Darkest Sin

by Ashton Blackthorne

  She sighed. “Just what I told you. The baby was gone. I had several scans. There was nothing in my uterus. It was just…over.”

  “Did you ever get pregnant again?”

  “No and I haven’t been on any birth control in ten years. I have been deemed ‘infertile’ by doctors, but they can’t pinpoint why.”

  “Did you consider fertility treatments?”

  She reached for a cigarette.

  I lit it for her as she continued, “I took Clomid, a pill that promotes ovulation for a few months. All it did was give me terrible headaches. I could ovulate fine. I had adequate eggs that wasn’t the problem. My tubes were clear. My bloodwork was fine. The next step would’ve been IVF or injectables, but I just couldn’t do it at that point. My husband wasn’t nearly as invested as I was in the process and he seemed content with the children he had. But I wasn’t content. I wanted my own baby. Ironically, infertility is the mother of all bitches.” Reese inhaled deeply.

  I wondered if she needed something stronger, but I had no drugs in my house. Sobriety was my priority. “I’m so sorry, but this changes nothing between us. I’m sorry you couldn’t have a baby, but you will help me raise mine.”

  She smiled weakly. “That might be your intention, but I’m sure Sasha thinks differently. There wouldn’t be room for me.” Fresh tears poured down her face.

  “No, no, no, baby. That’s not true. You’re my life. I want you with me always.” I took the cigarette from her and flicked it into the ashtray.

  Reese grew silent. “Ayden, I can’t process this right now. I don’t know where to begin.”

  I understood. It was a lot to understand. I still didn’t get it myself.

  “I just want to go to bed right now.”

  Squeezing her hand, I gestured for her to go upstairs. I needed time to think on it myself.

  One Hundred Five

  Ash

  “What do you think of a Valentine’s wedding?” I asked Amber as we sat down to breakfast. We were eating brunch out on the deck overlooking the ocean. The breeze was swift, but delightful. The sun streamed down upon us warming the day nicely.

  “Valentine’s Day?”

  “I know it’s cliché, but it seems appropriate.”

  She thought a moment as she sipped her mimosa. “I like it. Let’s call Heratio and see if I can book him as our wedding planner.”

  “Heratio?”

  “He planned Leah MacNamara’s wedding last year and two senators earlier this year. He also has worked with several members of the royal family.”

  “Is that some secret?” I laughed pushing a forkful of Eggs Benedict to my mouth.

  “Not at all.”

  “Don’t tell me. He’s doing the royal wedding, too?”

  Amber waved her hand at me. “Of course not. He’s not that big, but he did do a spectacular job at the MacNamara’s wedding.”

  “Did I attend that one?”

  “Ash, don’t you remember? It was the one last winter. I wore the deep blue backless gown you adored.”

  I recalled how beautiful she’d looked in that gown. “I remember now. You were stunning.” I grinned at her.

  Our attention was drawn from our meal to someone running down the beach towards us.

  “Who the hell is that?” Amber peered at the figure drawing closer to us.

  As the runner got closer, I recognized him instantly. “It’s Ayden.”

  “But why wouldn’t he just come through the house?”

  “Ash! Amber! Sorry to burst in on you like this.” He puffed out of breath from running. His hair was wet and plastered to his head.

  “No problem. We were just finishing up. What do you think of a Valentine’s wedding?”

  “Wedding?” he asked looking confused.

  “Amber and I are getting married. Who did you think I meant?”

  He shook his head as he poured himself a mimosa from the glass pitcher. “I need to talk to you, Ash. It’s important.”

  Amber smiled taking the hint. “I think I’ll just go call Heratio now and see what he has for Valentine’s.”

  “Great idea.” As we watched her walk back to the house, I turned my attention to my brother. He looked drained as if he hadn’t slept in days. I panicked thinking he might be using again. “What’s going on?”

  Ayden gazed out at the ocean for a moment before replying. He ran his hands through his wet hair. “Sasha.”

