Books by Linda Conrad

by Conrad, Linda

  “No, I…” Her face held a terrified expression as her voice seemed to give out on her.

  “Don’t worry. It’s not that important,” he said, trying to soothe her. “Just let me tell you one dream story.

  “There once was a boy. A lonely boy of about eleven. He dreamed of a lonely girl, just about his same age. He dreamed they became friends in the night. Comrades in their loneliness.”

  She stopped walking and looked over at him, a fearful expression on her face. He hadn’t wanted to upset her, only to explain.

  “They were pals,” he stated again more firmly. “The boy and girl met in almost every dream of his and became close friends. As he grew older, the girl grew, too—getting taller and more slender. Her firm breasts and long legs stirred new feelings in our lonely teenager. He began to hunger for her, the way a man hungers for a woman.”

  “I’m…” She cleared her throat and inched back into the shadow of the yellow cottonwood leaves. “I’m not sure I want to hear the rest of this. I feel like the story is turning into an Internet porno site.”

  “It might have been,” he told her. “It very well could have been. Except that he and the girl had fallen for each other long before they consummated their mutual desire. By then he was desperately in love, after years of pouring out his heart to her, his only friend.”

  “But this was a dream,” Teal said quickly. “It wasn’t real life.”

  “That’s exactly what our young man’s wife told him,” Lucas told her sadly. “You see, he’d thought so, too. Thought his nighttime lover was only a dream. In his real life he’d found himself a good woman, one who cared deeply about him. And he married her, hoping to forget the dream girl and start living life in the daylight.”

  “But he couldn’t,” Teal said in a tiny voice.

  “No. Our hero couldn’t shake the dreams. He began to see the dream girl in everything he did. When his wife sighed in the night, he pictured his lover. He couldn’t get rid of the dream’s tastes and textures. He ached for her—and dreamed of her.”

  “And the wife knew.”

  “She knew. But tried to forget. Soon, whatever love she’d had for him at first was gone. And within months, so was she.”

  “Oh, Lucas. That boy was you, wasn’t it?”

  He nodded. “And the dream girl—was you.”

  “No.” Teal drew back. “It couldn’t have been me. We’ve never met before…Before…”

  Stepping close, he ran a finger softly down her cheek, following a single teardrop. “You know it’s true. You’ve dreamed of me, too.”

  Teal shivered and began to tremble. “I don’t want to talk about dreams anymore. And definitely not about mine. Get to the point. Why aren’t you having that ceremony?”

  “I had a vision this morning,” he confessed. “Another kind of dream. I’ve discovered that I can still see and hear the Skinwalkers. I…I’m only one dream away from being in the Owl’s thoughts, Bright Eyes.

  “I can’t be a Dineh medicine man like that,” he went on, hurrying to get it all out. “I can’t help the Brotherhood or myself. And I especially can’t help you as long as the evil remains inside me.”

  “You don’t mean that,” she cried. “Isn’t there something that can be done? Some ceremony. Surely the Brotherhood can…”

  Lucas slipped his arm around her shoulders. “Shush. It’s okay. I’ve already come to terms with not being able to help the Brotherhood anymore.

  “Ever since you arrived, my dream girl, I haven’t been able to read anyone’s thoughts. My whole mission—my one real contribution to the Brother-hood—has disappeared.”

  Teal held in the gasp that had threatened to become a sob. She didn’t want to hear any more. Things had been going wrong for Lucas ever since the moment she’d arrived. She’d had that very same thought just last night. But this? This was too terrible even to contemplate.

  Had she ruined his entire life? First her image had cost him his wife. Had she taken away his hard-earned position of respect as a medicine man and Brotherhood warrior now, as well?

  She twisted her shaky hands and tried not to think.

  Just then, a voice called out from up near the house and suddenly everything changed once more.

  “Ya’at’eeh,” Kody Long sang out as he got nearer.

