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On Fire’s Wings

Page 35

by Christie Golden


  He sighed, and she knew he had understood her unspoken refusal. “I feared you would say that.” He continued watching Meli play with Sahlik. “There’s my chance for redemption, Kevla. Sweet and innocent and perfect. I sacrificed her to the Great Dragon, and beyond all hope, he has given her back to me. I used to believe that the Dragon had cursed me, but now I know it was only my own folly.” His voice trembled slightly. “I no longer believe in curses, but by all that is good in this world, I believe in blessings.”

  Kevla was deeply moved. She regarded her father steadily, taking in the strong features that so reminded her of Jashemi.

  She squeezed his arm and he turned to look at her. “Tahmu-kha-Rakyn,” she said evenly, “I will take your name.”

  Slowly, his lips curved in a smile. “It was Jashemi’s name,” he said.

  “May his name forever be spoken,” Kevla said, as she leaned over and kissed her father’s cheek.

  The dawn was crisp and bright, a good omen. The clans were preparing for departure, breaking down the encampments. She had assisted them in a solemn duty before she had slept that night; lighting the funeral pyres for the honored dead. There had not been as many as she had feared, but enough so that the task was heartbreaking.

  She was walking toward the Dragon, carrying a small bundle of provisions Sahlik had packed for her, when a woman approached her and said, “Kevla-sha-Tahmu?”

  The name still sounded so strange, but also very sweet. Kevla turned to see who had addressed her and saw tears in the woman’s eyes.

  “My name is Shali-sha-Terku.” Kevla hoped her face did not register the sudden shock she felt. This was Jashemi’s wife, the one he said he did not love, who deserved better.

  She found her voice. “I know your name,” Kevla said. “You are…you are my brother’s widow.”

  Shali nodded and placed one hand on her belly. She seemed to be a naturally thin woman, yet her stomach was starting to grow round—

  “Can you tell me how he died?”

  Guilt weighed Kevla down. To confess to this woman that she had lain with her husband, Kevla’s own kin, would heal nothing and harm much. And though she had once burned with jealousy for Shali, now that she saw the woman and her pain, the only feeling Kevla had for her sister-in-law was compassion. Yet she could not lie. Gently, Kevla took Shali’s hand in her own.

  “Jashemi was my Lorekeeper, though neither of us knew it for too long,” she said. “He helped me to discover who I truly am. In so doing, I lost control of my powers and…I killed him.”

  It still hurt her so badly she had difficulty breathing. Shali’s hands tightened painfully on hers, squeezing so hard that Kevla wondered if the bones would break.

  “You…?”

  Kevla nodded. She kept her eyes glued to Shali’s. “I have known no greater pain in this life than having to live with this. I didn’t want to live with it. But I have to, because Arukan needed me. Other people elsewhere need me, need the Dancers, or else we are all doomed.”

  “I should hate you,” Shali whispered. “You killed my husband, the father of my baby. But I don’t. I see your suffering. To have bought your power at such a cost—I do not envy you, Kevla-sha-Tahmu, no matter that you ride the Great Dragon.”

  Kevla smiled sadly. “Then you are wise indeed, Shali-sha-Terku. The basest beggar on the streets is happier than I.”

  “Did…did Jashemi speak of me?”

  “He did,” Kevla said. “He said you deserved better than him.”

  Shali laughed, though she was starting to cry. “Then Jashemi-kha-Tahmu was a liar. I could have had no better man for my husband in this world.”

  Shali began to weep in earnest. Her heart breaking for the girl, for both of them, Kevla took her in her arms and hugged her gently. Shali was smaller than she, and Kevla felt the wetness of tears on her shoulder.

  “Be easy, sister,” Kevla said. “I will tell you this and you may know that it is true: His body is gone, but his soul is free. He would want you to be happy, to raise your child in love and peace.”

  Your child. Any chance that Kevla had conceived during their single union had been shattered that same night. The fire that had claimed Jashemi had surely also destroyed any seed he might have planted in her womb. If there were to be any heritage from Jashemi, it would come from this woman.

  “That is a comfort,” said Shali, pulling back and wiping her wet face. “To know that his soul is free.”

  I’m glad you find it so, Kevla thought. If only I could take comfort in it.

  “Will you return? To see your niece or nephew?”

  “I hope to, but I cannot tell,” Kevla said. She bent and kissed Shali on the forehead. “Stay well, my sister. Blessings on the child you carry.”

  Slowly Kevla walked to where the Dragon waited for her. He looked at her with compassionate eyes and lowered himself to facilitate her climbing atop his back.

  Kevla looked around and despite her pain smiled at what she saw. Everywhere, the former kulis had found parents or siblings or even strangers to welcome them. Women mixed freely with the men. On the hard-packed, yellow earth were colorful veils some of the women had discarded. Others kept their veils.

