9781618850638IfOnlyYouKnewBergman

by Unknown

  Oh my God, the bitch was concerned about me, someone call the fucking law!

  “I went to get your cup, and I saw a pill at the bottom of it. I asked him what the hell it was and all he could do was smile and say, ‘how the hell did I know she was going to pass out like that?’ That’s when my fist met his face, and he ended up on the floor. All I could remember was punching his face in with my fist over and over again. Andrew kept trying to get me back, Laura kept screaming, and when the cops and ambulance came, they pulled me off him and arrested him. And from what I heard, Marie told me that he ended up losing his job.”

  I was shocked, not by what that guy did to me that night, but how Richard stood up to that guy for me. I didn’t know that he did all of that for me and this was part of the reason why I loved him so much.

  Chapter Four

  Agnes called to tell me that the book signing for my new book would be at Barnes and Noble a couple of weeks later.

  “Wow, that’s pretty soon, isn’t it?” I told her while doing my nails.

  “Marley, you don’t know how it’s flying off the book shelves. It is simply amazing and the stores can’t keep them on the shelves. But let me ask, sweetheart, how have you been doing?”

  I sighed softly, and I couldn’t get anything by Agnes, she was like my second mom, always looking out for me no matter what. “I’ve been going through another thing with Richard, he’s with this new girl now, and it seems like he is really in love with her. I don’t know why I torture myself with all of this Agnes.”

  “Why don’t you just tell him? You’ve known him for years and you’ve never told him that you really love him.”

  “I will eventually, Agnes, I just have to get enough courage to do so. Besides, you’re like the third person to tell me to just tell him how I feel. So when is the first book signing?”

  “It’s tonight at 6:30, I will have a car come and pick you up around 5:45, is that ok?”

  After I got off the phone with Agnes, I went looking for an outfit for tonight. It was hard because half of what I had, I hadn’t wore in years. This would take a miracle of some sorts to figure this out. I stopped looking after I heard the buzzer go off at the door.

  “Yeah, who is it?” I shouted.

  “It’s me, Richard!”

  I hit the button then unlocked the door as I went back to my closet.

  “Hello, Marley, where are you?” he said, walking in.

  “I’m back in my room, I have a book signing tonight, and I’m trying to find something to wear.” I walked out with two outfits that I knew would look good on me. I laid them on the couch in front of us and stepped back to look at them. “What do you think?”

  He looked at them both, took one and put it up against me, then got the other and did the same. “I like this one; I’ve always liked you in this outfit.”

  “There is going to be a car coming to pick me up at 5:45, do you want to go?”

  “Would I look fine like this? I was coming over to see if you wanted to go to a movie or something?”

  “It’s just a book signing, that’s all. It will probably last for an hour or so then we can grab something or whatever.”

  He smiled and sat down while I went to start my shower.

  After about an hour and a half, I heard Richard say, “It’s getting close to time, are you ready yet?”

  I came out of the bedroom, running my fingers through my hair as I went to get my shoes. When I put them on, I turned to look at him and asked, “So, how do I look?”

  He smiled and took my hand, twirling me around slowly, “Breathtaking, absolutely breathtaking.” He smiled then held me close to him and we found ourselves dancing.

  “I was wondering what you were going to be doing tomorrow, I wanted to take some pictures of you. I haven’t taken any of you in a long time.”

  We swayed to our own song, whatever it was really didn’t matter. I was just happy to have him holding me like this but that all ended when we heard a buzz at my door.

  “Yes?” I asked.

  “I’m here to pick you up, Ms. Rockford,” said the driver. I opened the door and we made our way down.

  Barnes and Noble seemed completely packed with people when we got there. When I got out of the car, everyone was shouting and clapping as I walked inside. I never thought I had this many fans out there, even Richard was impressed. “Go on, Mar, I’ll be over here behind you. Tonight is your night to shine.” He smiled, tapping me on the end of my nose as I walked over to Agnes who immediately gave me a hug.

  “Ladies, I would like to introduce to you a brilliant author whose writings seem to stir so much raw emotion and depth. I am also happy to say that not only is she a wonderful writer but a wonderful friend of mine. Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Ms. Marley Rockford!” She smiled as the group of women clapped and shouted in thunderous applause.

  That night, I must have signed over 300 books and taken more than that in pictures. “I have read every single one of your books, Ms. Rockford, and I’ve enjoyed them immensely. Can I ask you how you come up with such realistic characters?” one lady asked when it came time for the question and answer part.

  “I try and put part of what I want to read in a story myself. I put characters that are a part of my daily life. Whenever I write, it is something that I wish would happen to me as well as things that I know the reader would enjoy wanting to have in their lives.” I smiled as I pointed towards another woman who was raising her hand.

  “Some of my friends were wondering, who is the really hot looking guy you came here with tonight?” She giggled as some of the other women swooned and whistled, while looking Richard’s way.

  I looked over and started to laugh when I saw how red he had gotten so quickly.

  “Oh, this is my best friend, Richard Collins. He came by my place tonight, wanting to take me to the movies, but I brought him here instead.”

