Michal's Window

by Ayala, Rachelle

  I averted my gaze and blinked back tears.

  Struggling for breath, she wiped her face with her shawl. “He took my son and gave him to his eldest wife, a Philistine, to raise as her own—as a Philistine prince.”

  “Does your son know you?”

  Ittai stood at the door, his face contorted with a strange expression.

  She shook her head, not seeing him. “The king said he would kill my son should he ever find out his mother was a Hebrew slave.”

  When I next looked, Ittai had left.

  * * *

  David grabbed Ittai’s tunic and pushed him against the trunk of the palm tree. “Why did you bring her yesterday?”

  Ittai’s jaw clenched. “Why did you send her away?”

  Anger boiled in David’s chest. “She’s my wife and none of your concern.”

  “Look, Jonathan sent me. He wants you to come back to Israel with Michal. He’ll hide you.” Ittai waved the note in his face.

  David yanked it and read. My dearest David. Every day we’re apart, I love you more. Please come back to me. I’m in Gallim with my friend, Phalti, son of Laish. Yours always, Michal.

  Guilt and regret coiled in David’s heart. She had always loved him, and he’d turned into a rogue and betrayed her. No matter, he was destined to wander the wilderness. A princess should not be consigned to a vagabond, forever exiled.

  “Jonathan has no business meddling.” David glared at Ittai. “I’ve pledged to serve your father. I don’t need this trouble.”

  Ittai’s eyes narrowed. “So, you’ve forsaken her?”

  David pushed past Ittai. This wasn’t how he envisioned it. He would have bestowed his riches and kingdom to her. Her beauty unsurpassed, she would be his queen. And Israel would be at peace under the feet of Almighty God.

  He kicked the pebbles and bloodied his fist into the tree trunk. She wasn’t supposed to see the squalor, smell the stench, taste his weakness. The dream was gone, finished.

  David stepped into his tent. His two wives stared at him. Dusty faces, worn expressions, cracked lips. “Why did you come with me? I’m not the future king no matter what rumors you’ve heard.”

  He kicked dirt into their bedding and overturned their pillows. “I’m the enemy. Leave!”

  Michal was Israel, the land of God’s blessing. Her father had driven him away like a dog. David crushed her note and threw it in the ash heap.

  * * *

  A week passed, and Ittai did not return. I asked Kyra where he had gone. She said, “He told me to ask you to wait. He is arranging something for you. Once you’re purified from your monthly uncleanness, you’ll be ready to meet the king.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Of course you will be brought to him. But you’ll have to wait, as you have not bled. I was once his wife, but as I was barren, he has set me to run this inn. You’re not barren, are you?”

  I sputtered and shook my head. “I mean, I don’t know. But what does it matter? I’m already a man’s wife.”

  She stared at me. “I know who you are, the daughter of Saul. I am to complete your days of purification and keep you safe.”

  “Is that why your nephew brought me here?” My words spat through gritted teeth.

  “He’s a smart boy, isn’t he? He has gone, no doubt to collect his reward, and you, my dear, are my responsibility. Come, relax your face and smile. This is no way to please the mighty king of our land.”

  Even as I smiled, I planned my escape. How could I have been so stupid? So naïve? Ittai had betrayed me with his smooth tongue and easy grin. If I ever lay hands on him, I’d squeeze… I shook my head. He was of no consequence. David would help me. He was my last hope.

  I sidled up to Kyra. “Since I’m going to meet the king, what can I do to thank you for your kindness?” I lathered my words like honey on warm bread.

  “There’s no need. The king pays me for purification of war captives.”

  “But, I would like to do something for you and those of your household, the maidens, and the young men who stand guard. You have all been most kind to me, even though I’m not from your land.”

  “We’re kind to any young woman who comes through here. Who knows if you will become the next queen? We want you to be happy here.”

  “Very well,” I said. “I’d be happy if I could prepare a feast for your household. I will cook a meal and serve you, all your maidens and your young men. Wouldn’t that be a story to tell your relatives, the night the future queen served you?”

