Books by Linda Conrad

by Conrad, Linda

  With another wheeze, the Wolf reached out trembling fingers and grabbed the phone with the hand that still showed long claws from his last change. He would make a call and set his plan in motion.

  Lexie tiptoed backwards out of the bedroom, where she’d managed to get her son down for a nap. Jack hadn’t wanted to close his eyes; everything had seemed so exciting and new for a four-year-old boy today.

  Admittedly, things were certainly different here at his Navajo grandparents’ house. But Lexie wasn’t so sure she would call what had happened to them so far thrilling. Life had taken several crazy and confusing turns the minute they crossed onto the reservation, and she really needed to think about everything that had happened so far.

  Fortunately, the house was quiet enough for contemplation this afternoon. Louise had gone to her luncheon. Jack’s grandfather Charles, the councilman, had gone to the chapter house for a meeting. And Michael had left hours ago to check on whether her old Volvo sedan could be salvaged.

  Thank goodness he’d left when he did. Having him around made it difficult to breathe, let alone to think.

  His mother’s talk of the two of them getting married in order to maintain an old-fashioned Navajo tradition had actually given Lexie some crazy notions. Notions having less to do with tradition and everything to do with getting her hands on one of the most virile and sexy men she had ever known.

  Yikes. Those kinds of thoughts simply had to be buried in her mind for good. It was bad enough that the man seemed to turn her on with just one look. But the very idea of two strangers getting married simply for tradition’s sake was causing her to have crazy images.

  She fought to remember that first and foremost she was a mother. Jack and his best interests came before everything else—always.

  Lexie physically shook the picture of a broad-chested, dark-eyed Navajo man named Michael out of her head as she wandered into the big front room. It was a warm, late September day so no fire had been set in the fireplace. Still, the cozy atmosphere and the soft couches called out to her to come relax into their comfort. Lexie dropped down into overstuffed caramel colored cushions and curled her bare feet up underneath her body.

  Michael had said he could get her a job. Fantastic. Just as long as she wouldn’t have to work closely with him. Despite Louise’s wishes, Lexie knew she couldn’t possibly spend a lot of time with the man. Not when her whole body vibrated every time they got near each other.

  She needed desperately to think about other things now.

  For instance, about how the reservation and the people on it seemed so strange to her. Even in this short time, though, she’d become absolutely convinced her son needed his extended Navajo family—and they needed him. He should learn about his heritage, and it would particularly be in his best interests to form close relationships with his grandparents. Family was all-important.

  She would have to have a serious talk with Louise about what had really happened between the family and Dan. Whatever it was didn’t seem to extend to her and Jack, so maybe it would be all right.

  With her mind racing, Lexie closed her eyes and tried to visualize their lives if they actually stayed on the reservation for the long term. Would Jack end up more Navajo than Anglo? And if he did, wasn’t that a good thing?

  Perhaps she needed to know a lot more about Navajo traditions before making such an important decision for her child’s life. In the meantime, she’d better think about ways of earning the money that would make leaving the reservation possible someday. Just in case.

  You can do anything you set your mind to, sweetheart.

  Lexie heard an old familiar voice wash over her like a soft caress and opened her eyes to find no one there. Her mother used to make the same comment a lot in her childhood, so often, in fact, it had become part of Lexie’s makeup.

  Was she daydreaming now? Was she so mixed up with loneliness and new emotions and worry for Jack that she’d been desperate for her mother’s voice simply as a friendly echo of a simpler time? Since the horrible day many years ago when she’d learned the truth about her mother’s death, Lexie had fought conflicted feelings about having a mother who had taken her own life.

  But now…

  Lexie closed her eyes again, remembering how badly she’d wanted to talk to her mother one more time. To ask why.

  She felt a movement and smelled the familiar lavender perfume. “Mommy?” Opening her eyes, she turned to find her mother sitting next to her on the couch.

  “It’s not crazy being able to see the spirit of someone who can help you in your time of need, Lexie. It’s a gift. The gift I left you, which you have always refused to acknowledge.”

  Lexie opened her mouth to say take back your damned gift —she didn’t want it. But no words came out. Her mouth just gaped open. Lexie knew very well what was happening to her, but that didn’t mean she liked it.

  It had always been her mother’s gift, to see and talk to the spirits of those who had died. And from the day when her mother had died by her own hand, Lexie had sworn never to become involved with such things. She’d tried to bury any hint of the same kind of dreams and had waged a constant battle within herself to remain normal.

  Now, reaching a shaky hand outward, Lexie was afraid…though not of her mother. Not even of seeing ghosts in general. No, she was petrified that the vision would disappear in a puff of smoke, and then she wouldn’t get to ask the questions that had haunted her for most of her life.

  The vision took her hand. “It’s okay, sweetie. I have come here to help you.”

  To hear her mother using the same endearment with her that she used with Jack was like having cold water thrown over her head. Lexie finally found her voice. “Mom, am I crazy now, too? Like you were? Is that what you’ve come to tell me?

  “Not at all, baby.” Her mother smiled, and Lexie found herself sighing over the way the corners of mother’s eyes crinkled up the way she remembered.

