To a Macallister Born

by Joan Elliott Pickart

  Wait…while she hoped and prayed that he’d ask her to be his wife. Then, and only then, would she tell him about this baby.

  Jennifer stiffened as she heard the sound of the front door, accompanied by Joey’s chatter. She got to her feet, produced what she felt was a passable smile and went into the living room.

  “I buyed your Christmas present, Mom,” Joey said, jumping up and down. “It’s wrapped and everything. You can’t peek at it, either.”

  “Oh, it’s beautiful,” Jennifer said, smiling. “Why don’t you put it under the tree?” She looked at Jack, who was shrugging out of his jacket. “You survived shopping with Joey, I see.”

  Jack tossed his jacket onto a chair, then turned to look at Jennifer, a frown on his face. “Yeah, it was fun,” he said. “Joey has champagne tastes on a beer budget, though.” He paused. “We bumped into a woman named Deborah while we were in one of the stores. She recognized Joey and asked me to give you a message.”

  “Oh?”

  “She said you knew she’d been called out of town on a family emergency, but she had just gotten back and hoped to show your house to prospective buyers very soon.”

  Jennifer shrugged. “Okay. That explains why I haven’t heard from her. Thank you for telling me. Why don’t you two gentlemen wash up, because I have a casserole in the oven for dinner and it should be ready in about five minutes.”

  “’Kay,” Joey said, running from the room.

  Jack walked slowly toward Jennifer, his frown still firmly in place. “You didn’t tell me that you’d definitely decided to sell this house,” he said, sweeping one arm through the air as he stopped in front of her.

  “I didn’t?” Jennifer said, matching his frown. “I thought I’d mentioned it. I made up my mind right after Thanksgiving, but you were in Phoenix and…Oh, well, nothing has happened about it because Deborah was called away. But she’s back now so…” She shrugged again.

  “You’re awfully casual about such a major decision in your life, Jennifer. If you sell this house, you’ll need a new place to live.”

  “Well, yes, that’s generally how it goes, but to tell you the truth, I’ve been so busy I haven’t given the whole subject much thought.”

  “To tell me the truth,” Jack said, his frown deepening. “Interesting premise. Damn it, Jennifer, don’t you think I had the right to know that you intended to sell your home and start over somewhere else? Just where do you believe that somewhere will be?”

  “I don’t have a clue,” she said, planting her hands on her hips. “Nor do I have the slightest idea what you’re pitching a fit about. I’m obviously missing something here. Would you care to enlighten me, Mr. MacAllister?”

  “Washed my hands,” Joey said, racing back into the living room. “I’m hungry. Can we eat now?”

  “Yes, of course.” Jennifer shot a glare at Jack before directing her attention to her son. “You can help me set the table while Jack washes his hands.” She spun around and headed for the kitchen. “Come on, Joey.”

  He was definitely losing it, Jack thought as he walked slowly down the hallway to the bathroom. He’d felt his tension building as each day went by, bringing him closer and closer to the time he was scheduled to leave for California. There was a knot in his gut that kept coiling more and more tightly.

  In the bathroom, Jack scrubbed his hands, dried them, then studied his reflection in the mirror mounted above the sink. It wouldn’t have surprised him to see that he’d grown a couple more heads, each containing a brain that was focused on a different subject.

  One part of him was in heaven. Being with Jennifer, knowing she loved him as he loved her, was fantastic, out of this world. During the past weeks they’d operated as a family—Jennifer, Jack and Joey. Mommy bear, daddy bear and baby bear. Perfect. He was so content and happy in his roles that his feelings defied description.

  But there was another part of him that felt like a ticking bomb that was counting down the days, hours, minutes, seconds until he had to gather his shaky courage and ask Jennifer to marry him. He wanted her and Joey to leave Prescott, come to California with him, be part of the new life he would start there.

  What if Jennifer refused his proposal? What if she said no? What if she smashed his heart to smithereens and sentenced him to a bleak, empty, lonely existence without her?

  And then there was the third brain, the ugly one that refused to completely disappear. It had a voice, that brain, that taunted him, told him not to let down his guard like a fool, but to be on alert for the possibility that Jennifer did, indeed, have a secret agenda.

