Books by Linda Conrad
Page 109
He stepped into the cab and then turned back for a last word with Amber. “Thanks for helping out. I’m sorry you had to get involved, but I really appreciate it. I owe you one. But now I’d better drive Lexie back to my sister’s, before I get into more trouble than I already am.”
Starting the pickup, he waited for Amber to step away before shutting the door. As he closed it, though, he saw a smile spread across her face and could’ve sworn she made another comment as he backed out of the parking space.
He couldn’t be sure of what he heard over the engine noise, but he’d thought Amber mumbled something like, “You’ve got more trouble coming than you can imagine.”
When he glanced over at Lexie and found her smiling up at him, too, all thoughts of trouble rushed right out of his head. She wasn’t hurt and didn’t seem too upset with him. He didn’t care what else happened. There could never be any other trouble for him as long as she was okay.
“I need you to speed things up,” Michael whispered to his mother when Lexie had gone to get Jack ready for bed.
Michael and his mother were standing alone in his sister’s kitchen putting away the last of the dinner dishes. He’d been so glad to get Lexie back before dark, he’d barely had time to think of anything else but making sure she and Jack were reunited and happy.
His mother put down the dish towel and stared up at him with a twinkle in her eyes. “Any things in particular you want speeded up, my son?”
“Don’t be cute, Mother. I’m talking about the wedding you’re planning. Is there any reason we can’t hold the ceremony tomorrow or the next day?”
“That might be a little soon, but it could be arranged. Has the bride agreed to this big change?”
“I sort of thought you might talk to her about it for me,” he hedged, feeling like a fool. “Tell her how important it is for her and Jack’s future in Dinetah. ”
His mother patted his arm and nodded. “Before supper my daughter-in-law asked me what she should wear for the ceremony, but she never mentioned anything about there being a rush. I must say, though, she seemed every bit as eager as you do.”
“She what?” Surely he hadn’t heard his mother right.
A grin spread across his mother’s face. “Perhaps the two of you need to have a discussion about timing before I start contacting the relatives.”
Michael muttered a few choice words under his breath and went off to find his bride-to-be. He found her sitting at the side of her son’s bed. The two of them were talking softly as Lexie smoothed the sheets around her son the way Michael had seen his sister do for her kids.
He stood quietly in the shadows of the room’s threshold and waited for her to finish what seemed to be a ritual between mother and child.
“Should I call him Daddy after you get married?” Jack was asking his mother.
“We’ll see if that’s what Michael wants. Would you mind if he does?”
Jack shook his head. “No, my angel daddy said it would be okay for me to call him that.”
“Your angel daddy? What are you talking about, honey?”
Belatedly it occurred to Michael that there was one more person to be involved in this upcoming marriage. A four-year-old boy who might not have had time to get used to losing one father would now be faced with having a brand-new one. A man he hardly knew.
Michael held his breath and waited to hear what Jack had to say. A child’s words suddenly seemed much more important than anything he and Lexie could ever say to each other.
14
“Y ou know, Mommy,” Jack said earnestly. “My angel daddy. Like the picture in your wallet.”
Michael heard Lexie’s tone of voice change, becoming just the tiniest bit wary, as she said, “When did you see your angel daddy? Were you dreaming?”
Jack shook his head at his mother. “I wasn’t dreaming. He came last night and talked to me. You weren’t here to tuck me in. My angel daddy did it for you.”
“Uh-huh. Did he look like a real person? Like I do, sitting here now?”
“Oh, no, Mommy. He was a angel . Not a really person.”
Michael realized what Jack was saying and knew Lexie had figured it out, too. Her son had seen the ghost of his father last night. Jack had inherited her…talents.
Michael wasn’t sure how he felt about that.
But then he thought of Daniel. Michael’s heart ached at the memory of his dead brother. What would Daniel have said about him marrying Lexie and taking over his place with Jack?
“What did your angel daddy say, sweetie?” Lexie’s words echoed his own thoughts and came in a hushed whisper, as if she too dreaded hearing what Daniel’s ghost would say.
“He said you and Uncle Michael were getting married, and then Uncle Michael would be my new daddy.”
“Did he say he thought it would be a good thing?”
Jack nodded. “Sure, Mommy. My angel daddy said Michael was his big brother and he loved him and always took care of him. Now my new daddy will love me and take care of me, too.”
Emotion clawed at Michael’s throat as he struggled to keep the sudden tears at bay. Was it true Daniel had known he’d loved him all along? The idea was comforting and yet sad at the same time. Why couldn’t the two of them have said those words to each other when they’d mattered most?
“Let me hold you a second, sweetheart.” Michael heard the emotion in Lexie’s voice as she gathered Jack in her arms. “Maybe your new daddy will tuck you in tomorrow night. Would you like that?”
“Okay. But I’m almost too big for tucking. My cousin Ted says so.”
Lexie bent her head and kissed the top of her son’s head. “You’re not too big for loving. That’s what I have to say.”
Michael set his jaw and stood rigidly, waiting until Lexie finished with her good-nights. As she reached to turn off the bedside lamp, a faint shadow moved over both her and Jack. Michael blinked once in disbelief and the illusion disappeared. Had it been Daniel’s way of saying goodbye?
