Raw

by Jo Davis

  “Shh, partner. It’s me.”

  Turning his head, Gray focused on the figure next to him. “Simon?”

  “Yep. Stop talking and get well, okay?”

  “Where’s Anna?”

  “She can’t be here right now, but I’m sure she’ll come soon. Sleep, bro.”

  He didn’t want to. But he was helpless against the tide that pulled him under.

  Anna. Please, come back.

  5

  For two agonizing days, Anna debated going back to the hospital. She had to see Gray, but she didn’t know what to say. How to move past how he’d played her. Even if it was in the name of the law.

  Several of her employees had been arrested in the raid, including a waiter, some kitchen staff, and one of Ethan’s sous-chefs. She was disheartened by the betrayals all around her, but glad they’d been caught. A load of cocaine with a street value of millions was seized from the basement of the restaurant’s building, and the FBI was enjoying some rare glory.

  Except for the part where Gray had almost died.

  She hadn’t forgiven him yet. Didn’t know if she ever could. Even if she did, she didn’t know if a relationship with him could survive the taint.

  “Sweetie, you’re wearing a hole in the carpet. Why don’t you go see him?”

  Turning, she faced her mom. “I don’t know what I’d say. I haven’t forgiven him yet, but I still have feelings for him,” she said miserably.

  Her mother was silent for a moment. Anna could tell she was chewing on something.

  “What?” she prompted.

  “What if you saw him, then got out of town for a while. You can tell him you need time to think.”

  She stared at her mom. “And what? Just leave the restaurant and go on vacation?”

  “Why not?” Warming to her idea, Margaret grabbed her hands. “God knows Ethan can handle the staff. I’ll take care of Sterling. Gray’s going to survive and he’s in good hands. You can’t be what he wants right now, so take some time to yourself. Then come back when you know.”

  “I can’t ask him to hang around waiting for me to decide,” she protested. “It’s not fair to him.”

  “Why not? You didn’t start this, and he didn’t have to go so far in doing his job to catch his bad guys. If he loves you as much as he claims, he’ll wait.”

  “Do you hate him now?”

  Her face softened. “No, baby. I don’t. Do you?”

  “No. If I did, it wouldn’t hurt so much.” The damned tears welled again, and her lip quivered.

  “Oh, honey.”

  “I don’t know what to say to him.”

  “Write it down,” her mother said suddenly. “Sit down and write him a letter. Deliver it in person, then go on your trip.”

  Anna thought about that. Finally, she nodded. “All right. I’ll do it.”

  “Good for you. I’ll help you make all the arrangements.”

  Anna sat at her desk and struggled over the right words. About a half hour later, she had managed to compose a letter that told Gray how she felt. One she hoped gave her time to get her shit together and didn’t slam the door completely.

  At the hospital, nerves assailed her as her shoes squeaked down the corridor, drawing closer to his room. To her relief, there was nobody there visiting him, no witnesses to their pain.

  The air rushed out of her as she saw that Gray was asleep. His chest was rising and falling with every breath. He was so pale, his lashes fanned on his cheeks. So handsome, and so vulnerable lying there after fighting to survive.

  A wave of emotion, one she didn’t want to name, nearly stole her strength. Moving to a chair, she sat and watched over him for the longest time, but he didn’t wake. Maybe that was a sign. This was for the best. She had to go while she still could.

  Removing the letter from her purse, she lay the envelope on the bedside table. Then she stood and kissed his slack lips.

  And walked away.

  ***

  Gray awoke so damned thirsty, he could hardly stand it. His mouth was dry as cotton.

  It took him a few moments to get oriented. He’d been having a dream. A nice one, where Anna had come to see him, had kissed him. He could still feel the love lingering around him, almost as if it had been real.

  Glancing at the table, he searched for his water glass. Instead, he spotted an envelope propped against the pitcher. On it was written his name.

