Moonlight & Whiskey

by Tricia Lynne

  His grin spread slowly as he ripped into the famous guitar solo and Matt picked up the beat. Shaun stood, arms crossed over his chest, smiling at the three of us while Declan glared at Kat from under his brows.

  “Damn he’s hot, Avery.” She tipped her chin toward Declan. “He’s got that whole broody badass act down pat.”

  “Hmm. Says the chick whose banging that.” I nodded at Jamie, who caught my eyes on him, and winked.

  “Huh, Declan is no act, girl,” Sadie interjected.

  “So, how long have you and Shaun been married?” If there had been a Sadie and Declan, I didn’t want to know.

  “Three years, September. I used to be the head bartender here.” She shrugged. “What can I say? Big Samoans do it for me.”

  “Hang ten, girl,” I jested.

  “Yeah, that’s probably close. Though I’ve never taken a tape measure to it.” Her grin was pure mischief as we eyed the big man’s junk and giggled. That brought his eyes around with an amused shake of his head.

  “But you’re so tiny,” I said, and her mouth quirked up. “I can’t even….” Shaun was a giant of a man, a solid wall of muscle and strength. He wasn’t so much good-looking as he was appealing—his protector vibe was strong. You just knew he could keep you safe and give you big strong Samoan babies. With the tribal tattoos and his mass of dark dreads? He didn’t look like someone you wanted to piss off.

  “Never waste a dirty mind or a dirty mouth,” Sadie returned.

  “You don’t work here anymore?”

  “Quit when I was pregnant. The smell of the liquor.” She waved a hand under her nose. “It would make me throw up. Vomit on the bar is not good for tips. I speak from experience. After Jack was born, I figured one of us should work in the daylight for the kid’s sake. I’m a stylist now.

  “Declan, though.” She nodded at the stage. “He’s a good man. He gave me a job when I was flat broke and needed one, and I didn’t know dick about tending bar. But let me tell you this, lover…” She looked pointedly at me. “He’s no act. If you’re gonna tangle with that man, in or out of bed makes no difference, somebody’s gonna get hurt.”

  “Firsthand experience?” Kat asked, not at all slyly.

  “No. Declan and I are friends, never more. He doesn’t shit where he eats. Besides, he’s like a brother. A sexy, tatted-up, badass of a big brother.” She glanced up to the stage. “But I’m immune.”

  Kat and I both grinned, stared her down.

  “All right, no woman is immune, but he’s strictly eye candy. I never had the desire to be part of his trail of broken hearts.” Her eyes wandered over to Shaun and warmed.

  “We’ve got a short set Saturday night so we’re gonna do original stuff,” Declan cut in. “Let us know what you think.” He turned his back to us. With a nod, Matt counted it off and they ripped into the first song.

  I listened to the heavy bass lines, the intricate guitar solos, the complex rhythms, and Declan’s powerful vocal. I tried to be critical, but BlackSmith’s music was radio-worthy. Every bit as good as the big-named hard rock and metal bands that graced these walls.

  Jamie was friggin’ amazing. His fingers flew over the fretboard with unholy precision that made me wonder if the devil hadn’t paid him a visit. Talent like his came from only one of two entities, but there was no devil in the details when he played. His gift came from somewhere considerably higher up and was honed with his own blood and sweat. He was every bit the prodigy of his musician parents, and his intensity only amplified his beauty. He looked like an avenging angel. His guitar, his weapon of choice, his strength and concentration, his battle armor. If BlackSmith had ever hit it big, Jamie would’ve been the wet dream of millions of screaming fans.

  Shaun didn’t fit in onstage any better than Matt did, but you didn’t see that until they played. It wasn’t his looks, but his expression and demeanor. Shaun stood still, except for his head and hands. He didn’t look lost and dark like the music suggested. Instead, a lightness surrounded him that was out of place. He loved to play music and he would play any type he could. If someone told him he could play One Direction and Muzak only, it wouldn’t have mattered. Music soothed his soul.

