Abandon

by Elana Johnson

  “I think the right side is the one that feels like home,” she said. “Like you’d be welcomed back no matter what you’ve done, no matter when you show up.”

  I scrubbed my hands through my hair. “Should I let Director Hightower recruit me?”

  “I don’t know, Zenn. You said you couldn’t go undercover again.” She sighed. “Besides, what will you do? Live it up in Rise One, eating stacks of toast and waiting for the end?”

  I pressed my palms to the tabletop. “It’s better than waiting for the end in a cave, eating rations from a pouch.”

  “Is it?” She stood up and paced over to the window. I watched her unbraid her hair and cross her arms. Tension knotted her muscles, and I wanted nothing more than to erase it.

  I joined her at the window. “I don’t know what to do,” I whispered.

  She turned toward me, her mouth set into an angry line. “That’s not what you told me when you recruited me.”

  “Remind me what I said.”

  “You said we could win. You said that a functioning government wasn’t necessarily better than living freely. That there was a better way to live than being brainwashed. You said I could choose. Everyone could choose. You said—” Her voice cracked.

  I stood there, not sure what to do.

  “Saffediene, don’t cry,” I finally said. I reached for her and drew her close. She buried her face in my chest and sobbed.

  I did the same thing I’d done when Vi had had her mini-breakdowns. I simply held her and stroked her hair. Words weren’t needed. Only the physical presence of someone who cared.

  Saffediene finally composed herself, wrapping her arms around me and holding on tight. Just as I started thinking about kissing her again, a crackling sound emanated behind me. Saffediene and I turned to find the table wavering with light.

  Static confused the words coming over the transmission. The entire surface blazed with an image of a man. A fire burned behind him on the right, and smoke obscured everything on the left.

  I tapped the table to open the communication portal. “Repeat, please.”

  The man in the destroyed city threw a panicked look over his shoulder. He leaned closer and his mouth moved. All that came through the feed was, “. . . demolished . . . Baybridge is in . . . evacuate to . . . Darke.”

  “Baybridge,” Saffediene whispered.

  “One of our strongest cities,” I said. “Starr was there.” Had I lost another friend?

  “I’m checking Castledale,” she said, pressing her fingers to the table. Another of our major cities, with an ultra-sympathetic Director. Had General Darke destroyed it too?

  The feed switched from the smoky, chaotic city of Baybridge to the absolute stillness of Castledale. Not a soul moved in the street. No one flew in the skies; the train sat dormant. The buildings were various shades of blue and gray that didn’t seem natural.

  “Weird,” Saffediene said. “It’s midafternoon. Where is everyone?”

  “Can you rotate the feed? The buildings don’t look right.”

  She flipped the image, and we both sucked in a breath.

  The shadows on the buildings spelled “RESIST AND DIE.”

  Jag

  35. I didn’t leave Vi’s side until she woke up. Even then, she only said three words, “Did we win?” before falling back into unconsciousness.

  “Win” was such a relative term. She’d taken out an entire army, but not before they’d hauled Gunn into Rise One. We’d gotten Trek out of Rise Twelve, but our tech team didn’t even make it to the Technology Rise. I’d sent Pace on that route and hadn’t heard from him since.

  I didn’t know for sure that Indy was gone, but she hadn’t escaped with us. Over half my people hadn’t made it out of Freedom.

  My head hurt. Just thinking that Freedom had claimed another one of my brothers drove me to fury. My throat narrowed, and those cracking tears filled my eyes again.

  “Jag,” Starr said from the doorway. She’d flown in from Baybridge last night. She put one hand on my shoulder. “How’s she holding up?”

  I didn’t know, so I shrugged. Starr dropped her hand. “I can feel her mind. She’s a fighter. She’ll be awake before you know it.”

  I turned and looked at Starr. “Thank you,” I said. “That means—” I cleared my throat. “Thanks.”

  Starr waved away my gratitude. “They need you out there. Incoming transmission from Grande. It’s Zenn and Saffediene.”

  “Will you get Laurel?” I stroked two fingers over Vi’s cheek, relieved I wouldn’t have to tell her that Zenn was dead. I never wanted to be the one to tell her that, even if I didn’t like the thought of them together. “I don’t want her to wake up alone.”

