"No! And I'm not sure jealousy has anything to do with it. He's acting like a father letting his teenager go out on a date for the first time."
Nicholas chuckled. "That's jealousy you're seeing, April. Trust me."
"He just feels protective. He—"
"What's going on, April?" he asked again.
She shook her head, and tears pricked in her eyes. Sometimes the secret she carried weighed her down so much she wasn't sure she'd ever be free of it. But when she thought of the consequences of revealing it, she accepted the weight of the burden. She'd like to confide in Nicholas, but she couldn't. At least not about that.
"I still have feelings for Gabe," she said honestly. "I regret leaving five years ago."
Nicholas studied her for what seemed like a long time. "Does he know?"
"No. I buried them and ignored them after I left until I believed Gabe was a part of my past. I treated him like a brother-in-law, and that's all he was. But lately, especially since I came back to take care of Stephie, there's this...tension between us."
"You're afraid he's still in love with Vanessa," Nicholas suggested perceptively.
"Yes." She could say so much more, but she knew something about Vanessa that might change Gabe's feelings for his wife. But she didn't dare. Nicholas was too quick. Even the subtlest of hints could set his mind in the right direction. She didn't want that.
"This is touchy, isn't it?" he asked as if he understood.
"It's complicated."
"And you didn't come out with me tonight to make Gabe jealous. You just needed a little bit of breathing space."
"Something like that, but maybe...maybe I thought a little jealousy wouldn't hurt."
"You're an honest woman, April Remmington. That's rare these days."
"Not so rare if you know the right women."
He grinned. "Touché." After a pause, he said, "I don't have any advice for you even if you'd want it. I'm not sure making Gabe jealous is the answer. Time might be the only thing that helps here. But I can be your friend if you need one. It's been a very long time since I had a friend who was a woman."
She was sure there was a story behind that statement, and maybe if she and Nicholas really became friends, he'd tell her about it.
The waitress brought their orders and set them down at their places.
Nicholas picked up his fork and said, "Okay, no more serious thoughts tonight. Just some good conversation, good music and good food. Is it a deal?"
"It's a deal."
****
Throwing off the covers, Gabe sat up on the edge of the bed. He should have known sleep would be a lost cause. He'd watched TV until ten and read the newspaper until eleven. When April had told him she had her key, she was sending him a message. Don't wait up. Well, it was his house and his life and he'd damned well wait up if he wanted to!
The clock at the side of his bed said midnight, and he convinced himself he wasn't waiting up for April. He was just going to get a midnight snack. After he pulled on a pair of sweatpants that were straggled across his bedroom chair, he didn't bother with a shirt. Out of habit he peeked in on his daughter. She was sleeping soundly, curled on her side, April's puppet clasped in her arms.
The ceramic tile in the kitchen was cool under his bare feet, but he hardly noticed. Going to the refrigerator, he pulled out a dish of roast beef that had been left over from the night before. April was an even better cook than Evelyn had been. Vanessa hadn't liked to cook, and on weekends, they'd usually eaten out or ordered something in. Gabe thought again about the vast differences between the two sisters. It had been easy to see that Vanessa had grown up in wealth from the way she dressed to her expectations of the life style they should have. Gabe had worked hard to make that life style a reality. Vanessa's salary had gone mostly for her clothes and jewelry, vacations and extras that she felt they'd like. Once he'd gotten the three stores off the ground, providing everything she'd wanted wasn't a problem. No, money hadn't caused the deterioration of his marriage, but he still didn't know what had.
He'd taken a few bites of his sandwich and washed them down with hot chocolate when he heard Nicholas' car pull into the driveway. Instead of going to a window like he wanted to do, he made himself stay put and took a few more sips from the mug.
A few minutes later, April's key turned in the lock, and Gabe wondered if Nicholas had kissed her. She must have seen the light in the kitchen from the foyer, and she came in, unbuttoning her coat. Her cheeks were pink and her hair tousled, but that could be from the cool autumn air...or from a quick but passionate kiss.
"I didn't think you'd still be up," she said as she ran her fingers through her hair to straighten it.
"Supper was a long time ago." That was enough of an explanation for his midnight foray into the kitchen. "How was your dinner?"
"Very nice." Sliding out of her coat, she hung it over her arm.
"And the symphony?"
"That was nice, too. I'm going to hang up my coat—"
"But Gabe couldn't wait until she did. "And how was Nicholas?" Gabe rose to his feet and crossed the room to her. He wanted to see into her eyes. He wanted to see if anything important had happened tonight.
"Nicholas was...fine."
Her hesitation worried him. "How fine?"
Her eyes flashed as she said, "I told you before, I don't like to be—"
"Grilled," he finished for her. "Yeah, I know. But I'm doing it anyway. Did he kiss you?"
Her gaze widened, her mouth parted slightly, and he didn't care if Nicholas had kissed her because he was going to kiss her now. She'd forget about Nicholas' kiss, if it had happened.
With only the thought of wiping another man out of her mind, his hand slid under her hair, and he brought her head to his. He thought he heard a small gasp right before his lips covered hers.