  Lucas returned the Navajo greeting, took Teal’s hand and walked out into the hazy sunshine to meet his cousin. Teal was wondering what the FBI special agent was doing here in the middle of the day if there was to be no ceremony. She was having a weird premonition that something big was about to happen.

  “Cousin,” Kody said as he nodded to Lucas. “I have some news that concerns Special Agent Benaly. Well, for both of you.”

  Teal could tell that Lucas was holding his breath and waiting, the same way she was. He dropped her hand so she could shake Kody’s.

  “Has something bad happened?” Lucas asked.

  “Not really. I attended a meeting a while ago with Chapter Councilman Ayze and Teal’s boss, Special-Agent-In-Charge Sullivan. Councilman Ayze is well aware of what you two faced in that mine yesterday. He knows about the Brotherhood and is behind our efforts to eliminate the Skinwalkers.”

  Teal looked over at Lucas, but his expression revealed nothing. This was one of those times she wished she could read minds. Was that a grimace she saw behind his eyes?

  “Chris doesn’t know anything about this, does he?” she asked Kody.

  “No. Our Skinwalker war is not something he can do anything about, so he does not have a need to know. It’s a Dineh problem. Anglos have no federal laws that apply to this particular reservation tradition.”

  After he’d spoken those words, she noticed that Lucas nodded to him. The move was almost imperceptible, but she had noticed. Wondering what the look between them had meant, she turned her focus back to Kody.

  “The Brotherhood made some…discreet inquiries this morning,” Kody told her. “We’ve learned that the young Navajo man who was killed was a sacrifice of the Skinwalkers. There has never been any conspiracy among the environmental groups who have been demonstrating at the coal mines.”

  “A sacrifice? What does that mean?”

  “Apparently, the Skinwalkers have been keeping close tabs on the Brotherhood. They knew we had leads to finding a map they lost. A map they want back badly. So they decided to detour us with creative diversions,” Kody continued. “The arsons and accidents around the mines were all done by the Skinwalkers to get our attention. And the man who was Councilman Ayze’s assistant unfortunately stepped into their way.”

  “That’s awful,” she murmured. “But I don’t understand how that would sideline your war. The FBI is the agency that investigates murders on federal reservation land. After all, it wasn’t any of you that was assigned to investigate, it was…” Her voice trailed off when she realized what she was saying.

  She’d been used by the Skinwalkers as a pawn in their dangerous chess game with the Brotherhood. Dammit.

  Kody threw Lucas a quick and indeterminate look. “You, Teal. Again, I’m sorry you got involved. And what’s worse, the whole environmental point the Skinwalkers were using to their advantage no longer matters now.”

  “What? Why?”

  “The owners of Black Mesa mine announced this morning they’ll be shutting down. As of the first of the year, there will be no more coal-mining jobs there. Nor any reason to use our groundwater for a coal sluice that no longer runs. The power plant isn’t making enough money for them, so it’s going, too. The environmental groups are all disbanding or moving elsewhere.”

  “That’s kind of ‘good news, bad news’ for the People, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, it is. And unfortunately, it’s the same kind of thing for you.”

  “Why me?” Teal was positive she wasn’t going to be happy to hear Kody’s next bit of news.

  “You’ve been reassigned. Off the reservation. You’re needed temporarily in the sub-agency field office in Durango. Act
ually, they need you there by the day after tomorrow.”

  Teal felt her knees go weak. Her job? She’d been reassigned. Demoted was more like it.

  A few days ago that news would’ve killed her. Today, all she could think about was leaving the reservation. Leaving Lucas.

  The tears welled in her eyes, but she battled them back. This had to be for the best. Hadn’t she just been thinking about how bad her influence had been in Lucas’s life?

  “I see,” she managed with an amazing calm in her voice. “Did Chris happen to tell you how I’m supposed to get to Durango? The motor pool still hasn’t put my car back in order.”

  “I’ll drive you tomorrow.” Lucas stepped closer and spoke for the first time since Kody had arrived.

  “Oh, there’s no need for you to go out of your way.” She couldn’t imagine how hard it was going to be to say goodbye.

