Shapeless

by Glenn Bullion

  "Hold on one moment," Donovan said.

  Larry stood motionless as Donovan opened the apartment door. The hooker lay on the carpet with only a bra on. She raised her hands in self-defense as Draeke raised his fist, trying to grab her hair with his other hand.

  He turned when he heard the door. Letting out a gap-filled snarl, he stepped over the hooker and approached.

  "What the fuck is your—?"

  Donovan shot him in the head. Blood and brain matter covered the floor, the walls, the hooker. She let out a shriek and stared at her arms and stomach. She rubbed at her legs, trying to push the gore away.

  Larry said nothing. His mouth hung open as his complexion turned pale. Donovan tucked his weapon away and nodded at the doctor.

  "Come now, Doctor," Donovan said. "I know you've seen plenty of dead bodies before. Let's get going."

  CHAPTER 12

  Brady wasn't sure if the food smelled delicious or disgusting. He decided on delicious as he walked across the parking lot. The sun was barely above the horizon. He wasn't used to seeing the strip mall in the light. More cars, more people, more life. He had to make a point of getting out of the mall during the day more often.

  His eyes drifted to the corner of the strip as he crossed the street. Only a few days ago Frank and his merry band of assholes nearly beat him senseless not far away. Brady found himself a little more aware of his surroundings than usual. He glanced around, taking in the sights, the people moving about. He didn't see anyone watching him, filming him with a camera.

  Still, he would be careful.

  He passed an arguing couple and an elderly woman poking at her phone before heading into his favorite porn shop. Lily didn't hear him come in. She sat on a stool at the register, hunched over a book. Her hair was a new color yet again, with streaks of green and pink. She wore a spaghetti-strap tank top, showing off her beautiful tattoo and pale skin.

  Lily was truly in her own world. She didn't budge as he approached. Did she even smell the food? He stood in front of the register, resting his elbows on the counter.

  "Excuse me, ma'am," he said loudly. She nearly fell off the stool. "Do you have anything to make my dick bigger?"

  "Shit!" she said, putting a hand over her heart. "Brady! Don't sneak up like that, you ass."

  "I didn't really sneak. I opened the door, and walked in." He tried to turn his head to see what she was reading. "What are you checking out?"

  Lashing out like a snake, she snatched the book. She pulled it toward her, keeping the cover toward her chest.

  "Oh, no," she said, shaking her head. "No, no, no."

  It was Brady's turn to be startled. He took a step back, surprised at Lily's reaction.

  "What? What is it?"

  "This is private," she said. "My own, personal private reading material."

  "Damn, okay. Sorry."

  She frowned as she looked him up and down. Brady suddenly felt like he was intruding. Perhaps his idea was a bad one. Lily tucked the book away under the counter, not taking her eyes off him.

  "What are you doing here?" she asked. "It's not Friday. Hell, it's not even night."

  He held up the bag.

  "Dinner time. Tacos. I usually eat in the mall, but believe it or not, they do let us leave."

  "Ah," she said, straightening on the stool. Finally, a smile escaped. "That's why you're wearing the ugly uniform."

  He glanced at his clothes, trying not to take the comment personally. It was a perfect replica of the standard mall security uniform, and literally a part of him. Calling it ugly was almost like calling him ugly. He knew the thought was irrational, but it was still there.

  "Okay, well…." He set the bag on the counter. "Let's dig in. No drinks, though. I didn't feel like lugging them across the lot. But I can walk to the corner store real quick." He winced as a thought occurred. He'd paid for dinner with a twenty-dollar bill, then put the change in his locker. Old habits were hard to break. He didn't typically carry cash with him. He didn't typically carry anything. "Ah, nope, never mind. I left my money at work."

  He emptied the bag, setting wrapped tacos along the counter. It took a moment to realize Lily wasn't reacting. She merely stared at the food before her, with a look of confusion.

  "You bought me dinner?"

