Monster of Disguise

by Joe McGee

  “Fifteen for me!” said a third, pushing a wheelbarrow of money right up to the wagon.

  “I’ll have this mirror paid off in no time,” Baron Von Grump whispered to Edgar.

  “Caw?” asked Edgar.

  “Oh yes, very expensive,” said Baron Von Grump. “Terribly expensive. But it’ll be worth every penny once I have them all under my control.” Baron Von Grump snickered. “These villagers don’t even know that they’re paying for their own hypnosis!”

  Baron Von Grump could not hand out tickets fast enough. Even Edgar couldn’t keep up. As Baron Von Grump took the villagers’ money, he handed it up to Edgar, who stashed it all under the baron’s tall top hat. And as Edgar stashed the money in the tall top hat, the baron handed each villager a ticket. It read:

  ADMIT ONE

  FUN HOUSE OF FUN

  - NO REFUNDS -

  The line stretched from one end of the village to the other. Everyone wanted to have as much fun as the mayor had had. Nobody wanted to miss out. Not even Wolfy’s little brothers and sisters.

  “Can we go in?” asked little Fern. “Please?”

  Wolfy scratched his head. He was supposed to use his money to buy marshmallows.

  “Pretty puhleazzeeeee,” said Fern. The other cubs all joined in, howling and pulling at Wolfy’s tail.

  “Woof! Woof!” said Sprocket.

  “I think Sprocket wants to go in too,” Franky said.

  “But if I buy tickets for all of the cubs, how am I supposed to buy the marshmallows for s’mores?” asked Wolfy.

  “I think I can help,” said George. “Since you invited me for s’mores tonight, I ought to bring something. What if I bring marshmallows? And then you can use your money to buy tickets!”

  “That’s a great idea,” Wolfy said.

  “Thank you, George!” said Fern and the rest of the cubs. Fern would have hugged him, but she did not know exactly where he was standing. Being invisible made it very hard for George to be hugged.

  In fact, you should stop reading for a second and hug someone you can see.

  I’ll wait.…

  Done? Hug delivered? Okay, good. Now, where were we?

  Ah, yes… the tickets…

  CHAPTER 5

  WOLFY STEPPED RIGHT UP TO the man in the tall top hat, just like the man instructed. The man was saying, “Step right up! Step right up!” And people were! All of the villagers were stepping right up and handing the man in the tall top hat their money in exchange for a ticket into the Fun House of Fun.

  “You look familiar,” said Wolfy. “Do I know you?”

  “Why, um… NO,” said the man in the tall top hat (who you and I know was really Baron Von Grump in disguise). “Of course you don’t. Why would you? I’ve never been to this village before. I don’t know anything about that crooked Old Windmill, and I certainly don’t live there. I’m just a simple traveler, bringing fun wherever I go. I am not up to any kind of sneaky trick, and I am certainly not wearing a disguise!”

  He grinned a very toothy grin.

  Wolfy shrugged. “Okay. In that case, let me have…” He turned to count everyone. “One, two, three… eleven tickets.”

  “But I only see ten of you,” said the baron.

  “That’s because our friend George is invisible,” said Wolfy.

  “Invisible?” asked the baron. “I don’t believe you.”

  “He’s standing right there,” said Wolfy. He pointed to an empty spot next to Vampyra.

  “Raise your hand, invisible boy,” said Baron Von Grump.

  Edgar crawled out from under the top hat and peered at the spot. He didn’t see anything.

  “Caw!” said Edgar.

  “I didn’t see anyone raise a hand either,” said Baron Von Grump.

  “That’s because he’s invisible!” Franky said.

  “See?” George said. “Nobody ever notices me.”

  “Who said that!?” asked Baron Von Grump.

  “George did,” said Vampyra. “We told you, he’s invisible.”

  Baron Von Grump squinted one eye. He squinted the other. He peered at them very closely. He did not trust monsters, and he certainly did not trust the Junior Monster Scouts.

  “I’m watching you,” he said. “Don’t think you can pull any funny tricks on me. In you go!”

  Wolfy and the cubs were the first to go in.