  Good, Kevla thought. A woman should be the one who gets to choose to reveal her face or not. At least there is no Great Dragon dictating to her.

  Time would tell if this would last. Old habits were hard to break, and it might take a while before some of the older clansmen learned to accept former demons as children, wives as true partners, and the lower-born among them as equals.

  But it was a good start.

  “Are you ready, my dear?” said the Dragon, craning his neck to look at her with infinite affection.

  She nodded. “I am ready,” she said.

  Her people cheered her as she rose into the sky, waving goodbye. Kevla saw her father holding Meli’s hand in his own large, strong one. He placed his other hand on his heart as their eyes met. And she saw Sahlik, and Shali, rubbing the round belly that was filled with Jashemi’s son or daughter.

  They would be all right without her. Life would go on here. It was up to her and the other Dancers she was setting out to find to ensure that life went on everywhere in this and other worlds.

  She lifted her gaze from the rapidly dwindling images of her people and fixed her eyes on the horizon, her heart lifting with every beat of the Dragon’s powerful wings.

  GLOSSARY

  Akana: rider of the Hawk Clan

  Arukan: the name of the country

  Arukani: native to Arukan

  Asha: apprentice to Maluuk, a healer

  Bahrim: obsequious uhlal

  Bai: generic term for Bai-khas and Bai-shas

  Bai-kha: “male without father,” derogatory term for illegitimate boy or man

  Bai-sha: “female without father,” derogatory term for illegitimate girl or woman

  Balaan: root, served raw or cooked, particularly in stews

  Baram: member of the Sa’abah Clan

  Clan, Cattle

  Clan, Horserider

  Clan of the Four Waters

  Clan, River

  Clan, Sa’abah

  Clan, Sheep

  Clan, Star

  Clan, Warcry

  Dragon, Great: see Great Dragon

  Dumah: servant, member of the Clan of the Four Waters

  eusho: a hot, bitter drink that takes time to prepare

  five-score: slave/servants captured in battle. For each year they serve, they are “scored” on the arm. At the last score, they are freed.

  Great Dragon: the keeper of the morals of the people of Arukan

  halaan: slang for “prostitute”

  Jalik: Second of the Star Clan

  Jashemi-kha-Tahmu: Tahmu’s son, Kevla’s half brother

  Keishla: Kevla’s mother, a prostitute, Tahmu’s great love

  Kevla Bai-Sha: illegitimate daughter of Tahmu and Keishla

  kha: unit of money, gold

  -kha-: �
�son of”

  khashim: Lord of a clan; plural khashims

  khashima: Lady of a clan

  khashimu: the young heir, prince

  kurjah: Arukani term for the male organ

  kuli: demon

  liah: gazelle-like creature

  Maluuk: Healer of the Clan of the Four Waters

  Melaan: Second of the Sa’abah Clan

  Mirya: Sa’abah tender

  Naram: Jashemi’s uncle, Yeshi’s brother

  paraah: sweet, thick-skinned fruit, usually peeled

  Pela: Jashemi’s aunt, Yeshi’s sister-in-law

  Raka: young lord of Sa’abah Clan

  Rakyn: Tahmu’s father

  Ranna: young handmaiden to Yeshi

  rhia: a flowing garment worn by both sexes. Men’s rhias are shorter and worn with loose breeches

  Rusan: Yeshi’s father

  sa’abah: desert animals with long, fluffy tails, long legs with broad feet, small “hands” and long ears

  Sahlik: head servant of the Clan of the Four waters, five-score

  sandcattle: cattle that survive well in the desert

  Sammis: Jashemi’s cousin

  -sha-: “daughter of”

  shakaal: long horns, blown at moments of high ceremony or great import

  Shamizan: board game with colored glass stones

  Sharu: five-score

  simmar: big cat of the desert

  skuura: female dog; used as an epithet

  sulim: Arukani term for female genitalia

  Swift-Over-Sand: Tahmu’s horse

  Tahmu-kha-Rakyn: Kevla’s father, khashim of the Clan of the Four Waters

  Terku: leader of the Sa’abah Clan

  Tiah: voluptuous handmaiden of Yeshi

  uhlal: term of respect; “gentleman” or “sir”

  uhlala: female term; “lady” or “ma’am”

  Yeshi: wife of Tahmu, mother of Jashemi

  Yuma: Jalik’s friend

  ON FIRE’S WINGS

  ISBN: 978-1-5525-4563-8

  Copyright © 2004 by Christie Golden

  First paperback printing: August 2006

  First trade printing: July 2004

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Worldwide Library, 233 Broadway, New York, NY 10279 U.S.A.

  All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

  This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

  ® and TM are trademarks of Harlequin Books S.A., used under license. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.

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