The Download

by R. E. Carr

  “Kei, what are you talking about? You’re the son of the Great Bear. Your mother was a Machidonian—”

  “No, no, no, no, no!” Kei howled. A strange cat noise burst out of his throat. “You do not understand. They found my mother frozen. She was not a Machidonian. She was worse.”

  “We have to get you out of here.” CALA, can you hear me?

  “Worse. She needed the marker, so she found my father. I was bred to be a key,” Kei said, curling tighter into a ball. “I am corrupt, filthy.”

  “Kei,” she said softly. “Kei, snap out of it.”

  “If you don’t believe me, look!” he howled.

  Jenn whirled around. The darkness peeled away from them. A stranger with several braids of black hair knelt before her. He kept his face lowered and his eyes shut, but his ashen skin made Jenn cock her head and ask,“Kei?”

  “Kei?” another voice asked. The kneeling boy with black braids looked up. Jenn gasped as she saw familiar blue eyes—but with round pupils instead of slits. His face seemed rougher, more rugged than the one he wore as an adult. His skin still had traces of flesh tone under the gray.

  The man who walked into view next hobbled slightly under the weight of an ornate bison headdress. He tapped his gnarled walking stick against the boy’s shoulder. His sleeves trailed along the ground around him.

  “Master Sorakare, I am ready,” boy Kei said, his voice clear and free of feline intonations.

  “Kei? Is this a memory of yours? Is that really you?” Jenn asked, but when she turned to face the cat-man, he was gone. “Kei?”

  “Are you ready to face your destiny, young Zhanfos?” Sorakare asked with a sly smile. “I know that you were shaking in your prayers not a heartbeat ago.”

  Young Kei blushed and averted his eyes. “Master, I do not know what to say . . .”

  “Then say nothing at all. A man who does not speak with confidence and from his heart is not a man. Stay silent and true to the Path. Of course, you are not yet a man, are you, Kei?”

  “No master,” he replied softly.

  Jenn stepped between the old shaman and his young student, but neither seemed to notice as she waved her hands in front of Kei’s watery blue eyes. “Kei? Can you even hear me? Kei?”

  “The council has decided to let you try the Ritual of Becoming even though your blood is impure. Be warned, Young Zhanfos, that this is not a ritual to be taken lightly. Once you invoke the will of the totem, there is no turning back. Very few half breeds have ever been chosen by the spirits, and even those who please the gods are forever marked and pained by the change,” Sorakare said gravely. The young Kei gritted his teeth. Sorakare smiled again. “But you already know this, do you not? It is pointless for me to try and change your mind.”

  “Kei, what were you thinking?” Jenn asked. “Why did you do this to yourself?”

  “Have you already selected the Spirit you will call, Kei?” Sorakare asked. “Please tell me that you have listened to my teachings.”

  Kei slowly rose to his feet. “I will not defy what is expected of me, Master Sorakare. I will go to Agara Mountain and offer my soul to the Great Ram.”

  Jenn asked incredulously, “He was gonna be a sheep?”

  Another child’s laughter cut through the scene. Jenn turned to see a boy with similar features to Kei’s, but with short black hair and darker skin. This boy poked and prodded young Kei mercilessly with a wooden sword, laughing more like a hyena than a tiger—but a tiger was exactly what this boy was. Jenn recognized his flickering golden eyes.

  “Saikain,” she whispered.

  “Sheep-boy! Sheep-boy! Kei is a sheep-boy!” Young Saikain taunted. Kei gnawed at his lip and averted his eyes. Saikain continued, “I cannot believe my brother is going to be a sheep.”

  “It is the mountain ram, not a sheep!” Kei snapped.

  “Well, tigers hunt sheep! We eat them for breakfast,” Saikain hissed. “No sheep will ever be Warlord, will he, Kei?”

  “I do not want to be Warlord, Saikain. I will be a great shaman, and—”

  Young Saikain burst into howls of laughter. “You? You a sh-sh-sha-hah-hah-man? I know what they say about you in the council, Kei. They think you are a fool, and they said that no grunt half breed would ever be anything more than a temple clerk! They are going to make you clean the filth from the sacred animals for the rest of your days, or maybe, if you are lucky, you will get to help little girls learn their prayers—”

  “Enough!” young Kei cried. He tried to take a swing at his brother. But his catlike reflexes simply weren’t there yet. Saikain proceeded to pummel the poor boy senseless as Jenn watched. Tears welled up in her eyes as she watched Kei roll on the ground with a bloody nose and black eye.

