Planning on Forever

by Ashley Wilcox

  Deciding that I do have to do this, I ask, “How can you even say that? I came to the club tonight, Nolan. I saw you walking out the back door all wrapped up with some girl.”

  “Oh Christ, doll, that was my best friend, Layla,” he sighs. “We've been friends since we were kids. She's visiting for the weekend and stopped in to surprise me.”

  Why were they in his apartment? Why were they so wrapped up with each other? I don't hang all over my guy friends. “If she surprised you at the club, why were you leaving through your apartment door together? And I’m sorry, but I’m not all over my guy friends like that.”

  Please have a good explanation for this. I can’t handle this anymore; I’m not good with confrontation, and I really don’t want this to be the end of us.

  “Yes, she surprised me in the club, and we could barely talk over the music so we cut through the basement to get to my car in the back. She is like a sister to me, so, I probably gave her a hug and kiss. I haven't seen her in almost two years...Oh god, doll. I’m so sorry. Where are you?”

  I can barely talk I’m so upset. This is just a huge misunderstanding. “Collin brought me to the coffee shop,” I tell him, crying hysterically.

  “You're with Collin?” he asks, sounding confused.

  “He was at the bar down the street and saw me a mess, so he brought me here.”

  “Don't move, I'll be there in two minutes,” Nolan says, sounding like he is running. I hang up the phone and sigh in relief. However, I can’t help but notice the look of disappointment on Collin’s face.

  “It was just a misunderstanding,” I try to explain.

  “This is bullshit, Alexa! When you heard that I cheated on you, you wouldn't even give me the time of day to explain, and now you see him with someone else, and not only do you hear his bullshit excuse, but you believe him?” He is yelling at me; I’ve never seen him this mad before.

  “That was different Collin, and you did cheat on me.”

  “You wouldn't even let me explain, you only were going by what you heard…you saw him.”

  “This is different, he’s telling the truth… I just know it.”

  “How is it different? Please tell me how this is different, because I’d love to know?”

  “Because I’m in love with him!”

  Dropping his chin to his chest, he sighs, and asks in a whisper, “Are you telling me that you weren't in love with me?”

  “Collin, I do love you, I always will, but the way I feel about Nolan is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s just different...I'm sorry.”

  “Doll!” Nolan yells, running around the corner. My heart skips a beat just seeing him. Jumping out of my chair, I run towards him, leaping into his arms.

  “Oh baby doll, I’m so sorry,” he says, lifting me up off the ground in the tightest hug. He begins to kiss me like we’ve been separated for weeks. Running my fingers through his hair, I can’t control the tears again. This time though, they’re happy tears; tears full of love and passion. Setting me down, he wipes the tears from my face, smiling at me with the most heartfelt smile I have ever seen.

  “You, are my love, Alexa. You, are the love of my life. There is no one else–there will never be anyone else,” he tells me, cupping my face with his hands.

  Slithering my fingers from his hair to his cheeks, we both stand there just holding each other’s faces, staring into one another’s eyes and absorbing our love for each other, taking in the moment. Any questions that we’ve had up to this point as to how we feel about each other is now answered. We are deeply, madly in love, and nothing will ever change that.

  “I love you. I’m so in love with you, Nolan.” I’m elated that I can finally say these words to him.

  I do love him.

  I’ve loved him all along.

  – COLLIN –

  Standing here, watching Alexa with Nolan, I can see it; I can see the pure and honest love that they share. Yeah, it hurts knowing that I’ve never seen those beautiful green eyes look at me the way they look at him, but it’s okay. I’m okay with it. All I’ve ever wanted is for Alexa to be happy. Of course, I’ve always hoped it would be me making her happy for years to come, but things change, people change. We meet new people who affect us like we never thought someone else could.

  I have a new someone. Someone who makes my heart skip a beat when she enters a room; someone who makes me enjoy the simple things in life. Someone who takes my breath away, and has filled the hole in my heart that Alexa once occupied.

