The Bears' Famous Invasion of Sicily
Page 7
If you look at a map, you will see that the country of Italy is shaped like a boot, and that the island of Sicily appears to be something that Italy is kicking. What do you think Sicily has done to annoy Italy?
SUGGESTED ACTIVITY:
Draw a map of the various locations in this book, or of other locations you find interesting. Hide the map where it may come in handy. I once found a map left for me by a person I will call Q. Thanks to Q’s map, I was able to cross the Grim River without passing through the lair of a notoriously ill-tempered trout.
SECTION FOUR
Chapter 1
page 13
A brief summary of events: King Leander leads the bears down from the mountains to the plains, where they might find food and (Leander secretly hopes) his lost son, Tony. Immediately, the bears find themselves in battle with the forces of the Grand Duke, but the bears emerge victorious, thanks to the snow-building skills of the bear Titan.
The lesson of this chapter is clear: all sorts of terrible things happen when there isn’t enough food to go around.
QUESTIONS YOU MAY FIND INTERESTING:
Is it fair for the bears to come down to where humans live, looking for food? Is it fair for the Duke’s soldiers to shoot at them? Is it fair for the bears to crush them with giant snowballs?
Often, if you point out something that isn’t fair, someone will reply, “Life isn’t fair.” What is to be done with such people?
SUGGESTED ACTIVITY:
In a horrifying passage, Mr Buzzati writes that the Duke’s soldiers “killed without mercy every living thing they encountered up there – old woodcutters, shepherd boys, squirrels, marmots and even innocent little birds. Only the bears escaped.” This means, sadly, that only the history of the bears has survived after all these years. See if you can discover, through careful research or from writing one yourself, the history of old woodcutters, shepherd boys, squirrels, marmots, or even innocent little birds. If you are not interested in these creatures, consider writing a history of firefighters, because I fear I will not have time to do this myself.
SECTION FIVE
Chapter 2
page 23
A brief summary of events: Professor Ambrose offers his services to the bears – just in time to use up one of his spells defeating Count Molfetta’s army of boars. Please note that it is an army of “boars” – a phrase which here means “wild pigs” – and not “bores” – a phrase which here means “people who tell boring stories”. Even the strongest magic spells usually cannot defeat an army of bores.
The lesson of this chapter is clear: if you are being attacked by wild boars, it is useful to have some sort of wizard handy.
QUESTIONS YOU MAY FIND INTERESTING:
When the boars arrive, King Leander and Professor Ambrose have completely different reactions. The King draws his sword and cries, “Let us die like gallant soldiers!” The Professor begs, “And what about me? What about me?” Which reaction do you admire more? Keep in mind that the Professor ends up saving everyone’s life.
Count Molfetta is a cousin of the Grand Duke and trains an army of vicious animals to attack anyone the Duke finds repulsive. Do you have any cousins who would do such a thing for you? If you aren’t sure, call up your cousins and ask them. Listen for snorting in the background.
What do you think happened to the boars after they floated away? Balloons eventually pop.
SUGGESTED ACTIVITY:
Before the boars arrive, King Leander and Professor Ambrose argue all night long in profound philosophical conflict, a phrase which here means “without convincing each other that they are right”. Tonight, find someone with whom you do not agree, and argue with them until the sun rises.
My my, you must be tired.
SECTION SIX
Chapter 3
page 33
A brief summary of events: Professor Ambrose leads the bears to Demon Castle, where they encounter a number of their deceased companions. Together, they throw a wild party, which lasts until three in the morning, when the ghosts vanish – just as they were about to tell King Leander the location of his son.
The lesson of this chapter is clear: late at night is an excellent time for a party but a bad time to seek important information.
QUESTIONS YOU MAY FIND INTERESTING:
According to Mr Buzzati, “There are some mothers who say: ‘I cannot imagine what pleasure people get out of telling children ghost stories: it terrifies them, and afterwards at night they start screaming if they hear a mouse.’” Is your mother such a woman? I’m sorry to hear that.
In the illustration, do you think the figure hovering over the fire is a pair of ghosts with their arms around each other, or the ghost of a pair of siamese twins?
SUGGESTED ACTIVITY:
Mr Buzzati claims that ghosts are “natural and innocent things”. Other people claim that ghosts are terrifying and violent. Still others claim that ghosts are merely figments of the imagination, and some people don’t believe in ghosts during the daytime but aren’t quite sure at night. Conduct a ghostly investigation of your own in a nearby castle, cemetery, schoolyard or dark closet and see if you can find out for sure. (I failed this part of the reader’s guide when I was in school by hiding underneath my covers and whimpering until my instructor changed the subject.)
