Falling
Page 32
Claire moved into the centre of the graveyard. The engraving on the stones here was nearly illegible. In the trees above, a magpie clattered.
She wore a woollen jacket. The left pocket held her phone. The right held two objects carefully wrapped in toilet paper. Claire looked around before she took them out, though she knew that she was alone. Not even a ghostly nun watched her unwrap the pregnancy tests.
She’d seen the blue lines already; they’d appeared almost immediately when she’d taken the tests, but that had been in the staff toilet, where the light wasn’t good. She couldn’t have been sure it wasn’t wishful thinking. Now, she held up the first test and squinted at the lines.
Positive. A clear, dark positive. Same with the second one. She hadn’t made a mistake.
She sank onto the grass, ignoring the cold and damp, staring at the tests on her lap.
She should ring Ben. And her mum. She wasn’t supposed to take a test yet. She and Ben had both agreed that it would be wisest to wait until she had the proper test, tomorrow morning at the fertility clinic.
But she couldn’t wait. All through the school day, through the mild rebukes to Year Seven to pay attention, please, through the rehearsals for the Easter term concert and the department meetings, she’d been thinking about one thing: her tiny embryo, hers and Ben’s, the single one inside her, the only one that was good enough.
Please take, she’d been thinking. Exactly as she’d been thinking for every minute of the past ten days since it had been introduced into her womb.
Please take. Driving to school. Brushing her teeth. Washing the glasses in the sink. Please take. Sharing dinner with Ben. The first thought, waking up and going to sleep.
Hold on and live. I want to meet you.
She left her phone in her pocket. Right now, after everything, she wanted to be alone with her secret. To convince herself it was true.
Claire gently laid both of her hands on her stomach. ‘Hello,’ she said softly.
She lifted her face and let the winter sunshine warm her skin.
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First published in Great Britain in 2016 by Black Swan
an imprint of Transworld Publishers
Copyright © Julie Cohen 2016
Extract from Dear Thing © Julie Cohen 2013
Julie Cohen has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of historical fact, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Every effort has been made to obtain the necessary permissions with reference to copyright material, both illustrative and quoted. We apologize for any omissions in this respect and will be pleased to make the appropriate acknowledgements in any future edition.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
Version 1.0 Epub ISBN 9781473525474
ISBN 9781784160630
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