Resolution (Heart of Stone)

by D H Sidebottom

  The now slightly crooked nose that seemed just perfect for his stunning looks and the way his long, soft dark eyelashes flickered against his lightly scarred skin; he was pure unadulterated godliness full of sin and delicious wickedness and I loved him more than life itself but there was something that prickled beneath the surface of my skin, an itch in my brain and a shiver in my bones that I couldn’t shake off and I shuddered beside him.

  He moaned and his arm enveloped me and pulled my into him, his wonderful spicy muskiness assaulted my nostrils and I breathed in deep lungful’s of him, calming me instantly and I frowned at my reservations.

  What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I suddenly having these unwanted doubts? I couldn’t bear to be apart from him; I craved him constantly, my body shutting down without him as my lungs refused to inhale so these thoughts were completely baffling me.

  I closed my eyes, trying to drift back to sleep but within another thirty minutes my brain was still in overload and I flung the duvet back, pulled on my shorts and vest and went in search of coffee.

  CHAPTER 23

  “Hey” I said quietly to Neo as I entered the kitchen, not wanting to startle him.

  He looked up from his iPad and grinned, “Hey, can’t sleep?” I shook my head and held up a mug. He nodded and carried on furiously typing.

  I brewed the coffee and pulled out ingredients for a chocolate cake, the need to bake and obliterate my thoughts.

  As I weighed and whisked and stirred I felt Neo appear behind me. “You okay?” he asked and I just nodded but didn’t speak. “You sure?” he persisted and I nodded again.

  I slapped his hand away as his finger scooped into the batter and he chuckled, “Damn you make good cake mixture.” Another finger dipped and I spun round, brandishing the gloopy wooden spoon as a weapon, “One more move and your nose gets it” I warned playfully.

  He grinned cheekily, his eyes lighting up with mischief as he took a step closer to the bowl. “Bring it on” he laughed as he swiftly gouged a huge portion of mixture and darted round the table, me hot on his trail trying to smack him with the spoon. “Not fast enough, Darling” he chuckled as we rounded the table on each other.

  I narrowed my eyes on him and pursed my lips as I leaped onto the chair, onto the table and off the other end as he hot footed it into the lounge.

  We were both laughing hysterically as he shot behind the sofa, me closely behind him and then back towards the door as I hurdled over the couch to catch up.

  I was giggling wildly as I skidded barefoot across the hardwood floor in the entrance hall and slammed straight into a stony faced Mason. “Shit” I squealed when I realised I couldn’t catch up with Neo now. “Hey baby” I laughed, “get him” I chuckled to Mason as I headed off towards Neo again.

  I slammed back against Mason as he grabbed the back of my vest and the spoon skittered out of my hand and onto the floor. “HA!” Neo declared victorious and I narrowed my eyes on him.

  “You made me lose” I scolded Mason who had still to utter a single word. I saw Neo’s wary expression and I furrowed my brow and looked over my shoulder to Mason.

  His face was dark and surly as his eyes bore coldly into Neo. “Mason?” I asked apprehensively and he slowly lowered his eyes to mine.

  “What are you doing?” he demanded slowly and quietly.

  “Well…” I gulped. “I’m sorry, did we wake you?” I asked, knowing that wasn’t the problem.

  He glared at me and I lowered my eyes from the anger blazing through his. “Why are you chasing Neo around the house in your fucking pyjamas?” he hissed and I flinched.

  “I couldn’t sleep so I… I was baking and he… he kept pinching the mixture from the…” I trailed off when Mason cocked an eyebrow at me.

  “In your pyjamas?” he repeated and I nodded faintly.

  “My fault” Neo defended as he walked over to us. Mason’s head slid round deliberately to regard Neo and he tipped his head with a sinister expression on his face.

  Neo stepped back and raised his hands. “Hey, didn’t mean to cause offence, I was just trying to cheer Ava up, she looked a bit down” he confessed and I suddenly felt angry at Mason’s unreasonable treatment to Neo.

