Lost Daughters

by Mary Monroe

  “Because I’ll be needin’ a real strong drink,” Virgil replied, snorting dramatically.

  Maureen’s breath caught in her throat. First of all, whatever Virgil wanted to talk to her about had to be bad if he needed to have a drink to get through it. “Will I need a drink to hear what you have to say?” Somehow she managed to laugh, but there was nothing humorous about this conversation so far.

  Virgil’s silence frightened her even more. “I didn’t hear you,” Maureen said, swallowing hard. “Virgil, whatever it is, I want you to know that we can work through it. If you got a deadly disease or somethin’, you don’t have to worry. I will take care of you—”

  “It ain’t nothin’ like that. But . . . I might be real sick afterward,” he told her, his voice getting weaker by the second. “How soon can you meet me?”

  “I’m in the middle of moppin’ my kitchen floor. I was just about to finish up.”

  “I’m leavin’ as soon as I hang up this phone,” Virgil rasped.

  “You can’t even give me a little hint as to what this is about?” Maureen asked, her voice rising. “You know I don’t like a lot of suspense.”

  “Mo’reen, trust me, this ain’t somethin’ I can talk about over the telephone. When you find out what it is, you’ll feel the same way.”

  “All right. I’ll get to Ronnie’s as soon as I can,” Maureen said. “Whatever it is, it better be good and it better be important.”

  “I can’t promise you that it’s good,” Virgil muttered. “But it is important.”

  Maureen didn’t even bother to finish mopping her kitchen floor. She wrung out the mop and propped it upside down in a darkened corner by the stove where it looked like a thin woman with one leg.

  She grabbed her purse, slid her feet into her flip-flops, and trotted out the door. Mel had driven her car because he wanted to take it to the car wash on his way home. She didn’t like to drive his clumsy SUV, but it was either do that or call a cab or take the bus to Ronnie’s. She drove the SUV. Even though it needed gas, she didn’t bother to stop at the gas station on the corner. She was in too much of a hurry.

  A detour and an accident forced Maureen to take a longer route to the bar. By the time she finally got there, fifteen minutes later, she was so nervous she fell getting out of the SUV.

  She was on her second glass of wine by the time Virgil hobbled into the small dimly lit neighborhood bar twenty minutes later. He looked like he had not had a good night’s sleep in days—and he hadn’t.

  Maureen watched as he greeted the bartender and ordered a double shot of bourbon before he slunk across the barroom floor toward her. Virgil was a beer and cheap wine drinker. He had not drunk liquor as potent as bourbon since the day Mama Ruby died.

  “You look like hell,” Maureen told him as soon as he slid into the booth, clutching his glass with both hands.

  “I feel like hell too,” he admitted, sighing convulsively.

  Virgil took a long drink before he looked at Maureen. He had large dark circles around his eyes and stubble on his face. His hair looked like a patch of cockleburs, and his plaid shirt was so wrinkled it looked like he had slept in it. Maureen could smell the funk coming from his armpits. She couldn’t understand how Corrine could let her man leave the house looking and smelling like a hobo.

  Virgil took a deep breath before saying, “I was hopin’ that this day would never come,” he whispered.

  “You got me real scared. Is what you got to tell me somethin’ I need to know?” Maureen asked with her head tilted. “Is it about Corrine?” She adored her sister-in-law. She was a dependable and loving woman, and she clearly loved Virgil. However, Mary, Virgil’s first wife, had been the same kind of woman and she had up and left him without warning on a Sunday morning right after they had returned home from church.

  “No, it ain’t,” Virgil said.

  “Oh, well, is this about my husband—”

  Virgil held up his hand and vigorously shook his head. “This ain’t about Mel, or Lo’retta, or none of your friends,” he replied, his voice cracking. He drank some more and looked around. Then he scooted closer to Maureen and put his arm around her shoulder. “This is about you.”

  Maureen let out a mild gasp. She reared back in her seat and squinted her eyes and stared at Virgil. “What about me?” she asked in a low and hollow voice.