SECTION SEVEN
Chapter 4
page 44
A brief summary of events: Leander leads the bears to the Eagle’s Nest Castle to search for Tony, but the local ogre sets his horrifying pet, Marmoset the Cat, upon the army. All seems lost until the bear Merlin kills the cat with an ingenious digestive strategy, but even so, Tony is not to be found, so all the suffering is for nothing – not only the bears’ suffering, but the suffering of the readers, who shudder through the entire chapter for no good reason.
The lesson of this chapter is clear: cats – and their owners – are not to be trusted.
QUESTIONS YOU MAY FIND INTERESTING:
The bear Merlin saves the day by leaping into the cat’s mouth in a brave act of self-sacrifice. Do you think you could sacrifice yourself in this way? Me neither.
Of course, it turns out that Merlin survives after all. Does this change your mind? Me neither.
In the rhyming section of the chapter, Mr Buzzati states that Marmoset eats “James Johns Adolfs Alphonses” and “Normans Nathaniels Davids Daniels”. It seems, then, that the beast prefers boys to girls. Why might this be so?
SUGGESTED ACTIVITY:
According to Mr Buzzati, the ogre catches Marmoset the Cat with a net made of witches’ hair. Build such a net yourself, and see if it can truly catch an enormous and ravenous beast. If this task seems too daunting – a word which here means “quite impossible” – make a net out of a piece of tissue paper, and see if it can catch a small, harmless bug.
SECTION EIGHT
Chapter 5
page 54
A brief summary of events: faced with yet another obstacle in their quest for food, the bears engage in battle once more with the forces of the Grand Duke, this time at Cormorant Castle. It is a catastrophic failure. A week later they try again, and thanks to the remarkable mechanical mind of the bear Marzipan, the bears carry the day – a phrase which here means “win the battle, although all this bloodshed continues to be quite heartbreaking”.
The lesson of this chapter is clear: sometimes the world appears to be nothing more than a parade of violence and hatred, looming over every living creature like an enormous black shadow. Of course, at other times the world seems fine.
QUESTIONS YOU MAY FIND INTERESTING:
It is almost impossible to find an interesting story – a true story or an imaginary story – that does not contain violence. Why is that?
Would the world, like a story, be less interesting if it did not contain violence?
Th
ese are very troubling things to think about. Let’s skip the rest of the questions.
SUGGESTED ACTIVITY:
After such a horrifying chapter, how can you possibly have energy for a suggested activity? All right, if you insist, I suggest the activity of sitting quietly with a Buzzati cocktail and allowing no one to interrupt you until you say so.
SECTION NINE
Chapter 6
page 64
A brief summary of events: victorious at last, King Leander and the bears burst into the Grand Theatre Excelsior to arrest the Grand Duke. Miraculously, Leander at last finds Tony, who has been forced to perform under an absurd name, but the Grand Duke cruelly cuts short the reunion by shooting Tony with an overdecorated weapon.
The lesson of this chapter is clear: there are few things more painful than a bad evening at the theatre.
QUESTIONS YOU MAY FIND INTERESTING:
As I’m sure you know, a landgraf is a German count who oversees small regions of land, usually farms. Yet Mr Buzzati says he is “not quite sure what this is”. Is he lying?
Why would an Italian author lie about a German count who oversees small regions of land, usually farms? Doesn’t that seem suspicious to you?
Poor Tony must perform under the name Bobadil. When you are kidnapped and forced into a theatrical life, what would be your least favourite stage name?
SUGGESTED ACTIVITY:
Recently I heard a rumour that the famous ballerinas of the Grand Theatre Excelsior, who turned to stone at the sight of the bears, will be taken down from the façade of the theatre and will tour the world as part of a travelling display of interesting moments in history. Write down things you might like to see in such a display. I’ve taken the liberty of starting your list for you.
The shoes that astronaut Neil Armstrong was wearing when he first stepped on the moon.
A portrait of Violet Baudelaire, posing with many of her most famous inventions, painted by a former associate of mine.
Several Egyptian mummies.
An unusually large paper clip.
Etcetera.
SECTION TEN
Chapter 7
page 75
A brief summary of events: while everyone in the theatre holds his or her breath, Professor Ambrose, inspired by the arrival of the dove of peace and goodwill, casts his last spell and rescues Tony from certain death. In celebration of this marvellous event – and of their victory in invading Sicily – the bears stage an enormous parade, followed by an evening celebration.
The lesson of this chapter is clear: it is rare to see a truly unselfish act, but when you do, you ought to celebrate, making sure there are enough refreshments to go around.
QUESTIONS YOU MAY FIND INTERESTING:
Do you think that Professor Ambrose actually used a magic wand to raise Tony from the dead, or is there another explanation?
Do you think any details of this story have been changed, to make the book more interesting?
If you look carefully at the illustration of the dance in the park, you can see that the bears in the orchestra are sitting in the trees. Do you think it is safe for bears to perch in trees clutching heavy musical instruments? If not, how can we help them?