  “Mason” I said firmly and he looked back at me, his eyes cold and hard and I narrowed my eyes on him, a horrible thought spearing my brain and I gasped as I saw his nose twitch. “Fuck” I hissed as I bit my lip harshly.

  I saw his Adam’s apple bob as he gulped.

  “Well that lasted long!” I seethed angrily. I could see Neo’s head switching between the two of us as my fury slowly rose and I clenched my fists as I took some deep steady breaths.

  “Where is it?” I asked through clenched teeth. His eyes widened when he realised I knew and he nibbled furiously on his bottom lip. “I said where is it?” I repeated icily but he stood stock still and silent.

  I was now struggling to contain my wrath as my lungs were filling too rigorously with each deep inhalation. “Tell me” I demanded quietly but he still stood immobile.

  “THERE ARE FUCKING CHILDREN IN THIS HOUSE! NOW FUCKING TELL ME!!!” I roared and he flinched and closed his eyes. “One more chance Mason, the coke leaves or you do” I ordered and he frowned, his internal struggle obvious across his features.

  I struck my palm across his cheek, slapping him hard, “You bastard! Get the fuck out” I yelled.

  He blinked, suddenly aware of what was happening. He shook his head at me rapidly. “Baby, no!” he pleaded and I shook my head in desolation and dejection.

  “Get the fuck out and go get high Mason because right fucking now I don’t give a fucking shit.”

  I pushed past him and charged up the stairs, silently begging him not to follow but hoping he didn’t leave.

  I sagged wearily on the landing as I heard the front door slam shut. Pulling my knees up I hugged them, resting my head hopelessly on the top of them.

  I heard and felt Neo slide down beside me. “He’s gone” he said quietly and I nodded. “How long’s he been snorting?” he asked calmly.

  “A while but it’s got worse ever since Dane and he doesn’t seem to be able to control it anymore” I divulged.

  He sighed deeply. “He needs rehab, Ava.”

  I scoffed at his words. “I’ve tried that Neo but he refused to go, saying he just needs me to get him through but I know I can’t give him the support he needs.”

  I slammed my fist on the floor. “God damn it!” I cried, “Twelve fucking hours… twelve bloody hours, that’s how long he lasted” I shouted, my anger now at a dangerous level.

  I stood up furiously and went in search of my phone; dialling Sam when I found it, “Hey Girl” his cheerful voice greeted.

  “Sam!” I barked and I could hear his cringe even if I couldn’t see it. “He’s fucking tanked up and I’m hoping he’s on his way to you. Can you text me if he turns up there?”

  He sighed heavily. “Sure Darling. You okay Ava?” he asked despondently and I snorted.

  “No but fuck him. He’s got fucking coke hidden somewhere near his fucking babies!” I yelled.

  Sam sighed. “I’ll get Greg and the boys over to search” he stated and I sighed.

  “Thanks. I don’t want it in the house!” I snapped, “Not near George and Katie.”

  I could sense his frustration, the feeling of hopelessness and desolation that matched my own. “I know girl, I know” he breathed. “They’ll be over in about an hour” he said quietly and I nodded, aware that he couldn’t see me.

  “Thanks Sam” I whispered before I ended the call.

  ***

  Two and a half hours later I was sat at the kitchen table with Greg staring at three full bags of coke and a bag of some small white pills.

  I ran my hands through my hair in frustration.

  “Chin up, sweetheart” Greg sighed as he walked to the freezer and removed a bottle of vodka and taking two glass tumblers from the cupboard, proceeded to pour us a shot. I smiled grat
efully and downed it in one; he filled it again and placed the bottle on the table. “Let’s get slaughtered, Courtney’s watching George and Katie” he inhaled sharply, drained his glass and refilled us both again.

  “He needs help, Ava.”

  I exhaled sharply. “Try telling him that” I scoffed as I took another large mouthful and then sighed and straightened my shoulders. “It’s either an ultimatum or a locked room” I deliberated and then turned to Greg for his opinion.