  Matthias was lost in the beat. No one existed, save his bandmates, and even they were questionable. His face was a mask of intensity as he pounded away with sweat sliding down his face. Each time Declan or Jamie stopped to make adjustments, I could see Matt get angry at having to claw his way up from the inky depths he went to when he banged it out. This type of rehearsal was a special kind of torture—trying to slip in and out of his dark rabbit hole in the middle of every song. He would no sooner sink into the liquid black abyss when he’d have to kick for the surface again.

  Declan was their ring master. The epitome of hard rock front man with menacing beauty and predator-like grace. You felt stalked when Declan roamed the stage, but that wasn’t what drew you in—what did that was his tortured voice. Whatever Declan sang, he did it body and soul. He put his heart into every long, drawn-out note and earsplitting roar. Declan felt music in the deepest part of his soul. It was evident in the rasp that prickled my skin, the tense set of his jaw, and the bunched muscles that never quite relaxed. The only gentleness was in his hands on his ESP.

  He hid his eyes onstage, too, never really focusing on anyone. Afraid of what was discernible there? All that raw emotion he couldn’t keep from fighting to the surface—anger, pain, sorrow, pleasure, even mischief—in song after song. Declan’s eyes made him vulnerable. Like the night before in the cemetery, and later, naked under the warm spray. I understood how hard it had been for him to be that exposed, and he did it anyway, for me. With eyes that gave everything away. That was the man I fought so hard to hold at a distance and damn if I hadn’t failed in extraordinary fashion.

  On the last song—one about the push and pull for control—Declan met my eyes, letting me see what no one else got to, and I knew without a doubt I was falling hard for Declan McGinn. It would be excruciating when I finally landed and it sure as hell wouldn’t be on my feet.

  As the band wrapped up, Declan and Jamie made notes while Kat and Sadie hooted and whistled, holding their cellphones in the air in place of the outdated Bic. Sadie’s warning echoed in my head, and all at once, I was terrified. More afraid of the consequences of falling for Declan than of anything I’d run up against in my life—the dread of failure, the panic of being judged, even the idea that I’d never measure up—none of them compared to the cold realization lumped behind my breastbone.

  “Now that shit’s done we can take a couple requests.” Jamie’s voice cut through and I plastered an empty smile on my face. “Something tells me you three have something in mind.”

  “Freebird!” Kat and Sadie yelled, collapsing in a fit of giggles.

  “No,” Declan countered without looking up from his set list in that tone no one argued with.

  I didn’t yell my request. I’m surprised he heard it at all. I wish I could have stopped myself but it passed my lips before I had a chance to think, like some cosmic puppet master was pulling on my marionette strings. I half whispered, half croaked, trying to swallow back the lump crawling up my throat.

  “ ‘Broken,’ Declan…I want you to play ‘Broken.’ ”

  Chapter 20

  Declan’s head drew up, a pained shadow falling over his face, but when he looked at me, and those emerald eyes burned with tangled emotions, he let me see them all.

  “Seether, Jamie. The Amy Lee version. Get the Martin. We’ll do it acoustic,” he said, without looking away from me.

  What the hell had I done? I shoved the question in a box, in an already full corner of my brain labeled “epic fuckups.”

  Declan drew up straight dropping his pen on the paper before he sauntered to center stage and rolled the mic stand to the side. “Come on, then, sweetness. I’m not doing it
alone.” He smirked, one hand on his hip, the other running over his head.

  You could hear a pin drop as I got to my feet, but I couldn’t look away from Declan to spare anyone else a glance. This was for us. I didn’t care what anyone else thought, that they bared witness, or what they said after. Didn’t even care if I sounded like shit. I had no more fucks to give about what anyone else thought.

  Only Declan mattered.

  I stood across from him at center stage, never looking at the rest of the band. When Declan turned his back to tell Jamie something, a moment of pure terror curled around my spine, icy fingers squeezing the air from my lungs as panic started to choke me.

  Then he was there, taking my chin between his fingers and a full smile swept over his face. “Eyes on me.” That smile…It was all worthwhile. “I’m gonna give you such good…accent later.”

  The last of my terror dissipated as quickly as it came, replaced with a laugh and a blooming warmth that washed through me.