  “Yes, I’m afraid there is,” Kody broke in. “The Skinwalkers know who you are now. And they know hurting you can get us involved. You need a Brotherhood guard until you’re safely off the reservation, and none of the rest of us are available. Lucas will deliver you to your new assignment.”

  For a moment it flashed in her head that she was being set up somehow. Had the Brotherhood gotten her demoted in order to protect her?

  She refused to think that way. Look what havoc she’d already caused them. Her poor job performance was her own doing.

  But this leaving business was too hard. She’d already ruined the life of the man she loved. And now she was forcing him to leave his home in order to get rid of her.

  How could she?

  “Fine,” she told Kody without looking over at Lucas. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll go pack.”

  She started toward the house, hesitated then turned back to Kody. “I want to thank you for helping me out while I was assigned here, Special Agent Long. It’s been a pleasure meeting you. Even under the circumstances.”

  He nodded to her. “You take care, Special Agent Benaly. Maybe we’ll run into each other again.”

  Goodbyes were too much for her to bear. She spun around and ran back into the house before she made a huge fool of herself and broke down into little-girly tears.

  That was so not what one-of-the-guys Benaly would normally let anyone see her do.

  “But why does your grandmother want to talk to me?” she asked Lucas just as the orange streaks from the setting sun electrified the sky to the west.

  “She didn’t tell me. But she wants you to come spend your last night with her. I…agreed. It would be better if we weren’t together tonight. Being with you and knowing it was our last night would be too hard on me, Teal.”

  Too hard on him? Lord, how was she ever going to live through the next twenty-four hours?

  “She’s not going to try to poison me again, is she?”

  Lucas tsked at her, then smiled. “That’s not amusing,” he said through his grin. “She cured you the last time. And you must admit, you needed your rest then. Didn’t you heal faster after you saw her?”

  “Well, all right. I’ll go stay with her. The SUV’s already loaded with my stuff. I guess I’m ready. Shall we walk over?”

  “It’ll be easier, if you don’t mind.”

  They took off at an easy pace to walk the half mile down the hill toward his grandmother’s quaint hogan. There was a strained quiet between them, and Teal was relieved to be spending the night out of his house.

  Within a few minutes, a gunmetal gray cloud passed right over their heads, and an intermittent, light sprinkle erupted right above them—just to make their walk harder.

  “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen it rain like this here on the rez.”

  “It’s a female rain. Soft. The thunderstorms are male and can be dangerous.”

  “Right. Whatever you say.”

  A streak of black fur raced past her feet and disappeared into the scrub up the road. “What was that?”

  “Snow. I believe he’s decided to stay at my grandmother’s hogan with you tonight. But he doesn’t care much for the rain.”

  Teal had become friends with the Anglo cat and was glad he would keep her company tonight. She liked Lucas’s grandmother, but the old woman made her a little nervous.

  Looking out for Snow, she gazed up ahead toward the west and realized the skies there had become brilliant maroon, lit by the setting sun. They were walking through a crimson rain. Lucas’s valley had all of a sudden turned into a magic fairyland on fire.

  “Isn’t it beautiful?” she asked with a sigh.

  “Yes, I’ve never wanted to be anywhere else.”

  “You don’t think you might want to leave once your grandmother passes on? There are lots of beautiful places on this earth where an artist can be creative. Where people would appreciate your talents.”

  “No. This is where the clans of my ancestors reside. And my spirit, too. I may not be all that much here in Dinetah, but I would be less than nothing anywhere else.”

  Teal fell into silence once again. How could she argue with that?

  “So you leave us,” Lucas’s grandmother said with a scowl. “You run away from your destiny.”

  Teal stopped drying the last of the glasses, put down her dish towel and jammed her hands on her hips. “I am not running away. I’ve been reassigned. It’s my job.”

  Not nervous anymore, she decided she really liked this old lady with the strange eyes, but it was tough to listen to the scorn in her voice. Lucas had left her here an hour ago. Teal had searched for Snow and found the little black cat curled up asleep in the corner. Some pal.

