To a Macallister Born

by Joan Elliott Pickart

  “’Kay.” Joey sighed. “I guess.”

  Jennifer shifted her gaze to Jack. “Are you planning on having dinner at Hamilton House this evening?” she asked.

  “No, Andrea wants Mexican food, says she’s craving hot sauce, or whatever.”

  “Oh.” For Pete’s sake, she admonished herself. She’d felt it, the wave of disappointment that she wouldn’t see Jack during the hours she’d be on duty in the dining room at the hotel. What a ridiculous, adolescent reaction.

  “There are some great Mexican restaurants in town,” she said. “I’m sure you’ll have a delicious meal.” She paused. “Well, see you in the morning.”

  “Right.” Jack didn’t move.

  “Goodbye,” Jennifer said.

  “Right.” He still didn’t move.

  “Jack?” she said.

  “Oh! Yeah, right. Have a nice evening. See ya tomorrow, Joey.”

  “’Bye, Jack,” Joey said.

  Jack left the house and strode down the walk to his vehicle, parked at the curb. He got in and drove away, forcing himself not to look back at the house before it disappeared from his view.

  He hadn’t wanted to leave, he thought incredulously. It was as though his feet had suddenly become cemented to Jennifer’s living room floor, making it impossible for him to walk out the door.

  He didn’t want to have dinner with Brandon and Andrea; he wanted to spend the evening at Jennifer’s with her and Joey. They’d eat, clean the kitchen, play a board game or something, with Joey in front of a warm, welcoming fire in the hearth, then…

  Ah, yes, then Joey would be put to bed and the remaining hours of the night would belong to Jack and Jennifer. He’d gather her into his arms and kiss her until they couldn’t breathe. He’d see her incredible green eyes take on a smoky hue as her desire for him grew, along with his for her. Then they’d…

  “Shut up, MacAllister,” he said gruffly. “Just shut the hell up.” He paused. “And remember that you’re not allowed to say ‘hell’ in Jennifer’s house.”

  What a stupid scenario he’d just whipped up. Jennifer was on her way to work at Hamilton House. If he’d hung around, he would have ended up spending the hours with Joey, and watching Grandma Clark knit, or crochet or whatever, until she toted the kid to her house to put him to bed.

  Man, he was losing it.

  The MacAllister clan was in for a big surprise. When he arrived in California for the family reunion, they’d all discover that poor Jack was totally bonkers. They’d ship him off to the funny farm, never to be heard from again.

  “That’s where I’m headed, all right,” he said, smacking the steering wheel with the heel of one hand. “Right over the edge of sanity.”

  Jennifer smiled as she waved good-night to the clerk behind the reservation desk, then slowed her step as she crossed the lobby of the hotel. She made a production out of buttoning her coat as she went, enabling her to slide glances at the high-back chairs to see if Jack was going to materialize and offer to walk her home.

  As she fiddled with the last button, she finally accepted that he was nowhere to be seen. With a sigh, she left the hotel, admitting reluctantly the emotional letdown she was registering over Jack’s absence.

  She’d been disappointed when she learned Jack wouldn’t be eating dinner in the dining room that evening. Now she was rapidly getting a full-blown case of the blues because he hadn’t stayed up late to escort her home.

  She was sinking below adolescent behavior. At the rate she was going, she would end up pitching a screaming fit like Joey did on occasion when things didn’t go the way he’d decided they should.

  “Oh, me. Oh, my,” she said aloud as she trudged along the sidewalk. Her life was suddenly so confusing and complicated. She had established a routine for her and Joey, an existence that varied little from one day to the next.

  Week after week.

  Month after month.

  Year after year.

  It was calm, predictable and…boring? Blah?

  Lonely?

  Well, she certainly hadn’t thought so…until now.

  Until Jack.

  But her mental condition was not entirely Jack’s fault. No, the majority of her unrest was due to her own indecisiveness.

  She’d decide that she was going to go for the sexual gusto with Jack while he was in town, then—blam—she’d get cold feet and vow not to see him again other than in a platonic relationship.