  He gave a quick nod and Jamie played the opening chords on an acoustic guitar. “Great shoes, by the way.” He winked. “My favorite I think.”

  Declan eased into the first verse with a tenderness and depth I hadn’t heard from him in any other song, and I was lost to him, the rest of the world burning away.

  He sang just for me, about my laugh and the ache he never meant to cause, never wanted to feel. How he longed to take it away. About how hard it was, knowing he had to let me go. I believed every word as his eyes held fast to mine, ingrained the rawness of his emotions. The affection and resignation, helplessness and wonder. All there to see. To hear. And I relished every moment of his voice lapping over me, his eyes grounding me, ocean to moon. The laws of gravity.

  Without hesitation, I came in on the chorus, harmonizing as if we’d done it all our lives. As his voice built, so did mine. When he softened, so did I. Our voices weaved together in a seamless union. It seemed we fit here, too.

  I sang the second verse, Amy’s part, in my full voice. The voice that no one had ever heard but me, and I poured my heart and soul into every word. Declan’s eyes lit with surprise, his emotion and amazement, shining naked and pure.

  I needed to tell him how weak I’d felt before him. That he made me feel strong, unafraid, and my life would never be the same for it. I wanted him to hear how painful it would be to let go. How hollow I would feel long after I was gone. That he knew the real me, even when I hadn’t, and I wasn’t sure how to be strong without him.

  Declan stroked my arm, giving me his strength—strength I didn’t deserve—with haunting sorrow behind eyes so conflicted with revelations. His light and dark, at it again, as I left my still-beating heart on that stage for him.

  As Declan sang through the last line, which was his alone, about leaving him behind and how he’d hate the hole it left in him, his eyes finally broke from mine. He glanced down as he took my hand and laced our fingers, then brought them to his lips, fixing his gaze to mine again as Jamie’s guitar faded away.

  The enormity of it waylaid me.

  For the first time, I knew the possibility of love, loss, and heartbreak…all in the space of one song.

  Long after the guitar was quiet, Declan tore his eyes away and once again other people existed in the universe. I blinked, glancing around the room. Everyone had gone utterly still, a mixture of shock and awe covering their faces.

  Kat stood against the edge of the stage with Sadie, eyes wide and glassy. Sadie had looped one hand through Kat’s arm and wiped at the damp below her eyes with the other. Shaun beamed, winking at me over Declan’s shoulder. Matthias looked unaffected, but when I caught his glance by accident, his eyebrows drew tight together as he looked away.

  “Holy shit,” Jamie muttered. “Avery, that’s one hell of a voice.”

  I didn’t think it was my voice that had everybody in awe. “Uh, thanks,” I said, in near whisper. “I mean, I don’t sing. Not in front of anyone.”

  “Uh, yes, you do. And you’ve got a voice, girl,” Sadie chimed in. “Don’t take this the wrong way, because you’re good, but the two of you…” She shook her head. “That was powerful. Declan—”

  Declan cleared his throat, cutting her off. “Yeah. That was amazing.” He caught my chin between his fingers. “You, are amazing.”

  “You should put that in the lineup,” Kat chided. “Avery, I had no idea.” I caught the hint of disappointment in her voice. There was something about me she hadn’t known.

  Shaun clapped a hand on Declan’s shoulder and squeezed. With a rolling laugh that rumbled like thunder, he eased most of the tension away. “Yeah, brother. I feel you. That was powerful, all right.” He looked back and forth between us, laughed again. Finally, even Mattie grinned over his kit, his curls bouncing as he shook his head in disbelief.

  “No,” Declan ground out. “That’s not going in the lineup. That was just for us.”

  * * *

  —

  I wandered offstage and the guys sauntered over to the bar while Sadie and Kat fawned over me.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you could sing?” Kat prodded.

  “I’ve never really thought about it. I mean, I sing when nobody’s around, at home while I clean, belt it out in the car. I’m okay, but you guys are being nice.”

  “Uh, nooo. I’m not.”

