Indelible

by Jove Belle

  “Well, you two found each other, and that’s all that matters,” Vi stated. She looked proud.

  “Was it love at first sight?” Nan joined them, her eyes dreamy. “That’s how it was for me and Vi.”

  “I don’t know about that.” Angie laughed and hoped she sounded relaxed, though she wanted to strangle something. “But she definitely got my attention.” She didn’t want to offend her hosts, but the subject matter really needed to change soon.

  “What about you, Luna?”

  Luna stepped closer and placed her hand reassuringly on Angie’s low back. She moved her fingers in a light semicircle as she answered, her tone serious, “Love is defined in the long term, not in the moment.”

  “Ah, I disagree,” said Perez. “I fall in love every time the Victoria’s Secret catalog arrives.”

  Tori smacked Perez’s shoulder. “I’d be offended, but the same thing happens to me.”

  “Well, I fell in love in an instant, and it’s only grown stronger with time.” Vi lifted her wineglass, raising her voice to encompass the room. “A toast to my beautiful wife. Thank you for fifteen wonderful years.”

  Fifteen years was a lifetime to Angie. She tried to picture that far in the future and came up with a blank. Oliver would be twenty-five years old, but where would she be? Who would she be with? Was she building the foundation for something real, something lasting, with Luna? The vision was there, just out of reach. She could see the form, but the details were missing.

  She wanted Luna, but what if Luna changed her mind? What if she let herself really love Luna, then Luna decided she wasn’t worth it? That a relationship with a single mom and a difficult potential stepchild was just too much work? Her hesitation wasn’t just about Oliver, she realized. It was about not getting hurt.

  Angie drank the toast and hoped her hosts’ focus would remain on one another. She didn’t want to discuss her first meeting with Luna any more. And she really didn’t want to debate the plausibility of love at first sight. The origins of her relationship with Luna were suspect at best. They would not stand up to scrutiny since Luna had pursued Angie while still committed to Ruby. Nothing more than a kiss had happened until after they split, but the intention had been there. Angie hadn’t reflected a lot on how their actions affected Ruby, but with the woman in the same room, it was difficult to not face her guilt. She hated that she’d split up a long-term couple, no matter the context of their relationship.

  When they finished drinking the toast, Nan suggested they take the party to the back patio. “It’s sure to be one of the last decent nights this year. We should take advantage of it.”

  The yard was alight with several pathway illuminators, and the pond glowed from within. Tiny outdoor speakers filled the otherwise quiet night with the smooth, silky singing of Ella Fitzgerald. These women had the kind of toys that Angie was on the verge of giving up dreaming about. She relaxed as the music surrounded her.

  “Dance with me.” Luna pulled her close, one hand possessively low on her back, the other entwined with one of Angie’s and tucked between them. Angie looped her free arm around Luna’s shoulder, playing with the loose, wild curls falling over her back. “Thanks for coming with me tonight.” Luna’s voice was intimately quiet and low, and her lips tickled Angie’s ear.

  “My pleasure.” Angie stretched her body against Luna’s, luxuriating in her embrace.

  “I’m sorry about Ruby.” Luna slowed their movement until they were barely swaying, her forehead resting against Angie’s, her eyes closed.

  “It’s okay,” Angie whispered, “a little awkward, but okay.”

  Luna gathered her closer. “I must have been really good in a past life to deserve you.”

  “A past life?” Angie thought just the opposite. She figured Luna was her compensation for all the crap life had piled on her until this point.

  “Yeah, God knows I haven’t been anything but bad this time around.” Luna smiled gently and brushed her lips over Angie’s. Luna approached her with such reverence, Angie felt worshipped. At times the intensity frightened her.

  “You feel great from here.” It was the first time they’d danced together and Angie wanted the moment to last forever. Luna’s arms felt perfect around her, safe and loving, like a promise begging to be fulfilled.

  They rocked together without speaking as the music transitioned from Ella to the lower, sultrier voice of Diana Krall. Angie cracked open one eye and peeked at the other women. Tori and Perez were dancing also, talking and smiling as they moved slowly to the music. Did Tori feel as overwhelmed by Perez as she did by Luna? She was a tidal wave washing over and pulling Angie under, and God help her, she didn’t want to break the surface.