  Oh, God. I prayed he hadn’t cheated on Reese with Sasha. I didn’t think he would do such a thing, but he was known for acting impulsively. “What about her?”

  He sighed heavily. “She’s back.”

  “How did she find you?”

  “PI.”

  “Why would she do that?” This was going to be ugly I could tell. Time to fortify myself. I poured another mimosa from the pitcher.

  “She’s pregnant. With twins.”

  Oh, shit. “Fuck,” I murmured. “She’s saying they’re yours. I take it?”

  He bit his lip. “Yes.”

  “When did she tell you this?” I gulped down the mimosa. It might be time to open the scotch next.

  “Yesterday, she came by the house. Reese was out and we talked. I was shocked to see her there. She’s five months along.”

  “How is that possible? You haven’t seen her for a while. You broke up with her after you moved to the cabin didn’t you?”

  Ayden hesitated a moment. “She visited me a few times in the cabin,” he confessed.

  I slammed my fist down on the table. “Dammit, Ayden! I had given you strict instructions not to reveal your location to anyone at all.”

  “What does it matter now?”

  “It doesn’t, now that Ava and I fixed everything for you, but it’s just the way you are. You never listen to anyone. I told you that for your own good.” I continued banging my fist on the table. He infuriated me like no one else.

  “What’s done is done. The last time she and I were together was five months ago. I did the math. It’s entirely possible.”

  “I hate to sound like a jerk, but did you think of the possibility they’re not yours? You said she liked threeways and all. She was a party girl.”

  Ayden shot me a look of disdain. “No, they’re mine. Sasha and I did three ways and I know she wasn’t exactly a virgin, but she didn’t cheat. She wouldn’t lie about this.”

  “Okay, okay, but it wouldn’t hurt to get a DNA test done.”

  Ayden finished his mimosa and poured another.

  “Do you need something stronger?” I asked gesturing to his glass.

  “Do you?” He countered laughing.

  “I think so. I’ll call Vera.”

  Ayden put his hand on my arm. “Not yet. It’s only 11 AM.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  Ayden leaned back lacing his fingers behind his head. He looked up at the sky. “I don’t know.”

  “Does Reese know yet?”

  “Oh yeah.” Pain crossed his face as he looked down.

  “Shit. Things were going great for you both. Now all this has been dropped on you.”

  “I know. Reese is upset to say the least.”

  “You think? Of course she is.”

  He shook his head pulling a breadstick from the basket and breaking into tiny pieces. “There’s more to it. She couldn’t have children.”

  “When did she try to have kids?”

  “With her ex-husband.”

  I thought a moment. “The one who murdered his ex-wife?”

  “That would be the one.”

  The ocean roared in the distance. The winds were picking up blowing the table cloth around us. I leaned back in astonishment at Ayden’s revelation. It all seemed so unfair. He’d just gotten his life back together and this would, undoubtedly, tear it all apart.

  “I don’t know what to say. It seems all so….”

  “Unfair? Yeah, that was my thought too, but if these are my twins like Sasha says, I owe it to my children to
be there for them.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  Ayden slapped his hands on his thighs. “I’ve asked Sasha to move closer to us. I offered to get her a house out here.”

  “And?”

  He drummed his fingers on the table. “She said she didn’t want that. She has a place in the city. Honestly, I just came here to tell someone about this. Ash, I really, really have the urge to use.” His head fell forward into his hands.

  His confession came as no surprise to me. I grabbed his shoulder for support. I was so proud of him for coming to me instead of going off and getting high. It meant the world to me. “I’m so proud of you, little brother. So proud.” Tears welled up in my eyes. Blinking them away, I smiled at him. “The old Ayden would’ve gone off on some kind of bender, but you didn’t. You stayed sober this time. I’ve never felt so proud of you.”

  Ayden looked up and smiled at me. Unshed tears shone in his eyes. “Thanks, man. That means a lot. I just couldn’t…I mean, I’m going to be a father. I can’t be high and be a great dad. No matter what happens, my children come first.” Ayden set his jaw tightly.

  “Good for you. I agree, but don’t sacrifice your happiness with Reese.”