  “Sure.” Starr left, and I felt that familiar itch under my skin. I wasn’t doing enough. I needed to find a hoverboard and visit every Director within three hundred miles.

  “I have to go talk to Zenn,” I whispered to Vi. “Your mom is going to sit with you. I love you.” I pressed a kiss to her forehead as Laurel entered the room.

  “Thanks.” I stood up. “Where’s Thane?”

  She put her hand on my shoulder, and a strange understanding passed between us. “They’re all waiting on you.”

  * * *

  The bunker where we’d crashed had twisty-turny halls that radiated from one large, circular room. We’d converted the smaller rooms into a dining hall, a kitchen, food storage, and sleeping quarters. Any tech we had here we’d taken from our safe house in Grande.

  After Vi had incapacitated the Officer-clones, we’d taken as many tasers as we could carry. We had three food-generating cubes, a handful of scramblers, a half dozen teleporter rings, and enough tech to broadcast a transmission over a specific frequency.

  Gunner had given his father’s journal to Zenn, and then Zenn had been tased and taken. I’d had to make another hard decision and evacuate the safe house before he’d returned. I hated that Resistance information could’ve fallen into Hightower’s hands, but I couldn’t do anything about it. And now Zenn had returned.

  I entered the room to whispered conversations and the sight of Zenn and Saffediene broadcasting onto the wall. Thane stood at the front of the group, talking about Vi and her expected recovery. Zenn visibly relaxed, and some of the tension seeped from his shoulders. Next to Thane, Trek manned the gadgets to keep the transmission open. My chest tightened. Pace should be doing that. Pace was my tech—

  “Jag,” Zenn said. He seemed beyond relieved to see me alive. Was I thrilled to see him alive? I’ll admit that I was.

  “Hey, bro,” I said. “You look rested.”

  He gave a mirthless laugh. “Director Hightower detained me for a little speech.”

  “Oh yeah? Did he have anything good to say?”

  Zenn’s eyes flickered to Thane and back to me. “He said Thane’s a liar.”

  The room erupted in laughter, and I allowed myself a chuckle. “Yeah, well, who isn’t?”

  Zenn cracked a rare smile. “Saffediene and I intercepted a transmission from Baybridge. The city’s been destroyed. Sounded like they were evacuating, but we didn’t catch where.” He swallowed and exchanged a glance with Saffediene. I watched his body language, the way he shifted toward her, how she put her hand on his forearm.

  Zenn had himself a new girlfriend—and his feelings seemed genuine. Nice.

  “Have you heard from Starr?” Zenn asked.

  “She’s here,” I said. “Everything in Baybridge was fine when she left. Our people got out.” I saw her hurrying out of the room, probably to check with her contacts about what had gone down in Baybridge.

  “We checked Castledale,” Saffediene said. “We found a message there.”

  “Well?” I pushed.

  “Resist and die,” Zenn said.

  “Was the city dormant?” Thane asked from the front of the room. “The people sequestered?”

  “Yes,” Saffediene said.

  “Let me guess,” Thane said. “The message was in
a funky location or as a puzzle. Am I right?”

  “As these weird painted ‘shadows’ on the buildings. We only found the message after we rotated the image,” Zenn confirmed.

  “Okay, so what?” I asked. “We’ve known for years that Darke wasn’t going to just roll over. Why does this matter now?”

  “Did you say Baybridge was burning?” Thane asked. “Or it was already burnt?”

  “Burning,” Saffediene said. “Lots of smoke in the projection, and a fire in the building behind the guy.”

  “What guy?” I asked. The Insiders in Baybridge had been evacuated with everyone else.

  “Probably not an Insider,” Thane said. “Probably just someone trying to get a feed out, searching for help.”

  “Where are you guys?” Zenn asked. “Can we fly in?”

  “Arrow Falls,” Thane said. “We should be able to get you in tonight.”

  Zenn and Saffediene nodded, but I wanted to go back to the burning versus burnt question. “Why does it matter if the city was burning or already burnt?”