Not intending to keep the kiss chaste by any means, his tongue parted her lips. She was hot and soft and perfect, and he felt her tremble as his tongue stroked against hers, coaxing and seducing until she moaned and tightened her arms around him. Her dress against his chest pushed him into further awareness of their bodies joined together. His sweatpants weren't much of a barrier as he pressed into her, aroused and hungry.
Warning himself he was heading into very deep water, he broke the kiss and looked down into her eyes. "Did Nicholas kiss you?" His voice was husky and strained with the desire stringing his body.
Pushing away from him, there was no denying she was flushed from their kiss and not anything else. But she also looked angry and maybe even hurt.
"No, he didn't kiss me, Gabe. Nicholas was a perfect gentleman."
The implication was clear. He had not just acted like a perfect gentleman. "I'm not going to apologize for what just happened, April. It's been building up since you came back."
"Did you slip back into time again?" she challenged, her shoulders straight, her chin up.
"No. But maybe I've decided that Nicholas' life style looks attractive, and now that I'm single, I should take advantage of it." If he started caring about April again, if he thought about her in terms of a future, she could fly out of his life the same way she had before. He wasn't ready to take that risk, not after everything that had happened.
But now April did look hurt, as if she couldn't stand to be in the kitchen with him. She picked up her coat from the floor from where it had fallen and avoided his gaze until she crossed to the doorway and turned and faced him again. "You try out whatever you'd like, Gabe, but just don't think you're going to use me as an experiment again."
When he heard her high heels on the steps, he drew in a deep breath, then let it out. Picking up his glass and dish on the table, he dumped the remainder of his sandwich into the garbage and rinsed out the glass, leaving it in the sink. Not sure exactly what had gotten into him, in turmoil from emotions and chaos inside of him, he didn't even realize where he was headed until he got there.
At the hall closet, he again pulled down the photograph
albums and took them into the living room. He searched for the envelope that he had shoved into one of them. When he found it, he paused for a moment, before taking the pictures out of the envelope. Then he slid them out and examined them, one by one, trying as hard as he could to use an objective eye, trying as hard as he could to find answers.
Larry Powell and Vanessa.
In the group pictures, the two of them were standing close together, smiling at each other...and talking. Other people were around, but you could draw a circle around the two of them and point out the fact that they looked as if they were a couple. Why was that? Was it their intense regard for each other? The soft smile on Vanessa's lips that Gabe knew well from their early days together?
His heart pounded faster as he studied the picture of Vanessa and Powell dancing. Larry Powell's hold on Gabe's wife looked a little too chummy for a colleague.
This Christmas party was a year before Stephie was born. He suddenly felt as if a lightning bolt had struck him. What if Vanessa had had an affair? How long had it lasted? Could he be sure Stephie was his?
He sat there for an interminable amount of time, trying to absorb the questions, let alone find the answers. Finally, he put the pictures in the envelope and put the envelope back in the photo album. Then he carried them to the closet and slid them onto the top shelf.
When he went upstairs, he opened the door to Stephie's bedroom and stepped inside. She was an angel, and he'd always thought she was his angel. What if they weren't related by blood? What if he wasn't her biological father?
Though the question was shocking and sobering, he did have an answer. Biology didn't matter. Stephie was his...forever. He was her dad, and he wouldn't let an unsubstantiated suspicion torment him.
****
Chapter Five
Pushing Stephie on the swing on Sunday afternoon, April watched Gabe as he raked leaves into pile after pile. They were pretending as if last night had never happened, yet they both knew it had. She'd made breakfast, then he'd taken Stephie for a walk. She'd gone for a run and when she returned, he'd made a plate of sandwiches. She'd mixed a chocolate cake to have with supper, and he'd gone outside to rake leaves. Oh, yes, they were avoiding each other, too.
The autumn day was cool, not cold, the sky a brilliant blue, and the sun yellow with pre-winter warmth. After she'd taken the cake out of the oven and set it on a rack to cool, she'd put on her jacket and went outside where Stephie was trying to help Gabe rake with a miniature rake all of her own.
But when she saw April, she came running to her, and asked, "Push me on swing?"
As April pushed, Stephie stuck her feet out in front of her and giggled. The laughter echoed in the crisp air, and April knew Gabe heard it because he looked up from the end of the yard. She was too far away to see into his green eyes, but she remembered how they'd looked last night right before he'd kissed her—deep and dark and mysterious like the passion she wanted to know with him. The thought made her fix her attention on Stephie again and give her another push.
When April's niece tired of swinging, she slid down the sliding board a few times. Then April caught her by the hand and said, "Let's go see if we can help your dad put those leaves in the garbage bags."
With an "okay" Stephie ran toward Gabe, her blond hair glowing golden in the sunlight. April followed Stephie, walking instead of running. She didn't ask Gabe if he wanted help, but rather picked up one of the large black bags and began stuffing leaves into it. Soon Stephie joined her. But suddenly Gabe's daughter decided that throwing the leaves up in the air and watching them float down was a lot more inventive than packing them away.
"I think you're having a lot more fun than we are," April said after Stephie had done it a few times.
Joining in, she picked up a fistful of leaves, threw them up in the air and let them float down on her and Stephie.