  Hand shaking, he took the envelope. With some effort, he managed to get it open. It took longer to actually be able to focus his blurry eyes on the words, and when he did, he wished he’d been blind.

  Gray,

  By the time you read this, I’ll be on a plane. I need to get out of town for a while, get my head together. I know you’ll think this is an attempt to hurt you like you hurt me, but that’s not the case at all.

  You were doing your job. I understand that. You had to catch the men involved in the drug ring, and I’m glad you did. In the end, you saved my business.

  But it’s the rest I can’t put out of my mind. I was falling for you, hard. If I weren’t, I wouldn’t be so lost at finding out you weren’t who I thought. That I was just a suspect you needed information from, at least in the beginning. I know you fell for me, too, but you still played me. You went too far.

  As for what happened in my office, seeing you kill two men frightened me. Worse, seeing you almost die—that terrified me more than anything. So much that I can’t sleep. Even if I can forgive you, even if I can give us another chance, you’re still Grayson Sloane, FBI agent. Your enemies will try to kill you.

  And one day, if one of them succeeds, I wouldn’t survive losing you. Not like that. I don’t have it in me to take that chance with my heart.

  Maybe I’m a coward for cutting my losses, but I can’t deal with all of this. I need time to think, and as hard as it is for me to say, I don’t expect you to wait for me. I honestly hope you find what you’re looking for.

  Heal fast, please. I’m so glad you’re going to be okay.

  Love,

  Anna

  “I already found what I’m looking for,” he whispered. The letter fell from his hand, and his eyes burned. Inside, he was scraped raw and bleeding.

  “And I won’t be okay until you come home.”

  ***

  Anna was sprawled in a lounger on the white sand of Aruba, soaking up the Caribbean sun.

  Too bad it couldn’t melt the chill inside.

  Three days she’d been here, and she was no closer to an answer. She used the time to relax and unwind from the stress of what had happened in New York. Stress from making the restaurant successful, too, pouring her heart and soul into the place. She hadn’t realized how tightly wound she’d been from that alone.

  Should she call Gray? She missed him. But would that solve anything, or just make things worse? She didn’t know what to do.

  “Excuse me, is this seat taken?”

  Shielding her eyes, she peered up at the man standing under her grass umbrella. Her mouth immediately went dry.

  The man smiling down at her had tanned skin, natural, if she had her guess. Raven hair was swept back from a face that would make Antonio Banderas weep from shame, and his teeth were a slash of white in his angular face. He was tall and wearing Speedo swim trunks that barely covered the essentials and left not one thing to the imagination.

  More than being gorgeous, he was imposing. Even mostly naked, he had a commanding presence that suggested his question was a mere formality. He’d asked to sit next to her, but he clearly expected her assent. The old Anna would’ve bristled and snarled a rejection, but she’d come here to relax, after all. Who said she couldn’t do that while talking with a sexy man?

  And he was the most stunning man she’d ever met—except for Gray. Quickly, she pushed that name aside.

  “Who’s asking?” she said, keeping her tone playful. Light.

  His smile deepened, revealing grooves bracketing his mouth that she suddenly wanted to t
race with her tongue. “I’m Joaquin,” he said. “And you?”

  “I’m Anna.” She studied him, cocking her head.

  “Is something wrong?”

  “No, it’s just . . .” She shrugged. “I thought I’d heard that name before recently. It’s kind of unusual. So, what brings a man like you over here to talk to me?”

  “I’ll confess: I’ve been watching you since I arrived yesterday.” He took a seat without waiting for confirmation that he was welcome.

  She arched a brow. “Oh? Stalking much?”

  He shook his head ruefully. “No. It’s just that you have the saddest eyes I’ve seen in quite a while. I’d like to know if there’s anything I can do to change that.”

  At first she thought he was kidding, or just hitting on her. But in the depths of his riveting black eyes, she read understanding. Sincerity.

  “You seem like you really mean that.”