  “You will see. I will be a shaman. I will be a shaman, and even you will have to bow to me one day!” he spat.

  “No tiger will ever bow to his dinner,” Saikain snarled as he kicked his brother again for good measure.

  Jenn kneeled beside the shivering, bloodied boy. “I’m sorry, Kei. I’m so sorry, but you have to wake up. Come on. Come back to the present. Come back to me.”

  As she reached for him, snow began to fall. The darkness that surrounded him transformed into a bright, white field, and he lay trembling in front of a campfire. His hands clutched a string of prayer beads as he chanted.

  “Great spirit of this sacred peak, please hear my call. I have said the blessed prayers, Honorable Ram, and I am willing to devote my life to you,” Kei said. He opened his eyes and pushed up to his feet. He gulped before pulling a pouch from his side. “There is no turning back now,” he whispered. “Please spirits, please do not let me fail Father now.”

  Jenn watched the boy pour a sticky black liquid down his throat. He choked on it and began clutching his side the moment he swallowed. “Oh spirits!” he moaned as he dropped to the ground.

  “Kei!” Jenn cried. Once again, she was helpless. A hulking shadow lumbered into view. Its shaggy fur matched the snow that covered the mountain camp. The beast lowered its massive head toward the moaning boy. Jenn stepped back in awe at the magnificent ram with its curved golden horns and mammoth frame. “Now I know why Aries is a ram,” she whispered.

  Kei’s moans morphed into laughter as he saw the great beast approach. “I did it!” he cried. “I actually did it!”

  “No, you didn’t,” Jenn whispered.

  Young Kei reached desperately for the ram. A new shadow loomed on the rocks above them. In his delight, he didn’t see the slinking, creeping, hunched animal waiting for its prey. Kei bowed his head in reverence.

  “Great Ram, please favor me with your strength and power. I promise to serve you loyally and to impart your wisdom upon my tribe—”

  The ram’s ears turned sharply as snow sprayed from the rocks above. It barely managed to leap away as a lithe, speckled invader crashed Kei’s Ritual of Becoming. “No!” the young Beast-Man cried. The snow leopard lunged for its target. He jumped into the path of the monster intent on eating his chosen totem. Jenn screamed as she saw blood spray across the snow. Over and over again, the leopard attacked, trying to sink its fangs into Kei’s soft throat or belly. Kei yowled in desperation. The ram abandoned him for the safety of the tree line. “Spirits!” Kei screamed. “Save me!”

  At that instant, his cries of pain began to change into a howl of a different sort. Jenn watched in amazement as Kei’s skin began to sprout black-and-white fur. Bones cracked and realigned as the young Beast-Man wrenched under the onslaught of the great cat. Soon two roars pierced the night sky. The battle turned. The attacker became the victim, and the hungry animal was sent scurrying far away.

  The new leopard collapsed and licked his wounds. Jenn watched him curl up with whiskers twitching and his tail flickering.

  “Yeah, that’s my Kei,” she sighed. “Kei! Kei can you hear me? You have to wake up! Kei?”

  “He does not want to wake up, Ji-ann,” a new voice said. “He believes that he must be punished.”


  “Who are you?” Jenn asked the disembodied female voice.

  “I am . . . complicated.”

  “What are you doing to Kei? Let him out!”

  “I did nothing to him. I am merely the last trace of an old woman in his mind. If I could help him, I would have already done so.”

  “Where are we?” Jenn asked, once again surrounded by inky blackness and a shivering Kei. In the background, she could hear a cacophony of voices yelling insults in outrage.

  “How dare you solicit a totem greater than your station?”

  “See, the spirits have marked him as a traitor! Cast him out!”

  Kei curled into a tighter ball. “It was not my fault. The leopard chose me. I swear,” he said over and over again.

  “Whoever is out there, help him! I thought you said you wanted to help him!” Jenn cried.

