Planning on Forever

by Ashley Wilcox

  – COLLIN –

  I did it!

  Walking that stage and receiving my diploma confirms my future. One door closing as the other one opens. The only thing on my mind right now, though, is partying it up at our graduation party. Planning for this party has been in the works since we were little. Matt and I always said that we’d have this crazy graduation party that people would be talking about for years and years to come, and that’s exactly what we’re going to get. My parents spared no expense to make it all we wanted and more. The best restaurant in Syracuse, The Dinosaur Barbeque, is catering the party. We hired a band, set up a bar, and we’ll set off fireworks at the end of the night. We even rented a bouncy house! There’s no way in hell anyone will ever be able to top this party.

  Arriving home from the ceremony, you’d think someone was getting married. There are huge party tents being put up, caterers are setting tables, the inflatable company is setting up the bounce house and the band is doing a sound check. My mother is running around like a mad woman with her ear piece in, making sure everything is running smoothly and on time; this gives Alexa and I the perfect opportunity to disappear up to my room. After seeing her with that sexy little dress on at graduation and those “fuck me” eyes she was giving me, a little “quality time” is calling my name. Squeezing her hand and pulling her through my house like a mad man, I open my door and swing her down on my bed.

  “Holy cow, babe. Did I miss something?” she asks, leaning up on her elbows, giving me that look again, the one I can’t resist that sends all of my blood flowing to one heated area.

  Without speaking, I move towards her at the end of the bed, placing my legs in between hers, and gently spreading them apart. Wasting no time, I place my hands at the hem of her dress, not removing my eyes from hers. I can see her chest rising and falling a little quicker with each move I make. With one swift move, I pull the dress over Alexa’s head and throw it on the ground. Lying down next to her, I prop my head in my hand and lean closer, planting my lips on hers. Our kisses start out sweetly but grow more passionately in each passing second.

  We make out for a little while facing each other; our legs wrapped around one another, my other hand caressing her bare back. Pulling away from my lips, she pushes me down on the bed, moving on top to straddle me. Looking down at me with hungry eyes, she starts unzipping my graduation gown; her eyes intensely following her hands every step of the way. Pushing it off me, she throws it on the bed next to us. Scooting down a little bit, she starts unbuckling my belt and then my pants. Flashing me a quick smile, she proceeds to pull my pants off along with my boxers, leaving no question about my arousal. Moving down a little further, she is now kneeling in between my legs. Surprising the hell out of me, she grips my cock, stroking it in her hands.

  “Oh, baby,” I moan, watching her.

  “And now, your graduation present,” she whispers as she moves her mouth over my length. I’m not sure where she learned this, or if it’s something you just know how to do, but holy hell, it feels amazing.

  “Oh, God,” I groan, throwing my head back into the pillow. This just might be the best damn graduation present...ever! Feeling my body close to climax, I lift her head up off of me. Moving out from underneath her, I motion for her to lay down on the bed. Getting a condom from the night stand, I take a minute to look at the fine work of art spread across my bed. The love of my life, and the girl I will someday call my wife. Holy shit...did I just think that? Well, I think I just confirmed my decision. I’m going to college a taken man. Not yet a married man, I am only eighteen, people, but my heart and soul will be left here with Alexa Arnold.

  Quickly unrolling the condom in place, I climb on top of her and begin to make love like I’ve never done before. Quickening our pace with each thrust, I can feel the warm, tingling sensation moving down my body. Looking into Alexa’s eyes and seeing her breathing begin to accelerate, I know she’s getting close. After only a few more thrusts, we melt into each other, finding our release.

  – ALEXA –

  Oh. My. God.

  Please, someone pinch me and wake me up from this dream. Actually, no, don’t wake me, I’m okay living it. Who is this guy and what did he do with my boyfriend? Whoever he is, I will NOT be returning him.

