Breaking Through The Wall (Guarded Hearts)

by Ashley Piscitelli

  She reluctantly takes the gun from my hand and I can see that she is shaking. She turns to face the target that is in her lane.

  “Close your left eye, line the front sight in between the back sights.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “There is going to be a notch on the front of the gun and two on the back. You want to make sure, when you are aiming, that the front notch is in between the back two. Then, you are going to slowly squeeze back on the trigger. You want to squeeze it in between breaths, though, so that you are not moving when you fire. Do not anticipate or be scared of the gun kicking back, because if you do, it will mess your aim up. Are you ready?” She nods her head.

  She takes a big breath, lets it out, then pulls the trigger. She gets so scared from the kickback of the gun that she drops it. Not only that, but my stupid ass was standing so close to her that when casing was ejected from the gun, it hit my arm and burnt me. “Fuck!” I knelt down next to her. “Are you ok, babe?”

  She nodded her head at me but was still silent. “I really don’t know if I can handle anymore today.”

  I took her home after that but this wasn’t the last time we would be here. I needed to know that when I wasn’t around she would be ok. I think a big part of my fear was knowing that he might get away with it and be free.

  Nicole

  This week has been absolutely horrible. Play practice has been unbearable, especially with Aaron being so close. Everything he said to me was either a dirty or sarcastic comment. I knew it was pissing J off, too, that I had to spend so much time with him. I had my cousin’s wedding this weekend and she told me that I could bring someone. I wanted to ask Jason but I wasn’t sure it would be something that he was into.

  I was meeting him for lunch now, so I guess it couldn’t hurt to ask. When I walked into the diner I saw him sitting in our favorite booth in the corner. “Hey, stud muffin!”

  “Stud muffin? Really?

  “Whatever. Next time, I’ll call you ugly then.” He laughed and I slid into the booth next to him. When the waitress came over to take our order, I looked up to see Alyssa. God, I hated this girl so much. Isn’t there a strip club or something she could be working at? I really don’t want her touching my food; who knows where her hands have been. After she takes our order and leaves, I lean back against J. I love being able to be like this with him. It is so nice having him not be apprehensive about us anymore. “So, I have something to ask you.”

  “Ok, as long as it isn’t to watch another one of those ridiculous movies again. I mean, I liked what happened after it, but I’m not sitting through another one.”

  “No, I have to go to my cousin’s wedding this weekend because I’m a bridesmaid and I wanted to know if you wanted to come with me.”

  “A wedding? I don’t know, Nic I have never been to one of those before; I wouldn’t really have any idea what to do. Do I need to wear a tux, like at prom or something?”

  I laughed. Jason really had no normal idea of things that you did when you were in a relationship. “No, you aren’t in the wedding, so you wouldn’t need to wear a tux. You could wear black pants and a button up shirt. I just thought it might be fun; there will be lots of food, an open bar, and a DJ.”

  “Um…I guess I could come.”

  I am so excited that he said he would go! I really didn’t think that he would. I leaned in and kissed him, “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, babe.”

  We ate the rest of our lunch then just hung out at his house for the night.

  “So, when you say that you are in this wedding, what does that mean?”

  “I am a bridesmaid, so I am going to go over to Jess’s house tomorrow night. We will go get our hair done in the morning then go to the church and get ready for the ceremony. I’ll leave you the invitation so you can put the address into the GPS.”

  “Ok, sounds good. Is your dad or your stepmom going to be there?”

  I could tell by his face that he wanted me to say no. I don’t think he was ready to meet my dad yet, and the longer I could keep him away from the wicked witch the better. “No, my dad is out of town and, thankfully, my stepmother always goes with him.”

  “What is up with you and her, Nic? Every time you talk about her or she gets brought up, I can tell it pisses you off.”

  I knew this would come up eventually and, if I wanted him to trust me, I had to be able to trust him. “She married my dad about two years ago. I could tell from the first day though that she couldn’t stand me. I even caught her on the phone with one of her friends talking about it. She had said that she was happy I was older because she didn’t want kids or any of the responsibility that came along with them. I guess I get it, in a way, but she is always such a witch to me. I swear it is like she gets pleasure out of my misery.”

  “What about your dad? Doesn’t he notice any of this?”

  “My dad is oblivious. He is so caught up in work that I am surprised he even knows I’m home half of the time.” An awkward silence settled between us and I could tell he was trying to process what I had just told him. “What about your parents? I mean I know you have told me your mom left, but that is all you have really said about her.”

  “My mom was…she was great, until she left. She didn’t work and was always there whenever we needed her. I used to think she was perfect but then I came home one day and she was gone. I get that what happened with Sara was hard for her, but it was hard for all of us. After she left, my dad just became really bitter. He is half the reason I was the way I was with girls. He always told me, ‘love em and leave em, before you get left’.” He wasn’t looking at me anymore. “That is why I kept avoiding you, Nic I didn’t know how to handle not wanting to leave you. I wanted to be around you all the time and that was a first for me.”

  “I know, J, and I could tell from the start that there was something there. You’re lucky you are so cute, because if it was anyone else, I would have kicked their ass to the curb a while ago.”

