Michal's Window

by Ayala, Rachelle

  He kissed my forehead and sighed. “This wasn’t the first time I let him go. I will show you En-gedi where I had him trapped in a cave. Your father was sorry then, but he continued to pursue me.”

  “I wish he had been truly sorry. Oh, David, what he put you through. I’m sorry, so sorry.” I rubbed my face against his shoulder.

  “Eglah, it was never your fault. You were always my beloved wife. But I couldn’t come for you as I promised. Abigail’s brothers tracked us, and Ahinoam had a miscarriage shortly after this confrontation. That’s why I went to the Philistines.”

  I stared at him. “You stole Abigail from her family?”

  “It wasn’t like that. I’ll tell you another day. You made both of them happy by giving them your gowns. You’re a wonderful and generous soul. I used your gold to buy supplies for my men and their families.” He pulled a golden bracelet set with large gobs of garnet from his robe.

  “I saved this piece for you. It reminded me of the drops of blood I shed on our wedding night.” He slipped the garnet bracelet on my wrist. It matched the necklace I had given Ittai’s mother. My heart warmed. David had never stopped caring for me. He had remembered me even while in the wilderness.

  I studied the deep red of the garnet. “My friend Jada gave me all the jewelry and gold. Please remember her generosity, and deal kindly with her if you should meet her. Jada of Jezreel.” I hoped David would not someday order the killing of witches like my father had done.

  He clasped my hand. “I will.”

  While the men packed the camp, David wandered back to the tree with his knife. When he finished, he pulled me over to show me his handiwork in fresh, green letters. Eglah, David’s wife.

  Laughing and a bit giddy, I tapped his chest. “I get a double portion?”

  “Yes, only you.”

  * * *

  We descended in elevation through drier and drier land. The sun beat hot, and my head throbbed. David noticed my discomfort and carried me to a cave. The cool, dank air comforted me. I rested my head on the cold stone and surveyed the vast emptiness and the waves of heat shimmering in the distance. “It’s a desert out there. I can’t imagine you traveled on foot.”

  “A lot of the men had wives and children. I only had Ahinoam. I don’t think Abigail could have made the trip.”

  The cool interior of the cave relaxed me. “What was Ahinoam like back then? She’s so quiet now.”

  He stroked his chin and looked out the mouth of the cave. “I found her in a haystack. The Amalekites slaughtered her entire village, including the man she was betrothed to. She’s carried that grief to the present. Sometimes she doesn’t understand why God kept her alive. I wish I could do something for her. She had another miscarriage while I was gone.”

  “I’m sorry.” I pressed his hand. “No wonder she seems so sad all the time.”

  “She’s suffered the most hardship.” He rubbed his lips in my hair. “I tried to find her a home in a village, but she insisted on staying with me, even when I had warned her of the dangers. I’ll need to check on Abital when we return. Haggith already had a son. I named him Adonijah, but I missed his circumcision. We had to finish the job of reclaiming our land and burying the dead.”

  David laid my head in his lap and sprinkled water on my temple. “Are you feeling better?”

  I studied his serious face, lined from the hardship he’d endured. “You’re a busy man.” I pushed away twinges of jealousy. “And I love you.” There was no point trying to change the fact he had married them. Soon we’d have a son together.

  David played his harp until the heat subsided. I napped with my head on his thigh, the sweet chords and his presence washing away the clenching in my abdomen.

  We resumed our journey in the late afternoon. The barren landscape led directly to an overlook of the Salt Sea. It lay vast and shimmering, blue, surrounded by stark red cliffs. Jagged, white pillars of salt poked dimply heads and shoulders from spires and ridges near the shoreline.

  The path narrowed at the edge of a sheer cliff. David dismounted and unpacked the mule. “I want you to ride the mule. She’s the most surefooted.” He packed the supplies on his horse and put me on the mule. “I’ll walk in front and lead the animals.

  I hardly dared to look down from the back of the mule’s neck. The drop was so steep I would plunge and not hit anything until I landed in the ravine far below. Sweat stung my eyes, and my heart pounded as the throbbing in my head rushed louder. I took a drink of water from the skin and fanned myself.