  Jennifer continued to walk, her mind racing.

  It was time to take a stand, to make a choice, then stick to it, before she worked herself into a complete nervous breakdown.

  “Yes,” she said decisively, then frowned. The problem was that she had no idea if she was going to take her firm stand on Plan A or Plan B. Darn, her mind was still running in circles as though she were a close relative of the gerbil in Joey’s classroom, racing around in its never-ending exercise wheel.

  “Get a grip, Jennifer,” she muttered. “Get a brain. Get a life.”

  Ah, there was the key word. Life. Her life. The one she was suddenly questioning.

  The mother part of her was filled to overflowing with her beloved Joey. He was her sunshine boy, who continually gave her so much, made her so complete and happy in her maternal role simply by being.

  But the woman?

  The woman wanted Jack.

  With earthy, real, burning desire, she wanted to make love with Jack MacAllister, mesh her body with his, be filled with him, giving, receiving, becoming one entity as they savored the ecstasy of their intimate union.

  Oh, yes, yes, yes, she wanted—

  “Hello, Jennifer.”

  She gasped as she came to a sudden teetering halt in front of the steps to the porch of her house, having walked there by rote, not even realizing that she’d arrived home.

  Jack rose in the shadows beyond the dim light cast by the lamppost at the curb. He had been sitting on the steps and now stood, tall and magnificent.

  Jennifer spoke his name, vaguely aware that it would sound like a greeting, but knowing it was actually the conclusion of her sensuous thought.

  “Jack.”

  “I’m sorry if I startled you,” he said quietly.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I need to talk to you,” he said, his expression unreadable in the nearly total darkness. “I didn’t want to insult your intelligence again by hanging around the hotel and offering to escort you safely home, so I waited for you here.”

  “Oh. What—what did you wish to speak to me about?” Jennifer said.

  “Could we go inside?”

  “Yes. Yes, of course.”

  Jennifer retrieved her key from her purse and hurried past Jack, not looking at him.

  She was flustered, she knew, and admonished herself for her ridiculous thought that she’d somehow conjured Jack up by having admitted how much, how very much, she wanted to make love with him.

  She managed to draw what she hoped was an unnoticed steadying breath as she unlocked the door and entered the house with Jack right behind her.

  Jack moved around her, and as she closed the door and turned to face him, he stepped in front of her, trapping her against the door, his hands on either side of her head. Jennifer’s eyes widened in surprise, and the key and her purse dropped unheeded to the floor.

  The glowing embers of a waning fire in the hearth cast a soft, golden glow over the room. Jack looked directly into Jennifer’s eyes, and her breath caught as she stared into the depths of his eyes, those incredible chocolate fudge sauce eyes.

  “We have to talk,” he said, his voice low, “because if I don’t straighten out this mess called my mind, I’m going to lose what’s left of my sanity.”

  “I—”

  “Hear me out,” he said gruffly. “Please.”

  Jennifer nodded.

  “You can’t deny—or, at least, I hope you won’t—that something is happening between us. One minute, I’m determined to discover what it is. Th
e next, I have doubts about that being a smart thing to do. I bring my past into the present and decide to put a lot of distance between us before…but then I see you and I can’t bring myself to do that. See? I’m going nuts.”

  “So am I,” Jennifer said softly.

  “What?”

  “I want to run as far away from you as possible, Jack. I want to run into your arms. You terrify me because you’re awakening a part of me that I vowed would stay asleep forever. Yet you excite me because you make me feel so vitally alive and womanly…I’m going crazy, too, and I can’t go on like this. I just can’t.”

  “I’ll be damned.”

  “You can’t swear in this house,” Jennifer said, trying to produce a smile that failed to materialize.

  “Sorry. Then we agree that we need to agree? What I mean is, we have to reach a decision about this situation that is acceptable to both of us?”

  “Yes,” she said. “Could we sit down?”

  “In a minute. I’m thinking.”

