Last Dance

by Renee Fowler

  I wait until the door swings closed behind her. “Do you have to act like such an idiot?”

  “Idiot? You should be thanking me. I made that happen.”

  “No, you locked me in someone’s basement. Don’t think I’m going to let that go now.”

  “All’s well that ends well.”

  “Actually, you’re going to make it up to me by taking my Friday evening class. I’m going home for the weekend.”

  “Home?” she asks, and it’s a fair question. I don’t really have a home to return to.

  “I’m going to visit Gregory I mean.”

  “I don’t mind.” She dumps her bag by the wall, and shrugs off her coat, leaving it in a heap nearby.

  “You’re also going to check in on Princess while I’m away.”

  “Anything else your majesty?”

  “You’re never going to call me your majesty again.”

  “Fair enough. Now we’re even.”

  I grumble under my breath.

  Laura unzips her bag, digs through for her dance shoes. I can’t help but feel a little green as I watch her start to move. I would kill to have range of motion like that again. “So, What’s up with Jaaaack?”

  “Will you stop saying his name like that?”

  “I still can’t believe that’s really him. He’s so hot now. Back in high school he was such a nerd.” She pauses to stretch one leg up in a wide arc. “I guess it makes sense though. You’re a dance nerd, and he’s a regular nerd.”

  “Will you stop calling people nerds? We’re adults.”

  “Speaking of adults, Jamie gave me a brilliant idea when she was talking about her ex’s skanky girlfriend. We should give pole dancing classes.”

  “No, we definitely shouldn’t.”

  “Why the hell not? We could do it on Saturday nights. It would bring in some extra business, and you’ve got experience.”

  “It’s not an experience I want to relive.”

  “Oh, come on. It’s just for fun. Like stripercize for middle age mom types. I’ve already got an entire class of women that want to do it. While you were getting acquainted with Jack downstairs last night, I was upstairs wheeling and dealing.”

  I choose not to mention that we did far more than get acquainted. “How would that look to the parents of the little kids we’re teaching?”

  “It would be a totally separate thing. It’s not like we’re going to put flyers up front.”

  “I’m not even sure if I can do all those moves anymore, and I’m not wearing some skimpy butt floss either.”

  “You can wear whatever you want, and we can do it together. It’ll be fun.” Laura pauses to give me a stern look. “We’re gonna have to do something to turn a profit. Either that, or raise our prices.”

  “No,” I say firmly. There were times growing up, after that community center closed, when I couldn’t attend classes. It was too expensive for my grandma to afford, and I wasn’t old enough to work yet.

  But Laura is right. I’ve invested almost every penny I had remaining in this studio, after my hospital and physical therapy bills. I needed to find some way to make it work.

  Chapter 8

  Jack

  Sarah is practically vibrating with excitement as we stride across the parking lot in the bitter chill. “There’s going to be a whole class. You have to follow along with everyone else, and pay attention. It won’t be like last time.”

  “I know, Daddy.”

  We’re not the first to arrive. Anna is already chatting with one of the other parents. She looks so statuesque and graceful just standing still. The form fitting black and pink outfit she’s wearing doesn’t leave a whole lot to the imagination, and I have a helluva a time keeping my eyes off her.

  I busy myself helping Sarah out of her coat. She quickly darts away, and makes a beeline for Anna. “I got a cat, Miss Anna.”

  Luckily the parent she was chatting with has just stepped away. “That’s wonderful. What kind of cat?”

  Sarah stares to me for help.

  I shrug as I walk up. “That’s anyone’s guess. We got it from the pound. I think it’s a calico maybe.”

  Anna catches my eye briefly, and gives me a small, private smile. “What did you name him or her?” she asks Sarah.

  “His name is Fluffy. I got to name him.”

  “That’s a nice name for a cat. I bet you named him that because he’s soft and fluffy, huh?”

  Sarah nods, and smiles up at Anna.

  Other parents and children were filing in, and I don’t want Sarah to monopolize all her time. “Where should we go get changed?”

