Canary

by Rachele Alpine

  He reeked of alcohol. “Well, here I am,” he said and kissed me on the lips.

  I kissed him back for a few minutes until he started tugging at my bra under my shirt. I pushed Jack away and grabbed his hand. “Not here. Let’s head downstairs.”

  “You’re right. You don’t have a drink. We need to get you a beer,” Jack said and followed me.

  “No, it’s not like that. You wouldn’t believe what I walked in on.”

  We reached the kitchen, and Jack grabbed two beers out of the fridge. He tossed one to me and then cracked open the other. He sucked the foam as it escaped.

  Jenna walked in from outside and joined us. She had a green and white scarf wrapped all around her neck, and she stunk like smoke.

  I breathed through my mouth and took a few steps away from her.

  “So what did you walk in on?” Jack asked.

  “Ohhhh,” Jenna said, “did you see something dirty and sexy?”

  I wrinkled my nose and played with the tab on my beer. “It was definitely dirty. I was trying to find Jack and found Luke and Liz instead.” I shook my head. “I don’t think I need to tell you what they were doing.”

  “I was right,” Jenna said, clapping. “I knew she was hot for him.”

  “The two of them are nothing new,” Jack said. “Luke’s been screwing her for the last couple of weeks.”

  I closed my eyes and shook my head. “Seriously, Jack? Why didn’t you say anything? You know how Ali feels about him.”

  “Luke’s being Luke. It’s what he does. He hooks up. Everyone knows that.”

  “I’m staying out of this,” Jenna said. “I didn’t see anything, so I’m not saying a word.”

  “Ali would kill me if she found out I knew and didn’t say anything.”

  “She’s going to go nuts,” Jenna said, her eyes wide.

  “Thanks, as if I needed you to remind me.” My stomach was all queasy. I put my beer on the counter and pushed it away. “I’m not sure how I’m ever going to get the picture of Liz and Luke out of my mind.”

  Jack grabbed my beer and pushed it back into my hand. “Drink this, and then I’ll show you a few things that’ll be sure to make you forget what you saw.”

  I grabbed Jack with my free hand and pulled him toward me. He could make me forget, and I was ready to lose myself in him for the night.

  Chapter 36

  My phone rang early the next morning. I pulled my pillow over my head and tried to ignore it, but the ringing wouldn’t stop. I walked across the room and fished my phone out of my purse.

  “Hello?” I said, not bothering to check the caller’s name. I hadn’t gotten home until late last night, and it hurt to open my eyes to the light streaming through the cracks of my blinds.

  “Why didn’t you call last night?” a voice demanded.

  “Who is this?”

  “It’s Ali. What the hell happened?”

  I crawled back under the covers and put the phone on speaker. “I’m sorry. I didn’t get home until late, and I was so tired—”

  “You promised you’d call me,” she whined.

  “I would’ve, but I wasn’t thinking about that.”

  “No one was thinking about me. I was stuck at home while everyone else was having a great time.”

  “Believe me, it wasn’t such a great time.”

  “Why not? What happened?”

  I didn’t want to tell her about the nasty hookup I walked in on. She’d flip out, but it wasn’t the kind of thing you kept from a friend. I silently cursed Luke for being such an asshole and putting me in this position.

  “Oh my God, something did happen. Tell me what happened.”

  “You’re not going to like it,” I told her and tugged on my hair. “It’s about Luke.”

  “What about him?”

  I stayed quiet, buying time so I could figure out how to tell her.

  “Damn it. Just tell me.”

  “I walked in on him and Liz together in bed. Jack said they’ve been hooking up for a while now. I’m sorry, Ali.” I said it all quickly, as if getting it out fast would make it easier to tell her. When I stopped, Ali was the one who was silent. “Ali? Are you okay?”

  “You enjoy this, don’t you?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You had to try to ruin it, didn’t you?”

  “Ruin it? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I didn’t expect her to be happy when she heard the news, but I definitely didn’t think she would lash out at me because of it.

  “I’m talking about how you couldn’t wait to tell me how Luke was hooking up with Liz.”

  “I didn’t want to—”

  “You think you’re so great because Jack is crazy over you. The whole team loves you, but you don’t care. You still have to go and make other people feel bad.”

  “Get real, Ali. I thought you’d want to know.”

  “Well, I didn’t,” she said firmly. “And in the future, stay out of my relationships.”

  “Oh, don’t worry. I will,” I snapped, but I wasn’t sure if she heard me. She’d hung up, and I was left holding the phone with no one on the other end.

  www.allmytruths.com

  Today’s Truth:

  Your reality might not be the truth.

  I once heard there are always two sides to every story.

  Dad tells a story of Luke that is very different from mine.

  In Dad’s version, Luke can do no wrong. Luke is perfect. The one who will bring a championship to the school.

  In my version, I can see through Luke. I know who he really is.

  Dad believes things only one way. He will never understand what he knows is only a warped reflection of what reality is.

  Dad’s side of the story: “Luke scored twenty-two points in the game last night.”

  My side: “Luke scored with two girls in one night.”