  Virgil covered his mouth and coughed before clearing his throat. He kept his eyes on Maureen’s face, which appeared to be frozen in place. “This thing about Jay really got you in a tizzy,” he said. “I was surprised to hear how much it upset you. When I saw how you kept gazin’ at Jay durin’ dinner the other evenin’, I realized then that you was hurtin’ almost as much as he is. What happened to him . . . uh, really got to you.”

  “Yeah, it did,” Maureen said with a nod and a sigh. “Is that what this is about? You want to talk to me about the kidnappin’?”

  “Somethin’ like that,” Virgil squeaked. “I need to talk to you about a kidnappin’.”

  Maureen shook her head, blinked, and gave Virgil a confused look. “A kidnappin’?”

  Virgil nodded. “That’s right. A kidnappin’.” He placed his head in his trembling hands and sobbed. For the next few moments, his mind was in another place, another time. He saw himself standing in the kitchen in Mama Ruby’s house in Silo again, watching her feed the baby she had just delivered.

  And stolen.

  Maureen noticed the bartender watching her and Virgil. She gave the nosy man an annoyed look, so he went back to wiping off the counter. When she looked to her side, a male patron at the table a few feet away was looking at them too. “Virgil, get a grip. These people in here keep starin’ at us.” She shook Virgil’s arm, forcing his mind to return to the present. “What is the matter?”

  His reply, when it came a few seconds later, was a hoarse whisper. “I ain’t who you think I am, Mo’reen.”

  Maureen gave Virgil an amused look. “Is that all?” she asked with a sigh of relief. “You had me come out here to tell me that? Look, I know you ain’t the man you used to be.”

  “What do you mean by that?” Virgil’s eyes looked so strange and hollow they reminded Maureen of bullet holes.

  “I know you went through hell in the war in ’Nam. Bein’ captured and put in a prison and all. You changed a lot because of that, but I still love you.” Maureen gave Virgil a warm smile. “Did you do somethin’ crazy while you was over there?” Then her eyebrows shot up. “I thought you said this was about a kidnappin’.”

  “That’s just it . . . ,” Virgil rasped.

  “That’s just what?” Maureen wanted to know, running out of patience.

  Virgil looked Maureen straight in the eye and said in a very firm and clear voice, “I ain’t your real brother, Mo’reen . . . and Mama Ruby wasn’t your real mama.”

  Maureen looked at Virgil like he was speaking in tongues. “Huh?” was all she could say.

  CHAPTER 37

  VIRGIL’S WORDS HIT MAUREEN LIKE A BRICK, CONFUSING HER EVEN more. “What did you just say?” she asked. She suddenly felt captive, like a worm in a robin’s beak. She wanted to bolt, but she couldn’t. She had to hear everything that Virgil had to say.

  Virgil blinked and repeated what he had just said.

  Maureen’s mouth was so numb she couldn’t form another word until she gulped some air and some more wine and moistened her lips. “You ain’t my real brother and Mama Ruby wasn’t my real mama?”

  “That’s right.”

  “I . . . I . . . don’t know what to say to that,” she stammered. There was a look of absolute disbelief on her face.

  “Say whatever you want to say,” Virgil suggested. “I need to know how you feel about this.”

  “Well, it ain’t the worst thing in the world. Is that what’s got you so upset and actin’ so strange lately?” Maureen asked with a sigh of relief. “So I was adopted, huh?” A weak smile appeared on her face. Her smile disappeared when she looked in Virgil’s
eyes.

  He shook his head. “I wish that was the case.”

  “Look, Virgil. You ain’t makin’ much sense. If you need to tell me somethin’ crazy, you need to tell me before I go nuts. With you cryin’ and lookin’ like a whupped puppy, these people in here must think one of us is already coo coo.”

  “Mo’reen.” Virgil paused and looked at her long and hard. His lips kept moving, but it took a couple of seconds for the rest of the words to leave his mouth. “Mama Ruby kidnapped you from your real mama the night you was born.”

  Maureen kept her eyes on Virgil’s face. Then she froze like a block of ice. She couldn’t speak, move, or even blink her eyes. When she finally came out of her trancelike state, she shook her head and cocked it to the side, cupping her right ear.

  “My ears must be playin’ tricks on me because I don’t think I heard you right,” she said, her lips quivering.

