“You prayed?”
“Every single day.”
She giggled. “And you couldn’t? Keep your hands off me?”
He looked a bit chagrined. “Guilty. As you can see.”
“It’s all right, James. I couldn’t keep my hands off you either.”
“I tried my damnedest,” he said, reaching out and stroking the curl that lay on her shoulder, tempting him.
“I didn’t.” She laughed.
He pulled her into his arms and kissed her again. And it was several minutes later before he pulled his mouth from hers.
He tapped her nose with his fingertip. “Now that we’ve been so scandalous, my lady, we really do need to talk.”
She curled up under his shoulder and wrapped her arm around his waist. “Oh, not now, James. We can talk tomorrow, can’t we? Tonight I just want to fall asleep in your arms.
He wrapped his arms around her more tightly. “Merry Christmas, Kate,” he whispered into her sweet-smelling hair.
“Merry Christmas, James.”
She giggled.
“What’s so funny?”
“You know what I want for a Christmas gift?” she asked with a sly smile on her face.
He leered at her. “What?”
She blushed beautifully and ducked her head under the sheet. “To do that again.”
He pulled up the sheet and followed her underneath. “That, my lady, can be easily arranged.”
* * *
When Kate awoke, the room was still dark. Thank goodness the maids weren’t up yet. The curtains were still drawn. None of the bright light from outdoors filtered into the room. She sat up and eyed James. His seamless brow, his smooth forehead, the straight line of his nose. He was so handsome. Handsome and noble and … he probably would make the perfect husband. He was perfect in all else, why not that? But the part she liked best was how his hair was mussed. She’d never seen him with mussed hair before. The man had always looked flawless. Apparently, even James wasn’t entirely perfect every minute. Though, she thought to herself with a small secret smile, last night had been. It had been exactly that. Perfect. In every way.
It wasn’t possible that she would forget it any time soon … or … ever. The things he’d done to her. Oh, she shuddered just thinking about them again. Some of them were indecent. Some of them were perhaps illegal. But all of them were immensely … fun. She giggled to herself. Good heavens. When was the last time she’d giggled?
Oh, this man, he brought out the most unexpected emotions in her. She searched his handsome sleeping face. One of them was … love. She sucked in her breath. Oh God, she loved him. She did. And it was because of that that she couldn’t allow him to throw away his life on her.
James stirred in his sleep. He opened one hazel eye. “Good morning.” He gave her a sensuous smile and her stomach flipped.
“Good morning,” she whispered back.
He sat up, pulled her into his arms, kissed her deeply, and Kate became aroused all over again by his expert touch.
He kissed her shoulder, her ear, the bend in her neck. Then he whispered into her hair. “We’ll be married as soon as I can procure a license.”
Kate’s heart stopped. She propped herself up on one elbow, holding the sheet to her chest. “What?”
He kissed her cheek. “It shouldn’t take longer than a day or two. I’ll go to London tomorrow. I’ll leave at first light.”
She shook her head and pushed herself away a little. “No.”
He looked up at her. His brow was furrowed. “No? Why? Is it because you’re still supposed to be in mourning?”
She shook her head. “What? No. I’ve caused such a scandal already, I don’t care about that. But we can’t marry, James.”
This time he sat up and his face wore a thunderous expression. “What do you mean? We just spent the night together, I thought that meant—”
She closed her eyes. “I want to, James. Truly, I do. But what people want and what people get are often two very different things. Don’t you know that?”
He grasped her shoulders, forced her to open her eyes and look at him. “It doesn’t have to be like that, Kate.”
She moved away from him, to the edge of the bed, the sheet still wrapped around her. “I’m a complete outcast. The ton will never accept me. I can’t be your wife. I’d ruin you. You must know that.”
“I don’t give a damn about the ton. We’re getting married just as soon as I procure a license.”
