No Tears with Him

by K. Webster

  I may not usually like taking a dick in the ass, but with Mal it feels different. Everything with Mal feels different.

  Malcolm

  I sucked dick.

  Not just anyone’s dick, but Scott’s dick.

  And it was amazing.

  “You’re smirking,” he says as he soaps himself down in the shower. “What did I do?”

  I slide a palm to his ass and grab it. “Everything.”

  His gaze softens as he presses a kiss to my lips. “You’re just trying to butter me up so you can fuck me.”

  My heart races at that thought. Truth is, I’m scared as shit at the prospect of fucking him. I’m also a little thrilled. I’m a virgin and it sucks. Losing my virginity to my boyfriend sounds pretty amazing.

  “Is it working?” I ask with a lifted brow.

  He chuckles. “Surprisingly, yes. Keep telling me how wonderful I am.”

  I squeeze his ass again. “The best. I…I feel like a man with you. Not some boy who’s afraid of his mom. You make me feel wanted and worthy.”

  “You are worthy and I do want you. I’m glad you’re finally seeing that.”

  We rinse off and once we’re dried, I stretch out on the bed. Scott boldly walks around with his nice dick flopping around as he gathers supplies. Condoms. Lube. More liquor. I laugh when he tosses me one of the tiny bottles.

  “I thought we were done for the night,” I say as I unscrew the lid and take it all down in one swig.

  “That was until I saw the state of your dick only semi-aroused. I need another shot to take that fucker,” he grumbles playfully. “Now, I’m going to prep your ass so you know what to do for me. Speak up if something hurts or you don’t like it. I won’t let you come. You can do that when you’re tearing up my asshole.” He swats at my thigh as he climbs onto the bed. “Spread your legs.”

  Eager to know what happens next, I spread my thighs and watch him as he settles on his stomach on the bed. He pushes my thighs back and apart, making me prone to him. I’m not sure if he’ll just shove his finger in or what. Sometimes, late at night while on the phone with him, I lube my finger and slide it inside as he breathily talks me through it. I’m ready for his finger. What I’m not ready for is his tongue.

  “Jesus!” I cry out the moment his hot, wet tongue licks my hole.

  His breath tickles when he chuckles. “You’ll like this, babe.”

  My heart does a flip at his pet name. I love it. He makes me feel alive and out of control and a new version of Malcolm Shaw I’ve never seen before. His tongue laps at my hole and does a teasing circular movement. He sucks on my balls, making me groan before going back to tonguing my ass. When he pushes his tongue against the puckered hole, I cry out in shock. It feels incredible and bizarre, but mostly incredible.

  “You like it, huh?” he murmurs, pulling away to look at me.

  “Yeah, that feels good,” I breathe. “Weird but good.”

  He grins. “Good. Now I’m going to show you something else you’re going to like.” He opens the cap to the bottle of lube and pours it over his fingers. Then, he slides his middle finger easily into my hole.

  Two weeks ago, it felt like a burning intrusion. But now it just feels like a wonderful foreign visitor. His gaze sears into me as he fucks me with his finger. Gently, he adds another finger, slowly pushing in as I adjust to the thickness of them both. He twists as he fucks them into me, massaging the rim with each movement.

  “Now this,” he explains as he pushes in deep and curls his finger, “is your prostate.”

  Pleasure throbs inside of me and I gasp in shock. “Holy fuck, Scott.”

  He chuckles. “I know. Feels good.”

  My eyes flutter closed as I give in to the glorious feeling of him pressing on me there. My breathing becomes labored as I tremble with the need to come. I can’t help but lift my ass off the bed, clenching around his fingers, seeking more of the sensation. He leans forward and licks my shaft as he fingerfucks my ass. It’s too much. I’m going to—

  “Great,” he says as he slides his fingers out. “Now you know what to do.”

  I growl out at him. “You’re a tease.”

  His smirk is devilish as he flops down on the bed beside me. “I know.”

