When Loyalty Dies, So Does Love

by Dorothy Brown-Newton

  It got to the point where I was bodying a different nigga almost every day, so I had to make a decision to get out rich while I still had my life or die trying to be king of the streets. I chose my life. Turk talked me out of getting out of the game completely, so we decided to focus on distribution, instead of being knee-deep in the game. We made sure we had an equal partnership with a few soldiers we trusted to rock with us. Again, Turk was the only man I trust with my life.

  I was taught always to respect women. When I first met Tasha, I fell for her almost instantly. Even though my man Turk was feeling her, I couldn’t let him have her, so I made a move first, and the rest was history. Turk and I were brothers, and no one could tell us different, so I knew he didn’t have any ill feelings behind that bitch move I’d made. At first, I treated her like the queen she was. Then all these different females were coming at a nigga left and right, and I lost control and began thinking with the wrong head. That led to me fucking all different types of bitches—cute, ugly, fat, or skinny. It didn’t matter to me. These bitches had me feeling like that dude. But on my word, I was going to make this shit right. I hadn’t told her, but I did love her. I was willing to learn to respect her if it killed me.

  I walked into the guest bedroom. Tasha was sound asleep. “Tasha, baby, wake up. Tasha.” She started to stir lightly as I shook her gently. “Tasha, baby, wake up. I need to talk to you.”

  “What, Rellz? Wake up for what? I can’t do this no more. You got my girl looking at me sideways, not understanding why I keep putting up with your bullshit.”

  “Fuck that dyke. Why she always up in my business and worried about what the fuck I’m doing? That bitch probably wants you for herself.”

  “See? That’s what I mean. What happened to the Rellz that respected females? All I’ve ever done was love you, but that’s not enough for you. Every time I turn around, it’s this bitch or that bitch. I’m tired of looking like a damn fool to everyone. Then you fuck this bitch Rena, and you know she lives down the street from my mother. Are you fucking serious?”

  “Listen, baby. I know I said sorry a million times, but I promise I’m done fucking with these hoes. I love you.”

  I could tell she was taken aback by me telling her I loved her, because, like I said, I had never said it before. I always knew that I loved her, but being the player that I was, I just couldn’t see myself saying the words—until now. I really felt that she was at that point where she was fed up and ready to leave me. I couldn’t let that happen.

  “I love you too, Rellz, and I promise you this will be the last chance you get to make this shit right. I can’t keep doing this with you. You have me disrespecting myself, fighting like I’m some hood rat. And then, today, I’m fighting in front of my mom’s house, with her neighbors watching. She’s yelling at me about leaving you, because she doesn’t understand why I keep letting you do me like this, and my only defense is that I love you. You have to show me that same love, Rellz, or I’m done.”

  “I can show you better than I can tell you, Tash.”

  “I hope so, Rellz, because I’m tired of this shit.” I kissed her to let her know that I was serious and told her just to be patient with me. I was going to get this shit right because one thing that I did know was that I didn’t want to lose her.

  I made love to my baby and put that ass to sleep.

  Ursula

  “Slow down before he sees you. We’re not moving on his ass tonight. I say we watch this nigga for a few weeks to see how much weight and cash this nigga is moving.”

  Unbeknownst to Jai and Ursula, Turk had already spotted them. The spot that he’d detoured to wasn’t the trap house, but by the time those two figured it out, they would be dead and stinking.

  They watched him as he made the drop. He didn’t leave until about an hour later, and they both were mad hyped, thinking it had taken him that long to count the money. But little did they know, Turk was waiting on them to make a move, so while they were happy, he was highly disappointed.

  Tasha

  Rellz was the perfect boyfriend for about a good month, before the calls started again. This bitch Rena was playing Facebook games, telling me that she was pregnant and that Rellz was the father. I blocked that bitch, and of course, Rellz, denied it. I knew there was some truth to the bitch’s statement, because this nigga had booked a trip to Las Vegas for just the two of us, talking about, “Come on, babe. Let’s get away from the madness for a few days.” Unbeknownst to his ass, I had already seen the in-box with the e-mails the bitch had sent him. She had told him that if he didn’t come and see her, she was going to make sure she showed up to the house with proof of her pregnancy and show out. It was all good, though. I was going to ride this wave until the water came down. Literally.