  “Avery,” Sadie said, just above a whisper as her eyes flitted to the bar. “You’re good, but you and him together?” She shook out her black bangs. “I know Declan. He keeps things light and easy with women. And that was anything but light and easy.” Her look morphed from surprised to skeptical.

  “The way you two looked at each other,” Kat gushed. “The rest of us weren’t even here.”

  Sadie nodded. “What’s going on between you two besides sex?” She narrowed her eyes as Jamie and Shaun pulled away from the bar and walked toward us.

  I looked at my shoes. “I wish I knew.”

  Jamie threw an arm over my shoulders, kissing me on the cheek with a ridiculous smack. “That was fantastic, sweet cheeks. You know, if that engineering gig falls through, we could always use you up front. Declan’s getting old, and he’s ugly.”

  Jamie was always good for levity.

  Shaun wrapped his wife in a meaty arm and sent me a knowing smile. They were all being kind. It was obvious that I hadn’t sounded bad, but the real revelation was the depth of feelings Declan and I had. Nobody saw that coming. Me included. As they talked, they faded into background noise. My eyes were drawn to Declan sitting at the bar with Matt behind it.

  Thick as thieves those two.

  God, what had I done? Putting it out there in front of everybody like that? I’d acted with my heart and not my head. It was obvious, though, I wasn’t alone in my feelings. Declan’s were just under the surface, too.

  Jamie’s arm tightened around my neck. “She’s not listening to us, guys. I need a shower. Kat, you wanna come make sure I get clean?” He waggled his brows. Only Jamie could make a brow waggle sexy.

  “You will never come clean, baby.” Kat patted his chest. “But I like that about you. You go ahead. I’ll be there in a minute.” Jamie wandered past, swatting her ass.

  “We gotta take off. Jack is with Sadie’s mama and that’s never good. She’ll teach that boy voodoo if she gets her way. But Avery, you took my advice and ran with it, yeah?”

  I nodded, hid my small grin, and Shaun’s answering laugh reverberated through the room.

  “I’m glad I came today.” Sadie looked fondly at Kat. The look she shot me was slightly cooler. “You two will be at the concert, right?”

  Kat looped her arm through mine, making it clear where she stood. “Yeah, we’ll see you there.”

  “I’ll save you seats in the box.” She gave us both a quick hug.

  Shaun leaned in, whispered, “Don’t pay her no mind,
sis. She gets overprotective. We’ll see you Saturday night.” With a wave at the bar, they left.

  “You okay, sweetie?” Kat nudged my arm.

  “Yeah.” I wasn’t ready to talk yet. “Go wash your dirty monkey boy. I’ll be here.”

  “I’m not sure I should leave you alone with those two.” She threw a wary look at the bar.

  “I’m a big girl, Katia. I can handle my business. Go give Jamie a spankin’ from me.”

  “I won’t be long. He’s not getting a spankin’, or a bath. Not in the back of a bar. A girl’s got to have standards.”

  “You never did tell me how you got those scratches on your shoulders, Kitty,” I yelled after her.

  She flipped me off without looking back, then evil-eyed Declan and Matt as she disappeared around the corner. Declan winked at her in return.

  “I got two fingers with your name on ’em, cher,” Matt called from behind the bar.

  I knew he meant whiskey, but damn. That was too easy to pass up. And given the recent eye-opener, I thought a light and sweet flirt might do me some good.

  I sauntered over, eyeing Matthias, though both men watched me. I put my arms on the bar under my breasts and closed the distance to Matt.

  “Hmm. If that’s all you’ve got for me, Mattie, maybe you should go troll the high school for teenage girls to fawn over your dick, because two fingers? Not gonna cut it, baby cakes.” I winked and shot back the glass.

  Declan laughed long and low, sending a shiver dancing down my spine.

  “Guess I walked into that,” Matt followed with a sly grin.

  “Don’t make it so easy next time.” I batted my lashes.

  “Oh, I got something for ya, cher. Something that’ll make you beg for just two fingers.” His damp curls stuck to his forehead and he had slipped his T-shirt back on.

  I did my best sexy pout, looked up from under my lashes, and I purred, “Matthias?”