Bucket List To Love

by C. P. Santi

  “Huh?”

  “This. The path, the water basin, the gate . . . separation and connection . . . a meeting place for the traditional and modern. We can use the concept of the middle.”

  “Liminality. Being in between.” Ryo nodded. He looked like he was already mentally sifting through design possibilities.

  “Exactly. Existing in a pocket of space that’s between two worlds.” Aya looked at him. “What do you think?”

  “It’s good.” Ryo nodded slowly as he looked at her. “Talk about a bolt of inspiration.”

  “You think it could work?” On impulse, she grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

  Ryo squeezed back. “Definitely.”

  And as bells tolled, and melodious chanting filled the air, Aya and Ryo stood side by side, hand in hand, observing the montage of people, nature, and architecture.

  As the warmth of his hand enveloped her own, she felt as if they were on the brink of something important. What exactly, she didn't know. But she had a feeling it wasn’t all about architecture.

  Chapter 10

  Aya leaned back in the water and breathed in deeply. This was the life.

  The sento was almost empty. The two old women who had been Aya’s only companions had left a few minutes ago. She could still hear their muted conversation while they dressed in the changing room.

  All alone now, Aya relaxed. This had been the perfect time to come. After all, lounging naked in front of strangers was something she hadn’t been looking forward to. And the sento or Japanese baths had required going the full monty.

  Aya had read up on sento customs before she mustered up the courage to visit one. She had made the trip alone. She didn’t think she’d be able to strip in front of people she knew. Strangers were better—at least she’d never see them again.

  Though she’d known what to expect, she still felt a twinge of shyness as she disrobed. She folded her clothes neatly and placed them in a basket.

  What if her clothes were gone when she came back?

  As she stood deliberating, an old lady came out of the baths, droplets of water still clinging to her naked body. Her eyes met Aya’s and then moved uninterestedly on.

  Aya took a deep breath and headed in. Beyond the frosted sliding doors of the changing room were rows of wooden stools in front of low counters. There was a detachable showerhead in front of each stool. Containers of soap, shampoo, and conditioner were placed at regular intervals.

  Sitting on a stool, she began to wash. As she bathed, she surreptitiously looked around. Everything was clean and shiny. At the end of the room, steam wafted off the enormous tiled tub. Two women sat at one end, towels on their heads, chatting comfortably. After she rinsed off, Aya stood and headed toward the tub. The women nodded in greeting as she stepped in, but otherwise ignored her as they continued their conversation.

  Was it supposed to be this hot?

  Aya thought she was being boiled alive. After a minute or so, her body adjusted to the temperature and she relaxed against the walls of the tub.

  The water felt amazing. Hard muscles slowly relaxed and knots of tension disappeared.

  Aya closed her eyes in contentment. She had definitely earned this.

  For the past few weeks, they had been working nonstop. Aya had met her match in Ryo. He could be as obsessive-compulsive as she was when it came to design details. But she enjoyed it. There was a sense of fulfillment as their project slowly took form.

  They had decided on a fluid set of spaces defined by changes in levels and light intensities. Upright stalks of young bamboo further delineated the space and allowed people to either pass through or linger. They incorporated two separate bars, for alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks.

  Ieda-sensei had scheduled a lab critique session for the following week. Teams would present their ideas and talk about their process. Everyone would be invited to comment and Aya hoped they’d be able to get useful feedback from their peers.

  Last week, Ryo had suggested working with study models to better envision the space. They had built and discarded several versions before developing one that they were both happy with. Ryo truly was a talented designer.

  Ryo.

  He was still a bear sometimes, but she had learned to handle him. One of her drawers was filled with snacks she threw at him every time he started to get grumpy. It was kind of like managing a child with an endless appetite.

  In the evenings, they usually had dinner together. Sometimes, April and Reggie or some of their lab mates joined them. She’d gotten to know him pretty well in the past few weeks, and weird eating habits aside, he was pretty cool. He had a sharp, analytical mind that was far more attractive than his smile. And that was saying a lot—that slow smile of his had the butterflies in Aya’s stomach dancing the conga.

