Full Blooded jm-1

by Amanda Carlson

  Nick was right. Ray had catapulted himself into a game he couldn’t possibly win. Even though I disliked him for a thousand reasons, I didn’t want to be the impetus of his death. I’d joined the police force all those years ago not only because I was good at it, but because I actually believed in the notion of justice. The right to live and be free. Without those two things, I wouldn’t be alive right now.

  Unfortunately, that viewpoint wasn’t embraced among wolves. In fact, it didn’t even exist for them. They had no philosophical debate going on in their minds about humans; it’d always been cut-and-dry. Humans were necessary, but not equal. End of story.

  I’d lived up to this point as a human, and killing one for no other reason than to keep his silence wasn’t going to happen if I had anything to say about it. When the time came, and if it was up to me, I’d find another way. There had to be another way.

  “Well,” I said. “We’ll just have to make damn sure Raymond Hart doesn’t step in any deeper, then. We’re going to have to make sure he follows up other leads. The ones we plant.” I closed my eyes both physically and figuratively on the topic. My eyes burned and I needed sleep. It was safe to say I could add exhaustion to my list of newborn traits. My body was still adjusting to the changes. It was going to take time, and I planned to use that time curled up in bed.

  The ride home took fifteen minutes and I dozed off completely. Nick pulled into my parking lot and turned off the car.

  I opened my eyes and yawned. “Thanks for the ride. But now you have to walk—” Screaming ripped through my consciousness. I lunged forward, grabbing on to the dashboard. My fingers punched right though the plastic. Shit. This night was just getting

  WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? Jessica! Jessica! Can you hear me? Jessica …

  Tyler, I’m here! You can stop yelling now. I yanked my fingers out of the dashboard one at a time. Molded plastic didn’t puncture uniformly, it cracked. What is it? What’s wrong?

  Nick glanced over at me, one eyebrow slightly raised. I lifted my freed index finger and placed it on my forehead.

  He gave me a sympathetic smile.

  What’s wrong? Tyler grumbled. What’s wrong is I’ve been trying to get into your head for the last fucking hour. You start calling some guy an asshole and then I feel this wicked pulsating anger thing, and then nothing. Completely blank. You blocked me. How in the hell did you cut me off?

  My dad’s words rang as a warning in my head. I trusted Tyler with my life, he was my brother, but the last thing I was going to do was place him in jeopardy. Caution was my new best friend. The less any wolf knew at this point, the better, and that included Tyler. I selected my words carefully, knowing he’d be able to sense a lie if I didn’t believe what I was saying to be true. I have no idea, Ty. Blocking you wasn’t a conscious thing on my part. I can assure you that much. I must have cut you off accidentally when the fight started.

  What goddamn fight? His impatience was loud and clear.

  I fought the imp we were tailing tonight when he grabbed a teen. He turned out to be more than I bargained for, but I won.

  How in the hell can I possibly protect you if I can’t even find you? Tyler shouted. I put a finger up to my temple and pressed. Being yelled at inside my head was making my head ache. Nick was supposed to be with you tonight! Where the hell was Nick?

  He was with me. It was my choice to go after the imp. Nick had nothing to do with it.

  My brother’s emotions simmered as images of my death floated through his subconscious. It startled the hell out of me. Quit doing that! I can see what you’re thinking!

  Jess, I thought you died tonight. His voice wasn’t above a whisper. Again.

  My heart jumped. Tyler, honestly, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. It wasn’t anything I did on purpose, I swear. If I would have heard you, I would’ve answered. I promise. Even if it was only to tell you to get the hell out of my head so I could concentrate on the fight. I formed the next thoughts carefully. I think it’s safe to say a female werewolf is a complete unknown, just like we talked about today. My mind may not work the same as yours. I have no idea what’s happening to me. Or what will happen in the future. None of us do. I took a deep breath. I have a feeling this is going to be one giant clusterfuck, just like everyone has always predicted, and I’m recommending we wake ourselves up. It’s time to face facts.

  Well, shit. The old Tyler was back.