He shook off the crazy notion. But when Lexie backed out of the darkened room and came toward him, Michael felt sure marrying her was his destiny. Their marriage was right and it was bound to be a good thing. For everyone.
Lexie leaned so she could hear what Michael was saying. For such a big guy he certainly could speak softly.
It was late and they were standing on the back porch, trying to be quiet enough not to wake anyone. But as she moved in closer, the heat from his body began setting off internal sparks she couldn’t afford to have right now.
The more she was near him, the more in love she became. What a good man Michael Ayze was. Her admiration for him had jumped one thousand percent tonight. Just to think, the man had offered marriage when he didn’t even love her. But he would do it anyway, just so she and her son might fit in better on the reservation and hopefully avoid more witch trouble.
Other things were still up in the air. The two of them needed to learn to communicate better if they were going to be husband and wife. Maybe they would actually be married the day after tomorrow, but the terms of the marriage were far from decided.
“Tomorrow we can help move my parents back into their home,” he told her. “The next day we’ll be married in their ceremonial hogan. Then you and Jack can move over to my house. I’ll see about having a paddock built and buying him a pony of his own.”
Swallowing her nerves, Lexie nodded her agreement to everything he’d said. But there were other concerns. “What about my curing Sing? When will that happen?”
Michael ran his fingers through his hair. “We still have to find the old medicine man. But I have everyone in the Brotherhood on the lookout. He’s bound to turn up soon.”
“I guess that will have to be good enough.” She looked up at her husband-to-be and saw dark clouds flooding his eyes. “You heard Jack talking about Dan’s ghost, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Are you upset because my son sees ghosts like I do?”
&n
bsp; “Not much I can do about it, is there?”
That wasn’t the answer she’d hoped to hear. But it could’ve been worse. At least Michael had agreed to marry her and become Jack’s stepfather, even knowing about the ghosts. Her son was going to get his chance to be a true Navajo.
“We’ll have to go to the Navajo Tribal administrative offices at Window Rock tomorrow and take out a marriage license,” Michael continued as if the subject of ghosts had not come up. “Everything needs to be done legally.”
Lexie couldn’t hold back the deep sigh so she looked down at the ground and hid her eyes. “Okay.”
Michael put his finger under her chin and lifted her face. “Are you unhappy about something? Would you prefer having a big, splashy Anglo ceremony more like the one you and Daniel had?”
She twisted her face and refused to look at him. “Not at all.”
“Then what is it?”
“You haven’t once asked me about Dan.” Shoot. She hadn’t meant to say anything, but now it was out she might as well continue. “At first I convinced myself I loved him. But I grew to know better. What I felt for Dan wasn’t real love. I had a big crush on him in the beginning, but the marriage never would’ve lasted. Dan was a gambler and I know he cheated on me. Before Jack arrived both of us had already been thinking about divorce.”
“Our marriage will never end up in divorce, Lexie, if that’s what you’re afraid of.” Michael’s voice was rough and his face was half hidden in the shadows.
“When you and I marry, it will be for a lifetime.”
“Oh, I didn’t mean to imply—”
“It’s okay,” he said, softening his tone. “I know you don’t love me. That’s no secret. And I know this marriage is mostly for Jack’s benefit. But it will still be a commitment for our lifetimes. I won’t ever betray you, and I expect you to treat me with the same respect. If that bothers you, or if you can’t make promises like those, then back out now.”
He didn’t know. Was it possible he hadn’t been able to read the truth in her eyes? Could she have been so good at pretending she wasn’t in love with him that he really believed it?
Unfortunately, Lexie was all too painfully aware she hadn’t managed to convince herself. She loved Michael enough to change her whole life for him.
“I’m not backing out,” was all she could say.
“Fine.” He took a deep breath. “Then I think we’d better get some sleep. There’s going to be a lot to accomplish over the next couple of days.”
He bent his head to kiss her and she panicked. Pulling back, Lexie silently bit her tongue and shook her head. If he kissed her, she would surely fall into a mangled heap at his feet, and become a quivering mass of desperate jelly. She’d be on her knees begging him to love her in an instant.
Her whole body ached with wanting him. It was terrible to be so totally in love with someone, when that person obviously didn’t share the same feelings. After the two of them were married she wouldn’t have any choice but to give him the upper hand in their relationship. But until then, she could at least keep her dignity.
Michael frowned down at her through the moonlight. “Our marriage is going to be for real, Alexis. In every way. Don’t think otherwise.”
He stepped back and studied her face. “But I won’t push you for tonight. I know the idea of this arranged marriage may be confusing for you. Once we’re married, though, you won’t pull away from me. That’s part of the commitment.”
When she didn’t argue with him, he spun around without another word and strode into the house. Which left her puddling in an emotional heap anyway. She might as well have taken the pleasure in letting him kiss her.
“Stolen? You’re joking. That can’t be.” Lexie’s face turned ashen and Michael took her elbow to steady her.