  He started laughing and looked up at me. He grabbed me by my waist and sat me on top of him so I was facing him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he smiled at me. “I am so glad that you didn’t give up on me. I know it wasn’t easy. The thing was, I knew I was hurting you, even though that was the one thing I was trying not to do. You better listen good, because I don’t say this very often, I’m sorry.”

  I leaned in and kissed him, my little kiss immediately caught fire. He grabbed the back of my head and held me in place so I couldn’t move, not that I wanted to anyway. I loved how passionate things were between us and I hoped that this feeling never went away.

  Jason

  I was meeting Carter for lunch today. He had texted me last night saying that he needed someone to talk to. I didn’t answer until this morning, because I was a little tied up with Nicole. I swear that girl will be the death of me. She is everything that I never thought I deserved and I will do whatever I can to never lose her.

  I felt a hand slap my back and, when I turned around Carter was there. “You are in deep trouble.”

  “Why?”

  “I have seen that look on your face before, many times. I see it every time I look in the mirror, actually.”

  “Can you tell me what the fuck you are talking about, Carter?” He wasn’t making any sense right now.

  “You, my friend, are falling in love.”

  “Are you out of your mind? We have only been together a couple months, Carter. I think you have watched one too many of those chick flicks with Maddy.” He had no idea what he was talking about. There was no way that I loved her, it doesn’t happen that fast in real life.

  “Whatever you say, Jason.”

  “Did you want to have lunch so you could sit here and talk about things that aren’t real, or did you actually need something?”

  I saw his face harden, and I knew that whatever it was couldn’t be good. “Maddy and I met with the district attorney’s office yesterday.” Shit, this can�
�t be good. ”I am nervous that he is going to walk, J.”

  “How the fuck could they let him walk, Carter? He shot you, and kidnapped her.”

  “That is not the story that he and his scumbag father are trying to sell. They are saying that I attacked him and he shot me in self-defense. He is also saying that Madison came with him willingly, because she wanted to get away from me. Apparently, they have “proof” that she applied to NYU, because she wanted to go there with him.”

  “What about Maddy? No one cares what her side of the story is?” I slammed my fist down on the table, catching the attention of everyone in the diner. Just then, Alyssa came walking up. How do we end up in her section every friggin time?

  “Hey boys, what can I get you today?” The entire time she was taking our order, she was all over Carter. I was trying to figure out how he had room to breathe, because she was standing so close to him. When she walked away, she was shaking her ass, so hard back and forth I’m surprised she didn’t pull a muscle.

  “That girl cannot take a hint, dude. I mean, how many times have you told her to beat it?”

  “I have lost track by now, J. I swear, every time I turn around she is there. It is fucking exhausting. Anyway let’s get back to shit that actually matters. The district attorney’s office believes Maddy’s story, but the thing is we don’t have to convince them. We need to convince a judge and possibly a jury if it goes to trial. I can tell it’s killing her too, J, and I feel so fucking helpless.”

  I don’t know how Carter is doing it, I could never handle this kind of shit. Chris was a sad excuse for a man and he deserved nothing more than to have died the night of the car crash. “If there is anything I can do, Carter, just let me know.”

  “I appreciate it, J, but I don’t think there is anything I can even do at this point. It is sad how far money and power will get you in this world. I took Maddy to the shooting range the other day.”

  “You did? How did that turn out?” I knew it would have not been a good experience. Maddy absolutely hated guns and her anxiety had been high lately as it was.

  “She completely freaked out, I knew she would though. She shot it once, dropped the gun, and collapsed on the floor. I hate that I am asking her to do something that scares her like this does, but I need to. My dad gave me one of his guns and I am keeping it in the house. I just feel better knowing that if, God forbid it came down to it, Maddy could protect herself.”

  “How does she feel about it?”

  “She hates it, but she is starting to accept it. How are things with you and Nic? Aside from you being in love.” He smirked at me and he was lucky I didn’t punch him in his smug face.

  “Carter I told you I am not there yet. Not all of us can be like you and fall in love in a day. Then again, I am not a woman that cries at sappy movies either, like you. Things are ok, though. Actually they are pretty fucking great. Nic is so hot, and I love how she will give my shit right back to me.”

  “Yeah, that’s what you need too. Do you guys want to do dinner or something this weekend?”

  “I can’t. I told Nicole I would go to her cousin’s wedding with her.” I knew that he was going to give me shit for this, so I braced myself. He looked up at me and started hysterically laughing.

  “Please make sure Nicole takes pictures, because this might be something that will cheer me and Maddy up!” I kicked him under the table. “Shit! I was just kidding, dude.”

  “Can I be honest for a minute, Carter?”

  He stopped laughing and looked up at me. “Yeah, what’s up?”

  “I don’t know how to do any of this shit. Weddings, meeting her family and friends; I have no idea how to act like a boyfriend, because I never wanted to be one.”

  “Listen, J, it really isn’t as hard as you think. Just be yourself.”

  “Have you met me?”

  He started laughing again, but then stopped and looked back up at me. “I get that you are worried they won’t think you are good enough, but let me ask you one question. Do you care what her friends or family think of you?”