  “I do,” he said quietly. Turning, he waved a hand at a bulky man she hadn’t noticed standing just behind them. “Get me and Anna something from the bar. Something fruity with rum for her, Jack and Coke for me.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  She snorted a laugh, eyeing him. “Really? You have a lackey to play fetch for you?”

  “He’s my bodyguard. He does what I pay him to do.” Said as though it was quite normal to relax on the beach with a bodyguard.

  In spite of herself, she was intrigued. “Do you always take charge? What if I wanted something else to drink?”

  “Do you?”

  “Well, no. It was a rhetorical question.”

  His lips quirked. “There you go. So tell me, Anna . . . can I help put a happy smile back on your beautiful face?”

  She studied the gorgeous man beside her and thought, What could it hurt? Live a little, Anna. That was her new mantra, the one that had been drilled into her head.

  “I think perhaps I’ll let you try.”

  His smile heated her inside, chasing away the chill. Their drinks arrived, and Joaquin handed her the fruity concoction. Then he raised his own plastic cup in a toast.

  “That’s a start, Anna. A very good start.”

  ***

  Gray was going home tomorrow. Thank God.

  He was in bed, flipping through channels on the wall-mounted TV, when Simon strode in, a serious expression on his face. Whatever he had to say, it wasn’t good. Gray sat up too fast and winced in pain. He had plenty more healing to do when he got out of here and had to move cautiously.

  “Careful, partner.” Simon took a seat by the bed. “You could rip something.”

  “Don’t stall. Did you find out where Anna went?”

  Simon blew out a breath. “Yeah. A resort in Aruba.”

  “So what’s with the face? You look like someone just died.”

  “Someone might when you find out the rest.”

  Dread seeped into his heart. “Lay it on me straight.”

  “Joaquin Delacruz is in Aruba. He arrived at the resort two days after Anna got there.”

  Anger burned inside him, but he kept it in check. Facts first. “Is he going after her because of me? Because I helped take down Manny?”

  “I don’t know, man. What I do know is he’s getting awfully chummy with her, doing his best to get close. Real close.”

  Anger swept into rage in a single heartbeat, and he shoved the covers off him. “If he touches her, I’m going to kill that motherfucker.”

  “What are you doing?” Simon asked in alarm. “You can’t go after him. You’ll either set back your recovery or you’ll really kill each other.”

  “That’s a chance I’ll have to take.” Standing, he fought off a wave of sickness and pain. “Get me my damned pants.”

  “No. The only place you’re going is home, and even then you’re on bed rest. There’s no way you’ll be cleared to fly, much less out of the country, and you know it.”

  The truth seeped in slowly, and it was killing him. Easing back into the bed, he clenched his fists in the sheets. “When I’m out of here, I’m going to take care of Delacruz for good. The question is, are you with me? If not, stay the fuck out of my way.”

  Simon’s jaw clenched. After a pause, he stated, “When you’re healed, I’m in. Somebody has to watch your stupid back.”

  “Good enough.” That would have to do. For now.

  Joaquin fucking Delacruz. Using Anna to get to Gray. To take their hatred to a whole new level.

  Well, Gray would play the billionaire’s game. Just this one last time.

  Joaquin, going legit? He didn’t believe that for a second. He was going to find the elusive proof he needed.

  Then Gray would bury that son of a bitch alive.

  Keep reading for a sneak peek at Book 2 in the TORN BETWEEN TWO LOVERS trilogy

  RISKY

  Available from InterMix November 2013

  Beautiful Anna. She was only supposed to be a pawn in his long-running game with Agent Grayson Sloane.

  Joaquin had come to Aruba to seduce and use her. But five minutes in her company and he couldn’t go through with it. It didn’t take him any time at all to learn just how big a blow Gray must have suffered to lose her, and that he wouldn’t make the same mistakes if he could help it. He wanted Anna.

  Slipping his tongue into her mouth, he relished her taste, the feel of her curves pressed into his body. She wasn’t a delicate woman, but rather lush in all the right places, and only three inches or so shy of his own height. He adored that about her. He’d never been attracted to frail women, and Anna was strong. Inside as well as out.