  “I told you. If I could help him, I would have already done so. All I could do was bring you here.”

  “Well, a fat lot of good I’m doing!” Jenn cried. “He won’t even listen to me. He’s too busy suffering in the past.”

  “Kei’s mind is at war, Ji-ann. He is unable to reconcile the truth about his past and his future.”

  “You’re just as bad as all the other disembodied voices I’ve faced. If you’re not going to help, just shut up. Kei! Kei, I know you can hear me. You found me in my nightmare, now let me find you!”

  “Why? Why did she do it?” Kei said softly.

  Jenn gasped as she found herself staring at a woman in bed. The red-stained sheets burned into her eyes. “Oh my God,” she whispered as she saw herself, pale as death.

  Next to her unconscious form, Kei muttered more fervent prayers than she had even heard him whisper on the mountain. “Please, Great Spirit, do not punish her for my sins. I will do anything you wish, but please let her live.”

  “Kei, I lived! You weren’t being punished! I jumped in front of a sword. It was me being an idiot, not divine retribution. Kei, please don’t think—”

  She watched Kei watch over her limp form. Images flickered faster and faster, like a video on fast-forward. Day after day, and even as they moved her to a ship, Kei waited. No matter how long the day waned, he didn’t leave her side. “You really do care about me, don’t you cat-man?” Jenn sighed.

  “He will not forgive himself for your suffering, Ji-ann. His mind has been broken in the process of saving you.”

  “I told you to shut up, disembodied voice. Kei isn’t broken! He’s just scared, like I was. Whatever dragged me off into my own little world has done the same to him—only he really doesn’t seem to want to do anything but suffer. Kei, I know you can hear me. If you don’t snap out of this, both of us will die. Is that what you want? Is it?”

  Once again, Kei whimpered at Jenn’s feet. This time, as she knelt down beside him, she could feel warm fur under her hands. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed as tightly as she could. “Kei, come back to me. Please.”

  “The Spirits are punishing me, are they not? I am being punished for my weakness and my shame,” he said softly as tears welled up in his feline eyes.

  “No,” Jenn sighed. “Of course not. Something out there is trying to trick you, Kei. They did the same thing to me, only this time they are making you miserable instead of happy. They probably know you wouldn’t know how to be happy, and would just wake up. This way, they think they can trap you outside of your body forever. I know it, Kei. I can feel that this is a trap. Please, trust me. Please—”

  “All this suffering is my fault,” he whimpered.

  “Kei! Stop it! Listen to me, damn it. It is not your fault. None of this is your fault! You didn’t make that leopard attack you any more than you made me jump in front of you. Kei Zhanfos, stop this pity party right now and look at me. Look at me!”

  At long last, Kei turned his bloodshot eyes to her. He reached half-heartedly with his paw. Jenn took the opportunity to grab his head and kiss him roughly. Kei yelped in alarm.

  “Now that I’ve got your attention, just listen to me! Whatever happened in the past . . . it’s over, OK? We can’t change it. Now, you asked me to come back with you, didn’t you? Don’t you dare lie to me and hide away in your nightmare when you made me come out of mine. Don’t you dare do that to me, OK? Kei?”

  “You’re really here?” he croaked.

  “Of course I’m here, silly. You didn’t think I’d just leave you, did you?”

  He touched his paw to her face. She leaned against it rather than pulling away.

  “Let’s wake up,” Jenn whispered in his ear.

  Kei began to blush. “Did you see—?”

  “I only saw what I needed to see.”

  “They say in the Joining you have to confess something to your other half and to no one else,” Kei said softly. “I suppose, this is what I really should have said back then.”

  “Well, your secret is safe with me, sheep-boy.”

 

  Eon shivered even under layers of robes as he waited in the private gardens of the Oracle of Water. The tips of his fingers had a faintly blue cast. Each time the breeze whipped up from the ocean, he groaned. He brushed a bit of snow out of his hair and gave a whistful sigh of, “Licia, my how you linger on the skin.”

  Eon grasped a steaming mug of tea. He looked up and smiled at the concerned priestess of water, Dianna Adair. Behind her, Dailyn shut and barred the garden doors after he entered.

  “We are sorry for your suffering, Aj’Chatan Tzin,” the Knight said gravely.