  Angie closed her eye and tightened her grip on the curls at the base of Luna’s neck. She loved this woman. She was almost certain of it, and the thought terrified her. Angie nuzzled into Luna’s neck and let the sweet smell of sweat on her skin, the low pulse of electricity between them lull her thoughts away. In that moment, nothing mattered but the woman in her arms and the skin beneath her lips.

  “You need to take me home soon, or I’ll forget we’re surrounded by your friends.”

  Luna moaned at her breathless proclamation. She released Angie’s hand and moved her other one to rest on Angie’s ass. She grasped Angie, pulling her tight against her, rocking her pelvis subtly into Angie as she kneaded and massaged the fleshy swell.

  “Let’s go then,” Luna whispered into her ear.

  They waited for the song to finish, then forced their bodies apart. The separation bordered on painful.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “I can’t believe you two are ducking out so early.” Tori pushed her way into the small bathroom behind Angie and shut the door. “If I have to stay, so should you.”

  Angie checked her face in the mirror. Rather than try to repair the damage slow dancing—and kissing—with Luna had caused, she simply handed her makeup to Tori and said, “Fix it?”

  “You’re helpless.” Tori’s tone and smile said she loved her role as makeup artist for Angie, despite her attempt to sound frustrated.

  “And you’re sweet.” Angie focused on the wall behind Tori as she reapplied her eyeliner and mascara. That experience unnerved Angie and it took all her willpower not to squirm away from the brush approaching her eyes. “I’d stay and entertain you, but I’d rather take Luna home and fuck her silly.”

  “Well, when you put it that way—pucker—” Tori made a kissy face at Angie and held up Angie’s lip gloss. “I wouldn’t stay either if that offer was on the table,” she said as she applied the gloss Angie had purchased based on the promise that her lips would remain kissably wet all evening. So far that had proved to be a lie.

  “You are not allowed to have sex with Luna.” Angie closed her eyes as Tori freshened her eye shadow.

  “Funny. Keep your eyes closed. A little powder and you’re all done.” Tori ran the soft-bristle brush over Angie’s cheeks. “I meant if sex in general was on the table I’d be out of here.”

  “You aren’t sleeping with Perez?”

  “Of course I am, but that’s not an option tonight. She’s got her period and that’s not my kind of thrill.”

  “Bummer,” Angie said.

  “Indeed.” Tori turned Angie toward the mirror. “How’d I do?”

  “Perfect, thank you.” Her makeup always looked a hundred times better when Tori did it. Why was that?

  “How’d things go yesterday with Oliver?” Tori turned her talents onto her own face and Angie propped herself against the counter to wait for her to finish.

  “It was good.” Angie hadn’t had a chance to discuss their outing with Tori last night at work. It had been too busy for even their normal playful banter between tables. “Oliver is very fond of Luna.”

  “And she likes him, too, right?”

  “She’s like a giant kid. She chased him around other people between rides, and she went on all the rides with him and Josh that
normal adults avoid.”

  “Sounds like a success.”

  “Yeah, the boys were really upset when we had to leave because Luna had an appointment with a client, but it was a good lesson in responsibility for Oliver.” When Angie had to cut a day short to go to work, Oliver treated her like he was being abandoned, but with Luna he had listened to her explanation about the importance of meeting obligations, then left without further protest.

  “Did he throw a fit?”

  “Amazingly, no. He just followed Luna, looking like a rejected puppy. It was sad and cute at the same time.”

  “What time are you expected home tonight?”

  “I told Jack not to wait up.” That had been a difficult request for Angie. She didn’t plan to be gone all night, but also didn’t want to rush home from her date. She’d had precious few official dates since Oliver was born and wanted to savor every moment, especially with Luna.

  Tori finished with her makeup and opened the bathroom door. “We should get back.” She gestured for Angie to exit first.

  Angie hugged Tori gently before passing. “Thanks for being such a good friend.”

