by Suzy Shearer
Lynne had tears in her eyes when Kendra told her what happened. The man who should have protected her had stolen her childhood instead. No wonder she felt so soiled.
By the time she was fourteen, she had missed a lot of school and one day a school officer came to the house. Her father was entertaining his mates with her. The officer saw what was happening through a window and immediately called the police. She was taken away and her father arrested along with many of the men. When it went to court, her father was sent to gaol for fifteen years.
She was placed in foster care, given some halfhearted counselling for a few months and went back to school. Realising she was bright, her teachers insisted she apply for a scholarship to university when she was old enough.
She obtained her scholarship and went on to study English literature. By then she found it extremely difficult to mix with people and tended to be regarded as strange, a loner who did not talk to others.
As she got older, she became more reclusive. Once she got her degree, she found work as a proofreader with a large publishing firm. She was renting a small apartment on the other side of the country when she got news her father had died in prison, she was twenty-four years old. As she was his sole survivor, she inherited all his assets.
The house had been sold when he was first arrested and the money held in trust. She was surprised to find herself a relatively wealthy woman. The money enabled her to buy a small house here, at the foot of the mountain, and eventually set up a home-based business, working through the publisher.
Her life was good in her mind. She no longer had to mix with people, she was financially independent, but there was one thing that bothered her. She could not orgasm.
While at university, she had gone out a couple of times but found it difficult to be intimate. On two occasions, she tried to have sex but she could not even get aroused, so not only was there no penetration, there was no chance of having an orgasm.
Even if she tried masturbating, she still could not orgasm. In fact, she could not even get aroused. She watched porn movies, read sexy books, thought sexy thoughts, but her body gave her no reaction. By then she had cut herself off from everyone. She had no contact with people unless she could not avoid it. She became terrified of interacting with others. She started thinking people knew about her past and considered her damaged goods.
Then around six months ago, she heard about The Club. For some reason, in her mind, Kendra thought it would be the one place where she could get aroused. She rang and was told she would need to fill out an application, then she could come one night to visit. She filled out all the paperwork and waited. Finally, she was approved for her one visit. That first time she went to The Club she walked through quickly, not stopping but still astounded by things that people were doing, but even that did not get her aroused.
Still she thought that this would be the one place when she could escape. She had seen people doing things without embarrassment, things that maybe she could do.
Contacting The Club again, she asked if she could be made a member. More forms to fill and a certificate from her doctor showing she had no STDs. She sent them off and waited a few weeks until she was finally approved. Kendra was now a member of The Club.
She decided to try something.
The next time she went, she walked onstage, stripped off her clothes, and masturbated.
Kendra was stunned to discover that not only did she get aroused, she also orgasmed. Part of her mind was ecstatic that she was able to finally climax but the main part of her was horrified that she was back to displaying herself for others. Still, she would sneak into The Club often, perform, and then race away, afraid to talk to anyone, afraid of what they must think of her. They would never want her as a friend.
She was almost addicted to it. It was wonderful to feel her orgasms, but she knew what the people who watched her must think of her. They would know that she was damaged and sick but without them watching her, she would never get aroused and climax. Kendra knew they were like the men her father let watch her. They were the ones who controlled her actions.
So now, it was up to Lynne to convince Kendra that there was nothing wrong with her, that she needed to learn to relax and talk to others. Somehow, she had to convince her people were nice and were not judging her. She also needed to get to reverse her thinking.
Instead of believing the audience was in control and permitting her orgasm, she needed to understand that it was her satisfying herself onstage. In fact, she was leaving the viewers unsatisfied. She had the orgasms, they did not. The power was all hers and they had none. Maybe that would be the way to boost her confidence—she needed to be empowered by her own performance.
She thought she could get the twins on her side without telling them anything about Kendra’s history. They seemed genuinely keen to get to know her, and they promised they would do whatever Lynne asked of them. Maybe they would be her link to making friends, if she laid down rules for them and ensured they stuck to them.
* * * *
Kendra drove home, her mind in turmoil. She actually felt relieved that at last she had told someone all her sordid details. Lynne did not seem to judge her, and she did not blame her. In fact, she had told her that none of it was her fault. She even gave Kendra the impression that she would be able to help her make friends, and that would be wonderful, but would she be able to help her with her sex problem?
She was apprehensive about approaching six people and saying hello. Although Lynne had told her if she spoke with one person at The Club then she would only have to speak with four others outside. She had been thinking of going back to The Club on Sunday evening so maybe that would be the way to go.
When she went to bed that night she turned over all that had happened and for the first time in many years, she slept soundly. When she woke, she hugged Bella, happy that she felt rested. Kendra had promised to take Bella for a long run so she decided she would take her to the local dog park. It was halfway up the mountain. There was a large enclosed flat area with a few benches plus a few walking trails winding through lightly forested areas. If she went early, there would not be many, if any, people there. Dressing quickly, she picked up Bella’s leash and they headed to the car.