  Thane angled his body so he was looking at me and at the p-screen. “It lets us know Darke’s timeline. He’s not in Castledale right now; he left the message there and flew to Baybridge, which was burning. So he must have just launched the attack there.”

  “So we can launch an attack on him when he returns to Castledale,” I said, seeing where Thane was going with his reasoning.

  “Exactly. From Baybridge to Castledale, you’re talking a two-day flight. If the feed Zenn saw was in real time, then we’ve got a short window to prepare a second wave.”

  I nodded, proud of myself for having a conversation with Thane without wanting to tase him. “Let’s pack up,” I said. “We’re heading to Castledale. Zenn, can you guys meet us there?”

  “By morning,” he said.

  “Can you check Freedom first?” Raine’s childlike voice piped up. “See if there’s any word on Gunner?”

  Trek put his arm around Raine. “See if you can cache Ivory Bills. She’ll be in charge of communication now that I’m gone.”

  Zenn nodded, his jaw set. “I’ll find out, Raine. I promise.”

  I’d heard Zenn say those words before, but this time was different. This time I believed him.

  Zenn

  36. Ivory Bills met Saffediene and me on the north side of Freedom, near where I’d met Trek a week earlier. She stood just beyond the wall, her eyes narrowed in our direction. I’d activated my cache, but I wasn’t sure I had a frequency she could hear. Pace had reset them all before the invasion.

  I heard whispers of thought only from Saffediene, but Ivory had obviously received something. She strode forward, her reddish-brown hair barely brushing her chin. Her slate-gray eyes scanned me, then Saffediene, stalling on our joined hands for a moment longer than necessary. “Hey,” she said, her voice wavering as it passed through the barrier.

  I squeezed Saffediene’s hand to signal that I thought Ivory would deal better with her than with me.

  “Hey,” Saffediene said. “News?”

  Though I didn’t expect anything different from Saffediene, I almost smiled at her all-business attitude. I tamed the urge when Ivory folded her arms and remained silent.

  The loudest sound became the sighing of the breeze as it mixed with the crackle of the techtric barrier.

  She squinted at us again, as if that might allow her access inside our heads. My skin crawled; I felt exposed, like that’s exactly what she was doing.

  “Your caches have been altered,” she finally said.

  “Yes,” Saffediene immediately responded. “Trek Whiting said you were his second and would be able to fill us in on any developments inside the city.” She took a deep breath as Ivory visibly relaxed.

  “Trek sent you?” she asked. “You’re part of the Resistance?”

  “Yes,” Saffediene said. “We’re most concerned about a talented Citizen, Gunner Jameson, and our tech developer, Pace Barque.”

  I cleared my throat. “And the second-in-command, Indiarina Blightingdale.”

  If any of those names meant anything to Ivory, she didn’t show it. Talk about one cool cat. With every passing second, my chest felt tighter and tighter. Maybe she was sending an e-comm to the Enforcement Officers with our location.

  Ivory blinked, then focused on us again. She’d been checking something on her vision-screen. “Pace Barque and Gunner Jameson were logged into the Evolutionary Rise yesterday.” My heart skipped a beat at the mention of the Evolutionary Rise. Pace and Gunner wouldn’t come out of there alive, and their DNA was probably under fifty scopes right now.

  “That’s not good,” Saffediene said. “What for?”

  “Experimentation,” Ivory said, her delivery smooth and unemotional. She was the perfect Insider. She’d probably get along real well with Jag.

  “Are they dead?” Saffediene’s tone pitched a little higher.

  “Their status is ‘experimentation,’ ” Ivory said. “And Indiarina Blightingdale has been slated for Modification.”

  I closed my eyes and felt my body slump. Modification. A new life. A new name. Like Raine, who still struggled to introduce herself properly. After the procedure was done, Indy wouldn’t remember Jag or me or the Resistance. Nothing.

  “When?” Saffediene asked.

  “Friday.”

  What day is it today? I cached Saffediene.

  Tuesday, she said.

  “Can your team get them out?” I asked.

  Ivory squinted at me again. “I think I know you.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Yeah? How?”

  “Couple of years ago, someone needed an emergency teleporter in an alley outside Eleven. I was sent.”