  “Right through there,” Anna says, pointing.

  There are little stalls sectioned off in the long, narrow room. Sarah is already dressed in her outfit beneath another warmer, outer layer. I help her strip off her jeans, and sweatshirt. She toes off her sneakers, and I stoop down to strap the dance shoes on her feet. “Can you fix my hair like Miss Anna’s?”

  “I’m not sure if I know how. You should’ve asked Aunt Jamie to do it before we left the house.”

  “I didn’t know how Miss Anna was going to wear her hair today.”

  “We’ll ask your Aunt for next time, okay?”

  But as soon as we get out of the changing rooms, she makes a beeline for Anna again. Sarah really isn’t a bit shy, but Anna happily obliges her request while she makes small talk with another girl’s mother.

  Anna has such a gentle, easy nature with Sarah, and with all of the children, I notice as class gets underway. Not only is she talented, and beautiful. She’s good with kids. I keep waiting for the catch. Sadly I think I might end up being the snag in all this if history repeats itself.

  My sister is right. Claire would want me to be happy. She’d want me to move on, I think, but there’s always this nagging doubt, and that tiny doubt grows as I watch Sarah’s adorable, clumsy first attempts at ballet. It’s so unfair that my wife doesn’t get to see this.

  And that’s going to be the wrench in all this. As perfect as Anna may seem, and may eventually turn out to be, how can anything ever develop when I still think of Claire as my wife?

  On the other hand, maybe I’m being hasty. Any first of Sarah’s is shadowed by her mother’s absence. Her first tooth. Her first steps. Her first word. Her first day of school, and now her first dance lesson. There’s always that ache in the center of my chest, and I’m left wondering what Claire would say about all this if she were sitting here beside me.

  I’m in a bit of a dark mood as class concludes. I follow Sarah back to the changing room, and help her get bundled up again. “Did you see me dance, Daddy?”

  “I sure did. You were great.”

  Sarah puts up a bit of a fuss when I prompt her to put her sneakers back on, but I remind her the ballet shoes will get ruined walking outside. “But I want to practice when I get home.”

  “Then we’ll put them back on when we get there.” My words come out a bit sharper than I intend. “I’ll help you put them back on when we get home,” I say more softly. “Then you can show Aunt Jamie what you learned, okay?”

  By the time I corral her back out into the main room, most of the kids have cleared out. I’m holding Sarah’s coat for her, and a blast of frigid air pours in as a few exit through the front. The days are already getting shorter, and it’s almost full dark.

  “Do you need a ride home,” I ask Anna quietly.

  “That’s okay. You don’t have to wait.”

  “You shouldn’t walk alone after dark.”

  She laughs. “I’ve walked through a lot worse neighborhoods than this, and later at night too.”

  Maybe so, but I still don’t like the idea. “We don’t mind waiting.” I nod my head to where Sarah is prancing in front of the mirror. “Please, Anna. I wouldn’t feel right, and it’s on the way.”

  Nodding, she quirks her lips to the side in a playful smile, and some of that dark cloud hanging over me dissipates. The few remaining stragglers clear ou
t, and Anna goes to change her shoes, and shrug on a bulky parka.

  Sarah grows animated when she learns were driving her dance teacher home. Holding my hand, she wiggles around as Anna turns off the lights, and locks up.

  “I really appreciate you driving me,” she says as we set off.

  “You should be careful, Anna. There’s been some break in and things recently.”

  “I’m careful, and I’m working on getting my license. Laura’s a great dance teacher, but she not much of a driving instructor.” She lets out a soft laugh. “Or maybe I’m just a terrible student.”

  “I could teach you,” I say, the words popping out of my mouth automatically.

  “In this?” she asks, looking around the cruiser’s interior.

  “Nah, I have something else that’s a bit smaller. It doesn’t get driven much.”

  “I can’t ask you to do that.”

  “You’re not asking. I’m offering.”