  She laughed and patted herself on the chest. “Oh, Princess, you must not think so highly of us. We are merely the king’s servants.”

  “But, Kyra, you’ll insult me if you don’t allow me to make you a feast. If I’m to be queen, I must show gratitude for the care you’ve given me.”

  “Oh, you are too kind. Can Ittai attend? After all, if it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t have the chance to be the king’s wife.”

  “Most certainly. I wouldn’t want him to miss his reward.” I laughed gaily, and she trilled like a meadowlark.

  He’ll get his reward all right when I throttle his handsome neck with my bare hands.

  How could Kyra withstand my entreaties? Fluttering happily, she ordered her servants to take me to the market. In addition to the food, I bought a costly ball of cooked opium with my own gold.

  I spent the entire day with the serving maids, preparing the feast, plucking the chickens, dressing the lamb, peeling the vegetables, chopping and steaming. The young guards found their way into the kitchen more often than not.

  “Out, out.” I shooed them. “If any of you play music, go get your instrument. We’ll have singing and dancing tonight.”

  The feasting extended deep into the night. The young men played flutes, whistles, and drums. The young maidens danced with tabrets and rattles. I served everyone spiced wine laced with honey and powdered opium.

  Kyra cried over my shoulder. “No one has ever done this for me. What an honor you’ve brought to my purification inn. From now on, the king’s men will send every maiden my way.”

  “Have some more wine. I’ll never forget you, dear Kyra, or your wonderful nephew.” I almost bit my tongue with that last phrase. Oh, how I wanted to scratch that insolent grin off his face. Unfortunately, he had decided not to show.

  “Oh, Princess, it is a shame Ittai is too young for you. Perhaps the king will relent and give you to him.” She let out a maudlin moan. “Poor Ittai, if only you weren’t the daughter of Saul, it might have been.” She slumped over the table with a sob.

  The young men and maidens disappeared, two by two, with wobbling gaits to dark hidden corners or behind low hanging trees.

  I slipped a golden bracelet on Kyra’s limp arm and walked casually to my room. With my bag over my shoulder, I sneaked to the courtyard. A hand touched me. Tora.

  “Let me go,” I whispered. “For the love of the God of Israel, don’t give me away.”

  She grasped my hands. “Let my father know. Ribai of Gibeah.”

  “Ribai of Gibeah. I won’t forget. Do you want him to rescue you?”

  She shook her head, waving her hand like a wounded bird. “No, as long as my son lives, I will stay here, even as a slave.”

  I hugged her, feeling her pain and sadness.

  “Shalom. Go in peace, daughter of the Law.” She pushed me toward the gate. I fumbled in my bag and placed gold into her hands.

  “No, no. I need no gold, no silver,” she said. “Remember me and my fate. May yours never be as mine. Will you pray for me?”

  I placed a golden chain dripping with garnet drops around her neck. “Remember me, David’s wife.”

  She disappeared into the shadows. I glanced around, saw no one, and stepped out of the courtyard.

  Chapter 14

  Jeremiah 33:14 Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that I will perform that good thing which I have promised unto the house of Israel and to the house of Judah.

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  I walked through the dark streets, chilled by the damp fog. A few drunks loitered, but they were too inebriated to pay attention to me. Once or twice, a harlot darted between doorways. Fortunately, the moon provided enough light for me to find my way to the edge of the town. I dimly recalled my bearings and picked my path through the rubble, avoiding the broken bricks, piles of refuse and burnt fire pits.

  “Who goes there?” A rough voice shouted in Hebrew.

  “David’s wife.”

  Two filthy men with untrimmed beards and greasy hair stepped toward me from the shadow. “David’s wives are with him. Who are you? A harlot?”

  I propped my hands on my hips and raised my chin. “I’ll have you know that I’m his true wife, King Saul’s daughter. Take me to him.”

  They turned to each other. “Is she a crazy woman?”

  “Maybe we’d better take her to the chief.”

  “This late at night?”

  One shoved the other. “You go.”

  I stomped my foot. “Never mind. I remember the way.”