  Sex with Collin has always been good. Well, since he’s my first and only, I don't really have anything else to compare it to, but I’ve always enjoyed it, so I assume it’s good. But, wow, it just turned up a notch today. The passion and intimacy we shared just moments ago was one like no other. We were totally in sync with each other; every move and thrust we did together. I believe he and I made an unspoken promise; I am his and he is mine and nothing will ever change that.

  Even though I’ve been just as excited for this party as the boys, laying here in Collin's arms, I can’t think of any place I’d rather be. However, since we don’t live in a Lala Land, we decide we better get dressed so people don’t start looking for us. As we start to make our way out his bedroom door, Collin grabs my hand, pulling me so close in front of him, that I can feel his breath against my face, sending goose bumps down my neck and spine.

  “I just want you to know, that whatever happens this coming year and the years to come, you are it. You are the love of my life, and I will never love anyone as much as I love you.”

  Yup, I have died and gone to heaven. This day is officially marked as the best day of my life. Opening my mouth, trying to find the words to say, I notice I am speechless.

  “I...I...love you so much,” I manage to spit out, cupping his face with my hands.

  I don't know how long we stand there, staring into each other’s heartfelt eyes, but it is long enough to realize that not only does this man have my heart, he has my soul, too. No matter what happens from here on out, Collin West has my heart and soul.

  – COLLIN –

  Heading out the back sliding glass door, the yard is already starting to fill up with family and friends. Staring over the balcony, looking down upon everyone and with my girl by my side, I realize, life is good.

  “Hey, lover boy, get your fine ass down here so I can kick your ass in that bounce house!” Travis looks like he has already handed his keys over to the bartender.

  My parents made a pact with my friends and me, that as long as we hand our keys over to the bartender, we can all drink and have a good time. I don't think it is any secret that my family is well known in our town; they own a small telecommunication business in the Syracuse area. Therefore, as long as everything stays under control, no one will dare rat them out for underage drinking.

  Heading down the stairs, I throw my keys to the bartender, grab a bottle of beer, take a long guzzle, and make my way to the bounce house.

  “You're on, bro!”

  Before we know it, we have five large football players all wrestling around in the giant inflatable, throwing each other across the floor, body slamming, and making our own WWE special. We have to get out a few times to flip the castle back up and anchor it since we keep knocking it over. Thank god for insurance, because I can’t promise it’ll be returned fully intact.

  When we are so exhausted that we can no longer stand, we decide to get out, and grab some beer and food. If there’s one thing my friends and I know how to do well, it’s eating. The caterers restock everything when they see us getting out of the bounce house, knowing they are about to feed an army. Piling our plates high with pulled pork, brisket, coleslaw, salt potatoes, and corn bread, we all sit together, drinking our cold ones, and reminiscing over the last four years of high school. Some of us go back farther than that and into our pop warner years. These guys have been my youth, and my young adult life; we've had each other’s back the whole way through. I’ve never felt like an only child growing up; they were my brothers and always will be.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Alexa talking with my family. She is laughing and carrying on like she is one of them. She sure fits in well. I’ve decided that I’m going to propose
to her at the end of my sophomore year of college. It gives us both time to live the college experience. After her first year, we will get an apartment together located somewhere between both of our schools. After that, well, we will live our happily ever after.

  Making eye contact with each other, I curl my finger, motioning her to come over to me, and then pat my lap to sit down. Once she is comfortably seated on my lap, I move her hair aside and kiss her neck, breathing in her intoxicating scent, the scent I’ll never forget; a mixture of fresh summer air and vanilla.

  “I see you guys worked up an appetite in that thing,” she jokes, seeing all the food we just consumed and all the beers we already shot back.

  “You better get your oils ready, princess, ‘cause your man is going to need a good rub down tomorrow with the way I just schooled him in that thing,” Travis slurs, making it obvious he’s already drank a little too much.

  “I think I can help him with that,” Alexa replies, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and pecking my lips. “Hey, Trav, did Collin tell you your friend, Nicole, works at the ice cream stand with me? Small world, huh?”