  “It’s important that someone can hear—and know,” her mother said cryptically. “You are the one with the sight now, and I’m only here to help you listen and hear.”

  The ghost of her mother chuckled and shrugged. “I guess it doesn’t really matter what any of us thinks we want. Sorry, sweetie. We all do what we are meant to do.”

  “I don’t want you.” Lexie found more than her voice. She found an old anger, one that had been building for twenty years. “You left me. You took the easy way out of your problems and left Dad and me all by ourselves. Go away now and leave me and my son alone.”

  “I’m sorry, Lexie,” her mother said with a catch in her voice. “I stayed for your sake as long as I could. But I was weaker than you are. You’re so much stronger than I could ever be, and you always have been.

  “I really never meant to hurt you, my love.”

  A part of Lexie wanted badly to believe her mother’s words. To find a way of letting go of the anger. But she couldn’t imagine any situation where she would simply give in and accept the visions without a fight.

  “I’ve been summoned here by spirits of the Navajo to help you learn to listen,” her mother continued. “They need your help. They need your strength.”

  “They do? But how on earth can I do anything for them? It’s all I can manage to help Jack and myself.”

  “The Navajo people have evil living amongst them. Evil they cannot see.”

  “Evil? Then maybe I should take Jack and leave.”

  “Jack is in no danger. Your son is exactly where he belongs. His Navajo blood and his Dine clan will protect him.”

  “Mom, you’re scaring me now. Is your job to frighten me?” There had always been a part of Lexie that had both hated and loved her mother. She might be willing to believe anything at this point.

  “Not at all. I know you’re conflicted.” Her mother reached over soothingly and patted the hand still holding hers. “I’ve only come to ask you to remain open and to learn. There is someone on this side who has a message for the Dine. You must
deliver the message. But they tell me you won’t understand unless you learn about the Way.”

  “But how…”

  “Listen to MichaelAyze. He offers both answers and protection. Soon you will get the opportunity to return his kindness. Most of the Navajo people don’t even know they are in need. But you can be the one to help them.”

  The mere mention of Michael made Lexie start to sweat. She dragged her hand from her mother’s and closed her eyes again. She visualized him standing over her in the rain, offering his strength and watching her with those penetrating and arrogant brown eyes.

  Suddenly the image in her mind changed, grew watery and indistinct. She thought she could hear someone breathing heavily in the darkness. Something was after her. Her heart beat wildly, thundering in her chest.

  This was nuts. Only a bad dream. Lexie forced open her eyes, fully expecting to see her mother next to her. But the figure sitting beside her on the couch now was not her mother.

  The dark image of an older Navajo man sat next to her, studying her with black eyes. His face was creased, and the jowls under his chin resembled a mean bulldog’s more than a real man’s. Lexie gasped for breath and scooted back, trying to put as much space between her and this unearthly vision as possible.

  “Where’s my mom? Who are you?” she managed at last.

  The creepy, demonic figure said nothing. But he reached out with strong, fat fingers and grabbed her hand.

  “Stop it. Let go of me.” Lexie was beginning to panic. Oh Lord. She was in big trouble here.

  He forced open her fisted hand and placed something small and smooth into her palm. Automatically, she closed her fingers over it and ripped her hand from his in self-defense.

  She had to protect herself, but the small, smooth objects he’d put into her hand were not much in the way of a defensive weapon, whatever they were. The very real beginnings of hysteria were making her unable to think. Closing her eyes against the onslaught of terrible panic, she curled her body into a tight ball and started to whimper.

  “Come on, Alexis. Easy now. You’re having a bad dream. It’s okay.” Michael sat beside her and touched her shoulder.

  She jerked open her eyes and fell into his outstretched arms. He caught her and tried to soothe her as she burrowed into his broad chest.

  “The man,” she whimpered. “Like a bad dog. Only really evil. Dark. He wanted—”

  “Nothing. It was only a dream.” Michael placed a soft kiss against her hair and rocked her in his arms.

  When he’d come into his parents’ front room and found her on the couch crying in her sleep, his heart had stood still. Now he felt her body trembling as she clung to him.

  He pulled her into his lap. “I’m here. You’re safe. That must have been some nightmare.”

  She moved restlessly against him. “It was real. I’ve fought against this for most of my life. But I couldn’t stop it this time. I…you won’t believe me.”

  “Shush.” He tipped her chin up so she could see his face, see how concerned he was for her welfare. “Relax a minute. If it still feels real and not like a dream after a few minutes, then tell me. I promise I’ll believe whatever you say.”

  She looked up at him, her eyes dark and unfocused in what seemed like lingering terror. Then she sighed and rested her head against his shoulder. He felt a shudder run through her body, and the immediate effect on him was devastating.

  He’d been afraid of this. The desire to protect her was urgent and overwhelming. He wanted to help her. More. He wanted to possess her. He thought he’d buried these unwanted feelings years ago, yet within twenty-four hours of her arrival, they were back as strong as ever.

  Dammit. He’d pictured himself as a solitary man, and imagined that’s just the way things were supposed to be for him. But he wanted this woman—both her body and spirit.