  David looked back. “Trust the mule, Eglah. Don’t lean. Sit straight up to help her.”

  My heart palpitating, I squeezed my thighs around the mule’s back. “But the path is sloped toward the edge.”

  “Close your eyes. The mule is wise. She’ll pick the best path. Do not pull or push her.” He picked his way carefully with a stick, holding onto his horse. Each step they took was more of a controlled slip, kicking up clouds of dust and scattering pebbles into the ravine.

  I gasped and looked up at the sound of a grunt and scraping steps. David stumbled and fell off the edge of the cliff while his horse squealed. I jerked upright and choked on my breath, and my womb tightened immediately.

  “David!” I screamed. His feet dangling off the side, he held onto his horse’s halter. The frightened animal tossed his head and trampled his hooves, causing a tumble of rocks to slide over his head. Thankfully David was able to prop his elbow above the edge and pull himself to safety.

  I cried and bawled like a baby, and it was several moments before David could convince me to continue. He patted my thigh and grinned sideways. “It’ll be something to tell our grandchildren and a good reason to use braided leather halters.”

  At the edge of the mountain-top that overlooked the Salt Sea, the path became too steep for riding. David asked two guards to take the animals to a cave to rest. Arik accompanied us, carrying the bed rolls and supplies on his back.

  An oasis, a shock of green, lay below the edge of the cliff. Swaying palm trees lined a river cut into the canyon. Farther out, the shoreline of the Salt Sea stretched for miles on either side, brown and arid. The mountain-top split into two with a narrow crevice on either side. A steep, rocky path over rugged boulders led to the oasis below. I held onto David tightly. Some of the steps were up to a cubit deep, and I found it difficult to pivot and hike while wearing a long dress. My skin prickled with sweat, and my chest swelled with heat.

  David tore a slit up the side of my dress and squirted water on my face. Slowly and carefully, we picked our way down the side of the boulders. As the cliffs behind us rose and darkened, we rested in a shady nook.

  “Drink. There are fresh water springs to refill.” He squirted more water on my face and laughed. Coneys sunned themselves on the rocks and nibbled on the bushes. Wild goats and ibex scaled the sheer cliffs to the side of us. Above us, birds of every type and color tweeted and screeched, darting from their nests in the cliffs to the giant reeds and thicket of trees below.

  We descended the last stretch of rocks in the shade of the cliffs. Sure enough, springs trickled from between the rocks seemingly from nowhere. Tiny waterfalls refreshed the landscape, and trees grew in a crack where the hidden river disappeared into the thirsty sand.

  A lush grove of palm trees welcomed us with a curtain of fronds. David pulled me under its cool, damp canopy. A balmy, briny scent softened the sultry heat. My feet sunk on a mossy mat, soft as a bed, and the rushing sound of the cascading waterfall drowned out the bird calls above.

  Arik dropped the supplies on a flat rock. “My king, I will hunt wild goat.” He bowed and trampled down toward a stand of balsam trees.

  David’s face split into a wide grin. “Time for a swim.” He pulled me into his arms and removed the sweaty rags from my body. “You look so good.” He rubbed my womb. “So round, so perfect. I’m thirsty, let’s jump in.”

  A trickle of excitement rejuvenated my spirits, despite my headache and flushed face
.

  “Are you sure we’re private?” I glanced around.

  “Who’d be so crazy to hike down here on a hot summer day?”

  A veil of water showered the jeweled pool, set amidst the towers of red and yellow sandstone cliffs. David nudged me behind the curtain of the waterfall and kissed me while water cascaded over my head and shoulders. Laughing and sputtering, we splashed under the falls and waded to a shallow area. He climbed up stone steps and dived into the center of the pool. He shook his head as he surfaced and lay on his back. I couldn’t swim so I contented myself with sitting on a flat rock under the falls.

  “If I believed in goddesses,” he yelled, “you’d be the goddess of the pool, the one who pulls a man in and never lets him take another breath.”

  “And if I believed in gods, you’d be a marble statue standing over a pool, your gaze farseeing, and a bird perched on your fig leaf.”

