Totlandia: Spring

by Josie Brown

  Then she dropped to the floor, crying.

  Amelia and Addison’s tiny hands, patting away her tears, brought her back to reality. At noon, the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club was holding a special initiation luncheon for Onesies candidates who had successfully completed the challenges assigned to them over the holidays. She had to pull herself together and get the girls ready.

  Smiling through her tears, she announced to her babies, “Let’s play dress-up!”

  She watched, brokenhearted, as they squealed and nodded. Then she took one plump little hand of each girl, swinging them as they hopped in unison up the staircase.

  9:02 a.m.

  I love you so much that it hurts to breathe when I look at you, Jade Pierce thought.

  Her toddler son, Oliver, squirmed in his dad’s long, strong arms. Brady Pierce’s chuckle was deep and filled with the genuine pride a young father cannot hide when measuring the strength of his boy’s grip on his own thumb.

  If only Brady worshipped me, too, Jade thought sadly.

  But she knew better now. He’d been just using her. As long as she did her part, as long as she played nice-nice with Bettina and the PHM&T committee, he’d allow her to stick around.

  I could leave, she thought. I should leave. But if I do, I’ll never win him back.

  She knew her ex-husband lusted for her. She saw it in his eyes, which followed her whenever she entered the room. She made damn sure Brady found it hard to resist her.

  Still, to her chagrin, he never initiated their lovemaking.

  Except for one blissful night. On Christmas Eve, after she’d presented Brady with an album filled with photos of Oliver and his new toddler friends from the club, he’d been so touched by the gift that he not only took her into his arms, but also welcomed her into his bed.

  She had hoped—prayed—this meant he’d finally fallen in love with her.

  But Brady’s not-so-subtle looks of longing for Ally, whenever she was near, was obvious to Jade.

  And those admiring glances broke her heart.

  Despite the PHM&T application committee’s attempts to pit all the probationary Onesies against each other, Jade felt she had bonded with Lorna, Jillian, and Ally. That is, until she saw Ally turning impulsively to kiss Brady just as the clock struck midnight on New Year’s Eve.

  That vision was now scorched in Jade’s memory.

  Finally, Brady gets what he wants, Jade thought. Playmates for our son.

  And one for himself.

  Suddenly Brady glanced over at her. Did he notice the sadness in her eyes when she looked at him? Apparently not, because his gaze held no sympathy, only bemused annoyance. “Jade, hon, your cell phone has been buzzing for the past five minutes! Join the rest of us on planet Earth, okay?”

  To rouse herself from her pity, Jade shrugged, then snapped open her phone. But before she had a chance to speak, the voice on the other end said, “Hey, sweet thang, so tell me, are you wearing panties?”

  The question stunned her like a blow to the back of the head.

  Of course she recognized the caller’s voice. It had been haunting her since she saw him for the first time in over a year this past Halloween. It belonged to Bettina’s husband, Art Connaught.

  Thank God he hadn’t remembered where he knew her from. That was because most of the time they’d been together, he’d only had eyes for her G-string-clad backside. Or he’d stare at her naked breasts, which jiggled as she worked her pole on the Condor Club’s stage.

  In truth, she barely remembered him, either. Like many of the club’s patrons, he wasn’t there to make eye contact, but to feel the dancers’ soft, taut skin against his lap. And to mutter shaming filth into her ear. Yes, that was her strongest memory of him.

  The bouncers at the Condor Club were familiar with his dirty talk, too, which spewed its filth whenever they muscled him out of the club for breaking the strip joint’s very clear rules: look, drool, tip, but don’t touch.

  It was obvious Art’s memory had cleared by the night of the Cross’s annual New Year’s Eve party. He hadn’t just whispered his typical trash in her ear that night, but also a threat: convince Brady to invest with him, or he’d tell Bettina about her past and ruin Oliver’s chances of remaining in PHM&T.

  “Ha ha! I know what you’re thinking,” Art murmured. “‘How presumptuous of you, Art!’ And you’re right. Not to call, but to ask such an intimate question. But of course you’re wearing panties! I guess what I should have asked is, are they crotchless or edible?”

  Jade turned her back to Brady and walked toward the living room’s big picture window. Across the street, young couples in love strolled hand in hand on the path surrounding the lake in front of San Francisco’s stately Palace of Fine Arts, where white swans glided across its tranquil surface.

  Everyone is happy but me, Jade thought wistfully.