  “No, I don’t give a shit about them. I just don’t want her to be embarrassed to be with me.”

  “If Nicole didn’t like who you were, then you know she wouldn’t have wasted almost a year waiting for your stupid ass to get a clue. So, just be yourself, but not too much.”

  This time it was me laughing, I just hoped that Carter was right. Now that I had Nicole, the thought of losing her scared the shit out of me.

  *****

  Sleeping alone last night sucked; Nic always spent the night on weekends. I had to be at the church for the wedding at 3pm today, and without her here to give me the wake up calls I loved, I slept till 12pm.

  I ate a quick breakfast and then went into my room to get dressed. Nicole said I could just do a dress shirt and pants, right? I looked down at the shirt I had on right now; it was black and had the phrase “Cool story, babe, now go make me a sandwich” on it. This would definitely not be wedding appropriate.

  When I walked into the church, it was pretty packed. I saw a seat in one of the first couple pews, but aren’t only close family members supposed to sit up there? I took the seat anyway because I would be able to see Nicole better from it. I saw a bunch of guys come and stand by the altar in tuxes. They must be getting ready to start. When the music started, everyone turned around to face the back of the church.

  Nicole was the third girl to come out, and my dick got hard just seeing her all dressed up. She had this pink dress on that hugged the curves of her tits just right; it clung to her waist and stopped just above her knees. Her hair was down and curly the way that I loved it. Is it a sin to have a hard on in church? It would probably be more of a sin if I pulled her into one of the confessionals right now and…all of a sudden the music stopped and everyone stood up.

  Shit! I can’t stand up right now and let everyone see what that girl does to me. I heard someone clear their throat behind me and when I looked over, Nic was looking at me. She lifted her head up to tell me I should be standing. Alright, if she says so. When I stood up, she started to giggle and I turned to her and gave her a look to let her know what would happen the first second we were alone. When I did that, I saw a blush creep up her cheeks and she winked at me. She drives me crazy.

  The bride came down the aisle, but I couldn’t look away from my girl. I also couldn’t believe how much I enjoyed calling her that. I have been saying it more and more these days; it made me proud to know that she was mine. I never got that before now. I would always hear guys talking about their girls, and would just think to myself that they sounded like idiots. The only things I ever associated with relationships were drama, clingy girls, and boring sex. I can safely say that none of that was going on with us, though.

  I got lost in my thoughts of Nicole and, before I knew it, everyone around me was clapping. When I looked up to the altar, the bride and groom were kissing. Did I really just zone out for the entire ceremony? When they walked down the aisle, the girls and guys started to follow. When it was Nicole’s turn and I saw the guy loop his arm through hers, I couldn’t control the low groan that came out.

  Nic had told me they needed to do pictures after and that she would meet me at the hotel the reception was at. Most people went in to the room and started to eat appetizers, but I wasn’t moving from the front of the hotel until she got there. Not only was I excited to see her, but I needed to make sure that Mr. Suit and Tie kept his hands to himself. At this point, it had been over an hour. I was just about to call her when a limo pulled up outside of the hotel.

  People started to file out, and then I saw her. She was so fucking gorgeous. She looked up and smiled when she saw me. I can’t help but to smile back at her, until Mr. Suit and Tie comes out right behind her. I start walking over to her just as he is reaching out to grab her hand. I wrap my arms around her and pull her to me. “Sorry, buddy, this one is taken.” I leaned down and kissed her just to make sure he got my point.r />
  I could tell that he didn’t expect her to have someone here, but he will just need to get over it. “Hey, babe! I thought you would be inside.”

  “I wanted to wait for you. Come on, let’s go.” I started to walk into the hotel and she grabs my hand and pulls me to a stop.

  “J, wait, I can’t go in with you.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m a bridesmaid; the DJ introduces all the bridesmaids and groomsmen before he introduces the bride and groom. You should go in before me though, and I will come sit with you.”

  I really didn’t want to leave her with the idiot that was trying to get in her pants, but she wasn’t giving me a choice. I bent down to kiss her again. “Alright, I’ll see you in a couple minutes.”

  I went to sit at the table and saw that the card next to my seat had Nicole’s name on it. Thank God we were sitting together at least. The DJ started to play music and introduce people one by one. The first two couples were doing funny walks and things like that, causing everyone to laugh. When he said Nicole’s name, I saw her walk out with the douche from earlier. They walked out holding hands and, when they got to the middle of the dance floor, he spun her a couple times and then dipped her low. If he moved his face closer to her, even if it was just an inch, I was going to get out of this chair and kill him.

  As promised, Nicole walked over and sat down next to me, but I caught her before she could sit and pulled her onto my lap. She looked back at me and smiled. My heart rate started to even out, now that she was with me. When I looked over at lover boy, I gave him a smirk, making sure that he knew she was mine. The bride and groom did their first dance, then the DJ called the bridesmaids and groomsmen back out to the dance floor for the bridal party dance. Nicole got up and I started to follow her.

  “Jason, wait, this is like my last thing I have to do tonight, but you can’t come.”