  When we got to the fucking airport, this nigga Turk and some bitch were waiting on us. I’m telling you, Rellz was really starting to make me hate his ass.

  “Rellz, I thought you said it was going to be a getaway for the two of us.”

  “Babe, you know I don’t go anywhere without my right hand.”

  I pulled my hand from his and stomped off. I didn’t understand why I had even tried with his ass.

  “Tasha, why you always got to show out?” he called behind me.

  I stopped walking and turned to face him. “I’m not showing out. Every time we go out of town, Turk is with us. I get sick of you bringing him along. This is time we are supposed to spend together, but you always end up spending it with his ass, discussing business or taking care of business. I’m sick of it.”

  “Don’t even sweat that, baby girl. It’s me and you. Don’t you see Turk got his shorty with him? Babe, I promise. It’s you and me this whole trip. Watch and see.”

  This nigga really thought he got a bitch wrapped around his finger. Yeah, maybe in the beginning, but not anymore. He had shown his true colors too many times for me to continue to be blinded by the bullshit he spoke.

  After a long flight and a car ride, we arrived at the hotel Bellagio, and I was in awe. The outside of the hotel was breathtaking, and because we had arrived at night, I got to enjoy a beautiful view of the waterfall. We got to the room, and I loved it. Turk’s room was next door to ours. We all agreed to freshen up and meet at Lily Bar & Lounge. You would have thought I never went anywhere by the way I acted when I saw the room. Now my ass was reacting the same way when we walked into the lounge. It had a panoramic view of the surrounding casino floors, and it featured stone tabletops and community-style ottomans. The DJ was on point, and I couldn’t seem to stop shaking my ass. They even had several HDTVs available if you wanted to watch the sports channels. We enjoyed good conversation, and the drinks kept flowing until we closed the bar down at 4:00 a.m. Then we skipped our drunk asses right over to the Bank, a nightclub, and turned up.

  We really had a good time in Vegas. We gambled, shopped, and fucked all over that hotel room. What more could a girl ask for? The weekend went to fast, and I was a little sad to go, but Rellz promised he would bring me back.

  After returning home, I was sad to say I was back to my reality of bullshit. While I was gone, someone had destroyed my Benz. What had me puzzled was how the hell anyone had got past the gate to do this nonsense. It had to be someone who knew the codes to the gate. I was pissed the fuck off. I had an idea who the culprit was, and so did Rellz. Even though we had just got back, I heard him on the phone telling Turk to drop that chick off so he could scoop him up to take a ride with him.

  Rellz

  “Turk, I’m going to kill this bitch. You should see Tasha’s fucking ride. You know it’s nothing to repair or replace her ride, but that bitch came to my crib and disrespected where I lay my fucking head, like I’m some punk. This bitch is going to learn today.”

  Turk just sat and listened to me vent. Truth be told, he was sick of me and Rena and our back-and- forth, because no one suffered but Tasha.

  Rena opened the front door and got the shock of her life when I grabbed her by
the neck. She began clawing at my hands, but to no avail. I was furious. I was sick of her testing my gangsta. When I let go of her neck, she fell to the floor, gasping, but I didn’t care. I begin slapping her, and I kicked her twice before I reached in my waist. I pulled out my .380 and put it to her head.

  “Bitch, if you ever—”

  “Daddy, nooo . . .” I stopped mid-sentence as my daughter, Raina, snapped me out of my rage. I put the gun back in my waistband, picked my baby girl up, and carried her upstairs to her room.

  “Daddy, is Mommy okay?”

  “Yes, baby. She’s fine. She’s not feeling well. Go finish watching cartoons while I check on your mommy.”

  “Okay, Daddy.”

