For Better or Hearse
Page 21
“I’ve always wanted to try Valium.” Leatrice eyed the empty glasses. “I hear it’s coming back into fashion.”
Sometimes I really wondered where Leatrice got her information.
“You drugged the bride?” I rubbed my temples. Darcy had been a piece of cake compared to this.
“How much did you have?” Richard asked Fern as he watched him lean against the wall with one arm.
“Only a teensy slip or two.” Fern slid down the wall to the floor.
I stepped over Fern and walked over to Nadine, shaking her by the shoulders. “It’s time to get married.”
Nadine raised her head and gave me a huge vacant smile. “Congratulations.”
I pulled her up by her arms and propped her against me. “No, Nadine. You’re getting married, remember?”
“If you think I should,” she slurred.
At least they weren’t reciting their own vows, I reminded myself.
“Bridesmaids line up in the order we rehearsed,” Kate called from the door in her best drill sergeant voice. “Don’t forget your bouquets.”
The girls shuffled into line and followed Kate out the door. I grabbed Nadine’s bouquet off the table and handed it to Richard as I tried to walk her into the lobby.
Richard stared at the green pod bouquet. “What on earth…?”
I held up a hand. “Don’t ask.”
“This is so exciting.” Leatrice clapped her hands. “What can I do?”
“Grab her train so it doesn’t get all twisted,” I instructed, motioning to the back of Nadine’s cathedral-length dress.
“Let me give you a hand with her.” Ian winked at me as he took the other side of the sagging bride. “This isn’t how I imagined spending time with you, but it’s not so bad.”
“I’m really sorry that I was out when you came by last night.” I tried to keep my voice low so Richard wouldn’t overhear. “Kate and I got stuck at work.”
Ian gave me a playfully suspicious look. “So you weren’t out with another fellow?”
I shook my head and felt my cheeks start to warm.
“I told him that I’d be shocked if you were on a date,” Leatrice chimed in.
“Thanks.” I turned to shoot daggers at Leatrice, who happily hummed “The Wedding March” as we lurched down the hall. I said a prayer of thanks that the mother of the bride had already been seated and couldn’t see the motley crew dragging her daughter down the hall.
When we reached the doorway to the ballroom, Kate was sending the maid of honor down the aisle. She closed the ballroom doors, and I passed the bride off to her startled father, pulling the blusher over her face. Kate and I each held one of the door handles and waited for the music to change while Richard placed the bouquet in the bride’s hand.
“Go slow,” I whispered to Nadine’s father as the trumpet began the processional fanfare and Leatrice unfurled the train behind them.
Kate and I threw open the double doors simultaneously and watched the bride and her father shuffle diagonally down the aisle before we closed the ballroom doors behind them. I slumped against the door.
Ian leaned next to me. “Boy, your weddings sure are something special. Dead bodies, drunk brides—”
I elbowed him lightly. “Hey, all our weddings aren’t like this.”
“Sometimes there are drunks and dead bodies,” Richard said, smirking at me.
“I wouldn’t mind being a wedding planner.” Leatrice stood on her tiptoes to look through the peephole in the ballroom door. “And I’ll bet it’s even easier when the bride is awake.”
“Not always.” Between confronting a murderer and getting a doped-up bride down the aisle, I felt like crawling in bed for a week.
“That wasn’t so bad,” Kate said. “Why didn’t we think of sedating our brides before, huh?”
Richard stared at Kate. “Because it’s illegal?”
“You know what they say.” Kate grinned. “All’s bare in love and war.”
Acknowledgments
I am forever grateful to everyone who was so kind and encouraging to a new author, especially the hardworking independent and mystery booksellers around the country, and the wonderful mystery fans. Special thanks to my friends and family, who turned out in droves: the Brocks, Boones, Stahlmans, Bettye Sullivan, and all the wonderful friends in Jackson, Pickens, and Natchez, Mississippi; everyone at The O’Neal School, the Country Bookshop, and all the Southern Pines friends who made my homecoming so special; my wedding cohorts in DC, who keep me supplied with war stories: Jenny, Ric, Steve, Anne, Nick, Monte, Jim, Laura, Justine, Diana, Andrea, Lisa, Peter, Christine, and The Mafia Girls; Gillian, Wendy, and all my great girlfriends, who spread the word like wildfire; my writing buddies: Noreen (my invaluable mentor), Carla, Sandi, Donna, Val, Peggy, Ellen, Susan, Barb, The Mystery Chicks, and The Goffman Group. Thanks to my wonderful agent, Peter Rubie, the fabulous folks at Avon: Jeremy, Danielle, and my amazing editor Sarah Durand. Special appreciation to my parents, James, Liz and Lua (who were all publicity machines), my mother for joining me on my first book tour, my wonderfully supportive husband, and my brand new daughter and budding mystery chicklet, Emma.
About the Author
LAURA DURHAM has been named Washington, D.C.’s top wedding planner for the past three years by Washingtonian magazine, has been featured in numerous national wedding magazines, and is the author of a recently released wedding planning guide. After graduating from Duke University and stumbling into wedding planning nearly ten years ago, she’s lost count of the number of weddings she’s planned. So far, though, no one has been murdered at any of them. She is the author of one previous mystery featuring Annabelle Archer, Better Off Wed. You can visit her and get more glimpses into the real life of a wedding planner at www.lauradurham.com.
Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.
Praise
TOASTS FOR
BETTER OFF WED
“Laura Durham’s Better Off Wed is a delightfully witty blend of murder and matrimony. Highly recommended!”
Donna Andrews
“(A) sparkling debut.”
Mystery Scene
“A charming, fast-paced funny addition to the humorous amateur sleuth genre.”
Romantic Times
“Fans of cozy modern crime are sure to find much to enjoy.”
MyShelf Reviews
“A great start to a promising series.”
Chicklitbooks.com
“A toast to Laura Durham. Her witty debut, Better Off Wed, is a perfect marriage of murder and mirth. The D.C. setting with suspects in high places and wickedly funny wedding guests sparkles like a champagne cocktail.”
Nora Charles
“Cozy mystery lovers should briskly march up their bookstore aisles to grab ahold of Better Off Wed. Author Laura Durham gives readers a modern-day Nancy Drew in Annabelle Archer, a D.C. wedding planner who concocts events to die for.”
Susan McBride
Books by Laura Durham
FOR BETTER OR HEARSE
BETTER OFF WED
Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
FOR BETTER OR HEARSE. Copyright © 2006 by Laura Weatherly. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
EPub © Edition NOVEMBER 2008 ISBN: 97800619
79415
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
About the Publisher
Australia
HarperCollins Publishers (Australia) Pty. Ltd.
25 Ryde Road (PO Box 321)
Pymble, NSW 2073, Australia
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.com.au
Canada
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
2 Bloor Street East - 20th Floor
Toronto, ON, M4W 1A8, Canada
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.ca
New Zealand
HarperCollinsPublishers (New Zealand) Limited
P.O. Box 1
Auckland, New Zealand
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.co.nz
United Kingdom
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
77-85 Fulham Palace Road
London, W6 8JB, UK
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.co.uk
United States
HarperCollins Publishers Inc.
10 East 53rd Street
New York, NY 10022
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.com