  My sentiments exactly. But right now, instead of trying to fix everything and figure it all out, I’m going to sleep on it. And while I’m at it, I can hopefully scrub the bloody pictures of my grisly death courtesy of your brain out of mind. I yawned.

  James and Danny are still trying to track you down. I’ll give them a call and tell them you’re safe.

  Thanks, I appreciate it. I know you haven’t had to watch my back since I left the Compound, but it feels good having you there again.

  It’s what I’m here for, sis. Just do me a favor and don’t get yourself into any more trouble tonight.

  It’s not on the agenda, trust me. I can promise you that much. I’m going inside and getting some much-needed sleep.

  There was a brush against my senses and he was gone.

  I laid my head back on the headrest and turned to Nick, who had patiently waited for me to finish my conversation. He frowned with concern, and his eyes held a questioning look that hadn’t been there a few moments ago. “Oh no,” I said. “You can’t start in on me tonight. Please don’t say anything. I don’t want to hear it.” I swiveled my head toward the ceiling and closed my eyes. “Please, Nick. I don’t think I can take any more tonight.”

  “Um …” he started. “It’s just …”

  I waved off his sentence with my hand. “I mean it, Nick.” My eyes were still closed. “In all honesty, this whole wolf thing is completely freaking me out. I’ve kept a lid on it all day so I could stay focused on pretending to be normal. I don’t need you to freak out along with me. You’re my rock. You’re my best friend. I need that right now. I don’t need an interrogator. I have no idea what’s going on, and I don’t have any answers for you anyway. So let’s curtail this question-and-answer thing until I know more.”

  Nick reached over and grabbed on to my hand. For the first time, I realized I’d been smelling Nick’s scent clearly for a while now. He smelled like a mixture of cedar and fresh rain. It fit him perfectly. And, as an added bonus, it calmed me and made me feel happy. I guess it always had, and I just never knew it.

  “Jess, I’ll always be here for you. No matter what,” he said. “I pledged my life to you, and to this Pack, a long time ago—but even more than that, I love you. You’re my sister and my best friend. I’d gladly fight anyone to the death if they ever threatened you. Well, except for Drake, who you got to handle on your own. But, honestly, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

  “I know, Nick. I love you too.” I smiled at him. “I promise, we can talk soon, but I’m going to need time to process everything. It’s been so much at once and such a major change in my life. I just need to figure it out before I’m ready to dissect it and put it all on the table. That’s all I’m asking.”

  “I hear you.” He released my hand. “But, honestly, can we just talk about the eyes for a minute?”

  I laughed. There was nothing about Nick I didn’t love. “Nope.” I stretched my arms out in front of my body, trying to rouse myself. “No eyes, no strength, no weird anger smell, no nothing. It’s all off the docket for now.”

  Nick eyed me. I could feel him evaluating my mood, wondering if he could push the issue a teensy bit more. Instead, he shifted in his seat, leaning over and placing a small kiss on the top of my head. “Do you want me to walk you in?”

  “Nope. I saw Danny today and they have it covered. Go home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Gotcha. I think I’ll go for a run.” Nick slid out of the car. “I could use a good run right about now, let the stress out. Try to make it in before noon tomorr
ow, okay?”

  I laughed. “The alarm will be on.”

  He shut the door and I watched him take off through the parking lot, his graceful body moving fluidly like the shifter he was.

  I slumped back in my seat, thinking about everything that had happened tonight. My brain still whirled and I wanted to put everything to rest. Blocking your Alpha was impossible. It was clear evidence that something was wrong—I was officially a problem my father couldn’t control. If that information got out, the Pack would never accept me. The Alpha was in place for a reason; he was at the top to control all others. If I didn’t fit into the hierarchy, they would take me down. Wolves needed structure and hated change. They feared the unknown and hated anything they couldn’t explain.

  I was the epitome of those things wrapped into one.

  9

  I was almost to my apartment door when a rich, unfamiliar voice reverberated along the folds in my mind. I stopped in my tracks and glanced around.

