Sunny exhaled, as he looked around at all the people who attended the funeral and then his eyes landed on Deirdre. His heart pounded inside of his chest and one look at his friends and it seemed they spotted her as well. Too bad they couldn’t act on their attraction, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t watch over her.
* * * *
Deidra held her breath and tried to get through the funeral mass. As Michael’s sister, Cynthia, spoke about her brother and gave the eulogy, Deidra looked at the stained glass panels and counted each one. She focused on the images, the colors, the shapes, anything she could count in order to drown out the sorrowful sniffles as Michael’s family and friends mourned his death. She was getting so tired of these things. So many retired soldiers taking their lives, unable to cope with adjusting to civilian life. It was terrible, and she wished there was more she could do. It was so different here in Pearl. Even the group Cynthia and her brother belonged to was unlike Black Titans, which she had been part of. These men and women were retired military who wanted peace, wanted to spread hope, give support, and provide a safe environment for anyone in need. There were no rules or regulations, no forcing of marriage or ties for political reasons. It was just a group of people who shared similar experiences in life and found sanctity, friendship, and camaraderie together. They helped the community, and that was what impressed her most about the people here in Pearl.
Before long, the mass ended, and the procession began to follow the casket covered in an American flag. The moment the casket approached the main doors, she heard the engines start.
Looking to the right, taking her friend Cynthia’s hand, she spotted the group of at least sixty men. All retired or active soldiers, all part of a special biker organization that lived right on the outskirts of Pearl.
She spotted Sunny, one of the main leaders, a man ten years older than her and the largest, most intimidating of the group, aside from Chubs, who was over three hundred pounds, covered in tattoos, and a real teddy bear when you got to know him.
She nodded at Georgia and Maggie as they joined her and Cynthia. Then Dee looked back toward the bikers and Sunny. They were a sight, and she had to admit that having them here made her feel safe and also protected, which was very strange. Dee slept with a gun under her pillow and sensors on her doors to alert her to any potential intruders. She was on edge all the time even now, almost a year since arriving in Pearl.
Sunny was the head of the main family. His team members, Travis, Hunter, and Marino were all there alongside him. They’d known Michael well, as they knew Cynthia and her family. In fact Cynthia’s cousin Luke and his team, Ryan, Portland, and Shiloh, were part of the group, too.
Deidra glanced at the men. Her heart ached, and her belly tightened at the sight of them. They were all so attractive and gave of their personal time to attend funerals like these, yet they seemed so sad. But they had reputations of getting a bit wild and of having their own rules. Sheriff Wyatt Cantrell kept on top of them. He knew most of the men in the biker gang, and they all seemed to respect Wyatt.
As Sunny looked at Deidra, she felt her entire body heat up and quickly glanced away. She avoided him and the rest of his group as best she could. Having come from a family of bikers who were not on the same side as the law, she knew they could be trouble. The groups expected things and were so close-knit they didn’t take a liking to outsiders. In fact, where she came from, they even tried matching women up with men so that the higher-ranking individuals stayed in top positions. They were arranged marriages, but fidelity wasn’t necessarily a must. That wasn’t the same case here in Pearl. People met, fell in love and sometimes there were more then one woman and one man in the committed relationship.
She’d known right away that it wasn’t what she wanted back with the Black Titans, but seeing some of the new friends she made get involved in ménage relationships she couldn’t help but be interested. She considered that with the right men she might like that. Her friends said they always felt protected. That they were cared for in every way and that they were never lonely or felt smothered either. It had a lot of positives, but the moat important was the fact that no one was forcing it .
She left on bad terms with her father, Ray. The blowout she had with him over declining Raven and Ghost’s advances had ended with her saying she was leaving the group. The family. That wasn’t her life, her way of thinking, and she wouldn’t just marry two men she didn’t love or care for just because it was politically a good move. The whole idea of being told who she could marry irked her. First of all a woman needed to be in love and needed to know that the man or men loved her. Ghosts intentions were pure evil. His remarks about cutting her, wanting to hurt her and allow other men to have sex with her was pretty obvious that her life would be terrible.
Her father couldn’t understand that and it didn’t matter anyway because she was so scared of Ghost that she took off that night . She never told her father that Ghost had gotten aggressive with her and threatened her life. She’d known then and there that she needed to get the heck out of that place. But her father didn’t leave the group. He could have left there too when she had, and he could have refused to allow them their control but he didn’t. He stayed which meant he took their side and he wasn’t the man she thought he was.
She took an unsteady breath as she got into the limo with Cynthia so they could head to the cemetery. She missed her father, and even thought he didn’t make the right decision, she still loved him and believed that maybe he stayed to save her life and get Ghost and Raven to move on to someone else. She would never know, unless she called him, and more and more lately she wanted to. She wiped the tear from her eye before it could fall.
“Thank you so much for being here with me, Dee. I know you’re taking time off from work. Is Leonard okay with it?” Cynthia asked her. “He seems so mean.”
