by Lea Hart
“I guess they told you that I spent a couple of days with them?”
“Yes, they mentioned it.”
A loud crack of laughter filled the room. “That’s a very polite response. I was falling apart and desperate for some intel on how I could fix things between us, so I went over there and ended up staying for three days.”
“Did you like sleeping in my twin bed with the orange comforter?”
Sitting up, he pulled her into his lap. “I hate to admit just how much I liked it.”
“Did you snoop in my drawers and look at my diary?”
Leaning back, he gave her a frown. “Jeezus, Staz—no way.”
Patting his chest, she smiled. “That’s good because I have no desire to reveal the angst-ridden teen that I was until you are in so deep with me that there’s no escaping.”
“Honey, I’m already there.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I’m in so deep that I became incapacitated for the first time in my life when you told me to leave.” He ran his hand over his face and looked at the ceiling. “The last seventeen days have been an education in humility and tested everything that I thought I knew about myself.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you remember the day I came over to your place and told you about the threat that Dmitry posed against you?”
“Absolutely. It’s burned in my brain.”
“Being the arrogant son of a bitch that I am, I was sure that I was going to be the one ensuring our success in relationship boot camp.”
“I had no idea we were in a boot camp.”
“That’s what I called it in my mind. I knew the forced proximity that we were about to undertake was going to either make us or break us. Kind of like BUD/S.”
“That’s SEAL school, right?”
“Exactly. I had all kinds of notions about how I was going to be the one carrying your ass over the finish line and ensuring our success.”
“And…”
“It’s you who is going to make us succeed. It’s you who has the strength to make sure we never ring the bell.”
“There’s a bell?”
“If a squid decides he doesn’t want to continue BUD/S all he had to do is ring the bell in the grinder three times and take off his helmet. I never for a second thought of that as a possibility when I was there.”
“So, does that mean you were thinking of quitting me after I told you to leave?”
“No. I just didn’t know how to move forward and that freaked me out so badly that I didn’t do anything. I was a fucking lieutenant commander in the Navy and I never stopped, never quit, never considered failure as an option.”
“But with me, you did?”
“No!”
Moving off his lap, she took his hand. “Explain it to me so that I can understand.”
“The not knowing was paralyzing to me and I didn’t understand how to deal with it. If I’m put in a gunfight with twenty Tangos, I absolutely know what to do and will be successful.” Shrugging, he ran his finger over her skin. “You are my kryptonite and I’m powerless. I had no idea what to do and it was challenging for me to deal with that reality.”
Stazi looked down at their joined hands and thought about what her mama and papa had said to her. She understood what Hank was trying to tell her. The person you loved could make you feel powerless, and if that wasn’t something you were used to, it could throw you off course. While the idea that she would throw Hank anywhere was inconceivable, she knew it was possible because he absolutely had the power to do it to her. “So, now what do we do?”
“Whatever you want, Staz.”
“That’s not an ingredient for a successful relationship. You told me in Italy that you wanted to create a mosaic that holds our old selves as well as the hybrid of who we’ve become. Let’s do that and not become some weird version of us trying to be perfect for one another.”
“I’ll try, but I have to tell you that I’m not interested in you ever telling me to leave again, so I’m going to err on the side of doing what you want.”
“That’s not going to work because then you’ll just become resentful. I fell in love with you and your bossy ways, so don’t give me some fake version of that.”
“You say that, but I’m not sure if I believe you.”
“Try me and find out.”
“Maybe I should show you since I’m a man of action.”
“I guess that would be a good idea.” Without a second passing, Hank stood with her in his arms and headed for the stairs. “I missed you, Hank.”
“I couldn’t breathe without you, so get ready for some serious makeup sex.”
Throwing her head back, she let out a dramatic sigh. “Dreams do come true.”
“You have no idea, Staz.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Hank let go of the relief he’d been overwhelmed with since he walked through the door and allowed desire to replace it. He’d been ready to do anything to get Stazi back in his life and the fact that she’d done it herself was still mind-boggling.
His beautiful Russian doll was the warrior in the family and he would do well to remember that. All his ideas about himself had been sorely tested over the last several weeks and he discovered that the place he was the weakest was where she was the strongest. Which, as far as teammates went, was ideal.
Still…
He should’ve been the one to bring her back.
Kissing her head, he decided that all that mattered was that she was in his arms and loved him. His evolution as a human being needed to happen, and accepting that the woman in his life was strong, was as good a place to start as any.
Her bravery was just another thing he loved about her and he was going to count himself lucky that he was going to be the bastard to marry her.
He walked into the bedroom and set her down gently on her feet. “You’re my home, Stazi.”
“And you’re mine.” Moving her hand under his shirt, she let her fingers graze across his skin. “We have some lost time to make up for.”
“We sure as fuck do.” He grabbed the bottom of her dress with both hands and pulled it up, letting his fingernails scrape across her skin. “I want your naked body pressed against mine for the next forty-eight hours.”