  Then it struck her. When it came to Brady, Oliver was still her trump card, Ally or no Ally.

  But if she got kicked out of the club, she’d lose both Brady and her son.

  She couldn’t let that happen.

  Besides, Brady had to invest his money with someone. Why not Art? Maybe the fact that he was a ruthless son-of-a-bitch with no sense of morality was a big plus in the game of high finance.

  In a sugar-sweet voice, she loudly proclaimed, “Bettina! So good to hear from you!…Yes, you caught us just in time. Brady and I were just about to take Oliver on a little stroll before getting ready for the PHM&T luncheon.”

  “So, good ol’ Brady is standing there, eh?” Art drawled from the phone. “Love it! Hey, how ’bout I talk dirty to you? Would that make you all hot and bothered? No? That’s okay. We both know that’s not why I’m calling. I’m just checking in to see if we’re still on for a date.”

  Oh my God, he’s much too loud, Jade thought.

  She cupped the phone closer to her ear. “You’re confirming that date to go out, the four of us? Yes, of course I remember.” Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Brady mimicking a knife going across his throat. All she could do was shrug helplessly. “We discussed tomorrow, Saturday the twelfth, right? Sevenish?”

  Brady groaned loudly. Well, too bad. She waved him away.

  “That’s a good girl.” Art growled in her ear. “I’ll tell my ol’ lady I confirmed our little foursome. Why don’t we say Ozumo on Steuart? I’ll get us their little private room.” He laughed heartily. “Damn, if only it were a private party, just you and me. Would you let me eat sushi off your bodacious bod? Ah well, I guess this is the next best thing. Just make sure Brady brings his checkbook with him. One way or another, he’s picking up the tab, right? You’ve sucked on that tit before, so you know how sweet it is. Time to give the rest of us some time at that trough.”

  He hung up the phone before she could say anything.

  Brady shook his head at her. “Damn, Jade, I thought I told you to get us out of that date. Bettina’s husband made it clear at their New Year’s Eve shindig that he wants me to invest in one of his funds, but no way that’s going to happen. I’m already looking into Matt Connaught’s startup lead, remember?”

  She took Oliver from Brady’s arms. “I still think we should hang out with Bettina and Art. You know, for Oliver’s sake. And besides, you’ve got enough money that throwing a few thou Art’s way shouldn’t be such a big deal.”

  Brady shrugged. “After today, it’ll be official. You and Oliver are in the club, so why should I?”

  “Nothing is written in stone. Bettina and her posse are always looking for infractions. If you want to stay in the club, you can’t even be separated. You know that.” Rocking her son on her hip, she murmured, “Could you imagine what would happen if, say, she found out Ally still sits on the board of the company she started and is faking her marriage to that gay lawyer friend of hers?”

  Brady looked at her suspiciously. “How would Bettina find that out?”

  “Who knows? But hey, those kinds of things have a way of getting
out.” Jade smiled innocently. “I’m just pointing out that if we want to stay in the club, we all have to watch our P’s and Q’s.”

  Brady’s frown was accompanied by a shrug. “That means you, too. Seriously, are you going to wear that blouse to the luncheon?”

  Jade raised a brow. “Why? What’s wrong with it?”

  “For one thing, it’s see-through. And for another, you’re not wearing a bra.”

  Her smirk faded. “I thought you liked this blouse.”

  “I do. I just don’t think Bettina will. But I’m guessing Art will. Hey, here’s a thought. Why don’t you save it for our double date? Maybe he’ll be so captivated by your headlights that he’ll forget to ask for any of my money.”

  Go to hell, Jade thought.

  She shot him the bird as she headed up the stairs.

  But because she knew Brady was still watching her as she climbed the staircase with Oliver, she made sure to keep her shoulders back and hold her head high.

  She also knew he got her message, loud and clear.

  ***

  She still suspects something, Brady thought. And if she finds out she’s right, she’ll hurt Ally with what she knows.

  He could feel the color leaving his face.

  I can’t let her do that. No way in hell.

  Since their kiss on New Year’s Eve, Brady called Ally’s cell at least a half dozen times, but she never picked up. She may have admitted to him that she loved him, but she was still conflicted over her feelings.

  He knew she truly liked Jade and didn’t want to hurt her friend.

  If Jade was the reason Ally got ousted from the club, she’d blame him. And she’d have every right to do so.

  All the pieces of his grand scheme for Oliver had fallen into place. His son had been accepted to PHM&T. Bettina had taken Jade under her wing. Jade was finally acting like a real mother to her son…

  For now, he warned himself. And only as long as I pretend I’m interested in her.

