Choices of the Heart

by Daniels, Julia

  “Come along, children.” She herded her family out of the doctor’s makeshift examination room and back out into the bright sunlight. “Let’s go order you some new school clothes.”

  They hurried out into the crowded street, and Chloe congratulated herself on getting into town early. A small line of parents and children had formed at the front of the schoolhouse, and no doubt the wait to register would only grow longer. Chloe paused to talk with two women from her mother’s sewing circle, surprised by how friendly they were toward her. One had sons the same ages as Michael and Lucas, and Chloe hoped they would be friends.

  Walking to the mercantile, she waved to a few other townsfolk she recognized.

  They stopped outside the mercantile. Rosie had plenty of clothes—Chloe had purchased many items in Chicago for her and Charlie before she and Reese left. But the boys were already starting to gain weight, and soon their shoes would have more holes than they already did.

  Inside the store, Chloe and Rosie sat on a bench, playing tic-tac-toe as Mr. Jacobson measured the boys for shirts and pants and shoes. As each boy finished, they came and joined her, and when they were all done, she placed the order, adding underwear and socks and a few items for Reese, as well.

  As they left the mercantile, Chloe came to a dead stop, her stomach sinking. Waiting for her on the bench sat Pa. He stood as soon as she neared, and while she tried to sidestep him, without even a simple acknowledgement, he grabbed her arm.

  “Chloe baby, that ain’t a very nice way to greet your Pa.”

  “Let go.” She struggled to get her arm free, all the time worrying about the children behind her. She didn’t want to cause a scene and he surely knew that as he pulled her closer.

  “You let her go!” Michael stepped forward and grabbed her arm out of Pa’s grasp.

  Her pa laughed. “Got yourself a protector there, do ya?” He spit out a wet, slopping mouthful of tobacco. “Someone said they saw you today with a bunch of young’ins. Heard tell you up and married Lloyd after all. Sad you didn’t invite your own pa to the wedding. A course, not like you went to the altar a virgin or nuthin’.”

  “Pa!” She glanced both ways, hoping no one had heard his scandalous remark.

  “Ain’t no secret, girl.” He grabbed her arm again and pulled her close.

  “Let. Me. Go.” She spoke loudly enough for the few passersby to look their way. She dragged her arm free again and stepped back.

  “Always fighting me.” He moved closer to her. “Don’t you know that excites me?”

  She held the bile rising in her throat, knowing he was too strong for her to fight. Knowing her encounter with him in her hotel room had only been the start of the nastiness to come.

  “Well, I reckon a wedding calls for a celebration. I’ll be over to your place sometime soon with a present.” He leered at her. “You be waiting on me, baby.” He winked and then tipped his hat and meandered on his evil way.

  “Who was that, Mama?” Rosie had tears in her eyes.

  “That was my father.”

  He disappeared around a corner, and she took a deep breath and sat down herself on the bench, hoping she wouldn’t pass out.

  “We got another grandpa?” Michael asked.

  “Not one you want to know.” She bent over and drew the four of them near her. “You all listen and listen good. He’s a bad, bad man. If you see him coming you run the opposite direction, just as fast as you can. He’ll hurt you if you don’t.”

  “Will he come to the house, Mama?” Rosie’s lip quivered as she obviously fought hard to hold back her tears.

  “Your papa won’t let him, Rosie. But if Papa’s not around, and that bad man shows up, you run and hide. You’re all faster than that old goat. If he does come to the house, you run and get your other grandpa. Do you all understand?” She looked from one face to another face to another face to another and then pulled them all into a tight hug. “I love all of you and Bobby and Charlie, too. I don’t ever want any of you to get hurt.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  “Children sleeping?” Reese looked up from his latest farm journal when she came into their bedroom later that evening.

  “Possibly.” She chuckled. “They’re all in their own beds, at least. Had to shoo Rosie from Charlie again. She wants to play mama.”