  Emboldened to drive him just as crazy as he did me, I try to mimic his actions, starting with his asshole. When I stop to think about my tongue in an ass, it sounds pretty unhygienic, but then I think about how Scott easily did it for me. Because he likes me and wants to bring me pleasure. I want to do the same for him. He hisses when I drag my tongue up his crack. It doesn’t taste bad, which makes me eager to try for more. I lose my train of thought as I give in to pleasuring him like he did me. And when I push my tongue inside him, his guttural growl of need has me wanting to fist pump the air.

  I did this.

  I made this hot, successful man a puddle of need.

  For me.

  It’s amazing what that does to make me feel better about myself. Worthy as he says.

  “God,” Scott grumbles. “Are you good at fucking everything?”

  I laugh as I pull away and lube up my fingers. “It’s looking that way. You created a monster, Scott.”

  He hisses when I slide a finger into his needy hole. “The monster was there. I just freed him.”

  I’m mesmerized by how wild and frenzied Scott is in this moment. One hand is on his dick and the other fists the comforter. I urge another finger into his ass, doing as he did for me. When I curl my fingers up, pressing into the spot that is his prostate, he makes a choked sound of pleasure.

  “You keep doing that and I’m going to come,” he warns, hips lifting eagerly for my touch.

  “That’s the point.” I intensify my fingerfucking until he clenches around me. He climaxes hard, his jizz shooting up his sculpted chest. The moment he comes down, I slide my fingers out and eagerly run my tongue up his torso, cleaning him up. When I make it up to his mouth, he attacks me with a kiss. We’re a tangle of tongues and limbs for a few moments until he breaks away, holding a condom between us.

  “I’m ready,” he murmurs before tearing the foil with his teeth. He rolls the condom on my dick and then pours lube into his hand. His fingers smear the lube all over my length. It feels good and I could pretty much come from just this, but he’s not having that because he releases me. “Ready?”

  He starts to roll over and I stop him.

  “Can I, um, look at you while we do it?”

  His smile is tender. “Of course.”

  He spreads his thighs and I settle between them. His gaze is intense as I grip my dick and tease at his asshole.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” I murmur. “Tell me if I hurt you.”

  “I promise I’ll tell you.”

  I press the tip of my dick against his hole and it breeches the first ring, making him groan. The crown of my dick gets sucked into his heat. Holy shit. It’s so tight and feels fucking amazing. Slowly, I ease into him until I bottom out.

  “You okay?” he asks, his green eyes bright with intensity.

  “Yeah, uh, it feels so good.”

  “It’ll feel even better when you move. Fuck me, babe.”

  “I won’t last long,” I breathe, bracing myself on my hands on either side of his body.

  “No one’s counting. I want you to feel good. Now fuck me.”

  His words spur me on and I buck against him. Pleasure zings through me, making me tremble. I crash my mouth to his, eager to taste him. My hips rock against his as I grow drunk with the sensation of being inside him. It only takes another few grinds against him before I’m lost to the pleasure. My nuts draw up as a growl escapes me. I come with a ragged breath of air and then collapse on top of him. He hugs me and kisses the side of my neck.

  “You keep fucking me like that and you might convince me to bottom a lot more,” he mutters. “Your cock is so goddamn big, Mal. You wrecked me.”

  At first, I worry I’ve hurt him, but it’s then I realize he
’s come again, our bodies slick with his sticky seed between us.

  “But you just came,” I argue in confusion.

  “You do a lot of things to me I never thought were possible.”

  I slide out of him and hop into the shower again. Once we’ve brushed our teeth, we get back into bed, this time under the covers. He pulls my back to his chest and snuggles me. The way he cuddles me as though I’m his and he’ll never let me go has me relaxing. I could get used to this. To us. Here in San Francisco, it feels right and wonderful.

  But what about back in Boulder?

  A sense of dread washes over me, threatening to ruin our moment.

  I’ll figure out a way to make it work back home. I can’t hide my sexuality forever. Not if I want to remain happy. Coming out to my family—especially my mother—will probably be the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

  I’ll do it, though.

  One day soon.

  For him.

  He deserves to have me all in. I want to be all in. Being all in means more of this all the time. This is happiness to me.

  “I like you in my bed,” he murmurs sleepily in the dark.