  Dad’s side of the story: “Luke had to go home today because he looked awful, and I think he’s coming down with something. I told him not to worry about his Spanish test. I’d talk to his teacher.”

  My side: “Luke looks awful because he was out all night partying and getting high. He doesn’t give a shit about the Spanish test.”

  Dad’s side of the story: “I really think the tutor is helping Luke bring up his grade in English. I’m glad we won’t have to worry about his eligibility.”

  My side: “Luke’s tutor is writing his papers for him and probably half the other guys on the team.”

  Dad’s side of the story: “I talked to Mr. Drew about the fight Luke got in. It turns out the other kid has been threatening Luke for some time. It won’t be a problem anymore. The kid is on probation and will get kicked out if he so much as looks sideways at Luke.”

  My side: “Luke follows this poor boy around and calls him a homo. Luke threw the kid’s clothes in the toilet the other day when he was showering after gym class. The kid was at his breaking point and just wanted it to stop.”

  Dad’s side of the story: “Luke hasn’t been at practice four times in the last two weeks. It turns out that his mom had to pick up some extra hours at work and Luke was watching his little sister.”

  My side: “Luke has been going over to the college twenty minutes away and screwing some girl who thinks he’s a sophomore at her school.”

  Dad’s side of the story: “The town loves Luke. He started volunteering on the weekends to help build the new community center.”

  My side: “Luke calls the people in this town reject hillbillies. The only reason he goes to volunteer is that one of the workers there is his hookup for pot.”

  Dad’s side of the story: “Luke already has college recruiters looking at him. He’s a phenomenon and the talk of all the big universities in the state.”

  My side: “Luke told his study hall advisor to screw off when she told him to quiet down and work. He said he didn’t need to use the time studying because he was getting a full ride to any college he wanted.”

  I
could have told Dad all my versions of the story, but he’d never comprehend them.

  Luke was Dad’s star. He could do no wrong.

  I had a feeling there was absolutely nothing Luke could do to change Dad’s opinion of him.

  Not a thing.

  Posted By: Your Present Self

  [Sunday, November 3, 7:23 PM]

  Chapter 37

  “I need your help,” Ali said Monday at school.

  I closed my locker door and faced her. “Oh, really? Now you want me in your business?”

  “Don’t act all dramatic. I’m over it. Or at least I will be if we can get the boys to come over on Friday. They don’t have a game, and my mom said you and Jenna can sleep over. I’ll snag some alcohol, and we can party in the basement. What do you think?”

  I was skeptical. “Why do you need my help?”

  She let out a huge sigh as if the answer was obvious. “I need you to get Luke to come over. He will if you invite Jack and tell him to bring everyone. I want to keep Luke away from Liz.”

  “Sure, okay. I’ll talk to Jack about.”

  Ali jumped and squealed. “Thanks, Kate. I knew I could count on you.”

  I shook my head. “Sure, but please don’t make that noise again.”

  Ali slung an arm over my shoulder, and everything was back to normal between us.

  The boys agreed to Ali’s little party, and we all found ourselves in her basement Friday night. We told her mom we were watching a movie, but the boys were passing around a bottle of vodka and trying to get us to take shots with Ali’s mom’s lemonade as the chaser.

  Ali was working hard to make Luke forget Liz. She was snuggled up to him on the couch, and from the way his hand kept creeping up the back of her shirt, I was pretty sure he wasn’t thinking about Liz either.

  Dave held up his phone and waved it. “Check your messages, boys. We’ve got an early Christmas gift.”

  “What do you mean?” Jack asked. He untangled his hand from mine and sat up to dig his phone out of a back pocket.

  “Liz sent us a little something,” Dave said,

  waggling his eyebrows.

  “Hell, yeah,” Luke said, looking at his phone. “Her little something just gave me a big something.” He grabbed his crotch.

  Ali swatted his hand away. “What are you talking about?”

  “Nothing,” Jack said and closed his phone. “It’s just some stuff the cheerleaders have been doing for the team.”

  “Like what?” I moved my hand behind Jack and tried to get his phone out of his pocket. He pushed my hand away.

  “Stop it, Jack. I want to see.”

  “Trust me. You don’t.”

  Jenna grabbed Dave’s phone. “You can’t mention something and then tell us to ignore it.” She looked at the picture for only a second before she threw it on the ground. “Are you serious? Naked pictures?”

  Ali jumped up and glanced at the picture.

  “Freaking sluts.”

  “You’re kidding me.” I stood and faced Jack.

  “Calm down. It’s not a big deal.”

  “No big deal?” My voice was getting louder, until I was shouting at Jack. “What the hell are the cheerleaders doing sending you naked pictures?”

  Luke shrugged. “Well, maybe if you’d loosen up a bit and send Jack something to look at, he wouldn’t need these pictures.”

  “Seriously, Kate,” Dave said, giving Luke a high five. “I think you need to send the man some pictures fast.”

  “You guys are assholes,” Jack said. He turned to me. “I always delete them when I get one.”

  Jenna tried to change the topic and grabbed the bottle of vodka. She went around filling shot glasses. “Let’s forget this and get wasted.”

  I tried to catch Jack’s eye, but he ignored me and picked a shot glass.