  “Wow, look at those walls!” said Wolfy. “This is fun!”

  “Check out this warm, fuzzy rug!” Fern said.

  “I like the music!” said another of the cubs.

  “Look at this mirror!” said another cub.

  As soon as Wolfy and the cubs were inside, the door shut behind them.

  When they came out the other side, they were acting very odd.

  “How was it?” asked Vampyra.

  “Yeah, was it super fun?” Franky asked.

  “It must have been SO much fun that they can’t even describe it!” said George.

  Wolfy and the cubs did not respond at all. It was like they were in a trance. They just stared into the clouds, and their eyes were quite strange, like swirling spirals going around and around.

  “Hey, look,” said Vampyra. “There’s Peter. Maybe he can tell us how much fun it is.”

  “Peter, over here!” Franky said.

  But Peter didn’t answer them either. He didn’t even seem to notice them. And when Franky and Vampyra looked at his eyes, they saw the same swirling spiral going around and around and around.

  “I don’t like this,” said Vampyra.

  “Something’s not right,” Franky said.

  “Vampyra? Franky?” said George. “Look!”

  They didn’t have to see where he was pointing with his invisible hand to know what he was talking about.

  Everyone was standing in the center of the village…

  … staring at nothing with their swirling spiral eyes!

  CHAPTER 6

  NOW, IF YOU SAW ALL of your friends and family staring at nothing, with swirling spiral eyes, you would probably suspect that something was not right. Something was not right at all. This was exactly what Vampyra, Franky, and George thought.

  No matter how much they talked to them, no matter how many times they waved their hands in front of their eyes, no matter how many silly faces or goofy noises they made, nobody would even look in their direction. Not the villagers, not Peter, not even Wolfy or the cubs.

  “It’s like we’re invisible,” said Vampyra.

  “Now you know how I feel,” said George.

  “Woof,” said Sprocket. She licked George’s invisible hand.

  But then something even stranger happened.

  The man in the tall top hat stood before the hypnotized crowd of villagers (and Wolfy and the cubs). He placed a small platform on the ground. He stepped up onto the small platform.

  “Now that I have enough of you—”

  “Caw,” said Edgar.

  “Well, most of you—”

  “Caw, caw.”

  “Oh. Really? Well, that’s even better than expected,” said the man in the tall top hat to the crow sitting next to him. He turned back to the motionless villagers. “Now that I have all of you, it’s time for a little test. Cluck like a chicken!”

  The mayor, Peter, the villagers, and Wolfy and the cubs all began to cluck like chickens.

  “Cluck, cluck, cluck,” they all said, wiggling their arms like chickens and strutting around in circles with their heads bobbing back and forth.

  It was a very funny sight to see, and Franky, Vampyra, and George wanted to laugh, but they didn’t. They knew that this top hat–wearing Fun House owner was very suspicious.

  “Well, they certainly seem to be hypnotized,” said the man in the tall top hat.

  “Caw, caw, caw.”

  “Yes, of course, it never hurts to be sure,” said the man in the tall top hat. “Now moo like a cow!”

  As you might have guessed, all of the villagers, and the mayor, and Pete
r, and Wolfy and the cubs began mooing like cows. Again, it was a funny sight, but the Junior Monster Scouts were not laughing. They were very worried.

  “What are they doing?” asked Vampyra.

  “They’re mooing,” said Franky. “Like cows.”

  “I know that,” said Vampyra. “I mean why are they mooing like cows?”

  “I think they’re… hypnotized,” said George.

  “Hypno-what?” Vampyra asked.

  “You know, hypnotized,” said George. “Like in a trance.”

  “But what could have possibly hypnotized them?” Franky asked.

  “Well, let’s retrace our steps,” said Vampyra. “You know, like what you do when something is lost.”

  “Let’s start with Wolfy and the cubs,” said George, “since we know everything they did before becoming hypnotized.”

  “They came to the village with us,” said Vampyra.

  “They bought tickets for the Fun House of Fun,” said Franky.

  “Then they went inside the Fun House of Fun,” said George.