  “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with your ears,” Virgil told her, grabbing her hands and squeezing so tightly, her fingers and his became temporarily numb. “You heard me right.”

  “Then I don’t believe my ears,” Maureen crowed, shaking her head. She looked toward the wall, then around the bar.

  It was still fairly early in the day, but there was a modest crowd. There was a construction site nearby and several other businesses on the other side of the funeral parlor. Ronnie’s bar had a loyal crowd of regular drinkers. Maureen was glad she didn’t see anybody she knew today. She was also glad the bartender and the nosy man at the other table had stopped paying attention to her and Virgil.

  “Virgil, you must be playin’ a joke on me,” Maureen accused. She looked directly into his eyes, wondering how he could spout such nonsense with a straight face. Especially with the news of Jay’s kidnapping still so fresh!

  “Now, why would I joke about somethin’ like this?” he asked, looking frustrated and frightened at the same time.

  They stared at each other for a few tense moments.

  “Mo’reen, I wanted to tell you this all my life, but I couldn’t do it as long as Mama Ruby was alive. You meant the world to her. It would have killed her if you ever found out she’d kidnapped you. She didn’t want you to know she could commit such a serious crime.”

  “A serious crime? She didn’t want me to know she could commit such a serious crime? What about all the people she killed? What could be more serious than that? She didn’t have a problem with me knowin’ about that.”

  “I know, I know.”

  Maureen looked away for a moment and then she gave Virgil a sharp look. They both blinked at the same time. “Virgil, whose child am I?” she asked in a voice that sounded like it was coming from the bottom of her soul. “Do you know?” She sounded so sad that Virgil wanted to cry some more.

  He nodded, blinking hard to hold back his tears. “Uh, remember that woman that stabbed you? The woman that Mama Ruby chastised in Fast Black’s cousin’s house? She came at you out of nowhere, talkin’ crazy and swingin’ a knife.”

  “Yeah, I remember that woman. She was crazy. Mama Ruby was only defendin’ me that day. To this day, I don’t know what possessed that woman to attack me. A random crime, I suspect. She was talkin’ all kinds of gobbledygook, like me and the twins goin’ home with her and all.” All of a sudden Maureen’s jaw dropped. “Was that woman . . .” She couldn’t finish her sentence.

  Virgil nodded. “That crazy woman was your real mama. Othella Mae Johnson. She used to be Mama Ruby’s best friend until . . . until Mama Ruby delivered you that night and decided to keep you. Me and her skipped town that same night, with you wrapped up in a towel.”

  “What about my daddy? Did you know him too?”

  Virgil gasped. “Girl, Othella had so many men comin’ and goin’ I bet even she didn’t know who your daddy was.”

  Maureen’s head began to spin. Her lips were moving, but she couldn’t get any words out for a few moments. “Now everything makes sense! No wonder that woman came up to me that day and wanted me to leave town with her. She knew I was her kidnapped daughter!”

  Maureen was trembling so hard her bones felt like they were going to crack into little pieces. She moaned under her breath like a wounded animal. She was not drunk or even tipsy, but when she rose, she wobbled like somebody who had been on a binge for days. Some of the other patrons started to whisper about her. Virgil grabbed her arm and forced her back down into her seat.

  “Mo’reen, take it easy,” he pleaded, offering a fake smile to the people who were still staring at them.

  “I think I’m goin’ to fall out,” Maureen whispered, fanning her face and gasping for air. This was the first time in her life that she had hyperventilated.

  “Take some deep breaths,” Virgil ordered, fanning her face with a napkin. “You’ll be all right.”

  Maureen dropped her head and looked at the back of her hands, then the palms. Then she looked at Virgil, squinting her eyes. “Mama Ruby died ten years ago. How come you didn’t tell me this sooner?” Her voice no longer sounded like the one Virgil knew. “I ain’t who I thought I was all these years. Just like Jay.”

  “No, you ain’t who you thought you was. I didn’t tell you before now because . . . well, I just couldn’t. I was scared to death of losin’ you.”

  “What about my birth certificate?”

  “Oh, it’s a fake.”