Stephie laughed and so did she.
Both of them taking handfuls again, they threw them up and laughed as the leaves tickled their cheeks and landed on their jackets.
After Gabe propped his rake against the tall sycamore trunk, he crossed to them and teased, "I thought you two were helping."
"Helping," Stephie agreed as she took handfuls and threw them up, but not quite far enough to land on him.
"It looks to me as if you're putting them back where I found them."
Gabe needed a little fun in his life, and there was no reason why April couldn't teach him how to have it. Catching him off-guard, she swiped up fistfuls and threw them above his head. A few landed in his hair, the others on his shoulders.
He brushed them off and gave her a mock scowl. "Two can play this game."
He not only filled his hands, but his arms with leaves, tossing the mound high in the air until they fell on all three of them. Stephie giggled and jumped into the pile, making them fly everywhere, while April retaliated by swishing a few towards him like a wave of water. He batted a few back and lifted an armful directly above her head and dropped them so they fell around her like autumn confetti.
She laughed again. "You're going to have to rake them up all over again."
"We're going to have to rake them up all over again."
Their gazes met, and his eyes danced with amused patience. It felt so good to be joking with him...and laughing. "I might help if you promise me we won't have to do this again next week when the rest of the leaves fall to the ground."
His grin was crooked and almost boyish. "We'll just let that batch blow away."
They stared at each other for a few moments, and she wondered what he was thinking. She thought about asking him, but then remembered last night. Gabe had told her what he was thinking then, and she hadn't liked it.
Deciding not to tempt fate a second time, she said, "I'll get another rake," and headed for the storage shed.
Gabe called to her. "April..."
She turned, not knowing what to expect. His expression was so serious for a few seconds, and then it changed as he said, "You have leaves in your hair."
She had a feeling that bit of news wasn't the reason he'd called to her. But if he wanted to keep the afternoon light, she could do that. "If you go look in the mirror, I think you'll find a few in yours, too."
She didn't wait to see if he ran his fingers through his hair but went to get the second rake, liking the feeling of working with him...liking being part of his life.
****
Rain splattered the windows late Monday morning. It had begun with the dawn and looked as if it would last all day. April had made Stephie breakfast, and they'd colored for a while, then read a few stories. But her niece's attention span seemed shorter than usual today.
Going to the kitchen door, Stephie said, "I wanna go outside and play in the leaves."
They usually went outside in the late morning before lunch. But today even a short walk was out of the question. They'd be soaked before they went three feet. "We can't, sweetie. It's raining."
"I wanna go outside," Stephie said again, ignoring April's reason.
April crouched down to Stephie's eye level. "I'll tell you what. I think it's going to rain all day today, but tomorrow, if the sun comes out, we'll play outside a really long time. How's that?"
"I wanna go outside and play with the leaves," Stephie said stubbornly, and her bottom lip quivered.
Not spending long periods of time with Stephie, April had never been faced with her stubbornness before. "We're not going outside today," she said calmly, hoping her firmness would register.
It evidently did because Stephie's face fell, her chin quivered, and she broke into tears.
April was at a loss to know what to do so she did what felt natural. She put her arms around the little girl. "Sweetie, we will go outside again. I promise. Just not today."
But Stephie shook her head. "Daddy'd let me go out." Her tears continued falling and didn't stop, not when April stood, not when she tried to bring a smile to her niece's face with the new puppet, and not when she offered
Stephie lunch. The sobs turned to hiccups and she was inconsolable.
Although April didn't want to bother Gabe at work, she needed some guidance. So she called him. When she explained what had happened, he told her he'd be home in fifteen minutes, and he was.
When he came in the door his daughter ran to him, her pout still in place. "Daddy, Daddy! I wanna go outside."
Scooping her up into his arms, he sat on one of the kitchen chairs and settled her on his lap. "It's raining outside, Pumpkin."
"But I wanna play with the leaves." Her lower lip trembled again and tears welled up in her eyes. Her expression would have melted April.
But Gabe seemed unaffected, and his tone was firm as he asked, "What did April tell you?"
Stephie cast a sideways glance at her aunt. "She said I couldn't."
"That's right. The leaves are messy and soggy and dirty from the rain. And it's damp and chilly. She doesn't want you to get all wet or get a cold."
"I won't get a cold," his daughter protested defiantly.
Gabe didn't get caught up in arguing with her. He just returned to his previous point. "When I'm not here, you must listen to April. She knows what's good for you just as I do. I expect you to do what she says this afternoon, or you're not going to watch TV after supper tonight." He stood and placed her on the chair. "You sit there and think about it. I have to talk to April for a few minutes."
When he cupped April's elbow in his palm and guided her into the foyer, she felt the excitement of having him touch her, of having him close.
Keeping his voice low so Stephie wouldn't hear, he said, "She's testing you."
"She's never done that before."
"You've never taken care of her day after day before. She's just trying to find out how much she can get away with, and how often she can get her own way."
"She's usually such a little angel."
He gave her a wry grin. "Most of the time. But she can be stubborn and downright contrary with the best of them. Don't let those tears fool you. She can turn them on and off."
April's Promise (Forever Love Series) Page 6