  He frowned and pursed his lips in consideration. “Could you cope with a withdrawing Mason? He’s damn tenacious and unstable when he’s not high so he’ll be a fucking nightmare doing cold turkey” he posed, “but even giving him an ultimatum won’t work because he will never stay away from you.”

  I nodded, agreeing with him completely. “Then what the fuck do I do?” I asked as my phone alerted a message

  SAM

  He’s just turned up here, don’t worry, I’ll keep my eye on him x

  ME

  How is he? The truth please x

  SAM

  High, very high!!! X

  ME

  You gonna be okay with him or do you need me to come over? X

  SAM

  I’ll sort him sweetheart, try and get some sleep. I’ll ring you if I need you x

  ME

  Okay, thanks Sam x

  I rolled my head round my shoulders and downed another full glass of the mind numbing nectar. “He’s just turned up at the club shitfaced” I told Greg who groaned loudly. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I declared angrily as I filled my glass, the alcohol starting to blur my senses.

  Courtney walked into the kitchen and side hugged me as a guy I hadn’t seen before approached Greg. “Can I have a word?” he asked Greg who nodded and they left the room together.

  “How many are up there?” I asked, she lifted her brows and puffed out.

  “About eight. You okay, babe?”

  She filled the percolator and switched it on and got a collection of cups out of the dishwasher. I nodded “You okay staying over and listening for the peanuts?” I asked as I gulped another swill of vodka. She nodded as she placed sugar and milk on a tray with the cups and coffee and disappeared back up to the coke hunters as a grim Greg returned.

  He threw four more brownish bags on the table. “Fuck! More?” I asked shaking my head in disgust.

  Greg slumped down beside me and held his head in his hands before looking back up at me sadly. “It’s heroin, Ava” he closed his eyes with a heavy sigh.

  I paused at the sensation of dread that filled every piece of my exhausted body. “WHAT? Fuck, fuck!” I groaned and rubbed my face with my hands.

  This was real bad news. “Shit” I cursed some more.

  I sighed wearily, stood up and took my glass out onto the decking, inhaling the cold harshness of the frosty air.

  I stared up at the sky. “Give me strength Katie, some of your amazing spirit and courage because right fucking now I’m struggling, Hun.”

  Draining the remainder of my vodka, I placed the glass on the table and walked down the wooden steps that led onto the huge paved patio and then down some rickety steps that led to the lower garden.

  I brushed the foliage and flowers on my way along the path until I reached the small pagoda in one corner of the garden and sat on the bench, stroking my hands along the wooden structure, smiling at the memories of me and Mason making love under the stars one night in the summer.

  A tear spilled free and I wiped it away angrily. “No, damn it” I scolded myself.

  What the hell was I going to do? I hadn’t one single fucking idea and right now I was on the edge of giving up and surrendering our relationship. I couldn’t do this anymore. It wasn’t fair on me, it wasn’t fair on George and Katie and it wasn’t fair of Mason to expect me to tolerate it.

  I thought we had put his demons to rest and I was hopeful for once, but he had taken the bloody stuff again without any reason for it. I had left him asleep for an hour… one fucking hour!

  I could turn one of the guest rooms into a cell and try to get him off it the hard way but could I watch him suffer in pain, sweat and physical torture as he withdrew fast and hard?

  I wasn’t sure but I suppose it was the only option available at the moment. I sighed, braced my knees and stood, taking a deep determined breath and headed back into the house.

  Greg, Courtney and a couple of others were sat at the table. I turned to Greg, “I need help to clear out the garage” I informed him.

  He regarded me. “You sure about this, Ava?” he asked cautiously and I nodded.

  “Yes” I replied bluntly, “The garage is ideal, I can use the utility room as a go-through room so he can’t get out when I unlock the garage door but there’s the toilet and wet room that leads off from the utility to the garage which is perfect for him. I need a mattress and blankets moving in, the TV from the bedroom screwing to the wall high enough so he can’t reach it and I need it connecting to a DVD player outside of the room, a monitor setting up in the utility room that connects to the garage security cameras and a couple of buckets, shit loads of bottles of water and some big mother-fucking bolts” I told him firmly.