  “I like being in your bed.”

  “I’m going to miss you after we leave here.” He squeezes me tight, nuzzling his nose against the back of my neck.

  I thread my fingers with his hand that’s on my stomach. “Maybe you don’t have to miss me.”

  “Don’t tease me.”

  His breathing evens out as he falls asleep, but I remain wide awake, my mind buzzing with thoughts. I make a promise to myself in the middle of the night with the sexiest man alive wrapped around me.

  I’m going to reclaim my life and be the man he deserves.

  Even if it means sacrificing the relationship I have with my family.

  Scott’s worth it.

  Scott

  I can’t take my eyes off him. The panel is good, but they’re not that good. Not good enough to steal my attention when Malcolm fully owns it. This afternoon he looks good enough to eat in a red Polo and khakis. His leg is bent at the knee, his foot resting on the other knee, and a notebook is perched on his thigh as he furiously scribbles down notes he won’t even be able to read later. I’m toying with a Yomega Raider yo-yo I picked up at the gift shop in the hotel.

  This morning, something changed. Mal woke up…different. I can’t pinpoint it exactly. Just that it’s different. Happier, more assertive, smug. I bite on my bottom lip, holding in a chuckle. He pounced on me, eager and hungry, and took my ass again.

  I’m dying to fuck him too, and if we keep at it, I won’t have to wait long.

  Even though I normally top, I’ve enjoyed getting fucked by my hot stallion of a boyfriend. He turns me inside out and makes me question who I am. In a good way. Mal’s the type of guy you want to sink your claws into and never let go.

  Everyone claps, startling me.

  The panel moderator thanks everyone for coming. I’m eager to get the hell out of here so I can take Mal to do an Alcatraz tour. We stand and start out the door when I hear a familiar voice.

  “Scotty the hottie?”

  Malcolm stiffens at my side as a tall, smiling black man wearing an expensive suit strides over to us.

  “I thought that was you, man,” he says, yanking me to him for a hug. “What’s it been since I last saw you? Two years?”

  “Something like that.” I hug him back before pulling away. “Good to see you.”

  “Malcolm, this is Wendell Denton. Wendell, this is Malcolm Shaw.”

  Malcolm shakes Wendell’s hand, but his jaw clenches. I’ve seen this look before. Jealousy. My dick twitches because it’s fucking adorable.

  “Nice to meet you, man,” Wendell says. “I work for Ads Global in San Diego. Before I tucked and ran to get married, this guy was my college roommate.”

  Malcolm relaxes some. “I’m, um, his…” He trails off, darting me a confused look.

  “His?” Wendell asks. “Now this is juicy. And here I thought you were just an employee.”

  Malcolm’s eyes flare and he chews nervously on his inner bottom lip. “He’s my boyfriend,” Malcolm blurts out, much to my surprise. “I’m also a graphics artist.”

  I nudge Mal with my shoulder. “Don’t worry, babe. Wendell’s married to a woman. We’re just friends.”

  Wendell chuckles. “You two are fucking sweet. Wanna get out of here and grab some drinks and then, later, dinner? I came to the conference alone and I’d rather not eat at the bar by myself.”

  “We’re headed to Alcatraz Island for a tour.” I pause, wondering if I should invite him, but then I decide I’d rather have Mal all alone. “Why don’t we meet back here around six and we’ll grab dinner?”

  Wendell reaches over and clutches my shoulder. “Wow, man.”

  “What?”

  “Just didn’t realize how bad you had it.” Wendell smirks and then winks at Mal. “Take care of my boy here. He’s precious,” he teases.

  I give him a playful shove. “Go call your wife and leave me alone.”

  His smile fades and his jaw clenches. “Right. So, six. I’ll see you guys then.”

  Wendell gives us a nod of his head and then strides from the hotel conference room. I stare after him, frowning.

  “What was all that about?” Mal asks.

  I turn to regard him. “You noticed that too?”

  “I also noticed that despite being married, he wasn’t wearing a ring. So either he’s hiding that for a potential weekend lay, or maybe he’s not married anymore.”