  Feeling my body freeze underneath her, I pray that Travis puts two and two together.

  “Nicole? Who the hell is she?” he replies with a look of confusion.

  “Ya know, tall, really dark hair, blue eyes...” she continues.

  “Ahh...Nicole...yes, I remember her, but I think your man knows her better than I do.”

  WHAT THE FUCK! As soon as he says it, you can see the look of regret in his eyes. For once, could he just think before he spoke? JESUS, TRAV! Feeling her body tense, I know she understands what he just said. Her eyes are already filling with tears and she just stares at me, frozen. Snapping out of it, she leaps up off of me and b-lines it for the house.

  – ALEXA –

  I knew it! I knew there was something strange about that situation. I knew I should have pursued it, but I trusted him–I trusted her. Why I trusted her after knowing her for only a couple of hours, I don't know, but I did. God, I’m so blind! How could’ve I been so stupid? Of course they had a party that night, of course he was the guy she hung out with. This was just too much of a coincidence to not be true, and come on, they were at Travis's house. You just don't sit around and shoot the shit at Travis’s house.

  Ugh, I could strangle him right now; I could strangle myself for being such a love struck idiot. Now what do I do? I’m locked in the guest bathroom, and have no car to get home since I drove here with Collin and his family. I am so screwed! There is no way I can face him right now nor do I want to hear his explanation. Spare me the details; I know something happened between them and that's all I need to know.

  Pulling my cell phone out of my dress pocket, I dial Amanda's number. She is here somewhere, and I know she drove. She has to work in the morning so she wasn't planning on drinking–surprisingly.

  “Hello? Where are you? I heard Collin yelling at Travis and then he stormed off. I kind of figured it had something to do with you,” she asks in almost one breath.

  “Please take me home,” was all I could spit out between sobs.

  “Of course, where are you?”

  Trying to compose myself, I finally blurt out, “In the guest bathroom off of the main entrance...please hurry. I don't want to see him.”

  Within seconds, I hear her yelling in a tone that scares me. I can only assume she is yelling at Collin. “Don't you dare go near her you son of a bitch! I don't know what you did, but I do know that whatever it is, you destroyed her! She doesn't want to see you and if you ever loved her in just the tiniest bit, you’ll stay away from her and let her leave!”

  After a few more seconds, I hear a knock on the door.

  “Lex, it's me, Amanda. Open the door, it's okay to come out. He's gone,” she softy whispers through the door.

  Taking a deep breath, I wipe under my eyes, knowing I probably look like someone out of The Rocky Horror Picture Show with my mascara everywhere. I slowly stand up and open the door. She immediately grabs my hand and says, “Let’s go. Let’s get the hell out of here.”

  – COLLIN –

  She won't even talk to me. I have to explain. Who knows what she is thinking. She needs to know that I didn't have sex with Nicole. I can’t lose Alexa; I refuse to lose her. Amanda won't let me near her, but fuck that! She’s my girlfriend, and I’m going to stand outside the front door until she comes out. I will talk to her, and she will hear me out.

  When the front door opens, I jump in front of it, blocking the exit, and stand right in front of her. She looks awful; still beautiful, but destroyed. She has her arms crossed over her chest, makeup smeared across her face, and she is looking down at the ground to avoid making eye contact. I hold her arms, squaring her to me. “Please, baby, hear me out...” I begin, but she quickly cuts me off.

  “Get away from me!”

  “Please, I...I didn't–”

  “There is nothing to say,” she intercepts again, stepping around me to walk away. She doesn’t even look back. She just walks to Amanda's car, and doesn’t look back.

  I watch her get in the car. I watch them pull out of the driveway, and I watch them drive away. And now I’m just standing here–I can’t move. I’m frozen, staring down the street. Maybe if I stand here long enough, she’ll come back. She has to come back. This can’t be it. She is the one. Just a couple of hours ago, I decided I was going to marry this girl. I planned our lives together. We’re supposed to be forever. What do I do? What do I do? Please, God, someone tell me what I am supposed to do!

