Stephanie shook her head.
“I don’t need to think about it. I’ve always trusted my instincts. If we’re going to be together, I need to start trusting yours. You said it’ll be safe, so I believe you.”
Relief filled him. She wasn’t giving up on them or even arguing about how difficult seeing each other might be. They could make this long distance situation work, at least for the time being. He chewed a piece of shrimp and thought about all of the things they might do during this visit.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
As an extra precaution, Stephanie insisted they reserve the motel accommodations in her name and understood much more clearly how important it was that no one from the pool hall had known about her. Additionally, she arrived before Chaz, checked in, and called him with the room number so he wouldn’t have to stop at the front desk. That first trip was fun, relaxing, rejuvenating.
Of course, Stephanie couldn’t avoid telling Karen and Victor what was going on. After not explaining why she’d taken off from work or where she’d been, and after disappearing again two weeks later, and because they knew she was being evasive whenever they asked questions, they were getting worried about what their friend might be into.
“An FBI agent?” Victor’s eyebrows rose in awe.
“Yes, but no one can know besides you. Chaz wasn’t supposed to tell me and he definitely wasn’t supposed to continue seeing me. Not only was it a breach of their protocol, it could be dangerous if someone finds him by finding me.”
“Then, we’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.” Karen shrugged, tucked her legs beneath her on the long sofa where the three of them were sitting, and was thoughtful for a moment before nodding and asking, “Are you happy, Steph?”
“Yes, I’m happy. We’ll have to see how these visits work out, but at least we have a way of being together.”
Victor positioned his infant son against his chest and began rocking the baby to sleep. He shook his head and said that he didn’t think the visits would work at all.
“What do you mean?” Karen asked the question before her friend could.
“Look at her,” he began. “She glows when she thinks about seeing him and I’ll bet he does the same.” He shook his head. “Weekends aren’t going to be enough for very long.”
“What other choice do we have? We have commitments three hundred miles apart.”
“No, you don’t.” Victor was kindly adamant. He gave her a bright smile. “Chaz has reasons not to come back to Erie, but you don’t have any reasons to stay. You hate your job, you’re leasing your apartment, and your parents moved back to Wisconsin years ago. There’s nothing to keep you from moving to Cincinnati.”
Everyone was quiet. Stephanie looked like the reality of her circumstances had never occurred to her. Karen took a swallow of tea and set the mug on the coffee table.
“He’s right,” she finally agreed. “You at least have to consider it.”
“What if I’m not ready to consider it? Do you realize I’ve only known him for a few months?”
“Love doesn’t have a timeline.” Victor wrapped an arm around Karen’s shoulders and kissed the side of her face as confirmation of that philosophy. “Sometimes things move quickly to keep us from thinking too much when we should be acting. And if there’s one thing we can all agree on is that we believe in fate.”
Chaz believed in fate, too. Stephanie had asked him on the night they’d met.
That thought was on her mind as she drove to Cleveland the following weekend for their second rendezvous. In fact, she was thinking about everything Victor had said. Still, she wasn’t sure that she was ready or that Chaz would want her to permanently move to Cincinnati. And, until she had a dream to help her, weekend visits would have to be enough.
“You’re shutting me out,” Chaz complained as they walked from the restaurant to their motel room. “You’ve been doing it all day. So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
“I had to tell Karen and Victor about us.”
“That’s not what’s bothering you.” He opened the door and they stepped inside the brightly decorated room with the king-size bed and small seating area.
“You aren’t worried about them knowing?”
“No. They love you; they’ll protect you.” He stretched out on his back across the bed. “What else are you thinking about?”
Stephanie shrugged and decided she wasn’t ready to tell Chaz everything.
“I’ve never told you about them; I should.” She paused. “Victor is very intuitive and completely trusts his instincts, and he has an incredible sense of confidence because he almost always knows the right thing to do. But Karen has a different gift: she can see people’s personalities and emotions through the colors that surround them. They’re called auras. On top of that, all of us believe in the healing powers of natural herbs and, lots of times, Karen will make special teas to help cleanse people of stress or improve positive elements of their auras. She does that for me sometimes when I feel off balance, and it works.”
Chaz listened carefully as Stephanie explained that they didn’t think of their gifts as mystical but rather an incredible ability to connect with basic elements of nature and the mind and that these types of abilities have existed for thousands of years. She sat on the edge of the bed and talked about how it was wonderful that all three of their gifts complimented one another and how they trusted them totally whenever they were all in agreement.
“Should I assume that you’re not in agreement right now?”
“I’m the one who’s out of sync,” Stephanie reluctantly admitted.
“And, that bothers you?”
“Yes.”
Chaz was quiet.
“Do you trust me?” he eventually asked.
“Of course I trust you.”
“Will you trust me if what I want doesn’t match what your friends want for you?”
“Yes.”
He was quiet again.
“Do you have faith in me even though I don’t have any special gifts?”