The park was about a fifteen-minute drive, and normally Kendra chose the time to go there very carefully so she would be alone. Today was Saturday, so there was a good chance someone else may be using it. She was relieved when she drove in to find the car park was empty. Kendra picked up water bottles for them both and plastic bags just in case. Bella was excited as they locked up the car, giving a bark of happiness as she raced to sit at the gate of the enclosed area.
Kendra followed her and unlocked the gate, laughing as Bella walked all around the enclosed area, sniffing everything. Kendra wandered to the opposite end where another gate led to the various trails, there were a few wooden benches there, alongside a drinking trough, so she sat and watched Bella playing chasings with a butterfly.
When Bella got bored with the insect, she came over to Kendra and had a drink. They sat for about ten minutes and then Kendra hooked on her leash and unlocked the trail gate. Bella was always excited on the trails, Kendra thought the dog was always hoping that some animal would not see or hear her and she could catch it. It was lovely to be out walking. Kendra could put all her fears and worries aside and just relax with her dog.
They had been walking slowly about ten minutes when Bella gave a bark. Kendra stopped and listened. She thought she heard something on the trail ahead so she held Bella back.
Was it an animal or a person?
Just as she was about to turn around and run back toward the car, she remembered what Lynne had said about saying hello to four people. This was a chance. If it was someone with their dog they would be going in the opposite direction, all Kendra had to do was say hello and keep walking.
Feeling nervous but, at the same time, a little brave, she started to walk again. The voices were getting louder. It
was more than one person and by the sound of it, they were running. Even better. They would jog past and she would be home free. Bella was getting excited. She loved meeting other dogs, probably because it was something that rarely happened. The track curved in front of Kendra and Bella’s long leash meant she went around the corner before Kendra. She heard someone exclaim, “Wow, hi there. Aren’t you a beauty?”
As Kendra came around the corner, she got the shock of her life. It was the twins. One was holding the leash on a fat bulldog, keeping him out of Bella’s way, while the other had bent down to show his hand to Bella. Bella was practically wagging her tail off.
If there was a way Kendra could hide she would have. Instead, she had to face the two men in front of her. She felt tongue-tied and very embarrassed. These men had seen her naked, not only naked but she had masturbated in front of them. She wished the ground would open and swallow her.
“Hi! Fancy seeing you here,” the one holding the dog said. The other looked up from where he had been looking at Bella. He grinned broadly when he saw who it was and spoke.
“Hello. Is this beauty yours?”
Kendra could only nod.
“She is gorgeous. What’s her name?”
She squeaked, “Bella,” then cleared her throat and repeated, “Bella.”
“Hello, Bella.”
That was enough for Bell. She put her front paws on the man in front of her and leaned forward. He fell back onto the track with Bella trying hard to lick his face. Kendra was so mortified. She tried to pull her off him, but the man was laughing and rubbing her face. The other twin spoke quietly to her.
“Does she like other dogs?”
Kendra could feel her face redden as she nodded yes. The man smiled at her. It made her feel funny, as if the smile was just for her. He moved toward his brother and Bella, and his dog decided to sniff Bella all over. Bella then left the twin on the ground to return the doggy investigation. Kendra had no idea what she should do, Bella was a strong dog and even though she was tugging on her leash, she just would not budge.
The twin on the ground climbed to his feet and grinned over at her. “What breed is she?”
What could she do but answer? Maybe this would count as all six people as far as Lynne was concerned.
“I…the vet said…um…Irish Wolfhound.”
He smiled and held out his hand for her. “I’m Marc, and that’s my brother Gabe,” he said, pointing over to the other twin who had bent down to say hello to Bella. She was saved by the bulldog who wandered over to sniff her feet then bark at her. She gave a start.
“It’s okay, he just wants you to pat him. His name is Winston.”
“Oh.” She bent down and patted the dog who immediately rolled onto his back for a belly rub. She grinned to herself as she rubbed him then straightened up.
“Okay, Winston, that’s it. Come on, we still have to finish our run,” said Marc. He called to his brother who stood and came over to Kendra, Bella trailing behind.
“It was great to meet you. Maybe we could give the dogs a play date one time.”
“Um…thanks.” Kendra was not sure what she should say but the men did not seem at all worried by her lack of conversation.
Marc grinned at her and said, “Hope we can catch up again soon. Take care.”
“Yes, see you again. Come on, Winston.”
With that, the three ran off down the track. Kendra felt weak in the legs and sank onto the trail. Bella sat beside her so Kendra gave her a drink while she settled her nerves.
She had done it. She had a conversation of sorts, and with the two handsome men from The Club. They had not leered at her or made crude remarks, instead they had chatted as if they liked her. She hugged herself as she sat there. Part of her was excited and part of her was in shock.