  He cursed himself for the bad timing. For the bad choice of woman. There was nothing right about the whole thing. But there you had it. He was desperate to make love to his brother’s widow.

  Lifting his head, he held his breath. He didn’t want to scare her. Things must seem so different here in Dinetah to her. Add in the fact her brother-in-law was a lust-crazed idiot, and it might just send her away for good.

  But it didn’t mean he still couldn’t protect her. Befriend her.

  “Don’t leave.” She jerked her head up.

  “I’m right here.” As he said the words, he felt her body relax.

  “I have to tell you about my background before what just happened to me will make any sense to you.”

  “All right. I’m listening.”

  “My mother…committed suicide when I was eight. She’d been born with a gift, the ability to see spirits. And it became too much for her to live with.”

  “Spirits? Like dead people?” Of all the things on earth he had thought she might tell him, this was the very last thing he would ever have imagined.

  Watching him carefully through those amazing, misty hazel eyes, Alexis nodded her head. “When I was little, my mother told me about having the sight and said she would train me to see ghosts, too. That I had to accept such things as my heritage.”

  “Did her abilities scare you? Did you consider what she told you a threat?”

  “Not at all. I thought it might be fun to see ghosts, even though my father warned me my mother’s ability made her weak and unhappy. He didn’t particularly want me to become involved. But he wouldn’t have stopped me.”

  Alexis took a deep breath. He noticed she had both hands fisted as if ready to fight for her visions, and he knew telling this was costing her something. He tightened his grip on her shoulders.

  “With maturity, I’ve realized my mother’s gift wasn’t the only thing that drove her to take her own life. She had many demons. But being so different, so odd, was the final problem that put her over the edge of sanity.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Shrugging, she gave him the slightest crack of a smile. “I’m not a confused little girl anymore. My father loved me enough for both of them. And I loved him enough to put any potential visions of my own aside. I refused to allow any spirits into my world from her death forward. And I’ve managed to hold them off ever since.”

  Her chest heaved in a tremendous sigh. “Until now.”

  “You mean you weren’t dreaming, but talking to dead people? Here? In my parents’ living room?” Michael glanced around, felt the chill and wondered how to help her. “That’s not something I would discuss with anyone else you might meet in Dinetah. ”

  “Huh?”

  “On the reservation. This land the Dine consider sacred.”

  “Oh. Here. Yeah, I imagine you probably think I’m insane. But what I told you is true.” She set her chin and pursed her lips.

  He heard her disappointment in him, watched her struggle with the words to make him understand. “I know dreams can sometimes seem very real,” he tried in a soothing tone. “Tell me about them.”

  She scowled up at him. He couldn’t stop himself from rubbing his thumb gently over the wrinkles she’d created in that gorgeous face.

  Pushing his hand away, she narrowed her eyes at him. “Aren’t you the one who is interested in research? I’ll tell you what I learned from the visions, but only if you promise to keep an open mind.”

  He crossed a hand over his chest. “I promise.”

  “Well, first of all, I spoke to my mother. She was sitting right where you are now.”

  “The same mother who committed suicide was here?”

  Her frown deepened. “Right. She said she came to tell me the Navajo people need me. I’m supposed to learn stuff from you so I can help them.”

  “You mean learn things about the Navajo Way

  , like my mother mentioned?” He’d thought Alexis wouldn’t go along with his mother’s suggestions. Maybe she was trying to tell him she’d changed her mind.

  “I wanted to ask more questions. But…” She hesitated and her eyes grew
dark again. “But then something terrible—a horrible image came out of nowhere and grabbed me.”

  “What? Are you hurt?” He rubbed his hands up and down her arms, trying to judge if she was in any pain.

  “No. Just scared. The image appeared to be an older Native American man. Navajo I suppose. But the vision was all watery and dark. In fact, the man kind of resembled a big dog instead of a real person.”

  “An animal?” Such a dream was an extremely bad omen for her to have in his world. “That must’ve been one nasty nightmare.”

  “It wasn’t a nightmare. I told you, I really saw him.” Lexie reared back and shoved her closed fist up toward his face where he could see it. “I can prove it. The very real nightmare gave me something. Look.”

  When she opened her fingers to show him, Michael was stunned to see small objects he clearly recognized in her palm. Bone beads.

  Swearing in Navajo, Michael fought his instinct to run.

  What the devil was going on here? Bone beads were the sign of the Skinwalkers!

  4

  “G ive those to me,” he demanded.

  Lexie closed her fist, not willing to give an inch. “Well, don’t look so horrified. It was me who saw ghosts, not you.”

  She watched as Michael’s face ran through a gamut of expressions. Within seconds, his mouth softened and his eyes took on a slightly superior edge. The look on his face had become the mirror image of one of her professors back at college. It was easy to tell what he did for a living.

  “Let me explain about Dine beliefs,” he said authoritatively.

  “Dine?”

  “The People. Navajo.”

  She nodded in understanding.

  “The Dine believe that when someone dies, their spirits, both good and bad, are released to the world with their last dying breath. The bad spirits are called chindi and they’re the evil forces that stick around after death to avenge some offense. The good spirits, or winds, inside a person quickly disperse to join the universal harmony.