“Leonard is fine with it. He knows he can’t survive without me. I swear sometimes I wonder how he kept his bills and accounting organized before he hired me at the auto and home insurance company. I’m used to his attitude though.”
“You have a big heart, Dee. I’m so glad that you decided to move here after college. I missed you. It’s going to be so hard living alone and without Michael with me.” Cynthia sniffled as the tears rolled down her cheeks.
Dee hugged her close as the limo began to move.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here for you. You’re my best friend.” She felt the tears fill her eyes.
Cynthia smiled and then looked forward with a very serious expression on her face. This was going to be the toughest part. A military burial to honor a hero. Dee squeezed Cynthia’s hand and prepared for the worse.
* * * *
Sunny Lloyd stood still as he and his brothers watched over the ceremony. He couldn’t help but feel for Cynthia. He glanced at Perkins, Dugan, Karl, and Merlin. They stood right behind Cynthia and Deidra. They’d already spoken to him and to Wyatt about becoming Cynthia’s guardians and watching over her, taking her under their protection and wanting to claim her as their woman. It had surprised Sunny because these men were hard core, recently retired and still feeling the effects of battle. But it had become obvious months ago that they’d taken a liking to Cynthia and were always nearby watching her and protecting her. Now that Michael was gone, it would give Sunny peace of mind to know Cynthia was protected.
He couldn’t help but to look at Deirdre as she stood by the casket, placed a rose onto it, and then held Cynthia, supported her, and hugged her close. They were best friends, and Deirdre was right by her side.
He watched her closely as always, the way her body moved and how it looked in the slim-fitting black dress she wore. It accentuated her hips and that round ass that had to be firm considering the intensity of her workouts. She had fight in her, a fire in her eyes, yet she was always so calm, so soft-spoken and quiet. He liked those things about her and so did his men.
“Dee had a crew set up everything at Cynthia�
��s house. We’ll all head over there when this is done,” Travis whispered to him.
But his eyes remained on Dee and Cynthia as Dee helped her along the path toward the awaiting car. More often he wondered about Dee and where she came from, if she had any family, and who she really was. She had long blonde hair and deep blue eyes and seemed so classy and put-together. But when she was around him and his brothers, his team, she would look away and avoid eye contact. He didn’t know if she was stuck up, thinking she was better than them, or if she was fearful of them. But what he did know was that she had been a great friend to Cynthia and Michael. Without her here today, Cynthia would be a lot worse.
* * * *
Dee was happy to keep busy and help out serving food and cleaning up empty plates and things. Despite the sadness many of them felt over Michael’s sudden death, they were talking and making some jokes, creating a light environment to heal and mourn their friend. Cynthia was sitting on the couch alongside their friends, Georgia and Maggie. Perkins and Dugan were standing near the couch, too. Dee couldn’t help but notice how they watched over Cynthia even more closely today.
She wondered if they would make a move finally and claim her as their woman. Cynthia liked them but had held back her attraction because of Michael. Her brother had been so needy.
As Dee thought about that feeling, she turned away and headed back into the kitchen. Some of the old-timers were sitting there at the table drinking coffee and talking about sports. She could hear the deep voices by the side screen door that led out to the porch and recognized Marino’s deep voice. He was part of Sunny’s team. He, Travis, and Hunter had all been in the service together and were best friends. They also led the group of men on excursions, like today, that honored fallen soldiers no matter how they’d died. She thought about Michael. He was a nice guy, but he had demons he was always trying to run away from. She remembered some of his episodes where he was lost in his nightmares and on the defensive. It had been so hard on Cynthia, who tried calming him and even suffered a few bruises in the process. His post-traumatic stress disorder ruled his mind so completely that he sought out any kind of adrenaline rush he could get. Speeding his motorcycle down the highway at record speed was one method he used to fight the PTSD. Eventually it had cost him his life.
She swallowed the lump of emotion in her throat and then gasped as a hand landed on her hip from behind.
She turned, looked way up, and locked gazes with Hunter Smith.
“You feeling okay? I said your name a couple of times.” He caressed a stray strand of hair from her cheek.
She felt flushed, embarrassed, and at a loss for words. Hunter was a big man. He stood about six feet three and had large, wide shoulders filled with muscles and tattoos on his arm.
She swallowed hard as his deep brown eyes held her gaze and his knuckles brushed against her cheek.
She looked down and turned back toward the empty sink. She had already cleaned all the dishes.
“I’m fine, Hunter. Sorry I didn’t hear you. Did you need something? Did you have enough to eat?” She turned to glance at him but didn’t look him in the eye.
“I’m good. It’s you I’m worried about,” he whispered, and she looked away, not answering him.
She had a hard time looking any of his team in the eyes. They were just so intense, and they made her feel things she didn’t want to feel. She brushed past him and walked over to the coffee pot, grabbed it, and took it over to the old-timers at the table. They smiled and said thank you then looked at Hunter. One of them winked, and she quickly went about making a fresh pot as Hunter leaned against the counter, arms crossed, and watched her.