Not quite twenty-four hours had passed since they’d become engaged. And not quite fifteen hours remained until they would be married. Michael’s thoughts were scattering in ten different directions at once. Lexie was everything he’d dreamed of and all he had been able to think about for days now.
Still, it was hard for him to believe yesterday he’d been so wrapped up in saving Lexie at the college, and then in getting her to marry him, that he’d forgotten about the laptop back at his office. With just a single half hour to spare today, he’d gone dashing back to pick it up. Only to discover the computer had disappeared.
He hated having to admit, after all the hard work and sacrifice in finding those pictographs, their prize was likely now in the hands of the enemy. He felt like a complete fool.
“Afraid it’s no joke,” he said soberly.
“But who could’ve stolen it from your office?”
“Excellent question. The Brotherhood will be meeting later to discuss the possibilities. This afternoon my cousin Hunter even went to the cave where you and I located the pictographs, hoping to copy them down again. But they had already been destroyed.”
The Brotherhood had lost the momentum in their war, all due to Michael’s actions. The Dine would pay dearly for his lapse, perhaps forever.
“I hate leaving you on the night before our wedding,” he told Lexie. “But this problem is all my fault. I need to find some way to make amends.”
She reached over and lightly touched his arm in sympathy. “It’s not all your fault. Most of the fault is mine, in fact. You weren’t the one to start the crazy witch business.
“Please do whatever you need to do.” She took a breath and gazed up at him, sincerity shining from those gorgeous eyes. “You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. If anyone can figure out how to fix things and get the computer back, it’ll be you.”
Michael fisted his hands to keep from enfolding her in his arms. But it didn’t help. As he stood there, lost in the heaven of her gaze, his mind began shutting down again.
Important things became much less so in the waning hours of a dusky day and as he stood transfixed and stared into her eyes. He was struck dumb with the absolute necessity of kissing her. His whole world suddenly came down to just one touch of his lips to hers. It was as if the Skinwalkers did not exist.
“I…” He grazed his knuckles along her jawline. “I lost my balance somewhere out there in the desert the other day, Lexie. But once we’re married, I know I’ll regain it. You’ll guide me through.”
He leaned in, desperate to taste. As caught up in her as he was, nothing else mattered but the moment and the passion he was seeing in her eyes.
When he got close enough, though, he saw the same speck of hesitation as he had last night. And now, he watched as her golden hazel eyes clouded with uncertainty. About him?
He cleared his throat and took a step back. “Tell Jack I’ll tuck him in another night. I’m sorry, but I have to go. Have my mother explain what will happen during the wedding. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Not able to stand where he was for even another second, he walked off. He couldn’t stay, not when every atom in his body cried out for her. And not when she was looking at him as though he were a gigantic piece of chocolate cake and she had just begun a strict diet.
The next time they were alone they would be husband and wife. And then, he wouldn’t mind at all being dessert. But for now, for one last time, he needed to get the hell away from her before he ruined everything.
Lexie tiptoed out the back door of her in-laws’ house and sat on the stoop. It felt a bit frosty outside at this predawn hour, but Lexie had wrapped a heavy jacket around her pajamas. The early morning quarter moon was still illuminating the entire area and a canopy of twinkling stars swirling above her head added their own special brilliance.
Staring up at celestial bodies outlined against an indigo sky brought to mind Michael saying how much he loved clear nights such as this one. She wondered if he was looking up at the same sky from wherever he was tonight. Worry over Michael and all that he faced had been keeping her from sleep.
Wishing she could be by his side to help out, Lexie pulled h
er knees up under her chin and rested her head in her hands. Her mind went over and over everything, and her thoughts kept turning to the Brotherhood’s desperate fight to save the Dine from Skinwalkers.
Why did everything seem so mixed-up? Her job as Message Bearer hadn’t turned out to be very much help since the computer and the petroglyphs had been stolen. It was even entirely possible her presence had been what cost them the answers. Michael was blaming himself, but Lexie knew he hadn’t been the real problem.
What other potential disasters might she end up causing Michael and the Brotherhood?
Later today the two of them were supposed to marry. But was that really a smart idea? After all, a decent, honorable guy who didn’t love her was willing to devote the rest of his life to making her and her son legitimate in the eyes of traditional Navajo. It was exactly what she’d needed and hoped for. But would it mean tragedy for him in the end?
Could she really be so selfish as to ask him to give up his whole future for her?
“You are prepared to accept a message now, daughter-in-law of the Big Medicine Clan?”
As she turned to see who had spoken, Lexie’s heart was pounding in double time. There by the door stood the same middle-aged Navajo man’s ghost who’d frightened her the first night she’d been in Dinetah. But on that night the spirit hadn’t spoken, and had only stared and grabbed for her hand.
On the first occasion his ghostly image had woven in and out, right in front of her eyes. Back then the vision of him had blurred together with the image of a wild dog. This time, the sight of the spirit seemed to be more stable—and a lot less scary.
“What do you want with me?” she asked and surprised herself with the strength in her voice.
“You are now ready to carry my message to the Brotherhood. I have been waiting. This is my one chance for salvation and you cannot fail me.”
“Excuse me? I don’t think I’m ready for anything at the moment. You must be mistaken.”