  Anna looks over her shoulder to where Sarah is drawing shapes on the foggy car door window. “We can talk about it later.”

  We have plans for Thursday. Part of me can’t wait, and part of me…

  How can I still be this conflicted six years after the fact?

  I pull up to her apartment, and she unfastens her seatbelt. “I’ll see you next Monday, Sarah. Take care of Fluffy.” She smiles at me, and I’m suddenly a bit less conflicted. “Thanks, Jack.”

  When we get home, the space between Jamie’s eyebrows is creased. As soon as Sarah is out of the room, she quietly explodes. “Guess who’s back in town. Can you guess?”

  I shrug off my coat, and hang it by the door. “Seriously?”

  “I quit my job just so I can get away from him. I can’t believe he’s doing this to me.”

  “Well, he is from here too.”

  “Don’t take his side!”

  “I’m not. Jesus. I know Garden Grove is small, but it’s not that small. You’ll probably never see him.”

  “But I did see him! I was pumping gas, and he had the nerve to come say hi, like we were old pals or something. Where the hell does he get off?”

  I stare at Jamie intently for a moment. “If you take him back after all this, I swear to god.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “I’m being serious,” I say firmly. “That piece of shit is not coming through the door here. Over my dead body.”

  “We’re divorced, Jack. We’re done. What he did was unforgivable.”

  Cole has done some unforgivable things in the past that she eventually saw past, some of those things I didn’t learn about until well after the fact. From where I’m standing, she didn’t see past this last time because he wasn’t seeking forgiveness. Watching her make the same stupid mistake so many times I’ve lost count is both heartbreaking and infuriating. “I’m just saying, Jamie. Just putting it out there.”

  Jamie gives me a hateful look, and stomps through to the kitchen. When she returns with two beers, she appears more melancholy than pissed off. In my opinion, Cole isn’t worth being sad or angry over, but she’s never valued my thoughts on the matter much.

  “How did Sarah do?” she asks, twisting off the top off one of the bottles, and handing it over.

  I’m far from an everyday drinker. So is Jamie, but I guess she’s upset at seeing him again. I set the bottle on the coffee table, and move to snatch up Sarah’s bag from the middle of the living room floor where she carelessly discarded it. “She loved it, and she did as well as the rest of them I guess.”

  Jaime beams brightly, and collapses on the couch. “How was Anna?”

  “She was… fine, but I was there for Sarah.”

  “Oh, I know, but you at least said hi, right?”

  I give her a withering glance. “Obviously.”

  “She’s so pretty, and she seems really nice.”

  “She was nice enough not to press charges after you held her hostage at least.”

  “How long are you going to hold that over my head? It was for your own good.”

  “Jamie, I’m beginning to think you have a very skewed view of good.”

  “It all worked out in the end. You two are perfect for each other.”

  “That still remains to be seen. We haven’t even been on one actual…” I pause to make sure Sarah isn’t lurking nearby. “Date.”

  “Laura said you two were going at it hot and heavy the other day at their dance studio.”

  I tip my head back to sigh towards the ceiling. “Can we not talk about this, especially where Sarah might overhear?”

  “What? Sarah loves her.”

  “That may be, but I have no idea what’s going to happen, and I’d rather not confuse her.”

  “You’re right, but she’s too busy playing with that little furball you bought her to pay any attention to us. I hope you don’t expect me to clean out that litter box.”

  “I would never dream of asking you to degrade yourself like that,” I say with a small eye roll. That was Jamie’s complaint whenever I ask her to do anything she deems gross, too time consuming, or beneath her.

  “Speaking of degrading myself, I’m thinking about taking a pole dancing class with some of the girls. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

  “Fun for you maybe, and before you ask, you’re not installing a stripper pole anywhere in my house.”

  “You really are no fun.” Jamie’s eyes sparkle with mischief, as she gives me a curious smile. “Maybe you could ask your new girlfriend to give you a private lesson.”