  This is news to me. We chat on occasion and have a beer when he breezes into town to visit his parents. Whatever it is, I’ll squeeze it out of him at dinner.

  “Come on, babe,” I say with a grin. “Enough about Wendell. We have a hot date at a prison.”

  He snorts. “When you say it that way, it doesn’t sound that hot at all.”

  “You wound me, Mal. You wound me.”

  I tip my glass and drain the rest of my wine as the server takes away my empty plate. Wendell has been entertaining us with wild stories from his job, but something’s off for sure. His normal smile doesn’t quite reach his dark eyes. Everything feels forced. Finally, I can’t stand it anymore and come right out with it.

  “What’s going on with you and Sinder?”

  He winces at my direct question and Mal squeezes my thigh under the table for moral support.

  “That obvious, huh?” Wendell asks, scrubbing his palm over his short, scruffy black beard.

  “Yeah. Spill.”

  He cuts his eyes over to Mal and must decide it’s safe to confide in us both because he lets out a heavy sigh of resignation. “We got a divorce.”

  “What?” I croak out. “Since when? Why?”

  Sinder and Wendell got married in his last year of college because she was pregnant with Deon. He’ll be six this year. They always seemed so happy.

  “That woman done lost her mind, man,” Wendell complains, his features morphing into ones of anger. “She’s stepped out on me a few times over the years, but I blamed it on myself. I’m not always attentive when it comes to her…” He trails off, a troubled look on his face. “But I wanted to make it work for Deon.”

  I always thought Sinder was kind of a hoe, but I sure as fuck didn’t tell my friend that. “It’s not working, though?”

  “Hell no,” he growls. “Sinder fucks anything with a credit card. She got involved with this rapper from LA.” He shakes his head and closes his eyes. “Now she thinks she’s going to sing. Fuck, the woman can’t carry a tune, but she’s blissed out on the high life this motherfucker offers and she can’t be bothered with her own goddamn son.” His chest heaves with fury.

  “That’s fucked up,” I utter. “Seriously fucked up.”

  “We haven’t seen her in two months, man. Two fucking months. The only reason I know she’s still alive is because she does call to check in with her mother, Faye, who calls me to tattle.”

>   The server comes back and refills our wine. We sure as hell need it.

  “How’s Deon doing?”

  “Struggling,” Wendell says bitterly. “He’s in kindergarten. My kid should be worrying about his fucking ABCs, not wondering if his mother will ever come home. The teacher has called me more times than I can count and it’s barely into the second semester. She’s already talking about holding him back.”

  Mal takes my hand under the table, always a quiet strength when I need it.

  “So what happens now?”

  “As soon as the judge signs off on full custody…” he trails off. “I need a change. Been thinking about moving back home to be near Mom and Dad. I could use their support right now.”

  “Come work for me,” I blurt out. “I know you’d rather do your own thing or make a helluva lot more with some big firm, but if you want, you have a job with me.” I’ll figure out the budget later. Wade will shit his pants and bitch me out, but it’s my goddamn company. If I say we’ll figure it out, we will.

  Wendell finally smiles. Genuine and real. “I might hold you to that.”

  “I’m counting on it.”

  “What about these?” Mal asks, holding up two crocheted stocking caps.

  I abandon the snow globes and walk over to help him choose souvenirs for his sisters. “From what you tell me, Melody is the diva, so definitely the pink one for her. Mina seems like the old soul. The green one is nice.”

  Mal grins at me. “My thoughts exactly.”

  “Maybe I’ll get Britney one too. Yellow?”

  “Perfect.”

  We pay for our things and walk hand in hand down the sidewalk, huddled together against the chilly mist. Tomorrow, we fly back, so we’re making the best of our time together. After a breakfast this morning with Wendell, we said our goodbyes and he left for an early Sunday morning flight. I was happy Malcolm seemed comfortable with my old college buddy.

  “I can’t believe I’m actually suggesting this, but do you want to run into this coffee shop?” Malcolm asks, a whine in his voice. “I’m freezing my balls off.”

  I laugh. “Someone’s coming around to the whole coffee thing.”