  Pulling back briefly, he broke the kiss and stroked one cheek, pushed a lock of dark hair from her face. Big brown eyes met his, and something stirred in him that he’d believed wasn’t possible. For as long as he could recall, he’d needed no one but his family and close friends. He didn’t want to need anyone else—because there was a grain of truth to the saying that once you were in his world, there was no getting out. His enemies had long memories, and some an even longer reach. Letting himself care about someone could be dangerous.

  And yet he didn’t want to think about that right now. Didn’t want to let go. So he kissed her again, slow and deep, with all the pent-up passion he’d been saving for months. Years. He’d been lonely forever, it seemed. Oh, he’d indulged in one-night stands here and there, but nothing compared to this—simply kissing Anna under the moonlight with the peaceful sound of the ever-moving ocean providing background music.

  His cock plumped in his pants, growing with his desire. Heat was building rapidly between them, and he’d have her in bed in about five seconds if he wasn’t careful. For once, he wanted to take his time—even if his dick wasn't quite on board with that plan just yet.

  “Anna,” he said hoarsely. “God, what you do to me.”

  “I’ve been wanting to do that all evening.”

  Her confession made him swell inside. “Really? I would never have guessed.”

  “I play my cards close to the vest these days.”

  “Sometimes it’s worth taking a risk to reap the rewards, though.”

  Hand in hand, they continued their stroll through the gardens and along the edge of the beach. The beauty of this night, being next to Anna, made him want to open up. Something he rarely did.

  “When I was young, I wanted to be a fighter pilot,” he said quietly. “That was my dream.”

  He didn’t look at her, but felt her sudden attention. He’d be willing to bet the almighty Agent Sloane didn’t have that written anywhere in his notes. Surprise, Joaquin is human. We don’t all get what we want in life, even if we have vaults of money.

  She squeezed his hand. “Why didn’t you go after it, if that’s what you really wanted?”

  “My father wouldn’t even discuss it.” He couldn’t keep the bitterness from his voice. “Delacruz men don’t leave the family business to go out in the world and do their own thing. Especially me, since I’m the oldest.”

  “I’ve h
eard of patriarchs who rule their families like that, but as much as I can empathize, I can’t say I understand what that must’ve been like. Why not just do it anyway? Would he have harmed you?”

  “Not physically. No, his threats were designed to hit us where it really counted—with family. I could have survived on my own without a dime to my name, started fresh, but he knew the loss of my inheritance wasn’t a big enough deterrent. He said he’d cut me off from my brothers and sister, and he would’ve done it.”

  “But they could have contacted you eventually.”

  “And in the interim, he would’ve been hard at work poisoning them against me. That wasn’t a risk I was willing to take.”

  “You love your siblings so much, you gave up everything for them,” she said softly. “And you claim you’re not a good man.”

  “I’m not. But I do love them, even if my brothers have more of our father in them than could possibly be healthy.”

  “You could hand the businesses over to them now,” she pointed out. “Then you’d be free to go anywhere in the world, do anything you wanted to do.”

  He smiled sadly. “Manny’s already going to serve time for the operation at your restaurant. Even when he gets out, if I let them have the reins, he and Rio would be locked in a battle for control that I can guarantee would not end well. Manny has our father’s ruthless ambition, but little of his insight. Rio thinks more like me when it comes to legitimizing our name, but he’s the youngest and would be expected to defer to Manny’s judgment.”

  “That’s so archaic!”

  “True, but that’s the way it works.”

  “Not necessarily, if you decided to change it. If you handed things over to Rio while Manny is in prison, sort of took him under your wing and groomed him . . .”

  Glancing at her, he laughed. “What could Manny do about it, right? Miss Claire, you do have a bit of an sly streak in you. But maybe that’s why we get along so well, since I’ve already thought of that.”