  Summer is my somebody. She fills my heart with love again. She is who makes me happy. She’s who I now want to make happy for years to come.

  Feeling like I’m floating after coming to my realization, I walk over to Alexa and Nolan. “Ahem.” I interrupt, pretending to clear my throat.

  They both look at me with a look of apology, like they have completely forgotten I’m standing here.

  “Thank you for being here for her, I know how important you are to her, and I’m glad she had you tonight,” Nolan says, reaching to shake my hand.

  “She’s a very special girl, take care of her,” I respond, returning his shake. He nods in agreement. I have no doubt he knows how special she is.

  “I will.”

  I turn my head to Alexa.

  “Goodbye, Alexa.”

  There is more meaning behind this goodbye, than the official meaning of departure the word holds.

  “Goodbye, Collin.”

  Not wasting another minute, I run towards my car, needing to get back to the bar before it closes. Although it has been a night full of crazy, it’s been a night full of what I needed. Tonight gave me the closure I’ve been searching for with Alexa, and it made me realize just how much I actually care for Summer.

  Pulling into the parking lot, I barely get the car in park before bolting for the entrance. Matt quickly stands, seeing me running towards him. “Hey, bro,” is all I say as I fly by him. Pushing through the crowd, my focus is on one person, Summer. Like before, I don’t bother waiting at the end of the bar, I rush right to her, pulling her away from the customer she is currently taking care of. Startled by my return, and my apparent sense of urgency, she looks at me in panic.

  “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

  “Will you be my girlfriend?” I ask.

  No one ever said that I’m a smooth talker. I’m corny, and possibly in love. Asking her to be my girlfriend was the first thing that came to mind.

  After exhaling an obvious sigh of relief, she throws her head back and lets out the cutest, loudest laugh that I’ve ever heard.

  “I check yes,” she answers, with a huge smile spread across her face.

  Elated with her answer, I pick her up and swing her around, kissing her like I’ve been wanting to do for so long. We laugh at the full bar of drunk people cheering and shouting at our new relationship status.

  After setting her back down, I tap her butt, and tell her to get back to work.

  – SUMMER –

  I didn't really know what to expect when Collin told me he had to leave to help his ex-girlfriend. Her name has only come up in discussion a hand full of times. I know they had a rough breakup and that he still cares about her.

  So, of course, when he tells me that she’s a mess outside my bar, and needs him, my stomach drops not knowing what it all meant, and what was going to happen from here on out. Was she coming to confess her love to him? Would he get back together with her? The wheels in my head were turning faster than I could keep up.

  After the wonderful week we shared together, I cross my fingers that nothing is going to happen between them. He is going to help her get home safely, and that will be the end of it. My main rule of thumb with people is always trust unless given a reason not to. My dad raised me to always give people the benefit of the doubt so that’s what I am going to do.

  The night we met was my best friend’s bachelorette party. Being the plain jane that I am, they insisted on doing my hair and makeu
p, to get me all sexified, as they put it. I had nothing to do with the way I ended up looking. With that said, I was nervous when I saw Collin a couple of nights later in the bar, assuming he would like the girl he saw the night of the bachelorette party, but not the one tending bar.

  I was thrilled when Troy told me that Collin had asked for my number. Although it was weird when Collin all of a sudden disappeared the first night, something about him intrigued me, so I gave my number to Troy, not having anything to lose.

  I was shocked when I saw Collin later that night. He was sitting at the end of the bar, and I could see him checking me out, out of the corner of my eye. He had a pleased look on his face, making me smile knowing that he liked what he saw, the normal Summer. Purposely taking a few orders before making my way down to him–I didn’t want it to seem too obvious that I was excited to see him, I nonchalantly took his order, and made sure I slipped him my number on a napkin. It seemed kind of whorish doing it, I never give anyone that comes into the bar my number, but Collin seemed different. He seemed like someone I could trust.