  “Can I ask Mr. Collins what he thinks about your writings?” asked another lady.

  Richard walked up to the microphone and said, “I am very proud of Marley and all of her writing accomplishments.” He looked back at me with a wink as the crowd of women applauded.

  “Wow, how is your hand?” Richard asked while we were in the car going back to my apartment.

  “Let’s just say I won’t be signing any books anytime soon.” I laughed as he softly grabbed my hand and began massaging it.

  I laid my head against his shoulder as he rubbed my knuckles. “You have had a long and busy evening, young lady. Why don’t we go to the park for a walk?” he asked.

  We walked through the little park that was near my apartment. It wasn’t big like Central Park, but it was way more private. The iron gas lamps that lit the walkway throughout the park were on and it felt so romantic. We sat on a nearby bench, sharing an Italian ice we bought from a sidewalk vendor.

  “Remember when we first came to this park when I moved to my apartment, we had an Italian ice but we sat at another bench.”

  He nodded as he spooned some of the ice.

  “Remember when we were moving your stuff in and found that big dead sewer rat in the kitchen cabinet?”

  “Oh my God, that was so gross. I nearly screamed my head off when I saw that damn thing staring back at me with his little legs up in the air.”

  We had a good laugh that evening. I didn’t want it to end. Why can't I just tell him how I feel?

  “Well thank you for the ice and for coming to my book signing tonight,” I told him as we made it to my front stoop.

  “Just come by tomorrow when you wake up or whenever, I’ll be at the studio. And I enjoyed myself, I’m very proud of you, Mar, you’ve come a long way with your writings.” I smiled at him, and for whatever reason, I bent down and kissed his lips without even realizing that I did at first.

  He smiled when he saw I was blushing so hard.

  “Never saw you blush so hard before. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Now why in the hell did you go and k
iss him like that?

  This is what I kept asking myself the next day while I made my way to the studio. When I got there, the door was locked, which was odd. I knocked on the door for a while and saw him coming down the steps. He smiled and unlocked the door.

  “Hey, I closed the place down for about an hour so we can take pictures,” he said, putting a sign up.

  He had his equipment all together and I asked, “What do we do first?”

  Taking me over to the window, he positioned me how he wanted then got his camera and looked at me through his lens.

  “Ok, I want you to look like your waiting for someone, like your long lost lover that you haven’t seen in months,” he said, moving back.

  We took one shot together, facing each other and he ended up telling me this funny joke. I started laughing so hard, that I didn’t realize that pictures were being taken. We clowned around while the bulbs flashed around us; it was fun. Then he grabbed me around my waist and pulled me against him—that’s when the uncomfortable feeling started to set in.

  “Just turn around and smile for the camera,” he said in my ear.

  My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest it was beating so hard. Feeling his arms around me, holding me close to his body, God the moment was just right, then the phone rang.

  “Well, that will be it for today. I bet that is Laura calling me again.”

  He went to get the phone, and I went to drink my now cold tea. I started to gather my things and was about to head out when I heard him say, “Where are you going?”

  “I’m leaving, you said we were done.”

  “Hold on a second, please.” He walked back and continued talking on the phone. I looked out the window and saw the hustle and bustle of the city going by. It was an everyday thing for me. I sometimes would lose myself for hours, watching people go by, especially the couples. I wondered what they were thinking, maybe how much in love they were with one another.

  God, why can’t I find love too?

  “I wanted you to stay and wait for me to develop your pictures,” he told me as he started walking over to the door leading to his dark room. “Be right back.”

  I went back to the window and continued watching people go by. I found myself slowly going to sleep on the windowsill and before I knew it, I was.

  I felt something run across my face softly, as if trying to wake me. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Richard sitting in front of me with a smile on his face. “You looked so peaceful sitting there. I had to take a picture of you while I had the chance.”

  He handed me a picture of me sleeping in the window, I had to admit it was a really pretty picture of me, even though I was out cold.

  “Taking pictures of me while I am asleep, huh? Wow, you sure are bold, Richie Rich.” He laughed as he sat next to me, and we started looking over the other pictures he took of me.

  “You know, I want to use this one of you sleeping and this one of me and you in a show I am having tonight. I want you to be there, Marley. I took pictures of all of my friends, actually. I am calling it 'My Circle of Friends' exhibit. A lot of people from all of society are going to be here tonight. I am really psyched about it because this will give me some recognition in the art world.”

  I always believed in Richard from the day he opened his gallery and he had always done well throughout the years. I was happy to see that it was going to be well worth it tonight.

  * * * *

  When Marie and I got to Richard’s Gallery that night, the place was filled with people. The whole street littered with cars and limos pulling up and letting people out. “Can you believe all of these people coming to see your Richard tonight?”

  “My Richard?” I had to giggle at her comment as we made our way inside and through the crowd.

  We looked around and saw Andrew who brought a date, “Hello ladies, this is Janice from work. Janice, this is Marie and Marley.”