  At odd times while they were working, she’d glance up and find him watching her. She’d hold his stare for a few charged seconds before she looked away. It was always difficult to get back in the rhythm of work afterwards. Aya felt edgy and hyper- aware, her insides churning and her heartbeat pounding.

  She couldn’t understand why, but Ryo made her feel things.

  Sure she’d been with Adrian almost six years, but they’d only really been intimate in the last year or so. With Adrian, she’d never had to tamp down the compulsion to sniff his neck or sink her teeth into his shoulders. She never felt as if she had a whole troop of acrobats in her belly doing somersaults at his barest touch.

  Aya sighed. Desire could be addicting. But she was a normal, healthy female and it had been bound to happen sooner or later.

  This was madness. She couldn’t allow herself to get attached to him. He was leaving.

  When Aya realized her skin was beginning to look like a prune, she left the tub and rinsed in the showers. Then she put on her clothes and bade the old lady manning the sento a good night. Her hair was still a bit damp, but since the air was balmy, she simply brushed it out. It would be dry by the time she got to the dorm.

  It was a lovely night. It was a good thing Tokyo was one of the safest cities in the world. Walking home alone at half past nine in the evening was no biggie. The roads were well lit by streetlamps, vending machines, and convenience stores that dotted almost every corner. Aya would never have attempted the twenty-minute walk back to her dorm in Manila, but here, she felt safe even though she was about the only person on the road.

  Oh wait, there was that couple over there . . . Aya froze as they walked under a streetlight. The pair was laughing, holding hands, completely lost in their own world.

  She had once been that girl. Literally.

  Aya braced herself as her ex-boyfriend stopped a few meters in front of her. “Hello, Adrian.”

  “Aya . . .” Adrian’s eyes flared in surprise. He cleared his throat. “How are you? I haven’t seen much of you since . . .”

  “Since I arrived two months ago? I’ve been busy.” Reggie had told her that Adrian had been voted one of the student leaders, so Aya avoided student events like the plague. But it was inevitable that they’d meet up sooner or later—they lived in the same dormitory complex after all.

  “Er . . . Aya, this is Hazel.” Adrian ran a hand through his hair as he made the introductions.

  “Hello.” Hazel gave Aya a small smile.

  Thanks to the wonders of social networking sites and Kit’s amazing stalking skills, Aya had known who Adrian had been interested in, long before he changed his Facebook status to In-A-Relationship with Hazel Sarmiento. She was pretty, with chinita features and long, straight hair. She was also tiny. The top of her head only came up to Adrian’s shoulders.

  “Hey.” Aya nodded. Awkward silence ensued for a few seconds.

  “Are . . . are you walking back to the dorm?” Hazel asked, her tone tentative, but friendly. “We were just about to go back . . .”

  “Oh.” Aya blinked and thought quickly. She didn’t want to walk back with them. “Oh no, I . . . I really have to run.”

  “It
’s late. Where are you going?” Adrian checked his watch.

  “I . . . I have to be at the lab.”

  “Tonight?” Adrian sounded skeptical.

  “Uh, yeah.” Aya shrugged and tried to sound nonchalant. “You know my peculiar work hours. We’ve a big presentation next week, so my tutor and I are pulling an all-nighter.”

  “Oh.”

  Another few seconds of awkward silence ensued.

  “Well,” Aya began slowly backing away. “It was nice bumping into you guys. See you soon, I guess.”

  “Aya.”

  Aya looked back at the sound of Adrian’s voice.

  “I hope we’ll see you at one of the student events soon. It would be good to catch up.”

  “Uh, sure. We’ll see.”

  But as she turned away, she thought, Don’t hold your breath.

  Chapter 11

  “Oh.”

  “Oh.” Aya paused when she saw Ryo at his table. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

  “Likewise.”

  “It’s Saturday night, don’t you have a party to go to?” Aya asked as she sat down.

  He snorted. “Parties are overrated.”

