400 First Kisses

by E. L. Todd

  “Bree told you that?”

  “Well, Cypress and Blade did.”

  “So they knew the whole time?” he asked in surprise.

  “Yeah…I made them promise not to tell you.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck and released a quiet sigh. “Honestly, I had no idea you felt this way. If I’d known…”

  That was a rejection—plain and simple. “We’re both adults here. We can move on from this.”

  “I did have a crush on you in high school. Well, it was more than a crush. When you started seeing Evan, I was pretty sad about it. Then when you married him, I moved on and said goodbye to that possibility. Since then, I haven’t really seen you like that. I started to see you as just a friend.”

  I nodded, taking the rejection in stride. “I understand, Ace. You don’t need to say any more.”

  “I’m not gonna lie. That kiss…was pretty damn good. The sex was even better. It’s something I won’t forget about. It’s something I’ll probably jerk off to.”

  Heat flushed up my neck and made me feel warm everywhere. The idea of him beating himself off got me so hot and bothered. I swallowed the lump in my throat and pretended to be unaffected by it.

  “But I’m not looking for anything serious right now. And I love Rose and Lily, but I’m just not in the place to be a stepfather—”

  “Ace, I’ve never asked you to be. You’re making a lot of assumptions about stuff way into the future. That’s not at all what I’m thinking right now. I just know I like you, and I wanted to be with you. That’s it.”

  “Okay. I just wanted to be straight with you so there would be no confusion between us.”

  I smiled. “No confusion.” But I was dead inside. I should have been with Ace when I had the chance, but I’d picked a jerk instead. I was a single mom with two kids, and that’s exactly how he saw me. “I’m glad we could work this out.”

  “Yeah, me too. And again, I’m sorry. You mean a lot to me. I would hate to lose you over something I didn’t mean to do.”

  “You could never lose me, Ace.” I rose to my feet and walked up to him. I kept space between us, doing my best not to touch him. Normally, when I was down like this, I would turn to him for comfort. I would tell him everything that happened and struggled with how much it hurt to get turned down. But I couldn’t do that with him on this occasion.

  He finally smiled. “Good. Because I’d be pretty devastated if you walked away.” His hands circled my waist, and he held me against his strong chest. He felt incredible, warm and masculine. My arms automatically hugged him back, and I didn’t want to pull away. I felt the chemical attraction, the undeniable pull. Did he have great sex like that all the time? I wasn’t so lucky.

  I cleared my throat and pulled back, having gotten too comfortable in the embrace.

  When he looked down at me, his expression was different from just a second ago. That handsome smile was gone, replaced by the masculine intensity I remembered seeing when he was on top of me. He glanced at my lips but then quickly looked away, pretending he hadn’t stared at them to begin with. His hands slowly slid down my arms, and he released a quiet breath as he stepped back. “Can I walk you home?”

  “Yeah, sure.” I didn’t need to be walked home, but I was so weak that I just agreed. Anytime we touched, I felt the electrical energy travel through me quicker than lightning struck the ground.

  We left the office together and walked to my house a few streets over. We didn’t say anything because everything important had already been said. It would be awkward for the next few interactions we had, but after that, it would go back to normal. The gang would want to talk about it too, but the news would blow over.

  We arrived at my house, and he walked me to the door. “Good night.”

  “Good night.” I was just going to walk inside, but he hugged me instead. He pulled me into his chest again and squeezed me tightly.

  Two hugs in a row. Must be my lucky day.

  “Call me if you need anything.”

  “Okay.”

  His arms slid from around my body, and he stepped back. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Alright. See you tomorrow.” I watched him walk away, his shoulders looking powerful in his t-shirt. I could stare at the way his muscles shifted all day, but I knew I shouldn’t look at him that way anymore.

  I needed to get over him and move on.

  Cypress walked into the office with two cups of coffee. “Morning.” He set one on my desk before he took a seat.

  “Thanks. Where’s Bree?”

  “The café.” He sat back in the chair and put his feet on the desk. “So, you want to talk about last night?”

  “I don’t know. Not much to say.”

  “Ace said he was going to talk to you.” He couldn’t speak without sounding angry. His pretty eyes weren’t so kind anymore. Now they were just aggressive. “Did he?”

  “Yeah. We talked, and he walked me home.”

  “And what did he say?”

  “He apologized even though it wasn’t really his fault—”

  “Yes, it was his fault.”

  “Not really. I didn’t give him a good impression. I just kissed him without any explanation of what I was thinking. He’s a man. Of course, he thought it was a hookup.”

  “You’re his friend and business partner. He should have thought it through.”

  Cypress was more upset about it than I was, but that didn’t surprise me. Once Evan and Bree were gone, he’d stepped in and became a father figure to the girls, a partner I could rely on, and an uncle all at the same time. “Give him a break, Cypress.”

  “I’m too mad to cut him any slack right now.”

  I’m sure Cypress would get over it—in time.

  “What happened?”

  “I told him I wanted something more serious, and he said he wasn’t looking for that. So we’re just going to be friends.”

  “I’m sorry, Amelia.” He looked remorseful even though it wasn’t his fault.