“That’s not a problem because everyone has a gift,” she countered with a tilt of her head. “Maybe your gift is based in your need to find balance in the world around you. It’s what guides the way you make decisions. You’re very open-minded about things, such as my gift, that aren’t easily explained by common logic.”
He propped up on his elbows and looked into her eyes.
“But not enough to tell me what’s really wrong,” he accused. There was no anger in his words, only disappointment. “I believe in our love, Stephanie; I need you to believe in it too.”
“I do.”
He dropped the subject and asked whether she’d made arrangements to come to Cincinnati in a couple of weeks. It was going to be a holiday weekend, so they’d have an extra day together. He wanted to know whether there was anything special she wanted to do and whether it was okay to invite friends over for a cookout on Sunday. He wanted her to feel at ease.
But Stephanie sensed the wall that was up between them. It was her fault. She should have told Chaz that her friends thought their relationship was moving too slowly. But then she would have to explain that, as much as she loved him, she wasn’t going to make a commitment that she wasn’t sure either of them was ready for. That conversation could get very complicated; she didn’t want to ruin their time together.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Chaz didn’t know what to do about Stephanie.
When they’d met, she had been a very courageous free spirit. He’d seen a glimpse of it during their blind date when she’d felt comfortable enough with a stranger to look him in the eye and speak about destiny and intuition. He’d felt her openness when she let him see her attraction to him at the wedding reception and seen her confidence when she’d boldly given her phone number with no hesitation or pressure. She’d been courageously vulnerable throughout those weeks while they were growing closer. And then there was her surprise visit to Cincinnati: she had bee
n completely open about what she felt and what she needed. She captivated him with her quiet way of being honest.
She was funny and carefree and brave enough to not mind being emotionally exposed. She’d been able to look into his soul and soothe his uncertainty and accept whatever he was willing to give. She gave herself intensely but without demands. And she hadn’t been daunted by the possibility of putting herself at risk by dating him; she’d been more concerned about him.
In fact, the only times he’d ever seen her worried was because of him. The first was after she’d discovered her dream had been real, that he actually had been shot. The second was after she’d dreamed about his encounter with Paul Watkins. And the final time was when she’d come to Cincinnati to keep him from going to Erie. She had wanted to protect him.
But, loving him had changed her. Some of that openness was gone. Some of her optimism was replaced with uncertainty. Her spirit was a little more guarded—and he didn’t know how to change her back.
“You really are in love.” Sylvia shook her head as if she was having a hard time understanding. “How long have you known her? Four months? Five? Are you sure this long distance relationship is what you need? Maybe she’s right to worry about whether it’ll work. Maybe you should be a little more worried. You really don’t know a lot about each other.”
Chaz thought about that. Sylvia may have a valid point, but she didn’t know about the dreams or the depth they brought to the connection. She only knew that he was in love with someone he’d met while on an assignment. He thought it was very ironic that two women who wanted to protect him could be so different in their reasons and their approaches. But then, Sylvia was a federal cop and she thought like one.
“I’m not saying that she doesn’t love you, Chaz. But does she love you as much as you want to believe? You’re a very observant man. There’s got to be something you picked up on that would explain your doubts.”
“I don’t have doubts,” he corrected as he set a plate of sausages on the patio table and turned the grill’s gas off. “We’re right for each other.”
“But she has secrets, just like anyone else.” Sylvia was relentless. “Otherwise, she’d already have told you what you want to know, right? And what is that anyway, Chaz? What do you really want to know?”
“I want to find out whether she can rely on me as much as she relies on her friends.” That was a simple way of explaining a very complex issue.
“It’s a long distance romance, Chaz. You’re expecting too much.” She shook her head and sipped from the ice cold bottle of beer.
“Maybe not,” Will countered. He’d been carefully watching his friend. “If he can figure out why she’s hesitating, maybe he’ll convince her to move to Cincy.”
“Is that what you want?” Sylvia folded her arms across her chest and stared at Chaz.
“I want everything, Syl—the house, the wife, the kids; a future. And I want it with Stephanie.” His eyes held hers.
“You’re nuts, Chaz. You just met her. But, regardless of that, what if she doesn’t want to be a cop’s wife? After all, you’ve already been shot once. She’s got to be worried about what will happen on the next assignment or the one after that.”
“Everyone who’s married to a cop worries about that,” Will reasoned. His wife rolled her eyes.
“Stephanie doesn’t have to worry. I’m not going undercover anymore.” Chaz’s friends stared at him in disbelief. He shrugged and added, “I’ve been reassigned. I told you—I want a wife and kids.”
Both of his friends continued to stare at him. Finally, Sylvia threw her hands in the air.
“You don’t even know whether she wants what you want! You don’t know whether this free-spirit that has captivated you can handle reality! You don’t know why she isn’t being open with you about her other friends! You’re an FBI agent, Chaz. You’ve worked hard for your career. And you’re actually taking a desk job for someone you just met?”
“Drop it, Sylvia,” her husband interrupted. “He’s not going to change his mind.”