  “You run,” Grandmother Helena Gray Goats insisted. “You turn away from the People as you have always turned away from your dreams.”

  Now the elder was pushing things too far. Teal hadn’t wanted to talk about her dreams with Lucas, and she sure as hell wouldn’t discuss them with his weird grandmother. She fisted her hands and started toward the bedroom door.

  “Sit. The coffee is ready. I have more to tell you.”

  Teal heaved a heavy sigh and returned to the kitchen table. She was suddenly exhausted. But not like when the old lady had slipped her a sleeping potion. No. This tired feeling was more in her soul than in her body.

  Grandmother Gray Goats poured two mugs of coffee and sat down beside her. The old woman’s voice was low as she stared into the cup before her.

  She told Teal the Dineh creation story. “After they were created, First Man and First Woman had five sets of twins. Then they had an argument and parted, each taking the children of their own sex. After a few years apart, the people realized that male and female do need each other.

  “Changing Woman was one of their children,” Grandmother continued. “She married the Sun and went west to live with him. On her way, Changing Woman instructed the people in the ways of hozho, harmony. That one man needs one woman to find balance.”

  Finally, she gazed over to Teal and pinned her with those odd, one-black-one-blue eyes. “You are the one for my grandson. You are his destiny.”

  “No.” Teal denied it vehemently. “I’ve ruined his life. It’s better if I go.”

  “But you are also destined to help the Dineh. To be the stargazer in my place.”

  “Me? Why would you say that?”

  “Look at the signs, Daughter. You can talk to the Bird People and have seen the future in your dreams. You’re…”

  Teal shot straight up and waved her hands, trying to stop the old woman’s words.

  But Grandmother ignored her and kept right on talking. “You saw your father’s death weeks before it happened, did you not?”

  Sinking low in her chair, Teal bit her lip. Yes, she had dreamed of her father’s drowning. Had clearly seen it about to happen. Yet she had done nothing to change the outcome, nothing to save his life. She’d wanted to fish, to be out on the water with him on a bright blue summer day.

  After that, after he was buried, was when she had first refused to acknowledge her dreams. N
ever again. The pain of being so selfish and so…alive when he was dead still pricked at her subconscious mind.

  “You were a child,” Grandmother said in a soothing voice. “There was nothing you could’ve done to change what was meant to be. That takes age, wisdom.

  “But you have also seen my grandson in your dreams. You knew you would love him before you met. Isn’t that true?”

  “This isn’t love,” Teal cried. “It’s hell.”

  She had screamed out the words, knowing full well the old woman had no concept of what hell might be. Teal had already learned that traditional Navajos believed death was just what it looked like. A release of your wind spirit forever. Once the evil spirits of chindi disappeared from the body, then the person was gone from this life.

  That didn’t seem so outrageous a concept any more. But Teal refused to hear another word from Lucas’s grandmother about her destiny. It was all bull. Her destiny was to be an FBI agent in Durango, Colorado. Or wherever else the Bureau sent her. She wasn’t meant to stay here, gazing off into a hazy dreamworld and ruining her lover’s life.

  She stood up and raced into the bathroom, determined not to think about any of it. Not about the dreams. Not about her destiny.

  And sure as hell, not about the man she loved whose life would never ever be the same again.

  15

  T eal crept through Lucas’s front door with Snow hugged tightly to her chest. They’d agreed to leave before dawn and Lucas was to pick her up at his grandmother’s so they could get on the road early. But he was late.

  Snow made a low growling sound and began to struggle for freedom. Teal shushed him and flipped on a light. The harsh glare illuminated a house turned upside down.

  The sofa was tipped on its side, the books were off the shelves. What on earth had happened here? And where was Lucas?

  A creepy feeling zinged up her spine and the hairs stood up on the back of her neck. Had the Skinwalkers come for him?

  She automatically reached for her weapon, only to remember that it was packed away in her suitcase in Lucas’s SUV. Great.