The Witch's Handbook to Hunting Vampires (Southern Single Mom Paranormal Mysteries 1)

by Amy Boyles

  The woman held my gaze; then her mouth split into a smile. “You’re the hunter,” she squealed. “Oh my gosh! It’s so great to meet you.”

  I shielded my body in front of Stone. You know, as if I was a she-wolf and he was my cub, because that’s what all sane hunters did in public.

  Or private.

  Like when I got his clothes off.

  “Who are you?” I growled.

  The woman’s eyes widened. She stepped back and said, “I’m Maggie Moonglow and this is my shop. I just opened it.”

  I shook my head. “I never saw any work being done on it or even a sign that it was coming.”

  Maggie winked at me. “You know how it is with our kind; we make things magically happen.”

  I glanced back at Stone. He quirked a brow. “This is what I was talking about.”

  Oh, I mouthed. “What do you mean, Maggie?”

  She shrugged. “You know. Our kind. I’m not a witch, like you. I’m a shape-shifter. There’s a lot of us in town, now. Ever since that whole flyer thing went out asking folks to come to Normal, a lot of us migrated here.”

  “A flyer?”

  Maggie nodded. “Well, not a flyer exactly, more like a magical beacon, I guess.”

  Stone sighed. “The rip in the veil.”

  I glanced back at him. “I just really want to lick your eyebrow. See how it tastes.”

  Maggie threw us a concerned look.

  Stone sighed. “She got a love potion thrown on her this morning.”

  Maggie clicked her tongue. “Was it Sea of Love?”

  He nodded.

  She placed a well-manicured hand on her hip and smiled. “Wait a minute. I’ve got just the thing for that.”

  “Do you think it’ll be sexy lingerie for me?” I said.

  Wow. In the back of my mind I just knew I was absolutely going to regret this day. Unable to stop myself, I ran my wrist down Stone's jawline.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m seeing if it’s sharp enough to cut.”

  His mouth curled into a smile. “I’ve got something else that’s sharp.”

  “What’s that?” I said in a husky, deep-throated way.

  He winked at me. “My tongue.”

  Everything in my body tingled right there, right then. “What?”

  Maggie blew back into the room. She carried a white cube in a paper cup. “Here you go. One bite of this and you should be cured.”

  Stone pinched the cube between his fingers. “Open up.”

  I opened my mouth and lolled out my tongue. Stone dropped the food onto it. The taste of salt overpowered my mouth.

  “Oh dear heavens,” I sputtered. Before I could spit it out, Stone closed my mouth. A second later the salt lick had melted over my tongue.

  “That was horrible,” I said.

  “How do you feel?” Stone said.

  I cleared my throat while patting down my clothes. “Like I can control myself.”

  “Good,” he said.

  Wait. What did that mean? That he didn’t like me throwing myself at him? Clearly he wasn’t mostly man; he was mostly angel.

  I turned to Maggie. “Thank you.”

  She tossed the cup in a trash can and smiled. “No problem.”

  Since my head was clear and I could focus, I had the mental capacity to ask, “So how did you end up in Normal?”

  She shrugged. “Like I said, I felt a pull. I’m not the only one. Lots of supernaturals have moved in over the past few days. Not only that, but we were magically able to set up shops easily and quickly.”

  “How?”

  “There’s a real estate firm that caters to our kind. They’re not located here, but they made it super easy to buy, rent, sell, whatever we needed.” She leaned over the counter and lowered her voice. “I think they have a witch working for them.”

  “Makes sense,” I said. I glanced back at Stone. “Right in time for Halloween.”

  He looked away, staring out the window. “Normal’s about to have an awakening of all things supernatural.”

  I followed his gaze to a redheaded woman standing outside. Her back was to us, but she pivoted around and our eyes met. There she stood, the babysitter.

  “It’s Charlotte,” I said, bolting for the door.

  Finally, I had her.

  TWENTY-FOUR

  “Never forget the consequence of not knowing who your friends are.”