  He looked out over the ocean. “You know, Ash, when we were in Egypt down in that tomb, I never thought we’d see the U.S. again, let alone I would see Sasha.”

  “I had my doubts too.”

  “Now I find out I’m going to be a father.”

  “Look, Ayden, I just want you to be sure they’re actually your twins. Take a DNA test.”

  “I plan to.”

  “Stay cool, man. Call me later.”

  He waved as he ran back down the beach.

  One Hundred Six

  Ayden

  Later that evening after I’d calmed Reese down, I went to meet Sasha at a restaurant in the city. Reese agreed I should go alone. Admittedly, I was worried about her. I could see the pain in her eyes as I left, but I had to get things straight with Sasha.

  As I strolled into the restaurant, I spied Sasha sitting alone in a corner booth. Her hair was cut shorter than I’d ever seen it just below her shoulders. Faint red highlights caught the light making her look more beautiful than ever.

  “Ayden, I’m glad you suggested this place. Is it coincidence, we had our first date here or did you actually remember?”

  I hadn’t remembered. “A little of both.” I smiled. Why did I say that? I should’ve just admitted I hadn’t recalled. Now she was going to assume I had some sort of romantic interest in her which I didn’t. I was only there to discuss the future of our children.

  “You didn’t remember. I know you too well. It’s fine. I’m just glad you’re here.” She reached for her glass.

  “You’re not still drinking, are you?”

  She shot me a look full of venom. “Are you crazy? Of course not. It’s sparking water with lime. I’ve been taking good care of the babies.”

  Looking down, I noticed her middle bulging even more. I wanted to touch it to see if I could feel the babies kicking. “Have you thought anymore about moving out to the coast near me?”

  She brushed her hair back from her face. “That’s not what you really wanted to ask, is it? You want a DNA test.” She drummed her fingers on her glass.

  “Yes, I do,” I answered honestly.

  “I could pretend to be insulted by that, but it’s fair enough. We did a few threesomes with other men while we were together. I will agree to take one.”

  The restaurant began bustling with people. I assumed that the Broadway matinee had just let out. Customers were being seated all around us.

  “I don’t know if you knew, but sometimes DNA tests can induce miscarriage.” Sasha met my eyes.

  “Yes, if you do an amnio. If you do a blood test from each of us, we should be fine.” I had been up the night before reading on my phone. I had researched everything I could find on pregnancy and childbirth. That was just the way I was. If a topic interested me, I devoured everything I could on the subject. It was also a way to keep myself from using.

  “You’ve done your research. I’m impressed.” She smiled.

  “Yes, I did. There’s a clinic here in Manhattan that I already scheduled an appointment at for tomorrow morning. I hope that’s okay?” The restaurant was getting warmer by the minute. Perhaps it was due to the rapid influx of people. Nevertheless, I was sweating bullets.

  “Tomorrow is fine for me.”

  I motioned the waiter for a drink. “Can I get you anything to eat?” The waiter smiled pleasantly.

  Declining, I handed my menu back to him.

  “I’ll take the Chicken Cream Cheese Wontons.”

  “Very good, miss.”

  After he walked away, Sasha blushed slightly. “I’m ravenous lately. I’ve had tremendous cravings.” She smiled her hands touching her middle.

  “Any weird ones? Pickles and ice cream?”

  She shook her head. “Not too weird, I guess. Today it’s been chicken. Last week, I did have an overwhelming craving for popcorn and pistachio ice cream.”

  Laughing, I started to feel more at ease.

  After we caught up on small talk, Sasha noticed I kept looking at my phone.

  “So how’s your girlfriend taking this? I assume you’ve told her?”

  “Of course. She saw you leaving the other night.” I sighed. “She isn’t doing well. She was extremely upset naturally.”

  “Naturally.” Sasha looked down at her empty plate.

  I itched to have a cigarette. I began twisting my napkin in my fist. A customer at the night table had two toddlers. I couldn’t stop staring at them. The children were with both their parents and looked so happy. The little boy was wearing a set of blue overalls and kept pulling his sister’s golden curls making her cry. “Turns out she can’t have children. She tried having a baby with her first husband.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “So was I.”