  When Collin described to me what Alexa was like, I had assured myself that he must only see me as a friend–one of the guys. He described Alexa as being the stereotypical cheerleader– blonde hair, light eyes, beautiful, and perfect. Everything that I am not; except for the blonde hair, of course.

  Let’s just say when I see Collin rush behind the bar again after being with Alexa, I just about throw up in nervousness. He has this look of urgency on his face and I have no clue what direction it is going. So when he asks me to be his girlfriend, (how cute is that, by the way?) I almost did back flips across the bar. I don’t need to know what happened or where Alexa is, I am just beyond happy that he has come back to me, and that he cares about me the same way I care about him.

  Although we’ve kept our relationship as friends up until now, I’ve always had feelings for him. He is unlike any crush I’ve ever had. He makes my heart feel things that I’ve never felt before. He is someone very special to me and I’m over the moon, thrilled that the feeling is mutual.

  – ALEXA –

  Nolan and I stand there at the coffee shop for what feels like hours just holding each other and professing our love for one another. He tells me more about Layla, and how all he did tonight was tell her how amazing I am and how much he is falling in love with me. Nothing like making me feel more awful than I already do; I immediately thought the worst of the situation before even discussing it with him. How can I not, though? Collin’s cheating on me is still fresh in my head, so when I see Nolan with another woman, my mind is going to go down the cheating route. Being the wonderful man Nolan is, he completely understands, and doesn’t hold it against me. He just feels bad that he hurt me, even though it wasn’t intentional, and completely my own fault.

  Not convinced that I have sobered out, Nolan demands that I drink another bottled water, and eat a bagel so I don’t get sick. I really don’t know how I could possibly be still drunk after the dramatic night we had, but having had enough drama for one night, I agree, and scarf down everything he has placed in front of me.

  “Let’s get you home, doll,” he says, pulling me to his side and kissing my temple.

  “My parents aren’t expecting me to come home tonight,” I tell him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

  “Really?” he says in his low, sexy voice.

  When we finally get to his apartment, I’m in desperate need of a shower. I reek of alcohol, smoke, and a god-awful night. Before entering the bathroom, Nolan hands me a towel, and one of his t-shirts to wear to bed. Standing under the warm shower I melt, letting the events of the evening wash off my skin. The only good that came out of tonight, is that Nolan and I finally admitted our love for one another, and confirmed our relationship status, forever and always.

  After standing there for what feels like minutes, I hear the shower curtain slide open, and an amazingly hot, naked body enter behind me.

  “Care if I join you?” Nolan asks, coming up behind me, and kissing the fold of my neck.

  “Not at all,” I answer, loving the way his warm breath and mouth feel on my skin.

  Feeling a chill run through my body, I notice that the heat that was once radiating from his body to mine, has left. Wondering what he is doing behind me, I turn around to investigate. The fire within me ignites seeing the perfection of his body. Seeing the water slide down each rippled and defined muscle on his body, just may be the sexiest thing I have ever seen. He’s slightly bent over, squeezing body wash into a loofa, allowing me to exam his naked body thoroughly from head to toe. For the first time, I notice the tattoo on his back. It’s two hands pressed together with rosary beads draped around them. Stunning. He obviously has lost someone special. Without thinking, I run my fingers gently over it, feeling the pain he once endured. I can feel his body tense underneath me, knowing that I see it.

  “You don't have to tell me if you don't want to,” I say, sliding my arms around his waist to hold him.

  “My parents died in a plane crash ten years ago,” he begins in a low voice.

  “I am so sorry,” I respond, resting my cheek against his back.

  “They were on one of the suicide planes that ran into the twin towers on nine-eleven.” Closing my eyes, I try to fight back the tears that are instantly forming. Knowing that he was a part of that awful day breaks my heart into a million pieces. I was only nine years old when it happened, however, I remember the images that plastered the television that day vividly. I can remember hearing about the phone calls people were making on the plane, calling their loved ones to say goodbye before their plane crashed. I can’t help but wonder if he and his sister were among those family members that received a phone call that day.