  “And when they came out… they were hypno-sized,” said Vampyra.

  “Hypnotized,” said George.

  “That’s what I said,” Vampyra said.

  “Aha!” said Franky. “Hypno-sized, hypnotized… whatever it is, it must have something to do with the Fun House of Fun,” said Franky.

  “I’ll bet you’re right,” said Vampyra. “They were normal when they went in and then not normal when they came out.”

  “There’s only one way to know,” said George.

  “One of us is going to have to go in and check it out,” said Franky.

  “Not one,” Vampyra said. “All of us.” She put her hand out. “A Junior Monster Scout and friends…”

  Franky put his hand on top of hers.

  “… stick together till the end,” he finished.

  An invisible hand rested atop Franky’s and Vampyra’s hands.

  CHAPTER 7

  WHILE THE MAN IN THE tall top hat and his crow assistant performed their final test to be absolutely certain the villagers were under their complete control, Franky, Vampyra, and George were putting their tickets to use.

  “Time for a little detective work,” said Vampyra.

  Franky opened his Junior Monster Scout handbook and turned to the list of merit badges. “You know,” he said, “I’ll bet we can even get our Mystery Merit Badges if we solve this case.”

  “I think you’re right,” said Vampyra. “This sure sounds like a mystery to me!”

  Franky, Vampyra, and George placed their tickets in the ticket box and climbed up the steps and through the door of the Fun House of Fun. Sprocket waited outside.

  The inside was, as you and I know, very fun. There was fun music playing, fun rugs on the ground, fun paint on the walls, and a very, very fun mirror right in the middle of the room.

  “Haha,” said Franky. “I look super tall. The mirror stretched me out!”

  “Look at me,” said Vampyra. “I look shorter and kind of flat!”

  “Aw, rats,” said George. “I don’t see anything at all.”

  “Did someone say ‘rats’?” said a very large rat, gnawing on a hunk of cheese.

  That was Boris, and he lived in the basement of Castle Dracula with all of the other rats. They were always sticking their cheese-covered noses into everyone’s business. Boris was not alone. There were several other rats with him.

  But it was a good thing that Boris and the rats did stick their cheese-covered noses into this business because just as the Junior Monster Scouts were staring at the mirror, their eyes began to turn swirly and spiral and lose all focus…

  “Hey! Junior Monster Scouts,” said Boris the rat. “We’re talking to you. Over here! Wow… that’s a fun mirror!”

  Vampyra, Franky, and George heard Boris and turned from the mirror just in time.

  “Boris, what are you doing here?” asked Vampyra.

  “Hey, look at their eyes!” Franky said.

  “They’re swirly spirals, just like everyone’s outside!” George said

  Sure enough, Boris and the rats weren’t eating their cheese anymore, and Boris didn’t answer Vampyra’s question. It wasn’t because they were being rude—it was because they were hypnotized!

  Have you ever been hypnotized? No? I want you to do something. On the count of three, I want you to quack like a duck. Do you know how to quack like a duck? I’ll bet you do. Okay, ready? One… two… three!

  Ah, very good. But guess what? I just hypnotized you! I made you quack like a duck. That was exactly what was happening to Boris and the rats, and Wolfy and the cubs, and Peter, the mayor, the villagers… Wow, that is a lot of quacking and mooing and clucking and barking. That is a lot of noise.

  And do you know who doesn’t like noise?

  Baron Von Grump.

  Which is why, at that exact moment, he made everyone stop making animal noises. No more quacking. No more mooing. No more clucking or barking. He made everyone be quiet.

  “Silence!” he said.

  Everyone was absolutely silent.

  He took off his tall top hat and removed the rest of his disguise.

  “Ah, do you hear that, Edgar?” he asked.

  “Caw?” Edgar asked.

  “Exactly,” said Baron Von Grump. “There’s nothing to hear. Nothing! Because finally, the day has come. Finally, the villagers are quiet. No gum chewing, no smiling, no accordions or ‘Hello, how do you do?’ No walking, no talking, no singing or kite flying. Absolute silence.