  Sasha looked at her phone. “What time is our appointment in the morning?”

  “9 AM.”

  Sasha thought a moment as I was dying to get out of there. It was stiflingly hot to me and I wanted a smoke in the worst way.

  “Why don’t you stay with me tonight? That way you don’t have to drive all the way in tomorrow morning.”

  My eyes widened. Oh hell no, I couldn’t tell Reese I was staying with Sasha. That wouldn’t go over well. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Reese would never be okay with that.”

  Sasha waved her hands back and forth. “No, no, no. I didn’t mean it like that. I have a guest room you could sleep in.”

  I stood up to leave throwing two hundred dollar bills on the table. “No, thank you. I appreciate the gesture, but I need to get back. I’ll meet you at this address tomorrow.” I handed her the card from the clinic.

  “Fine.” She threw her purse over her shoulder.

  “The test results are back. Congratulations, Mr. Blackthorne, there is a 99% chance you are the father of these twins.”

  I sat back stunned by the news. I knew it was likely that I was, but to hear the technician say it made it official.

  Sasha sat next to me. She appeared pleased with the news. “I won’t say I told you so. But I told you so.” She smirked folding her arms beneath her swollen breasts.

  “I didn’t doubt you, Sasha, but I had to be sure.” I gave her my hand to help her up. “So, what now?” I asked as we left the clinic.

  “I made a doctor’s appointment for this afternoon. You can see your babies for the first time.”

  Words can’t begin to describe how I felt at that moment. I was elated yet frightened and concerned for how this would affect my relationship with Reese. Arriving at the doctor’s office, I sat anxiously with Sasha. I wanted to call Reese and explain more to her, but I just couldn’t. I had a strong urge to call Ash and Ava as well, but I couldn’t.

  I just had to focus on Sasha and my babies.

  S
asha squeezed my hand as we walked into the exam room. The nurse instructed her to remove her clothes and get into the gown.

  “Is this normal?” I asked her. I looked around seeing the diagrams of the different stages of fetal development. The room was painted light blue with pictures of happy babies on the wall. I had to admit I’d never been in any type of exam room with a woman before. I hadn’t been to the doctor for myself in years.

  “Yes. I’ve had two ultrasounds prior to this one. I made this appointment especially for you. If the DNA test said what I thought it would, I wanted you to see your babies.” Her face glowed with happiness. I still felt in shock as if it were all a dream.

  The door opened and a woman standing in a white coat and the nurse walked in bringing a large device with her on a cart.

  “Hi, I assume you are the father?” The doctor held her hand out to me.

  “Yes, I’m Ayden.”

  “I’m Dr. Katie Sullivan. It’s nice to meet you. Now are you ready to see your babies?” She smiled.

  I scratched the side of my neck nodding.

  “Wow, Sasha, I must say you weren’t exaggerating when you said how handsome he was!” The nurse named Melissa grinned winking at me.

  I pretended I didn’t hear her. I wasn’t particularly in the mood for jokes. I just wanted to see the ultrasound. Butterflies were making my stomach ache.

  The nurse pulled Sasha’s gown up to reveal her rounded abdomen. She squirted a blue gel onto her skin. She turned on the machine and rubbed the wand over Sasha’s stomach.

  “Are you both ready? Here it comes.”

  I watched transfixed at the screen as two tiny babies appeared. They were moving! I nearly felt faint. Tears began to blur my eyes.

  “Look at the outline of his head. Now there’s hers.” The doctor traced her finger along the screen.

  “That’s amazing. Look at them! They’re moving so fast it’s seems like they’re dancing!” I was so excited I could barely contain myself.

  “That’s from me!” Sasha laughed through her tears.

  I couldn’t stop looking. Those were my children on the screen. They were alive and moving about inside her. They were a part of me. Tears of joy soaked my cheeks. I rubbed my nose as I sniffled.