  The tone was enough to make Brady pause. He took her in, admiring her pretty features. It almost seemed as if no one had ever bought her dinner before. He found that hard to believe. Men probably bought her dinner all the time, although no doubt with far different motives than his own.

  "Yeah." He went back to their time together last Friday night. "Don't worry, this isn't a date. You can buy next time. We'll be even. Besides…." He looked down at his uniform. "I'd never go on a date in this."

  Brady's stomach growled as he tore into a taco. His eyes drifted through the store, absorbing the various levels of adult debauchery. He'd never really studied the place before. He simply went to the movie section, picked out a title, and left.

  He turned back to see Lily still staring at him. She hadn't reached for a taco, didn't even look at them.

  "Brady, look, I…." She couldn't find the words, so she gestured to dinner while she searched for them. "This is really sweet. It is. But I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now."

  He studied her like she'd done to him. Not a single sparkle of humor behind her eyes. Just tension and a bundle of nerves. She was serious. The carefree sprite he was getting to know had disappeared.

  He took another bite, wishing desperately he had something to drink.

  "You mean my plan of seducing you with tacos has failed?"

  "I'm not joking."

  He shook his head in disbelief. How did everything suddenly get complicated and awkward? Did he totally misread their time together at his apartment? She didn't flirt, as far as he could tell, didn't reach for his hand, didn't find excuses to brush into him. They were friends, as far as he could tell. He didn't think buying fast food from a mall was very romantic.

  "I can see that," he said. "Lily, these aren't moves, here. These are tacos. Tacos without drinks."

  She didn't seem entirely convinced, but her stance softened somewhat.

  "Really?"

  "Look at us," he said, gesturing back and forth. "We're not exactly a matching couple."

  Lily arched an eyebrow, going from apprehensive to insulted. She didn't take his comment well.

  "Oh? I don't watch enough porn for you?"

  He rolled his eyes, probably another shovel of dirt in the hole he was digging for himself. He wished he was at his favorite table at the mall, happily eating dinner alone.

  "You probably have a lot of friends. You say you go out all the time. I have zero friends. I don't go out. You aren't afraid of needles." He gently touched her tattoo. "I've never had one in my life, and would probably pass out if someone pointed one at me. I doubt people would look at us and go 'Hey, they belong together.'"

  Brady went quiet, not sure of what else to say. He finished one taco and started another, content to say nothing. He didn't know how to convince her he wasn't hitting on her. Whether she believed him or not, he was hungry. He would finish dinner, then go back to work.

  Finally, Lily reached for a taco and smiled.

  "Actually," she said. "I hate needles." She gestured to her dragon. "I cried all the way through this."

  "I would, too."

  All at once, the tension went away. Lily could light up a room, if she wanted to. She gestured over her shoulder and took a step away from the counter.

  "We have drinks in the back," she said. "Would you watch things for a sec? If anyone tries to steal anything, just pretend you're my security guard."

  He glanced again at the empty store. It was quiet, almost uncomfortably so. They needed some fans in the corners, anything for some ambient noise.

  "Uh, yeah. I'll keep a close eye out."

  Five minutes later Brady and Lily were eating tacos and drinking soda. He loved to watch her eat
. She didn't dabble at her food, didn't pick. Taco after taco vanished. He thought her appetite over the weekend had to do with her skipping dinner. But that wasn't the case; Lily could eat.

  Lily did most of the talking. Brady was more than happy to listen. The less he talked about himself, the better. She told him the story of how she got her job, how a stop at the adult shop for laughs with her friends turned into work when her future-boss flirted with her. She spoke about her friend and roommate, Emma, and how they met at a laundromat. She told Brady stories about things he didn't understand, like parties and all-night dancing at clubs.

  She was a fun, intriguing woman, and he simply liked being around her.

  "Okay, enough about me," she said, finishing the last taco. "Tell me about you. That alien stuff you watch, how did you get into that?"