Kate didn’t answer. She let her hair fall over her face, hiding her torn expression. She wanted so desperately to believe. She held the dream in her head. She cherished it. Nurtured it. Could it be real? Could she truly stay with him? Could they find love?
CHAPTER 36
James left her room. In the early morning hours, he gathered his clothes and boots, slipped into the hall, and was gone. Afterward, Kate had lain on the bed and closed her eyes, remembering all the delicious things he’d done to her body last night and allowing herself a moment … to dream.
The dreams she’d had while locked in the Tower were never this good. She and James, getting married. She and James, spending their lives together. She and James, with children. She sucked in her breath. She couldn’t even imagine that happiness. Didn’t dare to dream it. In the end, she’d told him she had to think about it, that she would give him her answer later today, but she knew he thought he’d won. He thought their marriage was a foregone conclusion. Oh, how wonderful it would be if she could believe so strongly too. James might say he didn’t care about her ruined reputation and the fact that Society would cast them both out, but did he mean it?
He might mean it now while their relationship was new and they were happy. But she’d seen how quickly feelings could change. She and George had been happy once too … or so she’d thought. And then one day everything had changed. No, she couldn’t bear it if that happened with James. Marriage was difficult enough without huge problems at the start. They wouldn’t be able to survive the pressure of her blackened reputation. James would come to resent her, as George had. Just for a different reason.
A soft knock sounded at the door. Kate blinked open her eyes and quickly rolled back over and sat up. Surely it wasn’t James … again? She pulled up the covers to her chin. “Come in.”
The door cracked open and Lily’s head appeared. “Good morning, Kate. May I come in?”
“Of course,” Kate answered brightly. She bit her lip. Oh, what would Lily Morgan think about her antics last night? She couldn’t even consider it. She looked away, a blush heating her cheeks.
“Merry Christmas,” Lily said, coming to sit on the edge of the bed.
Kate smiled brightly. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had such a good Christmas morning. “Merry Christmas to you. And thank you again for inviting me here.”
“I do hope I didn’t wake you. I just wanted to come and check on you. The men have gone riding this morning. They took Justin with them. So it’s just Annie and I downstairs for breakfast if you’d like to join us.”
Kate nodded and stretched. “Yes. I’d like that very much.”
“Excellent.” Lily stood and walked over to the windows. She glanced outside. “My, it snowed quite a lot last night.”
Kate looked toward the window, but of course she couldn’t see out. “Did it?”
“Yes,” Lily replied. “It’s sure to be a merry Christmas.”
Kate stretched and yawned this time. She wholeheartedly agreed. “I’ll just see you downstairs in a few minutes.”
Lily nodded. “I’ll send up a maid to help you dress.”
Lily made her way over to the door and opened it. She turned back momentarily. “And I just wanted to tell you again, Kate, that whatever you decide to do after the holiday, Devon and I support you completely. You can stay here, go to London, whatever you’d like.”
Kate sat up straight. “Thank you, Lily. You’re very kind. I haven’t yet decided what I shall do, but I’m
ever so grateful for your friendship.”
Lily nodded. “Medford would help you too, you know?”
Kate glanced down at her hands. She traced the flowered pattern of the bedspread with her fingertip. “I know.”
Shutting the door, Lily quickly moved back over and sat on the edge of the bed again. “You should consider giving James a chance. He’s so noble and honorable. And I think he cares for you a great deal.”
“Yes, and all I’ve done is ruin his reputation. I’ll never forgive myself. I cannot help but think it will be better for him if I go to the Continent.”
Lily frowned. “Ruined his reputation? No. Sullied perhaps. But don’t worry about that. James can take care of himself. He can be very charming when he needs to be; no doubt he’ll be back in the good graces of the ton before spring. Besides.” Lily paused. “I don’t think James wants you to go to the Continent.”
Kate’s head snapped up. “Did you speak with him…? Today, I mean.”
Lily shook her head. “No.”