  He wrapped his fingers around my hair and pulled me into the water, kissing me. I pressed my hands over his powerful chest and traced between each muscular ridge on his abdomen, admiring the angles and planes, and imagining a sculptor chiseling each delectable detail.

  David’s sides shook, and he chuckled, “Enough tickling. Now it’s your turn.” He lowered himself to his knees and hugged my belly, kissing the entire expanse, his beard fanning over my skin like butterflies as I tried to suppress my giggling. The baby squirmed and tumbled in response.

  “That’s my boy.” He patted my belly and carried me back to the palm canopy. “Time for a nap.”

  Refreshed from our swim, we lay on a heap of lambskins. David held my womb possessively. “And you’re mine. My marvelous wife.” He kissed the back of my neck. Content, I closed my eyes and snuggled into his inviting chest. Dreams of a perfect family danced in back of my eyelids.

  I woke to the delectable aroma of roasting meat. Arik had bagged a wild goat. I pulled on a simple linen dress and joined David in front of the open fire pit. Arik handed us strips of meat, a loaf of bread and a skin of wine. David fed me, and I fed him. We laughed and played like newlyweds.

  After we finished eating, David held out his hand. “I’ll show you where I met your father inside a cave. I cut off the hem of his garment. He was, shall we say, indisposed at the time.”

  I put a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing. This would be one story my father never told at the banquet hall.

  We climbed over rocks above a meadow of reeds. The travertine marble walls of the canyon swirled and dipped above us. Scrambling behind a grove of acacia trees, we discovered a domed cave, hidden above the river. After my eyes adjusted to the dark, David pointed to a stone with a natural hole in the center. “Your father sat here with his pants down.” The corner of his mouth tilted up and quivered with suppressed laughter.

  “And we were hiding over there.” He pointed to the shadows within where the air smelled dank and moldy. “He didn’t see us, and he sat alone because of his modesty. My men urged me to strike him dead. But how could I do such a heinous thing? He left his robe on a rock, so I sneaked up behind him and cut a piece off.”

  I giggled. “And what did my father do?”

  “He didn’t know how close I was. After he finished his business, he left the cave. I followed him and bowed to the ground before him. I showed him the piece of his robe and assured him I meant him no harm. I asked him why he hunted me as if I were his enemy.” Tears pooled in his eyes.

  David had just shown me how noble he was. I hugged him and kissed his beard. “You did the right thing. That’s why I love you so much.”

  “He told me I would be king someday and made me promise I would not cut off his seed.” He stroked my face. “How is it possible that someone as marvelous, as loving, as kind and generous as you could come from someone like him?”

  I blinked back tears of happiness at his sweet words. “You returned his evil with good. You spared me, my sons, Rizpah and her sons and Anna. We were the last of the house of Saul. Jonathan had a wife and son, but no one knows where they’ve gone.”

  I fingered Jonathan’s ring. David wore it on his third finger. “I wore his ring five years,” I said. “On my left thumb.”

  He slipped it on my thumb. “If I find them, I will bring them to my house and care for them. Oh, Jonathan, my friend, my brother. How I loved him.”

  “And he loved you, too. His ring proves he believed in you.”

  His face broke, and he kissed the ring. We held each other and wept, deep in the En-gedi cave, where David had prevailed over my father.

  * * *

  In the evening, the sand on the beach cooled enough for us to walk barefoot. David led me to the edge of the Salt Sea. The thick, slimy water lapped against my ankles, quite unlike the fresh water pool we bathed in earlier.

  “Eglah, even if you don’t know how to swim, you won’t sink here. Do you want to try?”

  “Let’s wait until after sundown. I wouldn’t want anyone to see me.”

  “Modest, aren’t we?” David chuckled and drew me into his arms. “I can think of better things to do while waiting.”

  He found a flat expanse of cool sand and pulled me down next to him. We kissed and cuddled until the sky darkened. He undressed me and carried me into the water. “Keep your eyes closed, or they’ll sting. Now lay back.”