  “Love you, baby girl.” I stood in the hallway for a few minutes to gather my thoughts. I had never wanted my daughter to see that part of me. I walked back downstairs, and I didn’t even acknowledge that bitch. I just stepped. I felt bad that my daughter had had to see me almost murder her mom. It was really killing me. The look on her face was etched in my mind, and it brought tears to my eyes. My baby girl was my weakness.

  No one understood why this bitch got so many passes. Her being my baby’s mother was the reason, but if she ever did some shit like that again, baby mom or not, that bitch was going to take a dive in somebody’s lake. This bitch was claiming to be pregnant again, and nine times out of ten, it was mine. I knew I had to let Tasha know before shit got out of hand. Rena was one of those bitches who kept drama going. You would think that ass kicking she had just received would have her sit her ass down somewhere, but not this bitch. She was going to keep coming at a nigga until I was forced to body her ass. I called Tasha to let her know I was on my way and needed to talk to her.

  When I got to the crib, she was sitting on the sofa, arms folded. I sat across from her, just in case she jumped on a nigga.

  “Babe, tomorrow we can go to the dealer for you to get a new ride, and I do apologize for Rena fucking up your car. I never told you, but Rena isn’t just some chick that I just started fucking with. When I met her, she didn’t live on your mom’s block. She lived with her father over on Brewster Street. I’ve been messing with her off and on for about five years—way before I met you.”

  “So why the fuck am I just finding out about the bitch?”

  “Let me finish. Like I said, I met her way before you, and that’s when she got pregnant with my daughter.” I saw Tasha’s leg shaking a mile a minute; she started tearing up, but she let me finish. “She disappeared with my daughter for a whole year, and once I started messing with you, that first day I picked you up from your mom’s crib, I saw that bitch. It took everything in me not to approach her, so when I dropped you off at home, I went to the house I saw her at. That’s when I found out that the house she was staying at was her mother’s house, and that’s where her and my daughter were now living. So from that day on, as long as I gave her money, she allowed me to see my daughter, but as soon as she found out that I had a girlfriend, the only way she would let me see my daughter was for me to continue giving her money and fucking her. I had already missed a year of my daughter’s life, so I just went with it. At the time I didn’t know that I was going to fall for you and be with you like this. Like I said, we had just met. Now she’s saying she’s pregnant by me again, but, babe, I promise you, that baby isn’t mine.”

  “So this right here,” she said, pointing between herself and me, “has been a lie. You telling me you have been fucking her for the same amount of time you been fucking me and you have a fucking kid? Who lies about having a kid? I mean, that’s something I should have known on the second date, once you found her. So how old is your daughter?”

  “She’ll be four next month.”

  “Wow. I really need to get out of here. I need some air.”

  I gave her the keys to my Range. I knew this was a hard pill to swallow, so I let her leave to clear her head. I was just glad she didn’t go the fuck off, but then again, her ass was a little too calm. I could say it felt good finally to tell her the truth. Even if it meant losing her.

  Tasha

  I just drove around, crying my eyes out, until I realized I was no good driving on the road with blurred vision. I decided to go by Jai and Ursula’s place to clear my head. Jai opened the door with that “I told you so” look. I just brushed past her ass, because I wasn’t in the mood for her going in on me. Now would not be the time.

  “Hey, Ursula.”

  “Hey, Tash. How you feeling?”

  “I’m okay. I just needed a breather from the bullshit with Rellz. You know this bitch Rena isn’t no random trick. She’s his baby’s mom. Now I understand why this bitch was always going so hard. The bitch has been around longer than my ass, and now she’s claiming to be pregnant again.”

  “OMG. Girl, you need a drink.”

  Ursula gave me a glass of Moscato Rosé—just what I needed to calm my nerves. Usually, my limit was a glass or two, but after my third glass, I was tipsy as hell and feeling nice. We had dinner and just sat around, talking shit. I didn’t realize I had dozed off, but I must have, because I was dreaming that Rellz was between my legs, eating my pussy. After I opened my eyes and looked down to tell him that he could no longer have this pussy, I realized it wasn’t Rellz between my legs, and I wasn’t dreaming. Ursula was between my legs, doing things to my pussy that I had never had the pleasure of feeling. Now, don’t get me wrong. Rellz put in down in that area, but her tongue felt so good, kind of like a heated tongue massage. It was crazy how her tongue was working my insides.