Kate expelled her breath. For a moment she’d wondered if James had told Lily he’d asked her to marry him, though he’d done it in a roundabout way. “I’ve no wish to see what’s left of James’s reputation be ruined because of me.”
“Reputation is important to him,” Lily amended. “But it’s not the most important thing.”
Kate furrowed her brow. “What’s the most important?”
“I told you before, James has a deep need to fix everything.” Lily squeezed her hand. She stood and walked toward the door. She fluttered her hand in the air. “Why, he even tried to marry me once because of it. Poor man. We would have made each other miserable of course. But that’s the sort of man he is. He knew I had nowhere else to turn so he offered for me.”
Kate went hot then cold. She clutched at the bed sheets. “Ja … James offered for you?”
Lily nodded. “Yes. It was months ago, and he was only doing it out of duty. He’s such a dear friend.”
Kate’s stomach clenched. Duty. Of course. How could she have forgotten that? James might have forgotten himself and made love to her last night. But he’d only offered for her last night out of duty. Not love. Never love. Now that she considered it, he hadn’t even said the words, had he? No. He was just trying to fix everything. As usual.
She pressed her hand against her belly, feeling as if she might retch. Lily didn’t know it but she’d just saved her from making another terrible mistake when it came to marriage. Kate had told herself once that it didn’t hurt to daydream. What a lie that had been.
She sucked in a deep breath. She had to go. Had to get out of here.
“Lily,” she said, just as the other woman was about to leave.
Lily turned back around.
“Yes?”
“I believe I’ve made my decision.”
CHAPTER 37
James came barreling into the morning room where Lily and Devon were having afternoon tea. Annie and Jordan had already left to go to Colton House and meet Ashbourne’s brothers. Justin sat in the corner playing with the toys he’d received for Christmas just that morning. The three dogs sat happily watching.
“Where is she?” James tossed the note that Kate had left for him, the one that said she couldn’t marry him and was leaving for the Continent as soon as possible, on the table in front of them.
Lily’s biscuit dropped to her plate. She and Devon exchanged glances.
“Where is who?” Devon barely glanced up from his cup.
“Kate. She’s gone,” James ground out.
“Gone?” Devon’s eyebrows shot up and he gave his wife a suspicious stare.
James clenched his fist. “Damn it, Colton. I’ll rip this bloody house apart if you don’t tell me where she is!”
Colton set down his cup and placed his hands on his hips. He returned James’s angry stare. “First of all, there is a child present.” He glanced at Justin who had turned around to watch. The child’s dark eyes were as wide as the dogs’ collars. “And secondly, I do not know where she is, Medford. And I won’t have you raising your voice to my wife who apparently does know.”
Lily made a great show of smoothing her skirts. “Yes, I know. But I cannot tell you. And neither can Annie.” She looked a bit guilty and a bit reluctant. “I’m sorry, Medford.”
“So, there you have it,” Colton replied. “Kate asked Lily and Annie to keep it secret and they are honoring her wishes.”
James lunged at Colton. Lily jumped up and placed a hand on his chest. James took a step back.
The three of them stared at each other. James was breathing heavily, his eyes shooting fire at Colton. Justin raised his eyebrows and turned back around to attend to his toys.
James turned away from Colton with a jerk, straightened his jacket, and ran his fingers through his hair, disheveling it. “Fine,” he ground out. “I’ll find her myself.” Turning on his heel, he stalked from the room.
Lily and Devon watched him go, each shaking their heads.
“Poor Medford.” Lily sighed.
“What the deuce has got into that chap?” Colton asked.
“I cannot believe that was our James,” Lily added.
Colton shook his head. “It seems positively impossible, I admit. But I do believe Lord Medford has fallen in love.”
* * *
James spent a bloody fortune. He’d bribed the proprietors of every hotel in London and the surrounding vicinity. If Kate was staying anywhere in the lower half of the country, by God, he’d intended to find out. He nearly called Mr. Horton, to track her down.