  “No way, you’re Marley Rockford, the writer? I have read every one of your novels. You are amazing.” She smiled, shaking my hand.

  “Why thank you, that has to be the best compliment I’ve gotten all day.” We walked away; blending with the crowd while trying to find Richard.

  Richard was standing next to the picture he had taken of me on the windowsill and was explaining to the crowd who was standing around him. He looked over at us as we came into view, “And here is my model right now, the lovely, Ms. Marley Rockford.”

  “Not the writer, Marley Rockford?” said one woman who must have been a reporter.

  “Yes the one and only Marley Rockford.” Richard beamed with pride as he held me next to him.

  Soon, I found myself the center of attention along with Richard.

  “Are you and Ms. Rockford dating?”

  We looked at each other and had to laugh at the comment, “No, we have been good friends since our college days. I have a girlfriend who is coming through the crowd right now, Laura, come here, sweetie!” he said, holding his arm out to greet her. She wore a very sliming, black, strapless dress and quickly kissed him in front of everyone. I had to shake my head, knowing it was all for show.

  “Yes, my name is Laura, and I am Richard’s girlfriend, not Ms. Rockford. Have any of the reporters seen my pictures?”

  I slowly melted into the background and within the crowd of people as I watched Richard and Laura talk with the reporters.

  “Have you noticed anything different between the pictures?” Marie asked me later that night while we walked through the gallery.

  “No, what do you mean?”

  “All the pictures are of his friends by themselves, but a lot of your pictures are with him in it. Not even Laura has one with him in it, only you.” She smiled as I started laughing nervously.

  I sipped my wine, and I looked over the other pictures. She was right, mine were the only ones with us together.

  “No wonder that reporter asked us if we were a couple. I wasn’t even thinking of that until you mentioned it.”

  We both went back to the picture of Richard holding me and whispering in my ear. “I was a nervous wreck in that photo. I was shocked that I got through it, but he told me to just smile and I felt so relaxed then. Oh God Marie, what am I going to do?”

  Putting her head down, she rubbed her forehead and shook it. “You know exactly what to do, Marley, and I think you will know the time to do it. Uh oh, Laura is coming,” she whispered as I turned around to see her coming our way.

  “Hello, girls, how are you doing tonight?” she asked, showing her perfect dental work.

  “Doing good, Richard is really going to have a lot of people looking for him to do things after this exhibit.” Marie said with a smile.

  “Oh yes, I’ve talked with many people who have told me wonderful things about the photos he’s done of me and everyone else,” she said, looking dead at me the entire time.

  I didn’t like the look she was projecting at me, and I knew I wasn’t going to like what she was going to say next.

  “Marley, I wanted to talk with you for a minute, if you don’t mind Marie?”

  “I’ll be over with Andrew,” Marie said, walking away. We walked toward some other pictures and for some reason, my head started to hurt.

  Something is wrong.

  “I saw some of the pictures that you and Richard took; he showed them to me before he made them public. I am still trying to figure something out though?” she said as we stopped.

  “What’s that?”

  “Why would a fat bitch such as you be interested in someone like my man?”

  I shot her a look but it didn’t seem to faze her a bit, she kept going, “And then it hit me, you like him…actually, you’re in love with him.”

  “I care for him like a friend or brother but not like that.” I fed her that lie but she started laughing in my face.

  “Bullshit, give me a fucking break bitch. Do you really think I believe anything that comes out of your fat mouth regarding my Richard?”
<
br />   I wanted to punch her dead in that pretty little mouth of hers. Just one swift sucker punch would probably make me feel really good. “I’m going to tell you this one more time you stinky ass fleabag. Stay the hell away from my man. I don’t want you anywhere near him alone. He is mine; do you understand that? He doesn’t love you and never will, so why don’t you get your fucking head out of the clouds and stop thinking like those stupid books of yours. This is reality; no man wants to be with a fat bitch like you.”

  She looked me up and down and smiled at what she accomplished, and as quickly as she said her spiteful words, she wistfully walked away.

  I don’t think I was ever so mad in my entire life as I was at that moment. My entire body was shaking from head to toe with anger, and I could feel the tears starting to well in my eyes and my throat starting to hurt.

  Before I knew it, I had flung the glass up against the wall causing it to shatter all over the place, and that’s when people started to walk in and look.

  “What happened in here?” Richard asked, coming toward me, with Marie and Andrew.

  “I think I better go Richard. For some reason, some people do not want me here. Good night.” I made my way through the crowd.

  Before I got outside, Richard was right behind me.

  “Why are you leaving?” Then he saw my face and he was shocked.

  “What the hell happened in there, Marley?”

  I couldn’t stop crying, why was I damn crying so much? God everything hurt so much on my body and I just couldn’t stop crying.

  “I’m sorry Richard.”

  That’s all I could say as I ran down the street and into a crowd of people.

  When I did make it home, I fell on my couch and cried harder than I had ever done before. Damn her hateful words; was all I could think while I was crying. My phone started ringing and the caller ID displayed Marie’s number.