  Surprisingly, they stepped aside. I made my way through the camp to the tent under the palm tree. It fluttered in the breeze.

  I stilled my breathing. Was David asleep or entangled with one or both of his wives? All seemed quiet enough, so I crept into the tent.

  As my eyes adjusted to the dimness, I spied David asleep with a woman in his arms, her long black hair spread like a net across his naked chest.

  Twin shafts of anger and jealousy drilled through my temples, and I dropped my bag and staggered, knocking over a cooking pot.

  David sat up. “Ahi, go to the back.”

  She pulled on a robe and crawled to the side where his other wife slept.

  David unsheathed a knife. I froze. I could feel him scan the dim interior lit by a shaft of moonlight. My anxious wheeze betrayed my location. He leapt and grabbed me.

  “David, don’t hurt me,” I exhaled.

  The knife fell to the floor. “What are you doing here?”

  “I want to be with you.” I threw my arms around him.

  “Oh, Michal, I want you so much.” He grabbed both sides of my head and pressed his lips over mine. A rush of warmth flooded me. My heart responded to his caresses, and I melted into his embrace.

  Before I lost all conscious thought, I pushed myself upright. “You have to help me. The innkeeper is turning me over to the Philistine king to join his harem. I’ve just escaped.”

  “Were you seen coming here?” He pulled on a robe and motioned me out of the tent.

  “Yes, two of your guards accosted me. They wouldn’t let me pass until I told them my name. But they’re Hebrews, so we needn’t worry.”

  David groaned. “Hebrew or not, they can get the reward, and you’re still in danger. Ittai has gone to seek help from your brother.”

  “What? Why?” My mouth dried, and I couldn’t clear my tightened throat.

  “To rescue you. He didn’t think he could get you back to Israel by himself.”

  A tight shiver passed through my shoulders. Ittai had not betrayed me. But why would he involve himself against his own father?

  “My place is with you,” I said. “Let’s run away together.”

  “We have to say goodbye, for now.” His words twisted and wrenched my heart.

  “But why?”

  “Because I can’t protect you.” His voice broke. “I can’t keep you out of Achish’s hands. And I can’t take you back to Israel because your father will hunt me down.”

  “But I love you. Don’t let me go.” My voice ripped as the fraying of a garment.

  He put his finger over my lips and took my arm. We walked around the wall, following a small brook past the sheepfold.

  He spread his cloak on the ground behind a hillock and pulled me into his lap. “If I were a king, I would never have to say goodbye. I could keep you in a palace, deck you in finery, and roll you in rivers of jewels.”

  I grabbed his cheeks with both hands. “I don’t want that. I only want you, David. Do you love me?”

  “I can’t bear it if something were to happen to you,” he said. “Do you think it’s easy for me to be away from you?”

  “Then I’d rather die. I’ll—”

  David covered my mouth. “Don’t ever say that. I was never worthy of your love. You should have forgotten me, put me out of your mind.”

  “What are you saying?” My voice betrayed my dying heart.

  “I wish I could take you, but I’m not a brave enough man. I can’t see you suffering. Do you know what it’s like to be hungry, or to be sick and miscarry in a cave?”

  He bent over me, his honey-brown eyes soft and pained in the moonlight. “Please believe me. Will you trust me, Michal? Trust that I know what’s best for you?”

  “Do you still trust God?”

  “Sometimes I do, and sometimes I doubt,” he said.

  “He will make you king over all of Israel. Do you believe that?”

  He lowered his gaze. “I don’t know. I’m not sure if Samuel even knew. Perhaps he anointed me in error. Maybe he was angry at your father.”

  “David, you will be the king.” I stroked his beard and noticed an indentation over the bridge of his nose. At some point, it had been broken.

  “More like a hunted partridge, a step from death.” He shook his head slowly. “Your brother Jonathan deserves to be the next king. He’s a military strategist, a valiant man, a diplomat and a commander. He is more capable than I. In this, I agree with your father.”

  I tapped his chest. “Don’t say that. God does not make mistakes. What He says He will do, He will.”