  I leaned back in his arms, and he held me in the oily bath of salt. The tiny cuts and scrapes I got from the hike through the cliffs stung. He removed his arms, and I popped to the surface. My hips would not stay down, and my belly bobbed high above the water, round and clear like the full moon, my breasts peaking like mountain tops above the clouds. Embarrassed, I folded my body and could not find my footing. I flopped to keep my head above water until David pulled me into a standing position.

  “Don’t hide yourself. You’re beautiful.” David took my hands. “Relax and close your eyes. Put your arms out straight to the side.”

  He tilted me back until I was floating again, my eyes closed. I felt him at my feet, the full moon above me. He walked backwards, holding my feet level, as I floated on water as primordial as the fluid in my mother’s womb.

  Our skin slimy with salt, we headed into the mouth of an enormous fissure in the mountains. A large spout of water flew over the lip and cascaded over a ledge of rock ending in a wide, shallow pool. The salt washed off our bodies as we embraced and dipped in the pool with the water gushing over us.

  After bathing, we hiked to a flat rock overlooking the Salt Sea. David pointed to the round moon. “I used to look at the moon and imagine I could bounce messages to you.”

  He cupped his hands and yelled. “Hello, Michal!” Turning his face, he cupped his hand to his ear. “Well, Michal… at least that’s what I used to call you… Your turn.”

  “Hello, David,” I said.

  He pushed me lightly. “That didn’t even carry to the thin reed over there. Louder.”

  “Hello, David!” I yelled and heard a faint echo in the distance.

  “Better.” He stood and cupped his hands. “Come back to me, Michal!”

  A bouncing echo called to me.

  I stood behind him. “You come back to me, David!”

  “I love you, Michal!” The yipping of the jackals carried the echo back to us.

  “I love you, David!”

  David… David… David… clamored back.

  David clapped his hands over his ears. “My, you are a loudmouth.”

  He tucked me into his chest. The warmth of his love spread over me, protective and comforting. We kissed until my eyes dropped like lamb’s wool. David carried me to the palm grotto and laid me on the bedding and caressed my entire body. We made love slowly in an almost hypnotized state until every nerve ending I possessed was satiated.

  I lay curled with my back against his chest. As our breathing slowed, he said, “I will wake you for the sunrise. Sleep.”

  * * *

  David nuzzled me with his beard. “Wake up.” I struggled to hold onto the bla
nkets, but he kissed my eyes. “Open up.”

  Sounds of the night soaked through the last remnants of sleep, the flush of an owl’s wings and the distant barking of a jackal. Night bugs chirped a steady cadence. I stretched and yawned, squeezing my eyes tightly before opening them.

  David’s warm lips were soon on mine to arouse me to full wakefulness. I pulled on a robe and followed him to the top of a large rock. Below us the Salt Sea lay black; her waters shimmered in the moonlight to the rhythm of her lapping waves.

  David surveyed the expansive view. I admired his profile, so solid and strong. I recalled the crazed twist in his face when he had held the sword to my abdomen. Just as suddenly he had clung to me and called me Eglah and mooned over my unborn baby and promised to cherish him. And now, he held me as if I were his treasure. What had happened to change him?

  “David, why did you take me on this trip?”

  He squeezed my shoulders and kissed my hair. “I wanted to show you the part of my life you missed.”

  “And I wanted to be with you.” A lump rose in my throat. “It’s beautiful out here, so peaceful now. But what it must have been like back then.”

  He held me tighter. “Yes, I try not to think of those days. It was pretty frightening, always at the edge of death.”

  A slow shudder rumbled my back. “I’m scared.” I stroked his forearm.

  “What are you afraid of?”

  My throat tightened and tears burst forth. I had missed being David’s wife through his wilderness trek. I had not comforted him, aided him, loved him while he suffered my father’s wrath.

  “What’s wrong?” David cuddled me, kissing me with bearded lips. “Why are you crying?”

  Burying my face into his chest, I tried to get the words out. Everything was too perfect, too intense, and he was too loving. It wouldn’t last.

  “Did I hurt you? I should have let you sleep.” He sounded disappointed.

  “No, no.” I wiped my face. “I want to see the sun rise. I-I want… want…”

  “What do you want?” he whispered and kissed my ear.

  “Happy… I want…”

  “Are you happy?”