  Picturing him as a young boy, saying goodbye to his parents, and then seeing it happen over and over again on the television, breaks down the flood gate allowing the tears to flow freely down my face. There’s no questioning my emotional state, I’m a mess.

  “Oh doll, please don't cry. It was a long time ago. I’m okay now, really it’s fine,” Nolan says, turning around to comfort me. How awful am I? He’s the one that went through this horrific thing, and here he is comforting me.

  Feeling like the most selfish person in the world, I wipe the tears from my face and force a smile. If he’s okay with it, then I’m going to have to find a way to be, too.

  “Come here, let’s get cleaned up before we turn into prunes.” He rubs the loofa on me.

  Closing my eyes, I relax, and enjoy the feeling of the course sponge slowly sliding over each body part; noticing him pause in the more sensitive areas. I don’t need to open my eyes to see the look of concentration that I know he’s wearing, focusing intently on his hand slithering over me, and watching my body react under his touch. My nipples are erect, my face flush, my mouth cracked, and my breathing accelerating with each movement. My body loves, and craves Nolan. There’s no denying it.

  Thinking about my desire for him doesn’t help the situation anymore, either. I can feel my breathing getting heavier and the pulse in between my legs growing stronger. Somehow he picks up on my growing desire, and drops the loofa and replaces the sponge with his mouth; sliding his tongue across every sensitive area. “Oh god” I whisper, trying to adjust to the change of sensitivity his mouth provides. He slides his tongue down my chest, down my stomach, stopping above my heated area. Kneeling onto the ground, he lifts my leg and rests my foot on the side of the tub. Spreading my folds with his two fingers, he flicks his tongue against my clit, sending a tidal wave of pleasure throughout my body. Keeping my eyes shut, I tangle my fingers in his hair, massaging his scalp as he massages my nub with his tongue.

  With one more swirl and flick of his tongue, I feel my body clench, then spasm, finding my release. After kissing my sensitive, swollen nub, he slowly moves his body up against mine, trailing kisses along the way. Once face to face, he kisses me gently on the lips, then picks me up so that my legs naturall
y wrap around his waist.

  Feeling his erection flirting with my folds, I beg to have him inside of me. “Please Nolan. I’m ready. I need you.”

  Looking deep into my eyes he asks, “Really? Because I can wait.”

  Shaking my head no, I reply, “No… No more waiting.”

  After kissing me long and hard, he pushes his length in, filling me completely.

  I let out a loud moan, noticing the difference between always using a condom and not. The added friction is unbelievable.

  “Please, Nolan, harder,” I plead, wanting to feel every inch of this extra sensitivity.

  Granting my wish, he pushes harder and harder with every thrust. The more noise I make, the harder and faster he goes.

  “Oh Christ, doll, I have to pull out.”

  “No, come inside me. I’m on the pill.” There’s no way I’m letting him pull out now.

  Feeling like he won the lottery, he pushes in harder and faster. My body surges with pleasure, feeling his desire for me spread like wild fire throughout my body. It doesn’t take long before we find both of our bodies clenching, and climaxing together.

  “I love you so much, doll,” he proclaims, after catching his breath.

  “I love you, so, so much.” So much it hurts.

  – COLLIN –

  I talk Summer into taking two days off this week so we can go fishing up on the St. Lawrence. My parents used to take me on camping trips up there and the fishing is great. Summer works her butt off and is under so much stress all the time managing her and her father's bills, that she deserves a little break.

  Wanting everything to be perfect, I rent a small cabin in one of the state parks up there. I find all of our camping supplies that we’ll need in the garage, and head to the grocery store to stock up on food and drinks. Deciding to take her jeep so that we’ll have more room, I pack everything in, leaving no inch spared. Once we are all packed up, my mom comes out to see us off.