  Nobody else was in the hallway.

  The voice brushed along my brain again like a soft, steamy caress. It was less concrete—more like it was being manifested from inside my brain, rather than outside. It didn’t sound like my brother or my father’s voice at all. Thank goodness, because what it had just said to me was filthy as hell.

  It came again, whispering along my senses, and I finally recognized the timbre. The voice in my head was Colin Rourke, my potential new client. I listened for a moment and then blushed like a madwoman.

  What’s going on? This has to be a trick.

  Rourke’s throaty voice washed over me again and tingles erupted on the pads of my fingers all the way to my toes, hitting all the important parts along the way. I couldn’t help shivering.

  Um … chocolate syrup goes where?

  Sex and food. It was too much. I shook my head, trying to knock it out of my brain. Marcy had to be playing a joke on me, getting me back for making her worry. It was the only real explanation. What else could it be? What a minx. I glanced down the hallway again just to make sure she wasn’t giggling behind someone’s door.

  The voice continued without pause. Graphically.

  No, no, caramel can’t go there. It’s too sticky for that.

  Before I could do anything to stop myself, my nipples budded to hard peaks under my shirt. I was totally and completely turned on. Damn you traitorous body parts. No guy’s voice should be in my brain without my permission, but it didn’t stop me from imagining what he smelled like. Rich pine boughs or salty ocean was my best guess, possibly with a hint of fresh rain. Yum.

  A rush of wetness hit my panties.

  Jesus Christ!

  This was too much. The joke had gone too far. Marcy, if you’re in my head, get the hell out! It’s not funny. I’m going to practical joke you to death. Do you hear me? To death!

  I had to be temporarily out of my mind to get that turned on by an imaginary voice. I straightened and walked briskly to my door, keys out at the ready. I didn’t even know what the guy looked like, hot voice or not; this was not an appropriate reaction. It was wrong on so many levels. Marcy’s scrawny ass was mine.

  I stopped in front of my door and a low growl escaped my diaphragm with no provoking on my part.

  Did I just growl?

  I growled again.

  Suddenly it all made sense.

  Marcy hadn’t been messing with me.

  Why would you possibly do something like that? I asked my wolf, even though I already knew the answer. This was payback for winning my Dominion.

  She snapped her teeth at me.

  If you start playing games with me, how in the hell am I supposed to trust you? Last time I checked, we were in this together. We share the same mind and body, for better or worse. If I’m horny and unsatisfied—you’re horny and unsatisfied. Got it? I grumbled. We have to get this we’re-playing-on-the-same-team thing figured out. If not, it’s going to tear us apart. And guess what? I’m holding you completely responsible if we can’t. Hear that? Your. Fault.

  She huffed at me like I was an idiot. Then fed me an image of her lying on her back wiggling around like she was trying to scratch an itch. She got up, paced a few times in a circle before lying down with her head on her paws.

  Then she closed her eyes and shut me out.

  Just like that.

  Very mature, I told her.

  No response.

  I shook my head and unlocked my apartment door. I pushed it open and inhaled an unfamiliar scent.

  Werewolf.

  Then he was on me.

  He lunged at me from my left side, where he’d been hidden by the shadow of the door, plowing into me with the force of a battering ram, slamming my door shut in the process. My upper body jerked backward and we both crashed to the floor. We skidded, me on the bottom with a two-hundred-pound werewolf anchored to my chest.

  Unimpeded by a single lick of furniture, we crashed into the opposite wall, blowing out the bottom Sheetrock. I was pinned. He was in his full animal form, and it was all I could do to keep his snapping jaws from my face. My hands clung to the fur around his neck and I held on for dear life as we rolled back and forth across the floor.

  “Get off me,” I gasped as we took another turn. My wolf’s ears were pinned back, a fierce snarl reverberating through my psyche, adrenaline and strength pounding through me. The same psyche she’d just been messing with a few seconds ago.

  The werewolf’s foul, mangy breath wafted over me, his eyes radiating a fierce, pulsating yellow.