  When she realized I wasn’t going to stop her, she put my legs on her shoulders and went to work. I closed my eyes, enjoying the moment, but my eyes popped back open when I heard movement on the other side of the room. When I turned to look where the movement was coming from, I saw Jai sitting in a chair, stroking her strap-on, and I instantly wanted to be fucked. I didn’t know if they had put something in my drink, but at this point, I really didn’t care. My body was on fire, and I needed the fire to be put out.

  Jai walked over to join us. I had always known she wanted to fuck me, and she knew that I didn’t get down like that. So with me here willingly, she wasn’t about to take a backseat on getting in my pussy after she had begged for so long and had been turned down every time. She had even come at me with the “Just let me taste it” bullshit. I was now in the doggy-style position as she entered me and started slow fucking me, while Ursula was playing with my nipples with her tongue. She was licking and then biting before taking the whole nipple into her mouth. I threw the pussy back, matching Jai stroke for stroke, until I came. I lay down on my back, and Ursula lay on top of me, and we bumped and ground our pussies together, kissing and caressing each other at the same time. Ursula brought me to another orgasm, and Jai sucked up all my juices. Ursula then began riding the dildo, and while she fucked Jai, I fingered her asshole. We sexed each other until we were all sexed out.

  I woke up with a hangover. I powered on my phone and saw I had a few messages from Rellz, asking me if I was okay and if I was ready to talk. I really wasn’t in the mood to deal with his ass right now. I just didn’t understand. How hard was it just to be honest? Niggas were the main ones who were walking around and talking about keeping it real, but they lied every chance they got. How could I possibly be mad about something that had happened before me? Really, how could I? It was before me, dumb ass. I was mad because his ass had lied about it and had continued fucking with her, and he was possibly the father of another child with the bitch. When he had found this bitch and his daughter, he had just met me, no there were feelings involved. So he could have walked away or just been honest with me, but he didn’t get that. He had stayed and made the decision to keep it from me. He’d misled me about being in a relationship with him, and he hadn’t given me the chance to decide what I wanted.

  When I got back to the house, Rellz was sitting on the couch, playing the game. I walked right upstairs like I didn’t even see him. As I
was about to get out of yesterday’s clothes, I heard someone knocking on the front door like they had lost their fucking mind. I rushed down the stairs, thinking it was Rena. If this bitch was bold enough to come back, I was going to kick her ass—pregnant or not. I was sick of this bitch. When I got to the door, it was the police, and Rellz was being arrested. My being mad at him went out of the window, and I started tearing up. He was being arrested for assaulting Rena.

  So you mean to tell me this bitch comes over here, fucks up my car, and she calls the fucking police? The nerves of this bitch, I thought.

  “Tasha, call Turk and let him know what’s going on. He’ll know what to do.”

  I ignored Rellz and approached the officer. “Officer, why is he being arrested? She came here and damaged my car.”

  This motherfucker looked at me like it hurt him to speak to me and then asked me if I had any proof. Being the drama queen that I was known to be when I felt like I was being disrespected, I went in on his ass.

  “Do you have any proof he assaulted her? No, but that didn’t stop you from coming over here and putting his ass in cuffs, now did it?” I didn’t give him a chance to answer before I continued. “So you mean to tell me, anyone can call you and say someone assaulted them and give you an address, and you will come out and arrest that person without any proof? Does that make any damn sense?”

  He gave me that look that they give you before they ask you to turn around and face the wall. I was a little shook that I would be arrested, but I didn’t show it.

  “Ma’am, I’m going ask you to please go inside and let us do our job. You didn’t call and report vandalism to your car, so that’s not the matter at hand. For future reference, just know that you can’t take the law into your own hands, because when you do, this is the end result. That’s why he’s in cuffs.”