  “Thank you for getting the mail today,” Reece said. “Got a letter from the attorney in Chicago. Maybe you saw it? They sold the big house, the boat and the cars. They also shipped one of the cars, along with the clothing and Bobby’s items. Should be here within the week, I reckon.

  “That is very good news, indeed.” She smiled and sat on the edge of the bed to undo her shoes.

  “Was there something you wanted to tell me?” He set his journal next to the bed and crossed his arms, waiting.

  “I don’t think so.” She racked her mind to think what he could mean.

  “You sure about that?”

  “What should I tell you about?” She heard the impatient tone in her voice and bit back on her irritation.

  “Did you see someone in town?”

  “I saw a lot of people in town.” She stood and unbuttoned the small buttons running down the back of her dress. She knew who he meant then, knew also that she was not the least in the mood to discuss it tonight.

  “Your father.”

  “Oh. Him.” She stepped from her dress and moved to the closet to hang it back up.

  “Michael said he was nasty to you. Is that true?”

  “I was trying to forget we saw him,” she said. “Pa threatened to come out here, Reese.” She emerged from the closet. “Said he would do what he tried to do in my hotel room the day of Daisy’s funeral.”

  “Aw, hell, Chloe. Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was deceptive in its softness.

  “I would have.” She nodded. “The encounter upset the children so much, especially Rosie, I wanted to wait until you and I had some time alone.”

  “We don’t get much of that, do we?” He sat up straighter, letting the sheet fall to his waist. “By day’s end, we’re both so tired, we just pass out. Up early, children are awake and about. Someone is always around.”

  “Is that why you’re so restrained?” she asked.

  “Restrained?” His brows furrowed.

  She sat on the edge of the bed and took his hand. “You never touch me. The only time you do is if we’re in bed together. You don’t kiss me when you leave in the morning, or at lunch when you go back out, or ever, really.”

  “You want me to?” he asked with a perplexed look on his face.

  “Of course! Why wouldn’t I?” She huffed. “Married people touch each other outside of the bedroom. My parents didn’t, but I’ve seen your mother and father hold hands—they’re still very affectionate toward one another, even after being together thirty-some years.” She turned his hand over, comparing his tanned skin to her pale, porcelain complexion.

  “But you didn’t choose me, Chloe,” he said. “You chose to raise Bobby, and I came along with the deal.”

  “Is that what you think?” She dropped his hand like a hot potato.

  “You left Broken Bow, remember?” He crossed his arms. “The only reason you stayed this time was because you felt you owed it to your sister.”

  “You’re an idiot.” She stalked to the closet to get her nightdress.

  “Why? Because I speak the truth?”

  “You don’t know the truth.” She threw her robe at him, which he deflected with the back of his arm. “I don’t think you could handle the truth.”

  “Try me,” he challenged.

  “How about this?” She pulled off her slip and then shoved her arms into the sleeves of her nightgown, not in the least concerned about her nakedness. “How about I never stopped loving you? What do you think about that?” She didn’t give him a chance to respond. “Do you know how it killed me to leave you? To leave what you and I had? Knowing full well that I would never, ever find anyone to love me the way
you did?”

  “I know how it felt to be left behind.” He tossed her robe back at her. “I can’t believe anything in this world could feel worse than that.”

  “I love you, Reese, I always have. Probably every single day of my life I have loved you. I can’t remember a time I didn’t love you.” She collapsed on the edge of the bed. “If anything, what I feel for you today, seeing you as the incredible man you’ve become, watching you handle the enormous responsibility of the farm and a new family, is even greater than what I felt for you when I left.”

  She paused so he could tell her what he was feeling. Here she was, laying everything out on the line and getting nothing in return.

  “You’re right about you and Bobby being a package deal,” she finally said, moving to the chair next to their bed, her heart sinking at his lack of response. “You have it backward, though. I stayed for you, and Bobby was the bonus. I took the second chance that I’d prayed for.” She looked him right in the eye. “I chose Reese. And I am happy I did.”

  Moments of intense silence dragged between them.