“Will you let me up for food?”
“Maybe.” Flipping her dress over her head, he felt a satisfied smile light up his face as he appreciated what was his. “God, I missed you.” He lifted her up and set her on the bed and then tore her lace panties none too gently off her. Kneeling before her, he spread her legs.
“Hank,” she said quietly as her hands threaded through his hair.
Hearing her gasp as he dragged his tongue over her slit and deep into her folds gave him a level of satisfaction he couldn’t describe. She tasted like his and he wanted to swallow every drop as her clit throbbed against his mouth and her hips bucked against the bed. He grabbed her thighs, forcing them wider, and then pushed her hips back as he growled. Her orgasms were his responsibility and he was about to give her the first of many.
“Oh, Hank, it’s so good…I forgot.”
Lifting his head, he gave her a wink. “Let me remind you.” He pressed his mouth against her pulsing wet pussy and heard her moans bounce off the walls. Digging his tongue in deeper, he pressed his thumbs into her sensitive flesh as his dick pressed against the zipper of his pants. He knew that he could bring her to climax with just his mouth, and that satisfied him because the connection between them was not only emotional and intellectual but also, intensely physical.
Her hands tightened in his hair as her name fell from her lips and she began to shudder. Slowly, he licked up to her clit, soothing her pulsing sex as she came down from her orgasm. “Does that help you remember?” he asked as he stood and got rid of his clothes.
“God, yes. You’re so good at that.”
“I have other things that I’m good at as well.”
Leaning up on her elbows, she gave h
im a naughty smile. “Other things?”
Seeing the desire in her eyes made him realize it would never be enough. “Dirty things.” He fisted his cock and gave her a smile. “I guess it’s time to remind you.”
Climbing onto the bed, he dipped his head to kiss her. “I love you, Staz.”
“I love you too.” Her legs fell open and she sighed.
Feeling like his heart was going to burst, he watched her eyes flutter as he began to push into her. Once he filled her to the hilt, he felt himself become whole. This was the place he belonged in the world above all others. He dipped his head and licked the hollow just above her collarbone. “Perfect,” he muttered as her tightness pressed all around him, sending shooting sensations through every limb.
Whatever he’d done to deserve a woman like this was a mystery and he would make sure to show her every day how fortunate he felt. He slowly dragged himself out and took a long breath in, so he could make it last for longer than five seconds. “Ready?”
“Yes.”
As he pressed his cock in again, coated in her wetness, she cried out, and he prayed he could always make her feel this good. His skin slid against hers and their sweat mixed together, making them one as he picked up the pace. Unable to hold back, she dug her fingernails into his shoulders as her body stilled. She was close and seeing what he could do to her always pushed him over the edge. Her back arched up and he thrust in again, gasping as he filled her, their climaxes perfectly in sync.
“Never forget how I make you feel,” he gasped into her ear. “You’re mine and always will be.”
Her small hand patted his shoulder and he looked down to see a smile. “Nod if you agree,” he said. Watching her head move back and forth made him laugh. “Have I taken all your words, Staz?”
“Almost,” she replied quietly.
He pressed their mouths together and then gathered her in his arms and rolled over. “Rest and we’ll do it again.”
Once he’d pulled up the sheet, he looked down and saw Stazi’s hand covering his heart. “I’m always going to love you,” he said. Hearing her even breathing, he knew she was asleep and decided he could sleep as well. He was dead tired and the last two weeks of no sleep had finally caught up with him. Closing his eyes, he tightened his hold and thought about how soon he could get her to marry him.
Shouldn’t be that hard…right?
***
Rolling over, Hank moved his arm and realized something was missing. Opening his eyes, he saw that the bed was empty. She wouldn’t have left, would she?
The moonlight coming from the window illuminated the room enough so that when he sat up and looked around he could see her clothes were still piled on the floor. Sagging back in relief, he took a deep breath.
“Fuck,” he said quietly.
“What did you say?” Stazi asked as she walked into the room with two glasses of water.
“Nothing.” She handed him a glass. “Thanks.”
“I turned off the lights downstairs.”
After he drank down his glass of water, he sat up. “Honey, that’s my job.”
“I gave you the night off since I needed something to drink.”
Lifting the sheets, he motioned for her to join him. “Get back in here so I can ravage you again.”
“Maybe you’ll be the one ravaged.”
Once she was settled against him, he embraced her and then kissed her head. “Feel free.”
When she didn’t respond, he leaned forward and looked at her face. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. It’s just that I was wondering what our lives are going to be like now that we don’t have any Russian mobsters after us or Ukrainian oligarchs interested.”
“Blessedly normal,” he responded. “We’re going to become just like any boring couple.”
“What exactly does that look like?”
He leaned back and ran his hands up and down her arm. “I know what I want that to look like, but I think you should tell me what you want first.”
“Why?”