  —The Witch’s Handbook

  * * *

  I barreled out the door with Stone right beside me. Charlotte saw us coming. She sprinted down the sidewalk and cut into an alley.

  I whipped around the brick building and found the babysitter cut off. There was no way out. She whirled around to face us.

  Auburn- and honey-colored tendrils curled around her face as the wind kicked up. Newspaper and paper cups scattered behind her. Their tinkling and crunching were the only sounds in the dead-end.

  “Charlotte,” I said slowly. “What’s going on? If you’re involved with something bad, tell us.”

  “We’re here to help you,” Stone said. “We’ll do anything we can.”

  Charlotte glared at us. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “There’s no place for you to go,” I said. “Just come with us. You can explain everything. Your father’s worried sick.”

  Charlotte didn’t say anything. I shifted to one side of the alley; Stone took the other. We closed in. My boots clacked on the asphalt; the angel’s steps were perfectly silent.

  Figured.

  The ex-babysitter flashed us a smile and tapped an ebony amulet she wore around her neck. A cyclone of shimmering magic jutted up around her. I shielded my eyes from the grit it kicked up. When it died down, Charlotte was gone.

  “What?” I whined. “That is so unfair.” I turned to Stone. “What was she wearing?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know, but I have the feeling that there are more than vampires involved in this thing.”

  I kicked a pebble down the asphalt. “I think you’re right. We’re dealing with something else.”

  Stone clenched his fists. “There are witches involved, too.”

  “There’s no other way to explain what happened,” I said to Vordrid. “The girl used magic, and she had to get it somewhere.”

  Vordrid rattled atop the kitchen counter. “Interesting theory.”

  “And that’s not all,” I said.

  “What’s not all, dear?” Dot said, floating into the room.

  “I really wish you wouldn’t do that,” I said. “You’re going to give Gabby ideas—the wrong ones.”

  Dot pulled at the top of her skirt, hiking it up to rest just under her bosom. “What sort of ideas?”

  “Oh, you know, the kind where a person thinks she can float everywhere she goes.”

  Dot blinked innocently at me. “Is there something wrong with that?”

  I sighed. What was the point arguing? “Of course not. Let’s have her start kindergarten floating and breathing fire. Happens all the time. Totally normal.”

  Dot scowled at me. “She’s a witch. She needs to learn the craft.”

  “She doesn’t need to be the town witch, though.”

  Dot pawed the air in dismissal. “It might better serve us if we discussed tonight as opposed to the future.”

  I fisted both hands on my hips. “And what was that love potion you worked on me today?”

  Dot blushed. “Oh dearie, just trying to put a little love in your life. You know, in case this is your last day on earth.”

  My jaw plummeted to the floor. “What?” I screeched.

  Luckily Stone wasn’t at my house. He’d gone home to do angelic things. I didn’t know what.

  Dot pinched my cheek. “Now, don’t be upset. I only did it to give you a little pleasure.”

  “It didn’t work on Stone.”

  Dot shrugged. “Only trying to help.”

  “If it hadn’t been for the new shapeshif
ting cookie maker in town, I’d still be drooling all over the angel.”

  “Is that such a bad thing, dear?”

  I balled up my fists and pressed them to my eyes. “Yes! Yes it’s a bad thing. I’m trying to stay alive, not hit the hay today. Besides, you’re the one who said mortals and angels shouldn’t get together.”

  “He might not mind becoming mortal.” Dot winked at me. “You know, if you’ve got the goods.”

  Vordrid cleared his throat. “If we may get back to the task at hand, I have a few ideas on this.”

  From my seat on the breakfast stool, I toed off my ankle boots. They hit the floor with a thud. “Let’s hear it.”

  Vordrid rose in the air and hovered over us. “I believe the girl has aligned herself with bad elements.”

  I waited. “Is that it?”

  “Yes, and either she herself is a witch or she’s a vampire.”

  I pulled off my sock. “Vordrid, I’ve seen her in daylight.”

  “It’s possible for vampires to go out during the day,” Dot said. “Used to happen all the time, but it takes powerful witchcraft to work that sort of magic. You said she was wearing an amulet?”