No, he wasn’t. Still, Chaz thought about what his friends had said. After their conversation, he talked to Stephanie several times. Although they seemed all right, he could still sense a barrier between them.
She’d said that she wasn’t in sync with her friends. What had they wanted? Karen and Victor were wonderful people—charming, considerate, devoted. They’d been warm toward him, but that was before they knew he was a federal agent. Were they cautioning Stephanie against being involved with him now that they knew the truth? Or were they saying the opposite and Stephanie was the one unsure?
He frowned at that thought. Unsure about what? Even when she’d said they had to leave their future in the hands of fate, she’d been certain that whatever would happen would be all right. And she’d been calm, even when she’d felt that fate was breaking her heart right after he’d left Erie.
Why was she suddenly hesitant about opening up to him?
Chaz pushed aside those thoughts and pulled out his checklist for the weekend. He’d already made calls to the people he was inviting to Sunday’s cookout. He’d stocked the pantry and refrigerator and made sure he had all of the supplies for grilling. He’d made a list of movies that would be playing in theaters starting on Friday and a list of festivals in case they wanted to be outdoors. He had picked up the flowers and candles for tonight. And he double-checked every item before shoving the paper into his pants pocket and turning his attention back to work.
He was working extra hours so he could make this practically a four-day weekend without using any vacation time. He flipped open a file and took out several sheets where he’d already made comments in the margins. Re-reading his notes, he was happy to be comparing the scopes and progress of ongoing field operations instead of actually being a field agent. His current job provided a much broader perspective, and it was easy to get engrossed in the details of the cases.
Just before 6:00 p.m., he left the building, got into his car, and turned on the radio. Stephanie was on the freeway; he tuned to an all-news channel so he could listen for any traffic updates. Before he could even get out of the parking garage, the reporter was talking about a fatal accident on I-71 southbound, just past Columbus. His heart was pounding as he pulled onto the street and found a place to park.
What time had Stephanie said she was leaving Erie? Could she already have gotten that far? If not, would she have to sit in traffic for hours while the wreckage was cleared? He pulled out his cell phone and hit her speed dial number. It rang four times before going to voice mail: that meant the phone was on.
Nothing around him registered as Chaz made the drive home. As soon as he pulled into his parking spot, his fingers were hitting that speed dial button. For the second time, it went to voice mail. He went into the house and fixed himself a soft drink with lots of ice. Before the beverage was even half gone, he was making the call again. Same result.
He glanced at the clock on the microwave and told himself that Stephanie hadn’t left Erie until 3:00, as she’d planned. It was only 6:17. She shouldn’t have reached Columbus early enough to have been a part of the accident. But if she was, and if she was hurt, no one would know to call him.
Maybe there was a reason she hadn’t answered her phone. He slurped down the last of the liquid and popped an ice cube into his mouth. It was a habit he’d picked up from her.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
As had been the case before, Stephanie had a lot of time to think on the drive from Erie to Cincinnati. She got tired of thinking. Instead, she popped in a music CD and turned up the volume. Unfortunately, that meant she didn’t hear her cell phone ring. She didn’t know Chaz had called until she stopped for gas just north of Columbus. Three missed calls.
His voice was so relieved when he answered his cell phone that it made her nervous.
“There’s an accident between here and Columbus,” he explained. “I was worried.”
“So far, traffic i
sn’t backed up, which is great on Labor Day weekend, but I’m still north of the city. If it isn’t cleared by the time I get to where the accident was supposed to be, I’ll call to let you know I’ll be late. Otherwise, I should be there by 8:30.”
“I don’t care what time you get here.” His relief turned to irritation. “I care that you get here safely. That’s a long drive, and . . .” He didn’t finish the sentence so that he could force himself to calm down. “Just be careful, okay?”
“Okay.” She ended the call and pulled onto the freeway entrance ramp.
An hour and a half later, she parked in the assigned guest space in front of Chaz’s townhouse and grabbed her small suitcase from the back seat. The apartment’s door swung open as she stepped onto the walkway and she was greeted by an unsmiling face and a possessive hug.
“I’m fine,” she assured him as she ran a finger along the edge of his jaw and tried to decipher the expression in his eyes. They stepped inside and she closed the door. “It was an easy drive and traffic kept flowing. I’m all right.”
“You have to move here,” was a quiet command. “You’re going to work and then driving nearly six hours; anything can happen on the freeway, especially if you’re tired, or someone else isn’t paying attention, or the weather is bad.” He took a breath and slowly let it out, but his hold on her didn’t loosen. He rested his forehead against hers. “Move here, Stephanie. We can rent a bigger place, even a house if that’s what you want; just be here with me.”
Victor’s words rang in Stephanie’s memory: There’s nothing to keep you from moving to Cincinnati. Yes, there was: Chaz hadn’t said he wanted her to.
“Chaz, you’re only saying this because you were afraid while I was on the road.”
“Of course I was afraid, but I want you here because I love you, Stephanie. I would have brought you with me the day I left Erie if you would have let me.”
Premonitions: Dream Catcher Series ~ Book 1 Page 8