She could smell his cologne, and it was very appealing. He had an incredible body on him, too—big muscles, firm, narrow waist with rippling abs—and he was tall, dark, and handsome with his brown hair and tattoos. She took an uneasy breath and tried to ignore the pull she had toward him. She had to stay focused on her life plan. No men. No setting roots in case Ghost and Raven were looking for her.
When she finished what she was doing and wiped her hands on the dishtowel by the sink, he took her hand. It surprised her, and she tried pulling it away, but he held firm. One look into those dark eyes of his and she stopped trying to pull away and froze in place.
She stood still, facing the sink. She felt her body shaking.
“You need to take a break. You’ve been going non-stop for the past few days. You’ll get sick if you keep up this pace.”
She looked up into his eyes and tried to get over the effect he had on her just by holding her hand. Did he really care, or was he just doing his job, what came naturally to all of these men, which was watch over all the women, especially the single ones, because they needed protection and guidance. She didn’t want to accept anything from anyone because then she would owe them, or at least feel she did. She had to be strong and survive. This was her new life now. Her old one would have sent her to her grave by now. Of that she was certain.
“I’m okay, Hunter. Really. You don’t need to worry about me.” Her voice was firm, almost snappy, and she didn’t mean to sound that way, but he made her nervous.
She watched the tip of his tongue peek out and lick his lower lip. She couldn’t help but imagine how it would feel to be kissed by a man like him. He had such firm lips, but she shouldn’t, and couldn’t entertain any attraction to Hunter. Besides, the other problem was that she didn’t just have these feelings for Hunter. She had them for the others. For Travis, Marino, and even Sunny, who made her shake in her shoes. Then she thought about her father and, of course, Raven and Ghost. For all she knew they could be looking for her. She hadn’t even divulged her new location to her father for fear that he might tell Raven and Ghost, and she didn’t want to deal with them.
She adjusted her weight to one side. Her feet were killing her, and she really wanted to take off the heels but didn’t want to look so small around all these tall men. But as she switched and adjusted her feet to the left, she felt the ache and cringed.
“Your feet are probably killing you in those heels. You’ve had them on all day,” Travis said, joining them in the kitchen. Oh God Travis, with his sexy brown eyes, tattoos along his arms, muscles galore and damn that intensely macho smirk that wasn’t a smile but all he seemed to give as an indicator that he was kind.
“I’m good,” she lied and then pushed slightly away from the counter and began to head out of the room.
Travis took her arm and turned her toward him. “You’re not fine. You need a break. Come walk with us outside.”
She panicked. She didn’t like being touched. She didn’t want to be so close to two of the four men she was trying so hard to ignore.
“But Cynthia may need me.” She waved her hand toward the direction of the living room. Travis and Hunter didn’t even look that way.
“Her men are there to watch over her. You come along with us.”
Travis guided her to the porch, and the moment she stepped outside, the men stopped talking and looked at her. But in the crowd of about eight, she saw only Sunny and Marino. Both held her gaze with concerned expressions.
She looked away and felt the warmth from the last bit of sun as it set along the fields. It was a lovely backdrop that should have given her peace of mind and make her feel happy and appreciative of her life. But it didn’t. She had this constant ache in her gut, a fearful, almost anxious, sensation that was building. She wondered if she should call her father to find out if everything was okay.
She felt the hand at her lower back, and then Travis caressed her left arm as they headed toward the crowd of men.
They greeted her, thanked her for the hospitality and for helping her friend. She was touched that they took the time to do so, and then the awkwardness, the apprehension of being around this many men alone, made her almost desperate to leave. But Travis was right next to her with his hand at her waist or on her shoulder as the others thanked her and gave her kisses on the cheeks or hugs.
It made her feel safe and protected, and she fought to accept that.
She reached for the post at the top of the stairs and looked out toward the yard.
She couldn’t take the ache in her feet any longer, and she slipped off the shoes, left them by the stairs, and took a seat on the top step.
A moment later Travis walked down and stood in front of her, leaning on the railing, and Hunter took the seat next to her.
She felt so tired, and when she closed her eyes, she wished for a shower and her bed to sleep for hours.
* * * *
Travis watched Dee and knew she was exhausted. The usual brightness in her eyes was dull and sad. As she closed her eyes and leaned slightly back, he absorbed the length of her neck and the cleavage of her breasts as they practically poured from the top in the position she was in. He longed to taste her, to hold her in his arms, and to confess his attraction and desire to make love to her. But he feared her rejection. Plus his friends, his team, were interested in Dee as well. But they all had issues. They didn’t trust easily, and, well, bottom line, their hearts were broken. Maybe forever.
She was gorgeous though, a lot younger then him and his buddies, and she showed no interest in any of them or any man for that matter. At least none in this group she was around more often than not. But she did show fear. She was timid, shy, and reserved. He and his team wondered why she seemed so fearful of them.
Gang of Broken Hearts Page 2