  My blood ran cold. My heart raced double time. I’d tried to forget that night. The strobing lights. The barking dogs. That empty alley where I’d left the memory of Blaze and made Jag hate me forever.

  I shook my head to disagree, but Ivory forged on. “It was you. You look older, but it’s you. I threw the capsule. You left without even saying thank you.”

  Zenn, you’re hurting me. Saffediene’s voice stopped my downward spiral.

  I released her hand, unaware I’d been squeezing so hard. I swallowed. “Someone died that night. Jag Barque’s brother.”

  Ivory shifted her weight onto one leg, waiting for more of an explanation.

  “Blaze Barque was an Assistant Director. He couldn’t get caught evacuating Insiders. I could do the job without him, but he wouldn’t stay. I voice-controlled him. Forced him to remain in the alley. I thought he’d be fine. I was in and out. He wasn’t there when I returned, and I had to leave so fast.” My words sounded like excuses.

  “You could’ve said two words,” Ivory said.

  “I wasn’t thinking clearly,” I replied. “But I am now. Thank you. We’re flying to Castledale to launch a second wave on General Darke. We desperately need Pace, Gunner, and Indy, though.” Ivory scowled, and I quickly added, “And anyone who wants to come fight for freedom.”

  I had a feeling that’s what she wanted. She hated this city, this controlled life, and she hated me for not taking her away from it years ago. I waited while she stared at us, but not really. She was vision-screening again.

  “When are you leaving?” she asked.

  “As soon as possible,” Saffediene said. “We told Jag we’d be there by morning.”

  Ivory focused on Saffediene. “We can’t get your people out by morning. But we can launch a breach when you throw your second wave at Darke. When is that?”

  “We’ll arrive in Castledale in the morning,” Saffediene said. “The second wave goes out when Darke arrives back in the city.” She glanced at me. “We’re not exactly sure—”

  “Day after tomorrow,” I said. “Full dark.”

  Ivory scrutinized me again. Her lips pursed, and she brushed her hair out of her eyes. “Day after tomorrow. Full dark. That should give us enough time. We won’t launch too early so as to draw Darke
here instead of back to Castledale.”

  “It’s a deal,” I said.

  After Ivory had walked away, and after Saffediene and I had climbed on our hoverboards and set a course for Castledale, my body buzzed with adrenaline. It felt good to be working in the Resistance again. Really working.

  If only I could quell that nagging voice in the back of my head. The one that spoke in Director Hightower’s timbre. The one that asked: Are you sure you’re on the right side?

  * * *

  I can’t outfly Director Hightower’s words, just like I can’t hide in the dark.

  “Here’s how this is going to go,” the Director says, still stroking his protocol-breaking beard. “You’re going to lead me directly to Jag Barque, and once we’ve annihilated his Insiders, you’re going to come back to Freedom with me.”

  I can’t move, and I can’t speak. But the horror inside me must show on my face—or maybe the Director is inside my head. It doesn’t matter, he knows what I’m thinking.

  “I know it’s Jag’s group, Jag’s objectives, Jag’s everything. None of this has anything to do with you, Zenn.”

  I wish it were my Resistance. My cause. But I know it’s not, and Director Hightower knows it too. “You simply got caught up in the Resistance before you were old enough to know better.”

  I want to tell him I do know better, but he smiles in that patronizing way that makes me both angry and afraid. “You didn’t know better then, Zenn. You do now. And you know what we’re fighting to maintain. Clean water. Jobs and food for everyone. A life without sickness, without suffering.”

  He nods. “Yes, I know what you’ve seen in Harvest.”

  He knows nothing of what I’ve seen. I try to look away, to break the connection between us, but I’m too weak. I’ve felt defeated before. Like I don’t matter. Like I’ll never be good enough. But I’ve never felt this level of anguish before.

  I search for the root of this pain and find it hidden deep within myself. I hate the truth that I’ve been trying to hide from, but Director Hightower speaks it, makes it alive and real.

  And deep in my soul, I know he’s right when the Director says, “You could be Freedom’s Director, Zenn. Big things are happening here. Are you sure you’re on the right side?”