  “Yes.”

  Dot tapped a finger to her mouth. “I used to know an old witch, I think her name was Edith, who made amulets for a few supernatural creatures. These amulets would help dissolve certain aspects of whatever curse the creature had. Say you were a vampire, the amulet would allow you to be in the sun. Or, say you were a werewolf, you could be in the full moon and not worry about turning into your dog form. That sort of thing. She used to only make these objects for folks approved by the supernatural tribunal.”

  “Maybe she needs money and did a little extra on the side. Is she still around?” I said.

  Dot crossed to the sink and rinsed her hands. “I don’t know, but I can find out through the phone tree.”

  “What?”

  “The witch phone tree,” she said. “That’s how us older witches communicate, dear. I start by calling one witch, then she calls another and it goes on and on until the information goes through the line of witches.”

  “Ah, the days before texting,” I said. “Don’t you have an easier way of doing things?”

  Dot shook her head. “It is easy. Just because you don’t think so doesn’t mean it isn’t.”

  I clapped my hands. “Okay, Dot’s on the phone tree. Vordrid, what’s your plan?”

  Vordrid paused. “I’m searching for a way to keep you alive tonight.”

  I smirked. “I thought we were using magic in a can for that.”

  Dot hummed something as she floated out of the room. Vordrid lowered his voice. “Andie, I’d like to say I have one hundred percent faith in the cans, but those are better used as a decoy than a means to helping you. I’m afraid you’ll need all the power in that book with the amount of supernaturals that are going to be there, and I don’t want the book to kill you.”

  I smiled. “According to Dot, as long as I have the power of the three and put myself in mortal danger, I should be fine.” I made it come out much more chipper than I actually felt when I said it.

  “I don’t know, Andie.”

  “Try not to worry about it, V. I’m going to play with Gabby for a little while and then get ready for tonight.”

  I helped Gabby build things with big blocks, and we put together a puzzle. I savored every minute of it. Vordrid’s words clung to my heart, squeezing at it violently. I didn’t want today to be my last. There had to be a way to stop whatever was going to happen without overusing the book.

  But I’ll admit I was worried. I’d never faced demons and vampires in the same sitting. If the demons wanted a piece of me, they’d get it. I’d be the first to tackle with them.

  Gabby went down for a nap about an hour later, and I opened up the book to figure out how to best destroy demons.

  It appeared the process was the same. The power I used to blast at vampires was the same I’d use to push demons out of whatever form they’d taken and send them back to the underworld—or hell, as I liked to call it.

  I was about to start getting ready when Dot rushed into my room. “Andie.” She was covered in flour from head to toe.

  “You’ve got flour all over you.”

  “Hmm?” She glanced down at her hands and licked one of her fingers. Ew. Flour didn’t even taste good. “I know. I’m making forgetful cookies. We may need them tonight. You know, pass them out to the townsfolk so they don’t remember what happened.”

  “What if half the town square is destroyed in the process?”

  Dot stared at me vacantly. “I didn’t think about that. Well, we’ll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it.” She snapped her finger. “I know! We’ll tell them aliens did it. People always love a good alien story. We’ll make a crop circle in a field to help prove it.”

  I tried not to roll my eyes. I didn’t succeed, though. “Sounds like a plan.”

  “But that’s not what I came to tell you. I got ahold of Edith.”

  “You did?”

  Dot nodded. “Yes, and she has an interesting story for you. Seems a man came to her looking for an amulet.”

  My eyes widened. “When?”

  “I’ll let her tell you. She lives in town.”

  I grabbed a leather jacket off my bed and shrugged into it. “She does? You’re kidding.”

  Dot shook her head. “No. I’ll jot down the address. She’s expecting you.”

  “Great. I’ll call Stone.”

  Dot’s mouth curled into a whimsical smile. “You know, I can turn one of these cookies into a love potion, just make it stronger so that it isn’t angel proof.”

  “Okay. No. I’m not trying to bed an angel.”