  “Hey, buddy...” Matt slowly walks up next to me. “She left...she left, and didn't look back...she's gone, man.” Saying it out loud just makes it feel even worse. “What am I supposed to do? She was it for me, bro.” My heart aches. I feel like a chunk of my heart was ripped from my chest, and driven away with the love of my life.

  “I think you need to give it some time...give her time to calm down, and then explain it all to her. Right now she is in shock.”

  Give her time? Give her time to hate me even more...no way! I pull out my phone and dial her number...voicemail. I dial again ...voicemail. Awesome, she turned her phone off. First part of the grieving process is being sad, done. Second part, being mad, and right now, that is exactly what I am. Heading towards the bartender, I grab an ice bucket and fill it with six beers. Not talking to anyone, I turn and head towards the water to walk down by the dock. I sit at the end and stare out over the water. I couldn’t care less that there is a party going on right now; I just want to sit by myself and figure out where to go from here. This day is not ending how I envisioned. We were supposed to have a killer party with friends, family, and my girl. I was going to sit out here on this very dock, holding her, and watch the fireworks.

  “Dude...are you okay...I totally didn’t mean to start shit...” Travis walks towards me on the dock.

  “You didn't want to start shit…” Yup, I am pissed. “What did you think was going to happen when you said that?” I ask standing up and looking him in the eyes. “Did you think she was just going to just shake it off...SHE LEFT ME, ASSHOLE!” I move in closer to him, our faces only inches apart. I shove him. “She fucking left me because you couldn't keep your fucking mouth shut!” I shove him back again.

  “I don't know what to say dude, I'm sorry...”

  And then I snap, punching him square in the face. He falls backwards, almost falling off the dock. “Are you kidding me man!” he yells, holding his face where I hit him.

  “Get the fuck off my property, you piece of shit. You're dead to me!” I yell, then walk back down to my spot on the dock. Who the hell does he think he is? You fuck up my relationship and then all you can say is “I'm sorry.” Fuck you!

  – ALEXA –

  Amanda and I drive back to my house in silence. I stare out the window the whole way, not saying a word. I can't even tell you what I’m thinking. I’m numb and have been since finding out about Collin and Nicole. Even t
hough Amanda is skeptical, I tell her she doesn’t have to stay; I’d rather be by myself right now. I turn off my phone, knowing that it’s going to start ringing off the hook soon from not only Collin, but by anyone that gets wind of what is going on. That's the only downfall about being popular; your life is always being broadcast and everyone always wants the inside scoop.

  Walking into my bathroom, I strip off my tainted dress, and take a long, warm shower. After drying off, I put on my favorite flannel pajamas and then crawl into bed. Curling up to my pillows, I allow myself to cry.

  The next morning, I wake up in the same position I fell asleep in and I feel...good. I feel awake and I feel, fine. Am I in denial? Well, whatever it is, I'll take it. Last night I felt like my whole world had ended, like someone pulled my heart from my chest and stomped all over it. I don't know what is going on this morning, but I will take it.

  Dressing in my favorite jean skirt, and halter top, I pull my hair up in a messy bun, put on a little makeup, and decide I’m going to go shopping. When life throws you lemons…you go shopping! Walking out my bedroom door and down the hall, I come to a screeching halt. In front of me is Collin, sitting in my living room, talking to my parents.

  “What are you doing here?” I yell.

  He looks like crap. His eyes are blood shot, and he looks like he hasn't slept in days. His hair looks like it has been through a tornado, and his hand is wrapped in a bandage. Good! Not that I am the type of person who wish unhappiness on another, but when you find out that your boyfriend of two years cheated on you, it kind of makes you smile when you see him looking like shit.

  “Honey, Collin told us what happened, and I think you guys need to sit down and talk,” my mom softly tells me.