“Because my ideas are probably going to scare the shit out of you.”
“Now you have to tell me.”
“No, Staz, you go first.”
“I guess I’d like to see you most days and…”
“Live together,” he said hopefully. When she didn’t respond right away, he figured that’s not what she had in mind. “We’ve already done it and know we can do it successfully, so whenever you’re ready, that’s what I’d like.”
“I thought we would date for a while and then maybe end up there eventually.”
“I hate the word date because it makes me feel like it’s some kind of testing period while you decide if you want to be together or not.”
Stazi moved away and then sat up. “Dating is not a testing period. Dating is planning things to do with the person you love and seeing what you like to do together. Dating is a chance to be on good behavior and show the person who has your heart that you believe they are worth your best effort. Dating is about keeping the spark alive and not falling into some boring routine where we sit on the couch and watch Netflix and never speak. Dating is exciting.”
“Oh…then let’s date while we live together.”
“Arggggh.”
“Come on, Stazi, we can do both.”
Holding up her hands, she let out a breath. “Let’s date for the rest of the summer and then in the fall discuss moving in together.”
“I’m going to agree with whatever you say because I’m not taking a chance on losing you again.”
“Hank, you’re not going to lose me.” She scooted closer and took his hands. “Please know that I’m never going to let you go because I love you. Feel confident that there is nothing you can do that is ever going to make that stop, so just tell me what you feel and we can work it out.”
“Okay, Staz, here you go…I want to marry you as soon as I can and then I want us to start a family. We can live here in the city if you want or move out to one of the suburbs. I want to wake up every day with your face as the first one I see and then end my day with you in my arms. You are my person and I am yours. Whatever door we come to, we will open together.”
He watched tears run down her face and he prayed that it was a good sign. He’d told her everything he wanted and if there was a God, she would think at least some part of it was a good idea. “I knew from the moment we met that it was going to be you, so this feels right.”
Before he could say another word, she crawled into his lap, twined herself around him, and held tightly. “I love you, Staz, and I don’t want to be apart.”
“I love you too, Hank, and I like your ideas. You just have to give me a while to get used to them.”
“If I know that you’re on board with the plan, then the timing can be totally up to you. I just need to be sure of you and know that you will always be mine.”
“I’m always yours.”
“That’s all I want in the world.”
“Don’t think that you’re going to get out of dating, though. We’re still going to do that.”
“Now that I know what it is, I’m totally on board. What do you want to do first? A fancy dinner? Dancing? A night at the opera?”
Feeling her laughter against his chest let him know that they were going to be all right. “You tell me and I’ll come up with a TAC plan.”
“Dating is not an operation. It’s supposed to be fun.”
“TAC plans and operations are fun, honey.”
“Okay, but I was thinking we could go to a baseball game and maybe go sailing. I’ve never been and I would love to go. Since you’re a sailor, I figure you wouldn’t mind.”
“Hell, yeah. I’d love to do both of those things. I can borrow a keelboat from a friend and take you out next weekend. If it’s something you like, then we can get one of our own and do it as often as you like.”
“I was just thinking the one time, but we can see how it goes.”
“What else?”
Now that he understood what she wanted to do, his mind was reeling with possibilities. “You played tennis in high school. Maybe we could try that and see if it can become our couple sport.”
“Sure, why not? I’m a little rusty, but I’d love to get out there and hit some balls.”
“Right now, I have a list of twenty things we can do, and I can’t wait to get started. I’m going to date the hell out of you, Staz. In fact, we’re going to become the best dating couple in all the city.”
Unwinding herself, she leaned up. “Hank, it’s not a competition and there are no gold medals offered for number of dates completed.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we’re not totally going to excel at this. Once you give me a goal, I like to smash the shit out of it and, honey, you gave me a damn goal so get ready.”
Falling back, she let out a laugh. “I’ve unleashed the beast. What am I going to do?”
Hank moved over her and grinned. “Enjoy it because I’m going to love you until my last breath.” She pulled him down and wrapped her arms around him tightly. “I’m going to make you as happy as I can.”
“You already have, Hank. All I need is to have my arms around you and I’m as happy as I can be.”
“You make my whole world stop, Staz, and I’m so fucking happy that you’re the woman I get to spend the rest of my life with.” Burying his face in her hair, he filled his lungs with her scent and knew they had thousands of happy days ahead of them.
EPILOGUE
One year later…
Hank looked out the window and noticed the London weather was consistent and the street was laden with fog. Buckingham Palace was across the way and he couldn’t see it and decided he didn’t much care. After pouring a glass of wine, he walked into the bathroom and saw his wife buried under bubbles. “Staz, I brought you something to drink.”
“Thank you, honey.”
She looked up and gave him a smile that never failed to make his heart skip a beat. The last year had been amazing and he counted himself lucky that she had married him on Valentine’s Day. He sat on the commode and handed her the glass of wine. “Are you watching TV?”