  It had been that part of his mind that had reacted to the previously unknown news that Jennifer had decided weeks ago to sell this house.

  Why hadn’t she told him? Was she envisioning a huge new home on the coast, with him picking up the tab? Was she breathing a sigh of relief that her days of standing on her feet for long hours as the manager of the dining room at Hamilton House would soon be over if she became a lady of leisure at his expense?

  “Damn,” Jack said aloud, dragging both hands down his face. How could he even entertain such rotten thoughts about the woman he loved? The woman he knew was real and honest. The woman he trusted and believed in.

  He’d been so sure that he’d put his past behind him, just as Jennifer had, but there was a dark shadow left within him that still claimed a part of his soul.

  “What are you going to do, MacAllister?” he said, leaning toward the mirror. “Walk out of her life, or ask her to go with you?”

  Jack left the small room and headed for the kitchen, his thoughts tumbling one into the next, creating a jumbled maze of confusion.

  He loved Jennifer Mackane and intended to spend the rest of his life with her.

  But why hadn’t she told him she’d put her house on the market?

  Jennifer believed in him, trusted him with her heart—the very essence of herself—and with her precious son.

  Or was the total abandonment of her lovemaking and her urging him to spend time with Joey part of a master plan to snag herself a financially secure husband and a devoted father for Joey?

  Ah, hell, he couldn’t go on like this. Not only was he running out of time on the calendar, he was slowly but surely losing his sanity, as well.

  Tonight. Yes, tonight after Joey was asleep, he was going to have a serious discussion with Jennifer. Tonight, decisions would be made that would determine the course of their futures. This was the night.

  Jack entered the kitchen to find Jennifer talking on the telephone and Joey hopping up and down like a pogo stick beside her, a big smile on his face.

  “All right,” Jennifer said into the receiver. “Forty-five minutes. I’ll try to get some dinner into him before you pick him up. ’Bye.”

  Jennifer replaced the receiver and looked at Joey. “Halt,” she said. “Sit. Eat.”

  “’Kay,” Joey said, then ran to the table and slid onto his chair.

  “What’s going on?” Jack said.

  “That was Sammy’s mother on the phone,” Jennifer said, not looking directly at Jack. “The families on their block are going Christmas caroling, and they invited Joey to go, then spend the night with Sammy.”

  “Oh,” Jack said, nodding.

  “Hurry, hurry,” Joey said. “I gotta eat and pack my stuff.”

  “We’ll have to bundle you up good,” Jennifer said. “It’s starting to snow outside. Isn’t that fun, Joey? Singing Christmas carols in the snow.”

  “Neat-o,” Joey yelled. “Cool.”

  “Cold,” Jennifer said. “You keep your mittens on, young man.”

  “’Kay.”

  They consumed the meal hastily, then Jennifer left the kitchen with Joey to help him pack for the sleep-over and to put on the layers of clothes for the outing.

  Jack began to clear the table. As he scraped the food from a plate into the trash, he frowned as he saw that the liner in the basket was full. He pulled it free, tied a knot in the top and headed o
ut the back door, flipping on the backyard light as he went.

  The snow was falling in big, wet flakes, turning everything into a winter wonderland.

  As Jack swung the bag up to place it in the large container provided by the city, the bottom of the liner struck the edge and split, spilling trash onto the ground that was becoming rapidly covered with snow.

  “Ah, hell,” he said, hunkering down to scoop up the debris. Then his outstretched hand stilled and his heart began to race in a wild cadence. With visibly shaking fingers he picked up the box that announced in bold letters Home Pregnancy Test Kit. He shook the contents onto the ground, looked at the plastic device, then flipped the box over to read the chart on the back.

  “Positive,” he said. “Holy hell, Jennifer…Jennifer is pregnant.”

  A red haze of fury and heartfelt pain assaulted him, making it difficult to breathe. He flung the scattered trash into the container and slammed the lid, his breathing labored, his motions jerky. He cleaned his hands with the freshly fallen snow, then attempted to dry them on his damp jeans.