  “I need to think, too, but I can’t do that when you’re so…so close to me because…Well, I just can’t. This isn’t fair, Jack. This conversation calls for clear and level heads.”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  Jack brushed his lips over Jennifer’s, then stepped back to allow her to move away from the door.

  Jennifer retrieved her keys and purse from the floor, removed her coat and set everything on the back of the sofa. She waited until Jack had chosen to sit in one of the chairs by the hearth, then sat opposite him in another, the fireplace separating them.

  “I should turn on a lamp,” she said, starting to rise again.

  “No, don’t,” Jack said. “I’ll put another log on the fire.”

  The fresh log Jack put in place crackled, then caught fire. Both Jennifer and Jack stared into the hypnotizing flames, each lost in jumbled thoughts.

  Jennifer shifted her eyes to sweep her gaze over the room, realizing that because of the brighter light in the hearth, the space beyond where she and Jack sat was now completely dark.

  It was as though it wasn’t there, she thought. All that existed was the glowing circle encasing the two of them in a golden hue. There was nothing beyond this space. Nothing. And for some unknown reason, there was a rightness about that—a peaceful sense of how it should be.

  “Jennifer,” Jack said, drawing her from her reverie. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and linking his fingers. “We agree that something is happening between us that is far from ordinary. We also agree that not knowing what to do about it is driving us both nuts.”

  “Yes,” she said softly.

  “Neither of us is interested in a serious, long-term relationship,” Jack went on. “I’ll be leaving Prescott in a month or so, and starting a new life in California. We have a set length of time to be together, if we choose to be.”

  “I’m aware of that.”

  “Since we know all of this is temporary, there’s no way either of us can be hurt if we…well, I don’t mean to sound tacky…but if we go for it.”

  “I understand what you’re saying.”

  “Good. I’m not forgetting about Joey, either,” Jack said. “We’d be sure to remind him that I’m leaving before Christmas. We’ll listen carefully to what he says, be certain that he isn’t fantasizing about me being the groom guy or the daddy bear.”

  “I’m glad you realize that Joey is an intricate part of this—this decision,” Jennifer said, smiling slightly. “That means a great deal to me.”

  “Hey, he’s a terrific kid. I wouldn’t want to do anything to upset him. Not ever.”

  “Thank you, Jack.”

  “Which brings us back to square one—the two of us.” Jack sank back in the chair and dragged a hand through his hair. “I’m so afraid that I’ll present this in such a way that it will come across as sordid to you, when I know it wouldn’t be. It truly wouldn’t.”

  He stared up at the ceiling for a long moment, then met Jennifer’s gaze again. “Okay, here goes,” he said, then drew a steadying breath. “Jennifer, I want you. I want to make love with you. Holding you, kissing you, is heaven itself, but I want more. I ache for you, Jennifer.”

  “I—”

  “It’s not lust, it’s desire,” Jack rushed on. “Plus, I enjoy being with you. You’re complicated as hell—oh, sorry—as heck, but you’re fascinating, too, and fun, upbeat, and, heaven knows, you’re beautiful.”

  He smiled. “Actually, it was your Big Bird slippers that tipped me over the edge.” His smile faded. “Am I making sense?”

  “I—”

  “During the weeks I have left here in Prescott, we could share so much,” he said, as though she hadn’t spoken. “All kinds of things. And during those weeks we’d be lovers, too. Then, when it’s time for me to go, we’ll each have memories. We won’t be emotionally hurt by this, because we’re being up front and honest about how things stand.”

  “I—”

  “There you have it. I desire you more than any woman I’ve ever met. I’ve presented my case.” Jack frowned. “I sure wish you’d talk to me, for crying out loud.”

  Get a life, Jennifer told herself. Feel beautiful, special, cherished and desired.

  Awaken your essence for a few weeks, then put it back to sleep gently when time runs out.

  No tears. No heartache. No pain.

  Just lovely memories to relive in quiet moments when she was once again alone.

  “Jennifer?” Jack said. “Say something. Please.”

  And so, she did.