  “Come here,” he finally said, holding out a hand to her.

  But she held her ground, didn’t move. “Ordering me around now?”

  “It’s a husband’s job, isn’t it?” He grinned, trying to deflate her anger with a touch of humor.

  “I can think of things I’d rather have my husband do.” She crawled onto the bed and reached over him, turning out the lamp.

  He caught her hips and pulled her on top of him, allowing her to straddle him. “I’m glad you chose to stay, Chloe. For whatever reason.”

  He’d once said actions speak louder than words, she thought, as his hands worked their magic on her body. Maybe he wasn’t ready to tell her that he loved her, but she was more than willing to let him show her exactly how he felt.

  ~*~

  “Hello Dr. Babcock.” Chloe walked inside the new medical clinic a few days later, holding a squirming Charlie in her arms.

  Bobby walked quietly beside her, staring at all the pristine medical equipment with wide eyes.

  “Mrs. Lloyd. Nice to see you again. I hope there isn’t anything wrong?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “I just figured since you checked out the other four, I would have you look these two over, also.”

  “You sound like you are selling cattle, ma’am.”

  She laughed. “Well, they do eat about as much as the cows. But I wouldn’t give any of them up for all the money in the world.”

  “Glad to hear it.” He grabbed two new file folders and led them down a hallway. “So which one shall I look at first?” He opened the door to a fully furnished examination room.

  “This is lovely,” Chloe said.

  “I wish I had the funds to have three rooms like this. But for now, one will have to do.”

  He took Charlie from her and laid him on the table. The baby giggled but sat up straight and tall when the doctor helped him.

  “He looks just fine, Mrs. Lloyd. His weight is good, and he seems very stable sitting. His muscle tone looks about perfect. Is he eating well?”

  “Baby formula.”

  “You can go on and add some cereal now, too. Maybe a little Cream of Wheat. See how he tolerates it.”

  “Were you serious about me working here?” She blurted out the question that had been plaguing her for days.

  He laughed. “Short and to the point? I like that, Mrs. Lloyd.” He nodded. “I could use help, yes. A couple of mornings a week. But with all your children…”

  “I was thinking I could start after the children went back to school.”

  “What does your husband think of this?” Babcock raised his gaze, waiting for her to answer.

  “He doesn’t know yet,” she answered, taking Charlie off the table and helping Bobby climb up for his exam. “I wanted to make sure you were earnest before I broached the topic with him.”

  “Do you have references?” Dr. Babcock asked between examining Bobby’s ears.

  “Tickles.” Bobby laughed, rolled over onto his side from laughing so hard.

  She liked Dr. Babcock’s reaction—he kept tickling the little boy, laughing himself.

  “Well, he has very strong reflexes. Looks very healthy, just like the other boys. This is your sister’s son?”

  “Yes.”

  “He favors your looks.” Babcock gazed at her and then back at Bobby.

  She held Charlie in silence, watching Dr. Babcock go through the routine examination.

  “I have the names of several people you could contact,” Chloe answered his earlier question. “Doctors, charge nurses and fellow nurses, if you would like?”

  “Perhaps your direct supervisor? That should be sufficient.”

  He listened to Bobby’s heart and then moved to his chest. “His right eye crosses slightly.”

  “I noticed that.”

  “I think he’ll grow out of it. We’ll worry about it if it’s not corrected by the time he’s five.” He lifted Bobby down, tickling him under his arms.

  “After you left earlier in the week, I looked up an article in an older issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association about children who refuse to talk.”

  “Is that what it is, you think?” Chloe asked. “He could talk if he wanted to but chooses not to?”

  “I think it may have been his way of coping in a difficult situation. All people respond in a different way to stress. Your young Lucas is responding by, well, by not responding.”

  “I see.”

  “Once he feels safe and secure in your home, I would bet you will see some remarkable progress,” Dr. Babcock told her. “You do have a safe and secure home, do you not?”

  “Yes.” Chloe smiled, feeling safer and more secure in her life at that moment than she ever had.