  Then he turned and stared at the house that suddenly seemed to be miles away, out of his reach, disappearing into oblivion and leaving only the dark, chilling emptiness of betrayal behind.

  You’re a natural-born father, Jack.

  We’re in this together, Jack.

  It’s the wrong time of the month. It’s safe. Don’t leave me. Come to me, Jack. Please.

  You’re a natural-born father…natural-born father…natural-born…

  “No!” Jack said, his voice raspy. “Oh, God, Jennifer, no.”

  Lies. It had all been lies. Jennifer Mackane was like all the others. She’d had a secret agenda the entire time they’d been together, had set out to trap him and—

  The back door of the house was flung open, and Joey poked his head out. “’Bye, Jack,” he said. “I’m going singing in the snow now.”

  “What? Oh, have a great time, sport.”

  “See ya,” Joey said, then slammed the door.

  “See ya,” Jack said quietly.

  He started toward the house, struggling to put one foot in front of the other. He felt drained, and had to tell himself to breathe in, then out.

  He entered the kitchen, vaguely aware that he was tracking wet snow onto the clean floor. He closed the door, leaned against it, then drew a shuddering breath.

  “’Bye,” Jennifer called in the distance. “Have fun. I love you, Joey.”

  Jennifer was smiling when she returned to the kitchen, but frowned when she looked at Jack. “My goodness,” she said, “you’re all wet. What have you been doing?”

  “I—I took out the trash,” Jack said quietly.

  “Oh. Well, thank you. Why don’t you go in by the fire and dry off? I’ll take care of this mess from dinner and join you in a few minutes. You might catch a cold if you stand around in those damp clothes.”

  “Once a mother, always a mother,” Jack said gruffly, starting across the room. “Right, Jennifer?”

  “I…” she said.

  “I’ll be in the living room.”

  Jennifer watched Jack disappear from view, then began to clean the kitchen. Jack was still acting strangely, she thought. Was he brooding about her not telling him she’d decided to sell her house? Why was he making such a big deal out of something she’d simply forgotten to mention?

  Maybe she was reading too much into Jack’s behavior. He was cold and damp at the moment and was probably grumpy because of it. She was so jangled , due to discovering that she was pregnant, that she wasn’t capable of thinking clearly. Yes, that was it. She was the one who was upset—not Jack.

  When she joined him in the living room, he’d be his usual chipper self. And she’d tell him that they needed to have a very serious discussion.

  What she would not tell him was that she was carrying his baby—unless he first asked her to marry him.

  What transpired with Jack this evening would determine her entire future.

  When the kitchen was clean, Jennifer drew a steadying breath, then went into the living room. Jack was standing in front of the fireplace, staring at the leaping flames. She settled onto the end cushion of the sofa, then splayed one hand on her stomach for a moment.

  “Jack,” she said, “we need to talk.”

  He turned slowly toward her, a closed expression on his face.

  “Yes,” he said, nodding, “we do. Go ahead. I’m listening.”

  “Well, time is running out,” Jennifer said, clasping her hands in her lap. “There’s only a week or so left before you’ll be leaving for California.”

  “Yep,” he said, folding his arms over his chest. “I’ve promised everyone that I’ll be there for Christmas, for the reunion.”

  “Yes, I know.” Jennifer paused. “Jack, these weeks we’ve had together have been wonderful. We agreed not to discuss the future, but the days are passing so quickly that the future is becoming the present.”

  “Mmm,” Jack said, nodding.

  “You’re scheduled to leave, and I need to know what you’re thinking about us, about…” Jennifer threw up her hands and sighed.

  “At the risk of sounding like Aunt Prudence,” Jack said, “you want to know if I have honorable intentions regarding you. Right?”

  “That’s one way to put it, I guess,” Jennifer said, frowning slightly.

  “Isn’t there something you need to tell me at this point, Jennifer?” Jack said, narrowing his eyes.

  “No,” she said slowly. “Only that I love you very much.”

  “Damn it, Jennifer,” Jack yelled, shifting his hands to his hips, “knock it off, would you? Enough is enough. I know what your agenda is, so give the game-playing a rest.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jennifer said, getting to her feet. “Why are you so angry? Why are you shouting at me?”