  I absorbed everything she sent me as quickly as I could. Without it, I’d already be dead. The constant infusion of power gave me a small edge. My arms hardened, growing stronger by the second. I managed to wrench my attacker’s jaws backward a few precious inches, twisting my fists farther into his fur, like I was wrapping my hands up in a dish towel. When my hands were strung into his fur as far as they could go, I gave a little.

  Just enough.

  He came down hard, viciously snapping at my face, his jaws within a hairsbreadth of tearing my skin. Then I extended my arms forward, snapping my elbow in a quick motion, at the same time twisting his head to the side. There was a small but satisfying crack. One angry yowl and he went still, the weight of his head falling heavily into my arms.

  “That’s what you get for messing with me,” I panted, my hands still firmly planted in his fur. Adrenaline pumped through me at a steady pace. It was delicious. The strength dizzying.

  One twitch, and the wolf’s head shot up off my chest. Shit. This one must heal faster than normal. I hadn’t really thought I’d killed him—that would’ve been too easy—but a girl could dream. My arms were still firmly entwined in his fur, so I kept him back as his teeth gnashed inches from my face. He unleashed a low, nasty growl as his jowls dripped thick saliva on my chest.

  Well, hell. Fear pierced me deep in the chest for the first time. I might lose. This wolf was too strong for me. As quickly as the thought entered my mind, a massive tide of power surged up inside, pushing against me so fiercely I almost let go.

  In an instant, my fingers pulsed, my nails morphing to sharp points. My canines followed, lengthening to deadly spears in my mouth. My muscles danced under my skin, pulling and shifting. Fur sprung heavily along my forearms.

  No pain this time. Instead it was exhilarating.

  My attacker lifted his nose and scented the air, growling as he registered the power shift. His eyes blazed with a cold fury.

  My wolf was not going to be denied a fight this time. She slammed against the barrier that still held, even though it was cracked, whining and barking. Be my guest. I don’t think I’m going to win this without you anyway. I focused hard to drop the wall between us. It didn’t fall easily, but the small fissure that I’d made before finally ruptured under the force and our minds snapped together like a slingshot as we merged.

  Then all hell broke loose.

  I reared up and sank my new fangs into the side of his neck and ripped happi
ly. He let out a strangled howl and tried to scramble backward. I’d missed his jugular by an inch. My new claws were now fully embedded into his neck and blood flowed in rivers down my arms, coating us both.

  He howled again, trying to shake himself free.

  In one powerful heave, I flung him away and sprang to my feet, power rushing through me in a sweet continuous current, hitting every single nerve ending. My wolf was in control of the fight, she was leading, but I was there. It was different than before. We were united this time, but she had the wheel.

  My attacker paced back and forth in front of me. Blood coursed down the wound in his neck, dripping onto my recently mopped floor in thick dark streams.

  He leapt without warning.

  I was ready.

  My body launched itself into the air and we clashed in the middle. The only way to kill a wolf was to sever the vertebrae completely. No more impulses from the brain and you were done. I’d only cracked his neck before. Anything other than killing him at this point was not an option. If he gained the upper hand for even a moment, I was dead.

  We rolled again, my arms coming around his body tightly. As we fought, my body continued to change and morph. We rolled twice before smashing against the plywood inside my sliding glass door. It wavered for a moment before it crashed down on top of us, startling my attacker.

  It was the edge I needed. As the werewolf lifted his head and shoulders up to dislodge the wood, I slid my feet into his soft underbelly. Then I punched my legs forward, tossing him, and the board, off me in one powerful thrust.

  Blood ran down my legs. As I brought my legs back, I saw that my claws had ripped through my running shoes, tearing into his belly, eviscerating him.

  Foot claws were definitely a dandy new feature.

  The plywood crashed into my breakfast bar a split second before my attacker hit it, snapping the board in half with a decisive clap.

  He was up in the next moment, and so was I.

  His dirty yellow eyes narrowed on me and he shook his head. The toss and the stomach wound weren’t going to stop him, but he was more leery of me now.