  “Good, then. Down the road, if he’s still not speaking, perhaps we’ll send you out to Omaha or Denver to see a specialist. But for now, we’ll wait and see. Same with Bobby’s eye. No need to worry just yet.”

  “Thank you, Doctor.” He relieved the worry about both boys so easily. No wonder he was well liked in town.

  “You go on and speak with Mr. Lloyd about the nursing, and by the time we visit again, perhaps we can establish a schedule?”

  This was entirely too good to be true. Could she actually have all she wanted? Be a nurse, a wife and a mother? Would Reese let her follow her dream? Two mornings a week shouldn’t hurt. If anything, being in town near the children’s school would be a good thing. Her mind was spinning with the possibilities.

  They may not need the money, but she needed this—this freedom to work in the field she was trained, to be successful in something beyond the home and the kitchen.

  After writing down the contact information for her references, Chloe left the clinic, shutting the door firmly behind her. She emerged onto the paved sidewalk of downtown Broken Bow and nearly ran smack into Isabelle. For heaven’s sake, was the woman following her? Seemed she showed up nearly every time Chloe came to town.

  “Well, well, well, taking all the eligible bachelors? Wonder what Reese would think about you and the fine Dr. Babcock.”

  Chloe didn’t want another confrontation. This was crazy to have to argue every time she saw her old friend.

  “Isabelle, just stop already, would you?” Chloe shifted Charlie to her other arm. The baby was gaining weight faster than her muscles could keep up. “I can’t say how sorry I am that I hurt you. That Reese hurt you. I mean it. But there is no cause for you to keep being this way.”

  “He broke my heart, Chloe. You broke his and then came waltzing back as if nothing had changed—”

  “Nothing did, Isabelle. I still love him. He and I share a long past together and now a future. Children.” She lifted the baby in her arms. “I want nothing more than for you to find such happiness.”

  “I did, with your husband.”

  Chloe had no idea how to respond to that.

  “Goodb
ye, Chloe.” Isabelle left her standing on the sidewalk.

  How could a perfectly happy day turn out so foul?

  ~*~

  Chloe pulled in to her in-laws’ barnyard, rehearsing what she would say to her mother-in-law. She was sure Dr. Babcock would get a stellar report from her supervisor in Lincoln, as well as the two doctors she had listed as references. Chloe hadn’t included Dr. Tom Fields on the list. No telling what the man would say about her, especially since she had yet to answer his letter.

  If she could get Dottie to look after Charlie and Bobby those two mornings, Chloe believed Reese would agree to her employment. What other excuse could he have for keeping her home?

  She took a deep breath and climbed from the car, hoping the negative feelings from town wouldn’t carry out here too. She lifted Charlie from the backseat where she’d settled him in the baby carrier Mr. Henry Ford thought would keep children safe in his new automobiles. Then she helped Bobby from the car, laughing as he ran full speed to his grandparents’ back steps.

  She shut the car door and followed the small boot prints in the dry summer grass that led up to the house. Dottie was on the porch waiting for them, holding Bobby in her skirts.

  “Hello,” Chloe said, smiling.

  “Hello, yourself. Where’s the rest of the clan?”

  Chloe laughed. “Trailing Reese like little puppies. They seem to love having the space to run around. Reese is building them a fort in that old oak tree by the house. The older two are just in heaven, trying to come up with a name for it.”

  “Come in, won’t you? It’s awful humid today. We could sure use some rain.” Dottie walked into the house, with Bobby trailing behind. “Lemonade?”

  “No, I was just on my way home. I took them to the doctor for check-ups.”

  “Anything of concern?”

  “Not really, just figured since the others were seen, I’d take these two in, too.” She sat at the kitchen table and set Charlie on the wood floor. “Dr. Babcock thinks Lucas will talk when he is finally adjusted to us and the farm and feels secure. Bobby has an eye that crosses but the doctor thinks that will right itself with time, as well. The baby is fine.”