  Privately, she agreed. Her own sisters were overly fond of parties and forcibly dragged her to most of them. Aya was far happier with a pint of ice cream and a good movie.

  “What’s your excuse?”

  Aya shrugged. “I thought I’d get a head start on our boards. That way we can print them out before the critique on Wednesday.” She booted up her laptop. “Who else is here?”

  “Dei-kun, Matsuura-kun, and Taki-kun.” He answered as he stretched his arms to work out the kinks. “But they left a few minutes ago to get something to eat.”

  “Huh.”

  “Ne, why are you here, really?”

  “I just told you, duh.” Determined to ignore him, Aya faced her laptop.

  “Nope. You just told me what you’ve decided to do, not the reason behind it.”

  “And I should tell you, why?”

  “Is it about Adrian?”

  With a gasp of surprise, Aya swiveled to face him. “You’re a mind-reader now?”

  “Sou, I’m just naturally intuitive.” Ryo smirked as he swiveled his chair to face her. “C’mon, spill. It helps to talk to someone impartial, you know.”

  Aya debated whether or not to tell him. She needed to talk to someone, to vent. She had hoped to chat with her sisters, but they were probably at a party somewhere because when she had tried calling a few minutes ago, they were both unavailable.

  “I bumped into him.”

  “Here? He’s here?”

  “Not here, but near the dorm.”

  “Chotto matte.” Ryo held up a hand to stop her. “You’d better start from the beginning.”

  And so Aya did.

  Unburdening herself to Ryo was strangely cathartic. She told him how she and Adrian had planned to study in Japan together. And how she had been surprised by his lukewarm reception when he came home last Christmas. Ryo burst out laughing when she told him how she had thrown coffee at Adrian. But he listened quietly as she told him how she’d done her best to avoid Adrian since arriving in Tokyo. She related how she blew off the student events that were supposed to be for the benefit of the newcomers. Finally, she told him how she had bumped into Adrian and Hazel outside the sento tonight.

  When she finished, Aya felt . . . relieved. This was exactly what she needed. Since she’d come to Tokyo, she hadn’t really talked to anybody about her ex. But everybody seemed to know about her and Adrian anyway. No one had actually come out and taken sides, but sometimes she felt as if she were being measured and judged. April and Reggie were the only ones Aya felt that she could really talk to, and although she knew that they wouldn’t blab about her secrets, she still felt weird venting to them about it.

  But Ryo . . . he was as far removed from the situation as could be. Impartial. Though a tiny part of her hoped he was on her side.

  Ryo walked over to the kitchenette and took two cans of beer from the mini-fridge. Turning, he opened a window. “C’mon,” he called to her over his shoulder.

  Aya crossed her arms. “Baka. I’m not that depressed.”

  He laughed. “Baka. I’m not asking you to jump.” Then he climbed through the window.

  Since she didn’t hear him fall to his death, Aya leaned out the window and saw Ryo walking along the ledge. At the corner, he climbed up the fire escape and disappeared. She looked down. They were four stories up.

  Oh, well. She was used to heights anyway. She swung one leg out after the other.

  She found Ryo on the roof deck. He was sitting cross-legged on a blue plastic sheet.

  “Where did this come from?” Aya gestured to the sheet as she sat down.

  Ryo pointed toward a clear, plastic box in the corner. “Some senpais decided to keep a few supplies up here.” He handed her a can of beer. “Here you go.”

  Aya sat down and for a few minutes they drank in silence.

  “You went to the sento, huh? Been busy with your bucket list, haven’t you?”

  She groaned. “Please get that list out of your head.”

  He chuckled. “Can’t. It’s just too interesting! And I’m sort of helping you, right?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The goukon? The Cosplay Festa?”

  “Oh, those. Uh, thanks.” For a second there, Aya thought he’d been referring to the other not-so-wholesome items on her list.

  His eyes twinkled as he asked, “Did you need help with anything else?”

  “You wish.”

  “So. Six years, huh?”

  “Almost six years.”