  “Huh?” I ask, scratching my forehead. Before she can speak, I start to shake my head. “Jamie, you have been on my case to try dating again for longer than I remember, and I’m going to give it a shot, but the only way this can work is if we pretend not to have a friend in common with Anna, okay?”

  “We’re supposed to be able to talk about anything.”

  “Are we?”

  “We’re twins.”

  “I’m still not entirely convinced of that. My theory is you were found on the doorstep, and our parents just didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

  “If one of us was found on the doorstep, it was you, and not me.”

  ∞∞∞

  I planned on taking Anna somewhere a bit nicer, but when I went to pick her up, she said she’d been craving pizza ever since that night.

  “You know you could’ve stayed and had a piece,” I say as soon as we are settled at the table. “I would’ve shared.”

  Anna’s face glows a wine color with a blush. “I completely panicked. That was all a little spur of the moment, and… unexpected. I wasn’t sure what to say or do, but I shouldn’t have just ran off like that. I’m sorry.”

  “There’s nothing to be sorry about, and we’re starting over from scratch right?”

  She nods, and gives me a relaxed smile.

  But it’s impossible to pretend like it never happened. Anna is wearing that same shade of red, a soft sweater with a low neck. The color compliments her skin tone perfectly. A long, slender gold chain dangles below her neck. I stare a little too intently at the charm nestled right above the modest swell of her breasts.

  “Shit. Sorry, I wasn’t… I’m trying to figure out what’s on your necklace.”

  Anna laughs, that soft, tinkling music box laugh of hers. She picks up the dainty charm and leans across the table between us so I can see it is a pair of ballet shoes. “It was a gift from my friend, the one I’m going to see this weekend.”

  Claire never wore jewelry, besides her wedding band. She said it annoyed her, and got in the way.

  Stop it.

  Comparing the woman sitting in front of me to my late wife isn’t fair to her. If I’m really going to give this a chance, I have to stop, but it’s one of those things that happens automatically.

  Anna is a completely different person in almost every regard from what I can tell over our meal. Not different in a bad way, just… different. She’s quiet, reserved. She asks a lot of questions about my job
with a sincere curiosity. She eats a single piece of pizza slowly, with a knife and a fork, something I can’t help but tease her about.

  “I thought you said you were craving pizza all week.”

  “I was.”

  “Is that how it’s done in New York?”

  Smiling, she shakes her head. “I guess old habits die hard.”

  Remembering what she said the night of the party, the smile drains off my face. “You need to eat more than that.”

  I plop another piece on her plate, and she takes a delicate nibble, obviously to appease me.

  “You eat like a bird, Anna. You’re tiny.”

  That comment gets a big laugh out of her. “I’m really not. I don’t mean I’m overweight, but I’m too tall. The dancers that had to lift me up never complained that I was tiny, that’s for sure.”

  “Well, now you don’t have to worry about it. You can eat as much pizza as you want.”

  She gives me a somewhat broken smile, and I feel a little like an ass. Judging by what she said last week, Anna wasn’t too happy to change career paths, or at the very least she’s feeling conflicted.

  “So, my sister says you’re going to be teaching her how to be a stripper.”

  Anna chortles a sip of water, and clears her throat quietly. “I don’t know about that. Laura’s trying to talk me into it, but I’m feeling a bit ambivalent about it.”

  “Is that something they teach you in dance school?”

  She shakes her head, and her face and neck grow deep crimson. “I’m afraid I have real world experience with that too, but I hated it. I only did it occasionally because I was broke, and I never took everything off,” she points out quickly. “I wouldn’t give lap dances either, and that was years ago.”

  I laugh. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Anna.”

  “We could probably use the extra income, but there would be equipment to buy, and we’d have to find a place to store everything.” She pauses to wet her lips. “Maybe you can tell me what you think, as the parent of a student. Doesn’t it seem inappropriate? I’m afraid people will find out and not want their kids coming there.”

  “If it’s all seperate, I don’t see what the big deal is. But yeah, I’d rather not have Sarah learning to swing around a pole.”