  “Back atcha, babe.” Tori released the hug and gave her an exaggerated wink. “Now go find your woman.”

  *

  Nan held out the bottle of wine, an offer to refill Luna’s glass.

  “No, thanks.” Luna covered the top with her hand.

  “Time was that ‘No, thanks’ would have been followed by ‘Where’s the Jack?’” Nan topped off her own drink.

  “Yeah, but now I want to remember the things I do the next day.”

  “Angie seems nice.” Nan sipped her wine and peered at Luna over the top of her glass.

  “She is.”

  “Really nice.”

  “What’s your point, Nan?” Luna was getting antsy. She just wanted to collect Angie and go home, not have a conversation with Nan that required a decoder ring.

  “You think she’s the one?” Nan played with the commitment ring on her left hand.

  “I don’t know.” If Luna was being completely honest, she definitely thought Angie was the one, but that didn’t mean she was ready to say it aloud, certainly not before she discussed it with Angie. She shrugged. “Maybe.”

  “You two are good together.”

  As much as Luna appreciated Nan’s endorsement, tonight was the first time she’d even met Angie. “What makes you say that?”

  “You two remind me of me and Vi fifteen years ago,” Nan said.

  Luna nodded. Her friends had been ridiculously in love back then, to the exclusion of all those around them. Luna had been simultaneously annoyed and jealous.

  “Sorry about Ruby.” Nan patted her shoulder. “It hasn’t been too awkward here tonight, has it?”

  “It’s been fine, except maybe when Vi gave Angie the third degree.”

  Nan chuckled. “She’s incorrigible, really.”

  “Angie did all right, though.” Luna had been proud of the way Angie navigated Vi’s endless stream of questions.

  “We considered uninviting one of you.” Nan gave her a wicked smile. “But we love you both and decided you could just deal. Our anniversary, our rules.”

  “Makes sense.”

  “So where is Angie now?” Nan scanned the room.

  “She ducked into the bathroom with Tori.” It was a ritual that Luna would never understand, the need for girls to go to the restroom together. There were certain things she just didn’t want an audience for.

  “After that dance, I figured you’d be gone by now.”

  “That’s the plan.” Luna drained her wineglass and sat it on the kitchen counter. “I’ll go grab our jackets from the bedroom. Hopefully Angie will be ready by the time I come back.”

  Nan hugged Luna. “Let’s get together for dinner soon, just the four of us.”

  “Sounds good.” Somehow the thought of spending time with a legitimate long-time couple made a future with Angie seem more real.

  Luna had her hand on the doorknob before she realized that Ruby had followed her to the bedroom. She entered the room with Ruby close behind her. She didn’t like being isolated with her ex-lover, but they were grownups. Surely they could be in the same room together without disastrous results.

  Ruby closed the door behind her and stood with her back against it, effectively blocking Luna’s only point of egress.

  “What do you want, Ruby?” Luna sounded more irritated than she intended.

  “To talk, lover. I’ve missed you.” Ruby followed Luna’s movements with her eyes, and the thorough inspection made Luna feel a little dirty.

  “You don’t get to call me that anymore,” Luna answered softly. She didn’t want an ugly confrontation. She found Angie’s jacket and headed toward the door. Hopefully Ruby would move out of the way.

  “Why not? I’ve called you that forever.” Ruby didn’t step aside for Luna to pass.

  “Angie wouldn’t like it.” Luna waited a few minutes. “I need out, Ruby.”

  Ruby took a step forward. “You want me to move?”

  Luna shifted to the side and edged against the wall to let Ruby pass. She pointed at the door. “Angie’s waiting.”

  Ruby stepped closer to Luna, trapping her. “I just want to talk.”

  Luna dropped Angie’s jacket and put her hands up. How the hell had she gotten into this position? She blinked, hoping Ruby would prove a bad hallucination and would disappear if she cleared her vision. No such luck. “What could we possibly have to talk about?”

  Ruby relaxed and eased away, her arms no longer boxing Luna in. “About us. I don’t like where we left things.”