  "Ah, sorry, I have to get going," he said. He was purposely evading the question, but also wasn't lying. He had to get back to the mall. "Or stores and kiosks will just go crazy without me."

  "Very clever," she said, with an amused smile. "Keep me in the dark and coming back for more."

  He gathered their trash and tossed it in the can near the front door.

  "Yeah. All part of my plan."

  "Do you need a ride home after work?"

  "No, but thanks. I got it covered."

  "How? You're going to walk for an hour? I'm sorry, but there's just no way. Seriously, how do you get around?"

  Brady hesitated, and that pause made Lily perk up. She leaned forward, resting her head in her hands.

  "Ooh, more mysteries," she said. "Now you have to tell me."

  He pushed away the irritation. Obviously, he didn't put enough thought into having a true friend for the first time. Did they always ask a lot of questions? Did she need to know everything about him?

  He wanted to get to know Lily better. But now he wondered if that was a mistake. He had too many secrets.

  "Maybe…I could use a ride," was all he could think to say.

  She shook her head and laughed. "Jesus, you're weird."

  "We already know this."

  "I'll meet you at the mall, after I close up. Front entrance."

  "You got it," he said, moving to the door. "See you in a few hours."

  She stopped him as he stepped one foot outside.

  "Hey, Brady?"

  "Yeah?"

  She shook her soda at him. "Thanks for dinner. This was…." She searched for the word. "Different. I could get used to this."

  Brady smiled and left. Dinner with Lily was light, fun, relaxing, frustrating. He wasn't quite sure what he'd gotten himself into.

  He couldn't wait to do it again.

  *****

  Lily checked her surroundings as she locked the door to the shop behind her. The parking lot was empty except for some birds scattered about. Satisfied no one was lurking in the shadows, she headed for her car. It was an irrational fear, she tried to tell herself. But she never felt completely comfortable locking up the store late at night.

  Another long, boring night was behind her. The only thing that happened of interest was her boss's wife calling, wondering where he was. Lily honestly had no idea, and she could only imagine the trouble brewing on the home front. She could only hope Frank didn't ask her to lie for him, as he'd done before.

  Brady stopping by was a pleasant surprise.

  She wasn't sure she believed him when he claimed he wasn't interested in anything beyond being friends. All guys she knew said that. But the truth was she did like Brady. Her own best friends wouldn't even bring her dinner. As odd as he was, he was fun to be around, with a sense of humor that seemed to match her own.

  If Brady did get out of line with flirting or advances, she would set him straight.

  It was a short drive across the highway to the mall. She didn't see him at first, and for a moment thought maybe he'd already left. Then he appeared next to the door, seemingly out of nowhere. He didn't wear his uniform, just a simple pair of jeans and a plain shirt. She'd never tell him, but he looked good in jeans.

  She slowed down as she pulled alongside and rolled down the window.

  "Hey, stranger," she said. "Going my way?"

  He smiled as he climbed in.

  "I hope so. Let's go."

  "What's your hurry?"

  He pointed in the rear-view mirror.

  "Do you see that Honda back there?"

  "Yeah."

  "Well, there's a couple having sex in there. And I kind of want to leave before I feel guilty for not doing my job."

  "Hey, you're clocked out, right? Can't be protecting the mall all the time. I don't sell porn when I'm off-duty."

  "Sure you do. You brought some to my apartment."

  "That's different." She batted her eyes playfully. "You're special."

  "You have no idea."

  Lily didn't have any trouble remembering the way to Brady's apartment. It was her third drive over, already more than she thought she'd make since that night he played her hero. She passed several buses, and had to think that was how Brady made it to and from work. It was simply too far to walk. Maybe he was embarrassed he didn't have a car and rode the bus.

  They both enjoyed the silence. Brady eventually asked about her day, and she relayed the boring phone call from Frank's wife.

  "Oh, wow," he said. "He's out cheating?"

  "Probably. Frank is great. He helped me get on my feet after some tough shit. But he has trouble keeping it in his pants."