  With a soft smile on her lips and an inner sense of being incredibly and wondrously alive, Jennifer spoke.

  She said one word that she knew would change everything. She would never be quite the same again.

  She said it with conviction, while trepidation hovered around the edges of her resolve.

  She said it with courage that held a hint of fear.

  She gazed directly into Jack MacAllister’s mesmerizing eyes and said, “Yes.”

  Chapter Eight

  Relief, joy, excitement and desire tumbled through Jack with such force that he was unable to sit still for one second longer.

  He got to his feet at the same moment that Jennifer did, and they each moved forward to meet in front of the blazing fire.

  Jack framed Jennifer’s face in his hands and studied her intently. “Are you sure about this?” he said. “It’s so very important that you’re absolutely certain this is right for you.”

  “Oh, heavens,” she said, smiling. “Reaching this decision was difficult enough without reexamining it under an emotional microscope.”

  “But—”

  “Shh. No, don’t.” Jennifer’s smile disappeared. “Jack, these weeks together will be like a gift I’m giving to myself, maybe selfishly so, but I intend to have this time with you. When it’s over, when you leave, I’ll be fine because I know this is temporary. It’s perfect, really, because I’m not willing to commit myself to a permanent relationship.”

  “I couldn’t have said it better myself,” Jack said. “We’re in complete agreement.”

  Jennifer nodded.

  “Good,” he said, lowering his head toward hers. “That’s good.”

  Jack captured Jennifer’s mouth in a searing kiss, parting her lips and finding her tongue with his own. He dropped his hands from her face to encircle her body with his arms, and she melted into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck.

  He raised his head a fraction of an inch to draw a quick breath, then slanted his mouth in the opposite direction as he claimed her lips once again.

  The heat of desire burned within them. They were on fire, the want and need of each other consuming them.

  They didn’t think, didn’t need to think, about the decision they’d made—not anymore. The turmoil of confusion was gone. They were free to just feel, savor, anticipate what was yet to come.

  Jack broke the kiss, then murmured close to Jennifer’s lips. “I w
ant you, Jennifer, so damn much.”

  “Yes,” she whispered. “I want you, too, Jack.”

  “Make love with me…here…by the fire.”

  “Yes.”

  They stepped back to allow room to shed their clothes, hurrying, the distance between them too great. Then they were naked, each standing still, allowing the other to visually trace every inch of what was within their view, what would be theirs.

  “You’re so lovely,” Jack said, his voice raspy, “so beautiful.”

  “You’re magnificent,” Jennifer said.

  Jack shook his head slightly to clear the sensual mist consuming his mind. “Wait,” he said. “I want to protect you.”

  He fumbled with his jeans that lay on the floor and found his wallet, aware that his hands were trembling as he retrieved the foil packet. He returned as quickly as possible to Jennifer and drew her into his arms, kissing her deeply.

  They sank onto the carpet in front of the crackling fire, stretching out next to each other. For a long, heart-stopping moment, they gazed into each other’s eyes.

  Then Jack lowered his head to claim Jennifer’s mouth as he splayed one hand on her stomach, his weight supported on his other forearm.

  He moved from her lips to one of her breasts, drawing the soft flesh into his mouth, laving the nipple with his tongue. Jennifer closed her eyes with a sigh of pure pleasure as sensuous sensations swept through her.

  They kissed, caressed, explored, discovered the mysteries of each other, rejoiced in what was revealed to them. Lips followed where hands had traveled…and passions soared.

  They were in a world that was only as big as the golden circle of light from the fire; a private world—their world—where no one else was granted entry. It was ecstasy far beyond what either had ever known before.

  “Jack, please,” Jennifer said finally. “I need…please.”

  “Yes.”

  He moved over her and into her, slowly, watching her face for any hint of pain, knowing instinctively that it had been many years since her body had been filled with the very essence of a man.

  Jennifer smiled. It was a soft, gentle, womanly smile…and Jack was lost. He thrust into her, bringing to her all that he was, and she received him in the moist heat of her femininity.