  Luke raised his high. “To cheerleader skanks who are nowhere near as beautiful as these girls.”

  “I second that,” Ali said. “To dirty, nasty whores.”

  Reluctantly, I picked up my glass and toasted with the rest of them. I swallowed my shot and tried not to make a face as it went down.

  I watched Jack, but he ignored me. I wanted to say something. I wanted to yell at him and make him delete the new pictures, but I couldn’t. Not with his friends around; they’d never let me forget it. I didn’t want to look like the bitch who tried to control her boyfriend. Jack wouldn’t go for that. I’d talk to him later and make sure I gave him a piece of my mind.

  Instead, I let Dave fill my glass again and threw back another shot so at least it would look as if I could hang with everyone else. There was no way I’d let Luke and Dave see they had gotten to me. What happened between Jack and me was none of their business.

  Chapter 38

  Two hours later the boys left and Jenna, Ali, and I changed into our pajamas and spread our sleeping bags out on the basement floor. My head was spinning and I knew I’d drunk too much. I wanted to go to sleep and forget about Jack’s cell phone.

  Ali pulled a camera out of a side table drawer and waved it in front of us. “Let’s take some pictures.”

  “Pictures?” Jenna asked, yawning. I lay on my side and watched the two girls.

  “Like the cheerleaders.” Ali put her hands behind her, up the back of her shirt. She fumbled around for a couple of seconds and then pulled her bra out. “We’ll give them a little competition.”

  “You’re not serious?” Jenna giggled nervously as Ali handed her the camera.

  “Of course I’m serious. Do you really think I want Luke to be looking at pictures of those bitches on his phone? I’m going to give him something better to look at.” She pulled her shirt off and held it in front of her chest. I marveled at how she did it just like that, as if it were simple to take your top off. Ali threw her shirt at my head. “Okay, I’m ready.”

  Jenna shrugged and held up the camera. The flash lit the dark basement.

  “You’re crazy,” I told her. “What if Luke sends it to the rest of the team?”

  Ali held her hands up and shrugged. “I’ve got nothing to hide. I’m a lot better looking than nasty-ass Liz. Take a few more.”

  Jenna snapped pictures as Ali posed. “How many do you want? I don’t think we need a whole photo shoot.”

  “You’re right.” Ali took the camera. She flipped through the shots. “Luke’s going to love these.” She put her shirt on and walked over to me.

  I knew what she was thinking. “No way.”

  “Come on. Jack would love you forever. Just let me take one.”

  “Not a chance.” I crossed my hands over my chest as if that would stop her.

  “Kate, stop being a baby. You really want the cheerleaders sending your boyfriend naked pics?”

  I shook my head, but I thought about what Ali said. After we started taking the shots of vodka together, no one mentioned the pictures again for the rest of the night, but Luke’s comments were stuck in my head. Did Jack really think I was uptight? I was pretty sure the boys talked to each other about stuff like that. I wondered if he told the rest of them about how I wouldn’t sleep with him. It wouldn’t be

  surprising. Sex was becoming a major issue. Jack was getting more and more aggressive when we were making out, and I knew he wasn’t going to wait forever. It had gotten to the point where he’d get angry if I stopped him. He still hadn’t said anything, but I could see it in his face. I didn’t know why I was acting as if it was such a big deal. I was crazy about Jack, but something didn’t seem right. It was times like this I wished I could talk to my mom.

  I moved away from Ali. “This isn’t going to happen.”

  “Jack would love it,” she said and stuck the camera in my face. “Think about how pumped he’ll be when he opens the message from you.”

  “Oh, yes,” Jenna said and clapped. “That would be awesome. Send it to him right before he goes out onto the court.”

  “I highly doubt a topless picture of me is going to improve Jack�
�s game.” I sat on my sleeping bag.

  I was ready to end the whole conversation, but Jenna pounced on me. She held me down and pulled up my shirt while Ali took a picture.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I pushed Jenna off and reached for the camera. “Give it to me right now.”

  Ali held on tight and looked at the screen.

  Jenna peered over her shoulder, “You look hot, Kate.”

  Ali turned the camera around so I could look at the picture, and I couldn’t argue. My face in the photo was twisted in a look of surprise, but the cheerleaders had nothing on me. I did look pretty damn good. Jack would go nuts over something like this.

  “Come on. Let’s take a better picture. You can make your face look all sexy.”

  “One picture?” I asked, feeling my willpower to fight this dissolve.

  “Yep.” Ali tugged at my shirt. “Let’s do this. I want to send mine to Luke. Give him something good to dream about.” She grinned wickedly at us.

  “One,” I repeated and pulled off my top. I held it in front of me and then let it go so Ali could take my picture. I blinked as the flash blinded me.

  www.allmytruths.com

  Today’s Truth:

  A photo allows people to see only one version of you.

  I face the camera, but I do

  not smile.

  Click.

  Captured is the skin

  that seals in my heart from all that has tried to break it.

  Click.

  Captured is the line of freckles on my shoulder,

  a constellation of brown created by the burning sun.

  Click.

  Captured are my lips,

  which seal in words I cannot say to my father.