  “I know. But that was the reaction I was expecting. Most people our age aren’t looking to have kids in the mix.”

  “That’s not true. You’ll find a guy who loves your kids as much as you do. Don’t worry about it. Ace is just young, you know. He’s looking to fuck and drink, and that’s about it.”

  “I know. And that’s fine. I don’t judge him for it.”

  “I don’t either. But I judge him for taking advantage of you.”

  “He wasn’t taking advantage of me,” I corrected. “I put the moves on him, remember?”

  “That idiot isn’t an idiot. He knew what he was doing.”

  I smiled because that didn’t add up.

  “You know what I mean.” He drank from his cup then licked his lips.

  “Life goes on, and I’ll be fine. It’s not like I was in love with him.”

  Cypress took another sip. “You weren’t?”

  “No. But the idea of us being together made me happy. You know, having what you and Bree have.”

  He scoffed. “In case you haven’t noticed, we don’t have much right now.”

  “You’ll get there, Cypress. You got her back once before. You can do it again.”

  “I don’t know. She seems more stubborn this time, if you can believe it.”

  “Oh, I can,” I said with a laugh. “I’ve known that brat for a long time. But if you put on the charm and prove you’re different, she’ll come around. She’s not one to hold a grudge.”

  “She’s definitely holding a grudge right now.”

  “But it’s different, and you know it. Think about it. In her mind, the cheating just took place. Of course, she’s angry. Of course, she doesn’t feel anything for you. You’re gonna have to convince her to fall in love with you again. It’s not gonna be easy, but you already knew that. But if you don’t give up, you should get there.”

  “I asked her not to divorce me for seven months. She agreed.”

  “See? Progress.”
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  “But she wasn’t happy about it. The only reason why she’s giving me any kind of opportunity is because I took care of her and you for the past few years. She feels like she owes me something.”

  “Or maybe she just thinks it’s sweet. She’s not a robot. She does have feelings.”

  His eyes shifted to the window, and he rubbed his fingers across his chin. “I know she does.”

  “I say you have a good chance, Cypress. Don’t give up.”

  “I just wish we could do it differently.”

  “How?”

  “Like, have us living together again. Sleeping together again. Have her learn about our marriage. And then when she gets used to it, we’ll be back to normal.”

  “Cypress, that would never work.” I thought he was an extremely intelligent man, but that idea was just dumb. “She’s not in love with you. That’s the problem. You’ve got to change that. Once you do, I’m sure she would do all of that.”

  “Yeah, I suppose.”

  “You could always try marriage counseling. Couples do that.” When I found out Evan was leaving me, I’d suggested it. I was desperate to keep my marriage together for my girls…and because I still loved him.

  “Yeah…I guess I could suggest it. Not sure if she would go for it, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.”

  “Nope.”

  “Or…” He turned back to me. “Her older sister that she looks up to could just tell her to be with me.” He grinned.

  “I’ll help you in any way that I can, but I’m not doing that.”

  “Come on, why not?”

  “I’m not going to pressure her to do anything. She needs to decide on her own.”

  “You wouldn’t be pressuring her, just guiding her.”

  “I still don’t want to influence her. This is her life, not mine. I already tell her all the amazing things about you because they’re all true. But I’m not gonna tell her that she needs to be with you and it would be a mistake to let you go. She’s gotta figure that out on her own.”

  He drank his coffee again, his eyes heavy with sadness. We sat in mutual silence, him drinking his coffee and me working on a few things before the diner opened. Ace walked inside a moment later in jeans and a sweater.

  Even in a sweater, he looked hot.

  “What’s up?” He walked to his desk.

  “Hey,” I said, being as normal as possible.

  Cypress stared him down coldly and sipped his coffee.

  The tension rose.

  Ace took a seat and ignored Cypress’s palpable hostility.

  I tried to smooth things over. “Are you working tonight?”

  “Yeah,” Ace answered.

  “You need to take a day off sometime.”

  “I know,” Ace said with a chuckle. “I do enjoy it, though. Keeps the workers on top of their game as well.”

  “Well, Bree and I could always rotate in if you need a break.”

  “Thanks,” Ace said. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  Cypress wouldn’t stop staring at Ace, continuing to sip his coffee with imminent threat in his eyes.

  Ace finally looked at him straight on. “Yes?”

  “Don’t come in here acting all normal and shit,” Cypress snapped. “You’re a fucking asshole, and you know it.”

  Whoa, that got ugly quick. “Cypress—”

  Ace cut me off. “Amelia and I are fine, if you didn’t notice. We’re both adults, and we’ve been mature about it. We’re still friends like we were before. So you need to calm down.”

  “I don’t need to calm down,” Cypress said. “She’s family to me, and you know that.”

  “She’s family to me too,” Ace snapped. “You know I would never hurt her on purpose.”

  “But you still hurt her, dickhead.” Cypress slammed his coffee down. “You were only thinking with your dick and not the rest of your brain. If you think I’m gonna let this go, you’re an idiot.”