  “No worries. All my extremities seem to have survived. Kei is alive and Ji-ann is safe. I think that is worth far more than pride and a little frostbite,” Eon said, smiling weakly.

  “If you say so, good Westerner,” Dianna sighed. “Brother, I will see that you two are not disturbed for as long as I am able.”

  Eon sipped as much of the hot liquid as he could between his chattering teeth. His body remained tense as he peeked around the olive trees in the sacred grove.

  “We assure you that this garden is secure. Our family has enough favor with the Oracle of Water to ensure that,” Dailyn said as he sat on a little bench opposite Eon.

  “But are we secure from said Oracle’s spies? Somehow I doubt that she lets anything happen on this mountain without her knowledge,” Eon asked. The Knight only chuckled. He continued with, “I’m sorry, good Knight, but my people haven’t had the same long tradition of positive experiences with the Oracles, especially the Oracle of Water. One mustn’t forget that it was her acolytes who ordered the death of the previous Oracle of Thunder not one year ago.”

  Dailyn grew strangely quiet. “What is in the past cannot be changed. If they figure out exactly who you are, Aj’Chatan Tzin, we suspect that your life will be significantly shorter. We can presume that you haven’t been stupid enough to talk to Licia?”

  “She was not interested in talking, I can assure you,” Eon said, still looking in the shadows. “So why did you want to speak to me, and why did you make such an effort to get me in here?”

  “We won’t dive too deeply into politics, but rest assured that the Oracle of Water didn’t order her sister’s death. We cannot say much more. Don’t you think it odd that three Oracles have died in the past few years, though? And that their replacements are little more than petulant girls?” Dailyn asked.

  Eon stared at his stiff fingers. “Oracles being murdered and replaced with puppets is nothing new, Dailyn. Even Knights have tried to manipulate this mountain.”

  The Knight bit his tongue. “Aj’Chatan Tzin, there is something we cannot say . . .but I must tell you,” he finally choked out.

  Eon rose to his feet. “What did you just say?”

  Dailyn grabbed the phantom’s arm and hissed in his ear. “My will cannot stand this division for long. I need your help. Silence the voices in my head before they consume me!”

  Eon broke free and stared, gobsmacked, at the Knight. T
he Knight grabbed his head and stared pleadingly at Eon.

  “You are asking for me to purposefully mute the ghosts in your mind?” Eon asked. “Are you mad? I may not even—”

  “If anyone can do it, it’s you, Eon. Please, if you want to know about my brother, you must—” Dailyn said. His eyes rolled back.

  Eon wasted no more time. He grabbed the Knight by his wrist.

  As the Phantom stared into the cloudy eyes of Dailyn, the Knight dropped to his knees. They remained locked in the strange embrace, staring intently at each other, for more than an hour before the Knight’s gaze finally cleared.

  The Knight’s jaw slackened at last, and his voice broke as he spat out, “It’s so quiet.”

  “Dailyn, are you still here?” Eon asked, still not letting go.

  “I feel sick,” the Knight gasped. “Very, very sick.”

  “Why risk this, Dailyn?” Eon asked. “This is madness. Knights aren’t supposed to—”

  “You don’t know what it is like listening to them all the time. My grandfather, his father, his father’s father . . . all of them constantly telling me what I should do. There is a reason so many of us go mad, Aj’Chatan Tzin. While they would let me help you, it was only to a point. They wouldn’t let me risk our family name.”

  “Do you know why the Machidonians are behaving so strangely?” Eon asked.

  Dailyn nodded.

  “What changed them?”

  Dailyn clutched his side. His efforts to control himself were in vain, however. He vomited all over the sacred stones.

  “Farris! It was my brother,” Dailyn gasped. “He inherited the voices of so many. I don’t think he could help himself.”

  “Farris?” Eon asked incredulously. “One madman is doing this?”

  Dailyn searched for words. “He wasn’t always that way. He used to make the deals in the family so I didn’t have to. His ancestors were always the ones who compromised their own honor for the sake of the clan. He has spies and allies all through Jasturia and Delphi. Long have I suspected that he was the one who arranged the deaths of the previous Oracles of Shadow and Ice, if not the Thunder Oracle too.”