  “Neither do I, but nothing has changed.” Luna couldn’t believe it. Now, when she should be home with Angie’s clothes halfway off, she was having this conversation with Ruby.

  “We were good together.” Ruby crossed her arms.

  “We were convenient together.” Luna didn’t want to hurt Ruby, but she wanted to be clear. Ruby had a habit of hearing only what she wanted. “Nothing more.”

  “I wanted more.” Ruby picked up Angie’s jacket and smoothed the wrinkles. “I still want more.”

  “It never would have worked.” Luna took Angie’s coat. Angie wouldn’t want Ruby caring for it. “I need someone who needs me, someone who thinks about more than just herself.” Luna wondered about her statement. She wasn’t sure Angie would ever admit to needing her, but Luna was determined to prove she could.

  “I needed you.” Tears threatened to spill from Ruby’s perfectly made-up eyes. Luna hoped she could hold it together.

  “No, Ruby, you didn’t.” Luna spoke softly. She would tell the truth, but she really didn’t want to be cruel. “You needed to get off. Occasionally you needed to be held afterward, but you never needed me.”

  “I could tell her that you’re still in love with me.” Ruby’s eyes narrowed. “She’d believe me, you know. She’s about two steps away from running as it is.”

  “That’s not true.” Of course it was true. Angie told her all the time. Wait. I don’t know when I can see you again. Not yet. Luna felt as if her life was on perpetual hold waiting for Angie to decide she was worthy. Still, she’d rather wait for Angie’s approval, her love, than to settle for second-best with Ruby. “Even if she left right now, we’d still be over. You need to understand that.”

  “Luna, be reasonable. Since when do you want children?”

  “For a while.” Luna looked away. She couldn’t bear the confusion and underlying sadness in Ruby’s eyes.

  “She’ll string you along and then she’ll leave you.” Ruby took half a step toward Luna. “She doesn’t want, let alone need you.”

  “Yes, she does.” Even if she wouldn’t admit it, Luna knew the truth. She knew from years of watching her mom struggle. Angie needed her. No doubt about it.

  “You sound so sure.”

  “I am.” Luna hoped she sounded more confident than she felt. Just because she knew Angie needed he
r didn’t mean Angie would ever tell her.

  “I think I’ll ask her for myself.” Ruby looked toward the partially open door. “You planning to join us?”

  Angie stepped in, closed the door behind her, and turned the lock. “Just in case.” She gave Ruby a half-smile.

  “How long have you been there?” Luna braced herself. She hadn’t even heard the door open, let alone been aware of Angie’s presence.

  “Too long? Not long enough? Depends on who you’d ask.” Angie forced herself to breathe slowly, evenly. Finding Luna shut in a bedroom with her ex-lover wasn’t the end of the world, but Angie could think of about five thousand other things she’d rather be doing at the moment. “I was looking for you.”

  Luna held up her jacket. “I came to get this.”

  “I see.” Angie reached for it. “Thank you.” She allowed Luna to help her into the light fall coat and used the time to order her thoughts. They flitted from one to the next without ever grabbing hold of one. Ruby loved Luna. Luna thought Angie needed her. Ruby would always be there, waiting for her to fail. Luna wanted children. She’d need time to put them in order, make them make sense. “Do you need a few more minutes? I can wait in the car.”

  “We’re done here.” Luna took a step in her direction and Angie mentally sighed in relief. She didn’t want to leave Luna alone with Ruby for even a second longer.

  “No, we’re not.” Ruby reclined against the wall. Her body language said she was relaxed, but her eyes were all predator and focused on Angie. “You don’t appreciate her. You’ll tie her down and wear her spirit until she can’t take it anymore, then she’ll leave. Why don’t you save all the suffering and let her go now?”

  “You don’t know me.” Angie clung to her shredded self-control. “Don’t act like you do.”

  “I know exactly who you are. A little know-nothing, have-nothing fuck-up who couldn’t keep her legs closed in high school, then couldn’t keep her hands off my woman.” Ruby pushed herself close to Angie. “You’re a nobody. I know it. You know it. Eventually Luna will know it.”