  “Cypress.” I stared at him until he met my look. “I appreciate you being protective, but it’s really okay. Ace and I are fine. We’ve already moved on from it. You’re the only one who hasn’t let it go.”

  Cypress grabbed his coffee again and looked out the window, dismissing the conversation.

  Ace stood up again. “I’m gonna go help Bree with the café. I should be welcome there.”

  “Don’t count on it,” Cypress said under his breath.

  Ace walked out.

  “Cypress,” I said with a sigh. “You’re making it into a bigger deal than it needs to be.”

  “You’ve had feelings for him for six months,” he countered. “It’s not like you just thought he was cute. You have an emotional attraction to this guy. No, it’s not okay.”

  “Well, he doesn’t know that. I really downplayed how I felt about him so he wouldn’t be uncomfortable. You can’t get mad at him for something he wasn’t aware of. I’m already embarrassed as it is, and you bringing it up is just making it worse. So please stop.”

  Cypress finally dropped his anger when my words sank in. “I apologize.”

  “It’s okay. I know you meant well.”

  “I can’t tolerate it when someone hurts someone I love.”

  How could I be annoyed with him when he said things like that? “I know…”

  18

  Blade

  I needed to bury the hatchet between my two friends before something worse erupted. It would grow until it became uncontrollable, and then it would bite all of us in the ass. When Cypress first came to our group, we gave him hell every single day. I was surprised he lasted so long.

  Ace arrived at Cultura first, grabbed a beer, and then joined me at the table. “What’s up?” He rested both arms on the table then looked at the TV in the corner. The Giants weren’t doing so well this year, to everyone’s dismay.

  “I just ordered fried calamari.”

  “Awesome. But I was craving cheese sticks.”

  I guess he never realized that was just a decoy at the time. “So, how are things with Amelia?”

  “Did you invite me down here just to talk about it?”

  “No…”

  Ace gave me a glare.

  “Okay…yes.”

  “I’m not gonna talk about it. I’m a gentleman, alright?”

  “You told me you fucked Lady in the parking lot of a Taco Bell the other day.”

  “Not the same thing.”

  “And then she sucked you off in the parking lot of a Wendy’s. By the way, what’s with all the fast-food places? Turn you on or something?”

  “We usually get food in the middle of the night when I sleep over, and she lives down the street from those places. But by the time we get there…she’s ready. Maybe she’s turned on by burritos and hamburgers, but I’m certainly not.”

  Still weird.

  “And that’s not the same thing.”

  “It’s not the same thing if she’s not a woman. But I’m pretty sure she is.”

  “But Lady and I aren’t together.” The waiter brought the calamari, and Ace immediately popped a few pieces into his mouth.

  “Were you and Amelia together?” I raised an eyebrow.

  “No, but that’s different. I respect her, alright? I’m not gonna tell you what went down. I’m not gonna tell you what her tits looked like.”

  “Wasn’t asking.” Amelia was pretty. Anyone with eyes would agree with me. But I didn’t see her like that.

  “Then all you need to know is we hooked up. End of story.”

  “And how are you now?”

  “She and I are fine. We went back to being friends right away. She was super understanding about it.”

  “When she stormed out of here, it looked like she was about to cry…so it makes me think she’s not as understanding as you think. Maybe she’s just trying to cover it up because she’s embarrassed.”

  Ace held a piece of calamari between his fingertips briefly before he put it in his mouth. “She did say she wanted more, so she was up
set when she saw me with Lady. But I told her that wasn’t going to happen.”

  “Why not? You used to be head over heels for her.”

  “Like ten years ago.”

  “Whatever. Now you have your shot.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know… I don’t think it would work out.”

  “Because you don’t feel that way about her?”

  “I just don’t see myself being a husband or father, honestly. And that’s exactly what she’s looking for. I don’t have it in me.”

  “What are you talking about?” He was the most responsible guy I knew. “You’re fine, Ace.”

  “I like bouncing from woman to woman. I like not having responsibilities. I like how uncomplicated my life is. If I get together with Amelia, everything will change. I’ll have to be a stepfather.”

  “But you love those kids.”

  “Of course, I do. But I can’t handle the responsibility.”

  There was something he wasn’t telling me, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. Some of his reasons made sense, but at the same time, they didn’t. When we were freshmen in high school, his dad packed his stuff and took off. Ace never saw him again. Maybe that was the reason. “I feel like you aren’t telling me something.”

  He looked at the TV. “I’m not. Just being honest.”

  Cypress walked inside and stilled when he saw Ace sitting at the table.

  I pulled out the chair. “Don’t be a drama queen and sit down.”

  Cypress hesitated before he sank into the chair.

  Ace stared at him with a stoic expression, obviously unsure what to expect.

  “I tricked you both into coming down here so we could get through this,” I said. “We’re all best bros, and we can’t have anything weird between us.”

  “We aren’t best bros,” Cypress said. “Stop calling us that.”

  “Whatever,” I said. “You two need to work this out.”

  “We aren’t women,” Cypress said. “We’re over it.”

  “I distinctly remember you calling me a dickhead this morning,” Ace said before he popped another piece in his mouth.