  Dot’s eyes sparkled. “Are you sure about that, dear? Seems bedding an angel might be a once-in-a-lifetime event.”

  “Ew. Gross. I do not need you suggesting these things. Please just hand over the address.”

  Dot slipped me the paper. “Aren’t you going to call Stone?”

  “Yes. I’m sure he’ll meet me there.”

  I slipped on my boots and headed for the door. “I’ll be back soon.” I left through the kitchen, cranked up the 4Runner and backed out onto the street.

  Was I going to call Stone? It was just one little witch with some information. I could fill him in later in case she told me something important.

  I followed my GPS to the older side of town. The area had been hard hit by a tornado a few years earlier. A lot of the trees were still scarred and stripped of branches, half dead on top but green on the bottom. Older homes made of brick sat stamped out on large patches of yard.

  I found Edith’s house. It sat on a small row of homes that were painted cheerful colors of yellow, green and pastel blue. The houses were decorated for Halloween and a few trick-or-treaters peppered the sidewalks, their plastic masks covering their faces.

  It wasn’t even technically night yet.

  I was glad to see some kids out. So many of them did those trunk-or-treats anymore. Not that there was anything wrong with that. I get it. People worry about their kids and want to keep them safe. I’m the same way. I want my kid safe.

  That’s why I was hunting vampires, after all.

  I parked the 4Runner and got out. Edith’s house was blue with a straw scarecrow posted at the foot of the walkway. She had a nice display with hay bales, pumpkins and such. It looked like the cover of Southern Living, and to be honest, it made me a little jealous.

  An older woman opened the door before I had a chance to knock.

  “Come in,” she said in a friendly voice. “Jack told me we had a visitor.”

  I glanced around. “Jack?”

  She pointed at the scarecrow. “Jack. He’s keeping watch over everything. Let’s me know when something’s going on.”

  Edith was a short woman who was almost as round as she was tall. She had a booming, raspy voice, smooth chocolate-colored skin and plump lips.


  I followed her inside. It was dark, with a candy station set up beside the door. “You don’t dress up?”

  Edith waved her hand. “Naw. I stopped dressing up years ago. I’m a witch. What do I need to dress up for? I’ve got Halloween in my house all year long.” She smiled. “I love it for the kids, though. Always give them candy.”

  She pointed to a purple velvet couch. Wow. That thing looked awesome this time of year, but it must make you sweat in the summer.

  “Sit,” she said in a friendly yet commanding voice. “Can I bring you anything? Sweet tea?”

  “Yes, that would be great, thanks.”

  Edith clinked around the kitchen for a minute. When she returned, she offered me a plate of pumpkin cookies and tea. With all Dot’s talk about love potions and such, I avoided the treats and stuck to the drink.

  Edith plopped down in a broken-in recliner. “Dottie tells me you’re looking for someone.”

  I hooked one knee over the other and curled my hands around it. “I didn’t know another witch lived in town.”

  “Lived here all my life,” Edith said. “Course, with that rip in the veil or whatever it is, I suppose we’ll be seeing more of our kind.”

  My eyebrows shot up at her mention of the veil. “You know about that?”

  She nodded. “I do. Just waiting for someone to come along and fix it. I would if I knew how.”

  “You’re not worried about it?”

  Edith bobbed her head as if she was thinking about it. “Nah. Most of what’s coming out is harmless. Besides, the rip in the veil made this place a beacon, drawing other creatures here. Most of those people want what all people want, to raise their families in peace and quiet. To be left alone. That’s what folks want.” She took a bite of the cookie and smiled. “Mmm mmm. Delicious. Sure you don’t want one?”

  “I’m okay,” I said.

  “Of course, you know about the other side of things. The bad creatures and such.”

  I swallowed a crystalized sip of tea. “I guess that’s all I’ve really known.”

  Edith swatted her hand. “Girl, there are so many good vampires out there. You probably thought you got them all, which is why you came to Normal, right? Wanted an easy life.” She studied me and then gave a triumphant nod. “Vampires are like ants at a picnic, they just keep coming back. The bad ones do at least.”