Reflections of Me

by Yumoyori Wilson

  "Why does everyone always blame me for shit?! I've been trying to do everything to make up for what happened at the tower, and yet it’s like you all are blind or something!" Zane snapped back.

  "Duck!" Logan shouted, and Zane looked back just in time to duck to the floor as three flying glasses soared past him and crashed into the wall. Maximus moved me out of the way and we both hurried to the kitchen island where Nixon was.

  Nixon got off the stool and stood protectively in front of me with Maximus doing the same. I rolled my eyes but wasn't going to scold them at the moment. I looked back at Kage who clenched his fists.

  "You, you, you! That's all you fucking care about! Do you even stop to fucking THINK what your 'heroic' actions have done?! You're trying to act like the fucking victim. ALWAYS acting like a damn victim and wanting people's sympathy!" Kage yelled.

  "I was only close to those guys to protect Jewel! Why the fuck are you getting all butt hurt because Nick wants me to come to the fucking party?! What, I should just live here like I'm in jail?! We were going to catch those guys without anyone's help! Jewel wouldn't have gotten hurt," Zane snapped.

  I frowned at his words, unsure if his explanation was true or not. Nixon's hand reached out to find mine, and I held it with my trembling hands. All the shouting was hurting my head but what worried me more was I didn't have any memory of the incident to solve this accurately.

  "Don't fucking try to blame us, ESPECIALLY Jewel! You think you would have been just fine! How can you even trust Nick?! You’re friends with him for one semester, and you can put your fucking life on the line for him versus your own brothers you’ve known your whole life!" Kage screamed.

  "Two brothers, one who is barely home for me to even ask for help, and YOU who fucking ignores me!" Zane argued.

  "Zane, enough!" Brax barked. Kage laughed, the sound sending shivers through me like he was an evil mastermind.

  "Ignore you. Oh, I'm sorry Prince Zane. WHO IGNORED WHO FIRST?! When Braxton got into Brighten and was living his life, you were all miserable saying how you didn't want to be alone. You didn't want to go to Brighten and not have friends like you were experiencing in school! Braxton fucking put his FUTURE on hold for US! Especially your ungrateful ass! He could have gone back with me and left you, but NO! I don't want to be alone, we should stick together like BROTHERS!" Kage shouted.

  "Yet the moment we start school, who goes off on their own to make NEW, COOL FRIENDS? Who abandoned their brothers first? YOU DID, ZANE! And don't you fucking dare start with that Braxton wasn't here bullshit. Brax is ALWAYS cleaning up after your garbage."

  "Kage, enough," Brax replied, using a hushed tone but Kage glared at him.

  "No! Let him hear the fucking truth! I'm tired of you sacrificing everything for us and his ungrateful ass thinking he can use it as an excuse!" Kage retorted.

  "I'm not making excuses, and he's not cleaning up my garbage! I paid my dues, I did some cleaning of the campus, everything is good! Why don't you stop being a hurtful jerk just because I decided to have a few friends without you!" Zane argued.

  "Paid your dues? You're fucking-" Kage took a step forward, and Brax immediately stepped in.

  "Kage! Enough! It's not worth it."

  "Go ahead! Let him do whatever he wants. I'm not afraid of him!" Zane snapped.

  "Brax. Move," Kage said in a deep voice, and the floor felt like it was trembling.

  "Fuck, Brax move. The floor is fucking shaking!" Maxi exclaimed. Nixon took a step forward.

  "Kage. Jewel's here," Nixon said quietly. Kage and Zane both looked at Nixon before noticing I was standing there. Kage lowered his eyes to my hands, and I quickly hid them, knowing they were shaking uncontrollably.

  I wasn't scared of Kage, but all the noise, broken glass, and wild energy was beginning to get to me. Not to forget Alice's anxiety that was starting to bother me, her feelings only heightening my response.

  Kage bit his lip, glaring at Zane once more before he took a deep breath; the remaining pieces of furniture lowered to the ground. The floor stopped trembling, and we all sighed in relief. Logan stepped forward to stand next to Braxton.

  "Guys, this has to stop. Zane, Kage has a serious point. I don't know if Nick can be trusted, even if he tried to help at the tower. We can't trust anyone but each other. This is the second semester, and we really don't have time for parties," Logan explained.