  “I’d like to believe that,” he said, “just as I’d like to believe we’d live together happily, forever. I’m so tired of fighting, tired of running. I wish I could be a child again and find comfort in stories and dreams.”

  “No pain, right? Just dreams and stories with happy endings.” I stroked his beard.

  He snorted and smiled. “Yes, sometimes when I sleep, I could almost believe it.”

  I traced the line of his strong jaw. “When your kingdom comes, will you think of me?”

  He bent forward to kiss me, but stopped short, his eyes suddenly strong. “Yes, the first thing I will do is fetch you. And I will never let you go. I promise you.”

  “No matter what happens?”

  “No matter what. I promise.” He spoke each word heavily and firmly to impress his intentions in my mind.

  “I’ll wait for you then.” I touched two fingers to his lips, and he kissed them.

  “Put your mind to rest.” He held me closely. “You are the only woman I married in front of God, and the only one I made a covenant with. And your title, David’s wife, will I allow no one else to use.”

  The tattered edges of my heart knitted with his loving words, and my body swooned into his caring arms. His lips found mine, warm and compliant. He caressed me as he would a lamb and laid me down on soft pasture. With tender hands, he removed my clothes and loved me as calm as still water. And like a long, slow burning log, he anointed me with his love, and my cup overflowed with sweet and long lasting billows of delight, permeating every pore of my body and capturing the depths of my heart. Oh, if I could follow him all the days of my life, I would surely dwell in his arms forever.

  * * *

  We slept like two mated doves, nestled under a cold, misty blanket. When I woke, David brushed dewdrops off my hair. “Michal, don’t forget me. Don’t forget this moment, this night. Whatever happens.”

  “I won’t. I promise.” I rubbed my eyes as the image of David with a slender, long-haired woman sleeping in his arms jumped unbidden into my mind.

  David put his hand on my shoulder and led me back to the entrance of his tent. His two wives whispered to themselves in the back. Little more than skin and bones, their faces were weathered, and their clothes ragged. They both appeared older than me, although it could be due to the hardship they endured. I pitied them, bu
t I could never share a bed with them or be two cubits away while he gratified himself with one or the other.

  I opened my bag and set aside silver, medicine, herbs, and salves. I then took the bulk of Jada’s jewelry and gold and the finest gowns I had and pushed them under David’s bedding. With winter approaching, his wives could use some warmer clothes, and the gold would buy a better tent.

  David stared at me from the tent flap. He asked one of his wives to serve breakfast. She kept her gaze averted from me and bowed as she set the plate in front of me. After we had eaten, he led me by the hand. “Let’s hope Ittai’s back. I sent a messenger to him to meet us at the edge of the camp. I’ll walk you there.”

  “Why is Ittai helping me? Are you sure he’s not taking me to King Achish?”

  “He’s my friend. I trust him.”

  “Can you come part way with me to Israel? I’d like it if you would.”

  He lowered his eyelids and sighed. “I wish I could, but I am here as a liege to King Achish. Ittai is liable to get punished severely for helping you. I cannot take this risk because I’m responsible for six hundred men and their families. We need Achish to grant us land in Ziklag, a place to live where I’m safe from your father.”

  I traced the ugly scar on his cheek. “Always my father, isn’t it?”

  “It doesn’t change how I feel about you.” He kissed the side of my temple and caressed my hair. I wished he’d say more, but he cleared his throat and led me around the rubble and dust.

  Ittai stood under a craggy olive tree, his long hair flowing in the breeze, his short kilt flapping dangerously. He unhitched his horse and came toward us.

  David stopped and turned his back on Ittai. “Isha, don’t get hurt or killed.”

  “Ishi, you’ll be king some day and come for me.”

  He lingered, holding my face. “Thank you for your faith in me and in God.” He kissed me slowly and tenderly. “Remember my promise.”

  “I will, David. I will.”

  Ittai helped me sit sideways on his horse. I looked at David, still hoping he’d call me back or grab a horse to accompany me. But instead he stood under the olive tree and waved. The lump hardened in my throat. Through blurry eyes I stared at him until he was just a dot among the ruins.