  Ryo shook his head in amazement. “Eeee. That’s . . . pretty long.”

  Aya didn’t know if it was the beer or the sight of the moon twinkling above them, but she suddenly felt as if she and Ryo were the closest of friends and that she could tell him anything. “I thought he was the one . . . the one I’d have happy-ever-after with. I guess it was pretty naïve of me to think so.”

  He whistled. “Sugoi. I’d never have pegged you as a long-term relationship kind of girl.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Aya put her beer can down with a thud.

  “Oi, oi. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re hot. You could’ve dated tons of guys.”

  “I didn’t want to.” Aya rolled her eyes. “Gosh, you sound like my sisters.”

  “The ones who wrote your bucket list?”

  “You were supposed to forget about that.”

  “Sou? Was I?”

  Deciding to turn the tables, Aya asked, “What about you, have you ever been in a serious relationship?”

  He was silent for so long, she thought he wasn’t going to answer. But then he sighed. “There was a girl. I guess I thought she was the one too. Haruna was beautiful. She was bright and bubbly and always in the middle of things. I had a crush on her since we were in junior high.”

  “What happened?”

  “Well, one day when we were in senior high, she suddenly walked up to me and asked if I wanted to go out with her. And hey, I’m not one to let opportunity pass, so I said yes.”

  “Naturally.”

  “Naturally. I felt like the luckiest guy on earth. Haruna was the perfect girlfriend, sweet and attentive. She was even nice to my mom and my sisters.” Ryo took a long swig of beer. “But it turned out she was using me to get to them.”

  “Huh?” Aya was confused. “Why would she . . .”

  Ryo leaned his head on the wall behind them as he explained. “My mom is one of the top executives of an entertainment promotions company that specializes in female idols. Haruna wanted a way in and I was the key. Once she received an offer, she dropped me.”

  “Oh, Ryo . . .”

  “It’s not all bad. My mom said everything happens for a reason. I think I owe Haruna for this.” He waved a hand around abstractly. “When she broke up with me, I was so depressed, my da
d started taking me to work with him.” Ryo chuckled and turned to face Aya. “I think he was afraid I might do something drastic like shave my head or join a gang.”

  She laughed as he continued. “Dad’s an architect too, and he threw every job he had at me . . . CAD drawings, scale models, site visits, the whole works. He thought if I was kept busy, I wouldn’t dwell on Haruna.” Smiling, he reached for Aya’s hand. Turning it over, he examined the long, delicate fingers and traced the short, oval nails. “And he was right. After the numbness faded, I found a new obsession. I found what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.”

  Aya nodded. She felt that way about architecture too. Her sisters never understood the fascination that forms and spaces held for her. Even her father, an engineer, didn’t see what she saw when she looked at buildings. For her, her profession was more than just work. It was like a vocation . . . something that tugged at her soul and inner consciousness. “I know exactly what you mean.”

  She looked up at the sky. Like in any metropolitan city, stars were scarce, but the sky was clear and the moon shone bright.

  “I guess everything happens for a reason.”

  Smiling, she nudged his shoulder with her own. “That’s deep.”

  He raised a brow. “What? You thought I was just good looking?”

  Her bark of laughter echoed against the concrete walls. “You’re hilarious.”

  “And you’re pretty when you laugh like that.”

  Aya’s breath caught in her throat. “You aren’t too bad yourself.”

  Grinning, he reached up to push a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “This Adrian of yours was a fool.”

  “He’s not my Adrian. And, yes. Yes he is.” She took a sip of her beer. “Boys generally are.”

  “I’m not.”

  Their gazes held, and they both shifted closer, as if drawn by an invisible magnet. She bit her lip, and saw that Ryo followed the movement with his eyes. Her heartbeat drummed loudly in her ears and time seemed to stop. She didn’t know if she moved first or if he did. But in the end, it didn’t matter. Because she was in his arms and he was kissing her. Tentatively at first, but when a small moan escaped Aya’s lips, Ryo leaned in, cupped her face and kissed her in earnest.