  "Again, you choose Kage’s side over mine!" Zane huffed.

  "Zane, grow up!" Maxi snapped. We all looked at him as he let out a grunt. "You're acting like a fucking two year old right now. Take a moment and listen to what Logan has to say!"

  "There's nothing TO say! Yes, I admit that when those guys had threatened me about hurting Jewel, I should have told you guys, BUT I had everything under control! I didn't ask for anyone's help!" Zane countered.

  "YOU CAN'T FUCKING USE A PROPER WIND SKILL!" Braxton roared. We all stared at him wide-eyed, his lime green eyes now gold.

  "You would have DIED Zane! Dead! You think they were joking? You would have jumped off that tower, attempted to use that skill, and guess what? NO ONE would have helped you! Not even fucking Nick!"

  "You don't fucking know that!" Zane snapped.

  "IT'S ON THE FUCKING REPORT!" Brax snapped back.

  "Report?" I asked, looking at Logan. Nixon sighed and ran a hand over his face.

  "What report?!" Zane shouted.

  "Wow. So you didn't even read the fucking report. Of course, that's our brilliant little brother for you," Kage commented with a laugh.

  "Fuck off, Kage!" Zane countered.

  "No, YOU FUCK OFF ZANE! This is exactly why you always need someone to hold your fucking hand because you can't take five seconds to use that DAMN brain of yours! You don't know anything! You don't know why Brax is never here. You don't know what your actions fucking did to our whole damn family! Yet, you're sobbing and whining that we're ignoring you and NOW you want to be all brotherly after you abandoned us. Everyone always has to sacrifice shit for you, but you can't even see the wrong in the apparent GOOD DEED you did!" Kage argued.

  "It's thanks to me that Jewel wasn't hurt during the school year!"

  "JEWEL CAN TAKE CARE OF HERSELF!" Nixon exclaimed. We all whipped our heads at Nixon who looked just as lethal as Kage did.

  "That's literally your excuse. I protected Jewel this and that?! LOOK!" Nixon snapped. The guys looked at me and I frowned, unsure what Nixon was trying to point out.

  "She's fucking frightened right now! What did Savannah say when she sat all of us fucking down?! Anything can trigger her seizures! Bursts of anxiety, super loud noises, energy exhaustion. Fuck, did no one pay attention?" Nixon snapped.

  Logan frowned, appearing hurt by Nixon's words. I knew Logan understood my health the most, but with him trying to referee the situation, it definitely slipped his mind.

  Nixon turned to Zane. "Fuck Zane, just stop and think! You're saying everyone is taking Kage's side. WHY? What would make us all take his side? Maybe because he's seeing the BIG picture. You wanna know why Braxton's always busy or out? He's fucking working! You call yourself a brother, but you can't even take five seconds out of your self-pity to see what your brothers are even doing for you?! People WISH, no DREAM, to have siblings who give a shit about them! Let alone Braxton who works in silence without any reward. Now Kage is trying to help you see what the real problem is and you're thinking everyone is choosing sides!"

  Nixon walked up to Zane and punched him. We were all speechless, and Zane looked even more shocked.

  "Now that I've punched you, maybe you'll snap out of whatever lies those ex-friends fed you. When Jewel fell off that tower, what did you do?"

  Zane was quiet, his right eye already beginning to bruise from the punch. Nixon huffed. "Exactly. You stood there watching her fall. Not because you didn't have the guts to jump. It was because you didn't stand a fucking chance to reach her in time. Your weakest element is wind. Instead of being a hero, you'd be a casualty," N
ixon revealed.

  "I..." Zane trailed off.

  "Exactly. All those friends fed you the whole ’you can do it’ bullshit. REAL friends tell you where your flaws are and help you fix them! Not throw you off a fucking tower and say fly. Jewel could have handled whatever shit those assholes were planning. You know why I know that? Because we're not her babysitters! She can fucking change into a guy and defend herself, and if you had told us, we would have taken the right precautions to avoid ALL of that. Instead, you got caught up in feeling wanted and loved by people who don't give a shit about you. You know where your real friends are? RIGHT HERE. People who have to fucking punch you before you understand how lucky you are not to be alone! I wished to have a family who'd even look my way, let alone care for my wellbeing. Grow the fuck up before you lose everyone you care about!"