  Brady turned to watch her. "What tough shit?"

  Lily said nothing. She only gripped the steering wheel tighter. The memories tried to attack, but she held them down.

  She deflected the question with a smile.

  "Shit I don't like to talk about."

  "Hey, no problem. I know all about that."

  The patronization stung. She glanced at him with a look of disdain. Somehow, she doubted he'd been through the same things she had.

  "Oh, do you now?"

  Brady wasn't fazed, or was too oblivious to feel the anger Lily sent his way.

  "Sure. I grew up in foster care. Never knew my parents. A new family every few years, most of them only in it for the state benefits. The occasional smacking around. It took a long time to be able to talk about it."

  Lily looked at him with new eyes, with compassion.

  "Whoa. God, I'm so sorry."

  He dismissed her sorrow with a wave.

  "How long did it take?" she asked. "When did you start talking about it?"

  "Hmm," Brady said, rubbing his chin. "Actually, just now, I guess."

  "What?" Lily said, surprised. "No other girlfriends or anything?"

  "Nope. It never came up, really."

  Lily wasn't quite sure what to say. She gave him a smile and squeezed his shoulder. It had been a long time since anyone confided in her.

  "I'll listen, if you ever want to talk about anything."

  "Thanks. Same goes for you."

  She caught him staring at her out of the corner of her eye, a look of curiosity on his face. She returned his gaze several times, but he didn't look away.

  "What?" she said, fidgeting uncomfortably behind the wheel.

  "A lot of counselors always said that. I'm here to listen. They were all lying, pretty much."

  "Well, I'm not lying," she said, her tone sharp. "We're friends. What ended up happening? Did you find a good family?"

  "No. I turned eighteen."

  Lily waited, but he offered nothing more. She didn't push. Her admiration for Brady grew. He had a rough childhood, and still made something of himself. She wondered if she'd be selling porn for the next twenty years.

  She pulled up in front of his apartment building. A man sat on the front steps alone, nursing a beer. The building showed no other signs of life.

  "So, what are you up to?" she asked. A smile crossed her face. "Any more crazy videos with people screaming?"

  Brady returned her smile with one of his own, putting hers to shame. Afte
r hearing of his childhood, she thought it amazing that he had such a bright smile.

  She hoped one day to be able to smile like that.

  "You know it," he said. "A few videos and some snacks. How about you?"

  "I'm supposed to go out with some friends. There's this new club Emma wants to check out."

  Brady shook his head. "Wow, and it's not even the weekend."

  "Why let something like that stop you?" Lily said, laughing.

  "Hey, no arguments here. I'm off to a party myself. Ice cream, TV, couch." He opened the door and climbed out. Peering inside the open window, he nodded with appreciation and gave an awkward wave. "Thanks so much for the ride."

  He'd taken three steps toward the building when Lily opened her own door.

  "Whoa," she said, looking over the roof. "Hold up a second."

  He turned in place, his eyebrows raised. Lily almost couldn't believe the words coming out.

  "You want some company?"

  Brady was taken aback, maybe even startled. He recoiled at first, a cute gesture, before finally shrugging.

  "Uh, sure," he said. "But you just said you were going out."

  "Ah, we go out all the time," she said. "Right now, your party sounds a lot better."

  "Cool," he said, smiling. "Let's go get wasted on ice cream."

  She grabbed her bag from the back seat and carried it with her. Brady waited patiently for her to join him. There was something about him that relaxed her. He was already a stable force in her life. She could count on him, every Friday, to show up at her work, like clockwork. Apparently, he'd show up with dinner occasionally.

  She hoped he wasn't getting the wrong idea.

  "The same rules apply," she said. "I won't be doing any stripping in your living room. And you have to keep your clothes on, too."

  "Damn. And I just got that pole installed."

  They slowed their pace as they neared the front steps. Brady looked down at the lone resident outside, still drinking a beer.