  “You heard me say that I took out the trash. Didn’t it occur to you that my clothes and hair were awfully wet for a quick run to the trash container and back?”

  “I—”

  “The bag broke, spilling trash into the snow,” Jack said, his volume still on high. “I picked up the junk—and guess what I found? A handy-dandy, home pregnancy test kit with a plastic deal that was still registering the big news.”

  “Oh, dear heaven.” Jennifer sank back onto the sofa as her knees began to tremble.

  Jack strode forward and braced one hand on the arm of the sofa, the other on the top, trapping Jennifer in place. She leaned back instinctively as Jack loomed above her, a muscle ticking in his jaw.

  “When did you plan to tell me that you’re pregnant with my baby?” he said, his voice low and harsh. “Were you holding your trump card until you found out if I intended to ask you to marry me? And if I’d said, ‘Well, it’s been a helluva fine time, sweetheart, but I’m outta here,’ were you going to whip your newsflash on me? Push my buttons, yank my strings like I was a marionette? Try to force me to marry you? When, Jennifer? When did you plan to inform me that you’re carrying my baby?”

  Jennifer flattened her hands on Jack’s chest and shoved him away. He straightened, and she scrambled to her feet, immediately spinning around to face him, her green eyes flashing.

  “I wasn’t going to tell you at all,” she said, nearly yelling, “unless you asked me to marry you. I had no intention of doing what you’re accusing me of doing.”

  “Yeah, right,” he said, his voice ringing with bitterness. “You put your house up for sale so you’d be ready, footloose and fancy-free when it came time to go to California with me. Ah, yes, me, the ‘natural-born father’ of the century. You’ve been sliding that little zinger in every chance you got. And if I refused to marry you despite your being pregnant? Well, hey, just go to plan B. Hire a sharp attorney and soak me for every dime you could get in child support.”

  “No!” Jennifer said, shaking her head. “If you didn’t love me enough to want me to be your wife, to stay by your side until death pa
rted us, then you would never have known about this child. It would be my baby. Mine. Just as Joey is mine with no connection to Joe.”

  “Damn it, Jennifer, you’re insulting my intelligence. Oh, that’s a hoot. My intelligence. I was such a fool, just like I’ve been with every woman I’ve ever been involved with. I even fell for your ‘It’s the wrong time of the month for me to get pregnant’ crap. You’re slick, Jennifer, very good. You had me under your spell, knew it, and everything fell right into place for you.”

  “No, Jack, you’re wrong,” Jennifer said, unwelcome tears filling her eyes. “How can you say such horrible things to me? I thought you loved me, believed in me, trusted me, as I did you. You’re betraying my love and trust in your own way, just as Joe did in his. Dear God, Jack, don’t do this to us.”

  “Don’t try to lay a guilt trip on me,” he said. “You’re the one who’s so conveniently pregnant. I’m just the idiot who bought into your phony facade. Well, nice try, lady, but you lose. Oh, you’ll get your child support money, but you’re not snaring me in your matrimony trap.”

  Jack laughed, the sound sharp and humorless. “Want to know the kicker? I’d planned to ask you to marry me. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, but I know now that I wouldn’t have been able to leave for California without you and Joey. Well, forget it, Ms. Mackane. I’m going to the coast alone.”

  “Fine. You do that,” she said, wrapping her hands around her elbows. “Don’t bother to send child support checks, because I’ll tear them up. I don’t want anything from you, Jack MacAllister. Nothing.”

  “You can’t keep my child from me if I decide that I want to be part of his life. That decision will be mine—not yours. I’ll make that clear to your attorney when I’m contacted about how much I’m to shell out to you every month.”

  “Stop it!” Jennifer shrieked, shaking her head. “You’re destroying everything we’ve had together.” Tears spilled onto her cheeks. “You’re not even leaving me the memories I thought I could cherish. I trusted you, Jack, believed in you and, equally important, I believed that you trusted me. I—” A sob caught in Jennifer’s throat, choking off her words.