  “This,” said Baron Von Grump, “is the moment I’ve been waiting for.”

  He closed his eyes and smiled.

  It was an awkward smile. Like maybe a quarter of a smile. He really wasn’t any good at smiling, but hey, he tried.

  “Edgar?”

  “Caw?”

  “Breathe quieter.”

  CHAPTER 8

  INSIDE THE FUN HOUSE OF Fun, the Junior Monster Scouts and George had just discovered something. Something very important. Something that could help them solve this mystery.

  “I think it has something to do with the mirror,” said Franky.

  “When I was looking at the mirror, I began to feel a little sleepy,” said Vampyra.

  “Me too,” said Franky.

  “I didn’t feel a thing,” said George. “This place really isn’t that fun. I couldn’t even see myself in the mirror.”

  “And when Boris and the rats looked in the mirror, they became hypno-sized!” Vampyra said.

  “Hypnotized,” said George.

  “That’s what I said.”

  “That’s it!” said Franky. “When someone sees themself in the mirror, they become hypnotized.”

  “Just like Boris and the rats,” said Vampyra. “Hey, where are they going?”

  Boris and the rats all walked in a quiet single-file line, right through the other door and out of the Fun House of Fun. They weren’t even eating their cheese. That’s how quiet they were being!

  “Come on,” said Vampyra. “Let’s follow them!”

  Franky, Vampyra, and George followed Boris and the rats. They followed them right to the center of the village, where everyone stood in a trance, watching someone sitting atop a hay wagon.

  That someone was enjoying every second of his newly created silence.

  That someone was Baron Von Grump.

  “Oh, what a glorious day,” he said. “Oh, wonderful, magnificent, quiet day!”

  “It’s Baron Von Grump!” said Vampyra.

  “Caw?” asked Edgar, turning in their direction.

  Franky and Vampyra ducked. George did not duck in time.

  But as you might have guessed, Edgar did not see him.

  “It’s nothing,” said Baron Von Grump. “There’s no one there. See?” He pointed in their direction, and sure enough, there was nobody to be seen.

  Edgar shrugged.

  The Junior Monster Scouts breathed a sigh of relief.

>   George had an idea.

  CHAPTER 9

  GEORGE’S IDEA WAS A VERY good idea. He and the Junior Monster Scouts had figured out that the mirror had something to do with everyone being hypnotized. They also knew that only Franky and Vampyra could see their reflections in the mirror, which meant…

  “If I can’t see myself in the mirror, and nobody else can see me, then I’ll bet I won’t get hypnotized!” said George.

  “You’re right!” Franky said.

  “Brilliant!” said Vampyra. “Don’t worry, Wolfy. Don’t worry, cubs. We’re going to unhypno-size you!”

  But Wolfy and the cubs did not respond.

  George did not bother to try to correct her this time. “I thought vampires couldn’t see their reflections in the mirror,” he said.

  Vampyra shrugged. “That’s just another made-up story. Okay, what now?”

  “Follow me,” said George.

  “George?” said Vampyra.

  “Yes?”

  “We can’t.”

  “Oh, right,” he said. “Invisible. You go inside first.”

  Vampyra went first. Then Franky. He told Sprocket to wait outside.

  “Bark twice if anyone comes, okay?”

  Sprocket wagged her tail and sat by the door. She was a very good watchdog.

  George followed them inside the Fun House of Fun and shut the door.

  “Now what?” asked Vampyra. She was very careful to keep her eyes off the mirror.

  “We need something to cover the mirror with,” said George.

  Franky had an idea. He reached outside and snatched Baron Von Grump’s cape from the hook on the wagon.

  “We can use this,” he said. He was also very careful to keep his eyes off the mirror.

  “Good thinking!” said George.

  “Okay, George,” said Vampyra. “Cover that mirror!”

  George stood in front of the mirror. He looked right into it. All he saw was a cape, floating in the air. George stepped closer and covered the mirror with the cape.

  * * *

  Outside, Baron Von Grump sat atop a mound of hay, in the back of a wagon, in the center of the village, in complete and utter silence. He closed his eyes.