She was not, however, staying at a hotel. And his money, in fact, was not what found her.
As he did every morning at precisely seven-thirty, Locke delivered his employer’s perfectly pressed copy of the Times.
James accepted the paper in the midst of his stack of correspondence, his cup of black coffee, and his urgent business papers. Somewhere in between his third bite of eggs and toast, he carefully shook out the front page and casually scanned the headlines.
After dutifully reading the business news and parliamentary proceedings, James flipped the pages to the Society section. He’d had his eye on a certain story. Seemed the entire town wanted to know the answer to the same question he did. Where in the hell was the newly exonerated dowager Duchess of Markingham? And it seemed while there was quite a bit of conjecture, no one, including himself, knew. Damn it. Had she managed to leave for the Continent already? Had she slipped out of town that quickly without anyone becoming the wiser? It didn’t seem possible, but as the days passed with no sighting of her, it began to seem more and more likely.
Minutes later, Locke reentered the breakfast room clearing his throat. “Lady Eversly to see you, milord.”
James snapped up his head. “Lady Catherine? To see me? At this hour?”
Locke tactfully kept his eyes downcast. “She indicated it was quite urgent, my lord.”
“Very well. Show her in.”
Not two seconds later, Catherine Eversly swept past Locke into the room. She wore her white-blond hair in a chignon and her ice-blue silk gown clung to every curve of her perfect figure. Catherine was a beauty, and she knew it. Neither friend nor foe, she and James shared a sort of peaceable trust. She was also quite married.
“So glad you invited me in, Medford,” she said with a regal shake of her head. “Or that might have been a bit awkward.”
Locke gave the woman a narrow-eyed glare before retreating from the room after a nod from his master.
James stood, pulled the napkin from his lap, and bowed. “Lady Catherine. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
Catherine swept forward, her fine white-blond eyebrow arched. James always got the feeling that he was standing in the presence of royalty when Catherine entered a room. More like Marie Antoinette than Queen Caroline, however. And Catherine was always up to something.
James gestured to the rosewood chair next to him. “Please have a seat. May I offer y
ou some breakfast?” He nodded to a waiting footman, indicating to fill a plate, but Catherine waved a well-manicured hand impatiently in the air.
“No, no, I couldn’t possibly eat. I’ll simply have a cup of tea.”
Another nod to the footman and a china teacup appeared in front of Catherine. She slid into the chair next to James and leaned enticingly toward him. Catherine always knew how to display her—ahem—self to her best advantage even at this hour of the morning.
“You surprise me, my lady, I didn’t think you rose until after noon.”
Catherine smiled her infamous feline smile and dipped a silver spoon into her teacup to stir. “My, my, we are formal this morning. You haven’t called me by my title in an age. And I never rise before noon if I can help it.”
James eyed her over his coffee cup. “I know you haven’t come to discuss our first-name basis. So tell me, why are you here? What’s got you out of your bed at such an early hour?”
Catherine picked up her cup and brought it to her lips. She took a sip and put it down with a little flourish. She nodded toward the paper James held in his hand. “See the latest?” she asked with an unmistakable sparkle in her eye.
He lifted his brows. “About?”
“Ah, don’t play coy with me, James. I happen to know you have the Times open to page five.”
James glanced briefly at the page in his lap. Page 5. He quickly folded it and tossed it onto the gleaming mahogany tabletop. “What’s your point?”
“My point is, I know you are interested in the whereabouts of the dowager Duchess of Markingham.”
James struggled to keep his face blank. He knew Catherine well enough to know the lady never got directly to the point. She would tell him what she had to say in due time and he would endeavor to keep from throttling her while he waited.
“Do you have news for me?” he asked in a steady voice.
She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Why else would I be here at this ungodly hour?”
His voice simmered. He spoke through clenched teeth. “Tell me, Catherine. Do you know where Kate is?”
Secrets of a Scandalous Marriage Page 21