  Nixon walked away, and in seconds we heard the slam of the door. Logan bit his lip before he cursed. "I'm going after Nixon," Logan said, but walked over to me.

  He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. "You okay?" he whispered.

  "Ya. No seizure feeling. Go check on Nixon. I don't want him alone right now," I admitted.

  With what he'd just said and did, I realized something had hit a nerve, and from his words, I knew it had to be about his past. What happened to you Nixon? How troubled was your childhood?

  Logan nodded, pulling back to give me a quick kiss before he dashed off after Nixon, the door closing shut in seconds. The room was silent before Kage whispered.

  "Mom has cancer."

  Zane's eye widened, and his expression was a mixture of confusion, anger, and sadness.

  "What?"

  "Kage, don't-" Brax began, but Kage shook is head.

  "I'm not babying him anymore, Brax. You shouldn't be either. You want to know why Brax has been working his ass off, picking up every job he can find? After the tower incident, your ‘friends’ spread rumors that YOU were the reasons Jewel got hurt," Kage confessed.

  Zane visibly swallowed and opened his mouth to speak, but Kage shook his head. "No. I'm not gonna hear any excuse you have. Dad lost his job because of those rumors, and the people who were raising money for Mom's treatment after she disclosed she was sick, donated the money to a random charity. Why? Because they don't support bullies or the better term, murderers," Kage explained.

  "Does...Mom think..." Zane trailed off.

  "They did. What do you expect them to believe when everyone's talking and spreading the same rumor? If it weren’t for Jewel, they would probably still believe them. It didn't matter if Brax and I said otherwise because we're family. But Jewel and Alice had to explain everything before our parents believed you were innocent. Either way, the harm is already done. Dad lost his job, and we don't have any more savings, Zane. You happy now? See why I'm so fucking pissed at you?" Kage exclaimed.

  Zane nodded and looked to the floor. "Sorry."

  "Sorry. That's exactly what you do when you finally see the light. Fix it, Zane. Fix the shit you've caused. When you're ready to be my brother and put family first, then we'll talk," Kage whispered.

  He headed for the stairs but stopped. He turned around and walked over to me. "Sorry, Jewel. I didn't mean to scare you or Alice. I'll apologize to her when I get upstairs." Kage wrapped his arms around me, enveloping me in his warm embrace. I nodded, squeezing him back.

  "It's fine, Kage. I'm okay," I reassured him. He placed a gentle kiss on my neck and pulled back with a sad expression.

  I gave him the best smile I could, lifting my hand to brush against his cheek. "I'm fine. I'm not mad. Go make sure Koa and Alice are okay."

  He nodded, blinking back his tears. I gave him a tender kiss on the lips before he pulled away and headed towards the stairs. Once we heard the door from upstairs close, Brax sighed.

  "Maximus. Can you help me clean up?" he asked.

  "Sure," Maxi replied. Brax looked at Zane who stood staring at the floor as he absorbed the news.

  "Zane, can you take Jewel to Savannah?" Brax asked. Zane nodded.

  "I don't need to go to Savannah," I grumbled. Maxi sighed, walking over to me. I looked up at him with a defiant glare, but he kissed me, pulling back to give me a sad look.

  "Sorry, Precious. This is a non-negotiable request. We don't want you experiencing a delayed reaction to all of this and having a seizure. Go get checked. Please?" Maxi suggested.

  I wanted to fight, but I was exhausted by all the arguing. My head was still pounding which wasn't a good sign. "Fine."

  Zane headed to the door, not saying a word, and Maxi started moving the furniture to make sure all the glass shards were picked up from the hidden places. Brax ruffled his hair before he rubbed his eyes.

  I walked over to him and gave him a quick hug. "You okay?" I whispered, noticing he looked paler than normal.

  "Ya. I'm good. Go get checked. I'm in your bed tonight, so if you come back, I'll be napping." I nodded in understanding, but his words didn't take away my concern for him.

  He sighed again and hugged me tightly. "Don't give me that worried look, Precious. Cleaning up won't take long, especially with Maximus' help. Go get checked and enjoy some air."

  "You sure?"