  He sucked in his lips and gave me a concerned expression but then nodded and stood up. “You heard her guys” he declared and they all trotted off towards the garage, pulling the cars onto the drive and clearing out any other equipment that had been stored there and following my instructions for the setup of Mason’s home for the next several weeks.

  Courtney had been regarding me silently for the last thirty minutes and I eventually sighed and looked at her. “Please don’t say it Courtney. I love him and I’d do anything for him, even go through cold turkey with him.”

  She swallowed harshly but then nodded and took my hand. “You want me to take the peanuts for a few weeks?” she asked and it was this simple gesture that brought the tears freefalling.

  She crouched in front of me and I leant into her, crying into the top of her head. “I love you, babe” she whispered, “And I’m so proud of you.”

  I palmed her face and kissed her forehead. “And I’m the luckiest person in the world for having you for my best friend” I told her as her own tears slipped free.

  “You can do this, babe” she declared resolutely and I nodded but I knew without a doubt it was going to be the toughest few months of my life.

  I picked up my phone, took a deep breath and rang Sam.

  CHAPTER 24

  “Ava God damn it” he shouted again, banging on the garage door frantically and I groaned and rolled my head around my neck. It had been 12 hours since Mason woke and he was starting to withdraw now.

  I hadn’t been in to see him yet but I could see through the monitor the boys had connected in the utility that he was now getting irate and he was rubbing the muscles in his arms and legs, wincing in pain.

  His legs were jerking involuntary and he was sneezing uncontrollably. The expressions on his face revealed that his mind was going crazy and he hadn’t stopped banging and shouting for attention for the last twelve hours.

  “Are you sure about this Ava?” Elijah asked, his face contorted with worry but I smiled and nodded.

  “Whatever happens do not open the door until I give you my signal. Whether he’s angry or hurts me, until I know I can’t handle him then I’ll let you know” I said as I watched Mason retreat to the other side of the room and I knew I had to open the door before he returned to it.

  I nodded and Elijah unlocked the door, then I stepped inside quickly while he locked it behind me.

  Mason spun round and was on me within five long strides, his hands gripping the tops of my arms harshly as he pinned me against the wall. “What the fuck are you doing, Ava?” he hissed at me.

  “Let me go, Mason” I said calmly but he curled his lip at me.

  “You think this is going to help,, Ava?” he asked nastily “You think I need cold turkey. I’m not addicted to fucking coke” he shou
ted in my face, his spit and hot breath hitting me in the face.

  “No, but you are addicted to heroin” I exposed and he froze, “Yeah I found your stash, Mason.”

  The emotions flying over his face went from horror to guilt to anger and then realisation dawned on his beautiful face. “What have you done with it?” he asked slowly, the lump in his throat bobbing hastily as he winced in pain and rubbed his foot over the back of his legs.

  I could tell he wanted to let me go and rub the rest of his muscles but I was worth more than the pain to him at the moment.

  His nose exploded in a rapid fire of sneezes, one after another in quick succession but he didn’t bother to turn his face and I closed my eyes against the onslaught.

  “Why don’t we get you in the shower, Mason? It’ll help the aches” I offered blandly.

  He screwed up his face in disbelief. “Jesus Ava, I’m not your little project” he spat.

  “I have water in my pocket. You want some?” I asked, figuring the way forward was not to bite to his insults.

  His grip intensified and I had to hold back the grimace at the pain, not wanting to show weakness “Ava, just let me out of here, baby. Honestly, I’m not addicted. You don’t need to do this.” He flinched and I could see the pain he was in reflected in his many different expressions.

  He was starting to tremble and I noticed his nose was streaming. “Mason let’s get some water down you then take a shower” I persisted.

  “I DON’T NEED A FUCKING NURSE. I NEED TO FUCKING SCORE!!!” he yelled at me and I blinked against the closeness of his face.

  He pushed me back against the wall but dropped his hold on me and bent down immediately rubbing his arms in pain. “Fuck!” he hissed under his breath.