  “Jay told me that when he saw his real birth certificate, he found out he was three weeks younger than he thought he was.” Maureen’s eyes got big. She leaned back in her seat as if preparing herself to hear another frightening piece to this bizarre puzzle. She held her breath and asked, “Am I even the age I think I am?”

  “The date of birth on your birth certificate is true, but nothin’ else is. All Mama Ruby had to do was go up to the county folks and tell them that she had you at home. She gave them some bogus midwife’s name, and they didn’t ask her no questions. They just filled out the birth certificate and sent her on her way. Back then in the fifties, white folks didn’t care nothin’ about rules when it came to black folks.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” Maureen rasped. She stared off into space, trying to process this incredible news.

  Virgil looked in her eyes. “I just . . . I . . . well, you see, when the news broke about Jay and you kept goin’ on and on about how you felt about it, that was when I knew I had to tell you real soon.”

  “If the news about Jay had never come out, would you ever have told me all of this?”

  “I had planned to do it right after you got back from San Francisco, but every time I got close to doin’ so, I changed my mind. You was so unhappy as it was, I didn’t want to make your life worse. I wanted to wait until things got better for you.”

  “You ain’t makin’ no sense,” Maureen snapped.

  “All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. That’s why I wanted you to get married and all that. When you married Mel, I got to thinkin’ that you didn’t really need to know about your true past after all. I kept tellin’ myself that what you didn’t know wouldn’t hurt you.”

  “I always felt like I was somebody else,” Maureen said, more to herself than to Virgil.

  “What do you mean by that?”

  She blinked hard, but not hard enough. The tears finally came. “Jay told me that before he found out who he really was, he used to feel like he was a fraud. He didn’t feel like he really belonged to Mrs. Freeman. The funny thing about him sayin’ that was, I have felt the same way all my life. After Mama Ruby died, that feelin’ got even stronger. I had no idea why I was feelin’ that way. Until now.” Maureen slapped the side of her head. “Now everything else makes sense too. Like why I don’t look like you or Mama Ruby, and why she was so determined to keep me under her control.”

  “Guilt is a bitch, and I couldn’t carry it no longer. It’s been a beast on my back ever since the night you was born. I just hope you can forgive me someday. I apologize.”

  Maureen’s eyebrows rose and her body st
iffened. “You apologize for what? You didn’t kidnap me, Virgil.”

  “I was part of the crime. My hands got just as much dirt and blood on them as Mama Ruby’s did! And now . . .” Virgil paused and a wild-eyed look appeared on his face. “Oh Lord have mercy on me! The newspapers will have a field day with your story. Especially since the smoke ain’t even cleared from Jay’s!” Virgil placed his head back in his hands and sobbed some more.

  CHAPTER 38

  MAUREEN RUBBED VIRGIL’S BACK UNTIL HE STOPPED CRYING AND looked up. He blew his nose into a napkin and wiped tears off his face with another napkin. He looked like hell and felt even worse.

  “I didn’t know it was goin’ to be this hard on me,” he moaned. “I thought you’d take it a whole lot harder than me.” Virgil put his head down on the table, moaning and groaning.

  “Did you tell Corrine about this? Or anybody else?” Maureen asked in a gentle voice, her hand still on Virgil’s back.

  Virgil’s head jerked up like a mole climbing out of its hole. He stopped moaning and groaning and cleared this throat. “Goodness gracious no! Until today, I ain’t talked about this with nobody but Mama Ruby. There ain’t no way in the world I want to share this with anybody else. Not even my wife.”

  “Then don’t. It would do no good for her to know what you just told me.”

  “It was hard enough for me to tell you,” Virgil added. “I knew it would hurt you real bad.”

  “I’ll get over it.” Maureen smiled. “Uh, that woman who was my real mama, did she have any other kids?”

  Virgil wiped tears off his face with the sleeve of his shirt. “She did. Eight when we knew her. You was her ninth. She got around a lot, so she might have had a few more since she had you. Mama Ruby told me that somebody told her they all died in a house fire while Othella was out partyin’ one night. Mama Ruby stole you and then Othella lost all her other kids too. I guess that’s why she went crazy.”