  "Positive," he replied.

  "Okay. I love you," I whispered.

  "I love you too." He kissed me once on the lips and then on the nose as well.

  "I also love you, Jewel!" Maxi emphasized, causing both of us to grin.

  "Love you too, Maxi," I replied with a soft giggle.

  All I wanted was for us to get along. The tension had built until it was too late, and now it felt like everyone was separated into teams. Can't we get back to how it used to be?

  "We'll be back in a few," I announced, heading to the door.

  I paused at the entrance and closed my eyes, shifting back into my male form with little issue. I did feel tired, but I'd at least have enough magic to stay in my form for a few hours now that I'd had a little break.

  Zane opened the door for me and we headed out, slowly closing it behind us. I looked at Zane who had a blank expression on his face. I took a deep breath and reached out to grab his hand.

  He glanced out our joined hands. "People are gonna see," he whispered.

  "Does that bother you?" I asked.

  "No," he replied.

  "Then let them see."

  We walked onto the main sidewalk, and I directed us to a back route to the school. Once I decided it was a good time to talk to Zane, I turned to face him.

  "Zane?"

  He swallowed, his guarded expression still present. I placed my hands on his shoulders. "Zane. You can cry if you want. Or scream. Just don't bottle it in."

  "I'm sorry Jinn," he whispered. "I'm sorry...I...I thought...they said I was cool. They said how I was strong and had so much potential. I never expected it would lead to this."

  "I know. They fed you what you wanted to hear."

  Zane raised his head to look into my eyes; a tear rolled down from his dark green eyes.

  "Mom...is dying...and Dad lost his job because of me. You got hurt...and Brax is probably fed up with me. I used to do everything with Kage, but now he's the one getting the attention from real friends and classmates, and I'm alone. My grades are shit right now...and I may lose everything. Will I lose you too?" he asked, more tears rolling down his cheeks.

  The desperation and fear in those emerald eyes made tears pool in my own eyes as I pulled him into a hug. "I'm not going anywhere silly. I may not remember everything about you...it could take some time, but I want to try again. We can fix this. I know we can," I whispered.

  He nodded into my shoulder as sobs began to escape him. "I'm sorry," he cried.

  I rubbed his back and closed my eyes, letting my tears fall as I comforted him the best I could as a man.

  We'll fix this. We have to for the sake of our team.

  "It's good you came by. The meds should help with your headache, and you're clear from seizures. Lay down for a few minutes
, and then you're free to go home. I'll talk with Ms. Landsford to see if you can be excused during the second half of your classes on Wednesdays," Savannah stated.

  "You don't have to. I'm fine," I argued, but Savannah shook her head.

  "Your magic is straining, Jewel. It's going to be hard for you to maintain Jinn if you keep up at this pace. You aren't giving your body enough time to replenish your mana. Even if you have a large amount, everyone has a limit. I also suggest Alice uses very little magic until I can give you the all-clear."

  "What happens if Jewel continues as is?" Zane asked.

  "Jinn Starfire may fade away permanently. Jewel won't be able to switch between genders. I'm already impressed with how long you've been able to switch back and forth. It's a demonstration of how powerful you are, which is both good and bad," Savannah replied.

  "Why would it be bad?" I asked.

  "The more powerful an individual is, the more at risk they are. There are plenty of Mage Warriors who'd dream to change their appearance with magic, let alone still have enough mana to function normally and cast spells. That's only one of your abilities, which you'll learn when you become a Mage Warrior yourself. You're truly gifted Jewel, and a lot of it comes from your parents. Just be careful." Savannah gave me a small smile.

  I nodded before I lowered my body back down and laid against the pillows of the bed.

  "I'll be off. Zane, make sure she goes straight to bed when you two get home," Savannah advised.

  "Understood. Thank you," he replied. She grinned, turned around, and headed for the door. I let out a long sigh and closed my eyes.

  "I don't like nurses," I mumbled.

  "Why?" Zane asked.

  "They're always so caring and concerned about people they don't know," I admitted.

  "Isn't that a good thing?" Zane asked.

  "Sometimes. I guess I'm a bit antsy with what she said."

  Zane was quiet for a moment. "Do you want to talk about it? We have a few minutes of chill time before we head home," Zane suggested.