Chapter Six
The twins ran down the track. They lived a few hundred metres from the dog park and enjoyed morning and evening runs through the trees. The last person they expected to meet was Kendra! Once they reached the park, they unlocked the gate and let Winston off his leash to drink and they sat together on the nearby bench.
They looked at each other, a big grin on both faces.
“She is even more beautiful in the daylight.”
“You said it. She was shocked to see us though. I thought she was going to race away.”
“Me, too. Thank goodness for her dog!”
Gabe laughed at his brother. “You should have seen her face when she realised who we were. You had your head down playing with her dog. If the ground had of opened she would have jumped in willingly.”
“Do you think she just doesn’t like us or is it like Lynne said, we just have to go slow and follow her lead?”
Gabe looked serious. “Lynne said people are worried about her and you heard what Lisa said.”
The boys sat with their thoughts until Gabe spoke. “What if we ring Lynne and tell her what happened? I am worried that Kendra might panic.”
“Well, if she is seeing Lynne it makes sense if we tell Lynne we have spoken with her. I know she thinks we are just after someone to fuck but it isn’t like that.”
“We need to get her to understand that we really like Kendra, that we want to help. I am sure she is the girl for us. We just have to tread very softly.”
“And we were good just then. We didn’t push her, we didn’t stay.”
They called Winston and headed back to their house, they would ring Lynne once they were back.
* * * *
Kendra finally got to her feet and she turned back toward the car. She did not think she could risk meeting anyone else. As nervous as she had been, the encounter actually made her feel more alive than she had for many years. What was happening to her?
She got back to the car without incident. There was only one person in the enclosed area who only said hello as Kendra rushed past. Kendra nodded in reply before heading to the car. She drove home, her head buzzing and replaying the conversation in her head. She had to admit she felt very brave. Okay, her side of the conversation was pretty pathetic, but she had done it.
What was even more exciting was that they had said they would like to meet up with the dogs again. She doubted she would do it, but just the fact they had said it made her feel good. They had not said anything about The Club. Instead, it had been all about the dogs.
She hugged Bella, she felt like ringing Lynne and telling her what she had done but then thought it would be rather silly. Instead, she made a coffee and had a late breakfast.
* * * *
Marc grabbed the phone as soon as they walked in the door. Lynne’s number was on a sheet of Club members’ information that Richard had given them when they asked for Paul and Ty’s numbers.
“Hi, Lynne? It’s Marc Rossi, how are you?”
“I know it is early but we just wanted to talk to you about Kendra.”
“What? You did.” Gabe was standing beside him and Marc mouthed that Lynne wanted to talk to them about her. “Okay. Gabe and I took our dog for a run this morning, we do it most days. Anyway, we were on our way back when we ran into Kendra. She was taking her dog for a walk and we sort of all bumped together on the park trail.”
“What? No, no we had no idea. We turned a corner as she was coming toward us.”
He grinned at something Lynne said then continued. “We are both concerned that she may have been frightened by meeting us. It was not intentional. We tried to be cool and talked about her dog, she had this giant dog. I mean it’s enormous but really friendly.”
“I mean it, Lynne, the dog’s a giant. What?”
“Irish Wolfhound, she said.”
“Yeah she did, we asked her. Mind you she didn’t say very much, really just gave one-word answers to our questions about the dog.”
“So we played it very quiet.”
Marc listed to Lynne for a few minutes before speaking again. “So we did good?” He gave a thumbs-up to his brother.
“Okay, yes we can do t
hat. Like I said we didn’t know she would be there and there was no pressure or anything from us. We just acted like a few friends bumping into each other, then moved off.”
Marc hung up the phone and grinned at his brother. “Good news, Lynne said we handled things right. Something happened to Kendra when she was younger that was pretty terrible. She said any interaction from anyone has to been done with kid gloves.”
Gabe smiled and said, “Hopefully we manage to bump into her again. So we play it by ear.”
* * * *
Lynne hung up the phone with a smile on her face. It seemed like fate was playing a hand in helping Kendra. She decided that after lunch she would casually ring Kendra, just to check she had not been upset after their session. It would be interesting to see if she mentioned the twins.
Maybe the twins were just what she needed. It was obvious that Kendra was attracted to them, but she thought she was too damaged, that the men would not be interested in her.
As long as the men listen to her and did not rush at Kendra, who knows?
* * * *
Kendra had mowed her little patch of grass and was sitting in the sun relaxing when the phone rang. She was surprised because the only person who rang her was her boss and that was never on the weekend.
She got to her feet and grabbed the phone.
“Hello, Kendra. It’s Lynne. I just wanted to make sure you are okay after yesterday’s session. Sometimes it can be very upsetting.”
“Oh. Thank you.”
“That’s okay. That is what I am here for. To help you get through this.”
Kendra was not sure what to say. She was silent for a moment then blurted out, “I talked to someone.”
“You did? That is wonderful, Kendra. I am so proud of you.”
Kendra felt really special at Lynne’s words. No one had ever said anything like that to her before.