SUGGESTED ACTIVITY:
Observe your surroundings and watch carefully for an unselfish act. When this occurs, have an enormous party that lasts well into the evening. Of course, it would be very kind of you to extend an invitation to an author who is staying up well into the evening writing a reader’s guide to be placed at the end of his favourite book.
SECTION ELEVEN
Chapter 8
page 84
It is thirteen years later, although readers of this book do not have to wait thirteen years before beginning Chapter 8. People and bears are living in peace, with Leander as their king, until a scandal erupts: someone has stolen Professor Ambrose’s new magic wand. Leander expresses his outrage to the men and women of his kingdom, but Ambrose suggests that the thief may not be a person at all.
The lesson of this chapter is clear: it is impolite to assume that one type of creature is more likely to be a criminal than another.
QUESTIONS YOU MAY FIND INTERESTING:
The crowd is so alarmed by Leander’s speech that one person throws a stone. At whom would you like to throw a stone?
Mr Buzzati makes a point of saying that Professor Ambrose is sneering, a word which here means “smiling or speaking in a way that suggests you are not impressed with the person you’re talking to”. At whom would you like to sneer?
Which do you think is worse to do, sneer or throw a stone? Which do you think is more satisfying?
SUGGESTED ACTIVITY:
In this chapter, King Leander stands on a balcony and makes a fierce speech in front of a captive audience – a phrase which here means “many people, all of whom are forced to listen to him”. As the crowd’s reaction shows us, it is best in these circumstances to carefully prepare what you are going to say. Write a fierce speech of your own, on any topic you find interesting, so that when you finally have your opportunity to talk to a captive audience you will avoid an angry riot.
SECTION TWELVE
Chapter 9
page 93
A brief summary of events: Professor Ambrose tells King Leander about a house of ill repute – a phrase which here means “enormous palace in which bears are drinking far too much wine” – but when the King goes to investigate, he finds only Saltpetre living in a modest house. Before this mystery can be unravelled, however, it is discovered that the Universal Bank has been robbed. Ambrose is arrested, but a sharp-eyed bear named Dandelion suspects that the actual criminal has gone free.
The lesson of this chapter is clear: things are seldom what they seem to be, including the lesson “things are seldom what they seem to be”.
QUESTIONS YOU MAY FIND INTERESTING:
The careful reader may suspect that there is more to Saltpetre’s home than meets the eye. Is there more to your home than meets the eye?
What would be the easiest way to find out if there were something suspicious going on in your own home? (Hint: It involves staying up very late at night.)
In the illustration of the Universal Bank, what is that large, round head in the sky? It certainly has a disturbing expression.
SUGGESTED ACTIVITY:
Most people think that alcoholic beverages, such as those served in Artichoke Park, ought to be enjoyed in moderation – a phrase which here means “by adults, as long as they do not drink too much and behave foolishly”. You may prefer to drink non-alcoholic cocktails instead, particularly when dangerous things are happening around you and you need to be alert. Below is the recipe for the Buzzati cocktail – a refreshing non-alcoholic beverage named in honour of the author of The Bears’ Famous Invasion of Sicily:
The Buzzati cocktail
1 sugar cube
½ lemon
½ teaspoon powdered ginger
tonic water
ice
Put the sugar cube in the bottom of a small glass. Chop the ½ lemon into several slices, squeeze the juice into the glass and drop the slices of lemon in. Add the ginger and lightly mash all the ingredients together with a spoon until you have a mushy mixture in the bottom of the glass. (This is called a muddle, a word which also refers to individuals who are having trouble making decisions, like King Leander.) Add two or three ice cubes and fill the glass with tonic water. Continue stirring your cocktail until it makes a very pleasing foam on top, and serve.
If you wish, you may alter the recipe to honour your favourite character in Buzzati’s book. You may wish to consult the character list once more.
If your favourite character is Leander, add ¼ teaspoon of honey, which the King always enjoys.
If your favourite character is Professor Ambrose, add a few dash
es of Angostura bitters, a liquid that is difficult to figure out, like the wizard himself.
If your favourite character is the bear Titan, add a few extra ice cubes in honour of his giant snowballs.
If your favourite character is the bear Merlin, add a maraschino cherry, which looks somewhat like the grenade he used to kill Marmoset the Cat.
If your favourite character is the bear Marzipan, add a teaspoon of sliced, toasted almonds. Almonds are the principal ingredient in a sweet paste, also called Marzipan, which is almost as forgotten as the bears’ history.
If your favourite character is the bear Theophilus (or any of the other apparitions), place the cocktail glass in the freezer for a minute or so before beginning the recipe. This will cause the glass to frost over, creating a ghostly setting for your beverage.
If your favourite character is the bear Dandelion, add a secret ingredient and make your guests discover what it is, in honour of Dandelion’s detective skills.
If your favourite character is Tony, kidnap the lemon slices before serving, and hide them in a theatre.