  He could talk with Ally. He could laugh with her. In his opinion, she got everything about him: why he had been driven to make a success of himself, and then sell his company in order to focus on raising his child.

  Because she had done exactly the same thing.

  Jade never understood him. God love the girl but, in his opinion, she was clueless. This would never change.

  At that moment, he made a vow to himself. I can’t let her stand in the way of my happiness.

  Sure, he’d have dinner with the Crosses, play up to Bettina, and string Art along.

  Oliver’s happiness didn’t have to happen at his and Ally’s expense no matter what cards Jade thought she had up her sleeve.

  She rarely wore sleeves anyway.

  Hell, she rarely wore a bra.

  At least that was one thing he admired about her.

  10:05 a.m.

  “Oh! You’re back!” Barry Simon kissed his best friend, Ally Thornton, but the concern in his eyes undermined the surprised smile on his face.

  “Yep, as promised, Friday morning. Sorry I’m late. The traffic coming up from Carmel was heavier than I anticipated.” Ally looked beyond him into his living room. “Thanks so much for looking after Zoe these past couple of days. I really needed the time to think things through.”

  “What’s a baby sperm donor-slash- daddy-slash- lawyer-slash- guardian-slash- BFF for, anyway?” He shrugged. “And besides, if you’ve finally come to your senses about this crush you’ve got on that married dude, it was worth it.”

  “Oh.” Ally’s smile faded. “About that. I’m sorta still on the fence.”

  Ally couldn’t lie to Barry. The elation she’d felt when she kissed Brady at Bettina’s New Year’s Eve party had yet to fade. The two-day getaway to Carmel was supposed to clear her head on the issue, but it had the opposite effect. She was more confused than ever as to what she should do next.

  Just minutes before the kiss, she’d made the perfect case to Brady as to why they shouldn’t be anything other than friends. For example, the PHM&T applications committee presumed she was already married—to Barry, in fact. They also thought Brady was still married to his ex, Jade.

  Front and center in her argument was her own relationship with Brady’s ex. The challenging tasks given to her and the probationary members of PHM&T’s Onesies group hadn’t pitted them against each other. Instead, it brought them closer. She knew Jade was fighting hard to stay in her son’s life, and she admired her for that.

  And now that she knew the true circumstances of Jade and Brady’s relationship, it was clear to Ally that Jade was doing everything she could to win back Brady’s love.

  But Brady wanted Ally. He had countered all of Ally’s arguments—including her accusation that he only wanted her because it was a safe bet that she’d never give in—by asking her to allow herself the happiness she deserved.

  There were too many reasons to say no, but one very important reason to say yes. No other man had been willing to take a chance on her.

  He was begging to be that man.

  Seeing Barry’s frown, Ally quickly added, “Barry, please try to understand! I’m a single mom, closing in on forty. Whereas most of the men I meet resent my professional success, Brady loves and respects the fact that I built a company on my own, because he’s done exactly the same thing. And while most men are intimidated by my financial freedom, Brady finds this a relief.”

  Barry laughed. “I’m sure he does! Arm charms are expensive.”

  Ally frowned. “That’s another thing. He loves me, even though I don’t look like…well you know—”

  “Yeah, I know—a Playboy centerfold.” Barry hesitated, then added, “Like Jade.”

  Yes, like Jade. Ally looked down at her breasts, which were not exactly small, and not exactly sagging, but they’d certainly never get her on the cover of Esquire, either.

  When she looked up again, Barry was still scowling. Obviously, he was still worried for her. It was time to change the subject. She gave him a big sunny smile. “So, where’s our little girl?”

  “Christian took Zoe out to…Well, let’s just say they’re bonding. And the great news is that they should be back any moment.” He looked down at his watch. “You said Bettina’s ‘you’re now all my bitches’ celebration is at noon, right? So, you’ve got plenty of time to get there. And then you’ve got the next four and a half years to regret putting yourself through it. Not to mention Zoe.”

  “Zoe is having a blast with all her little friends in the club.”

  “And you’re having a blast with one of their fathers. It’s only a matter of time before that little kewpie doll, Jade, finds out about you and her hubby.” Barry’s eyes rolled skyward. “You lied to get into this club. And now Brady has put you in a position where you’ll have to lie to all these great friends you claimed to have made. Tell me. What’s going to happen when they find out about the two of you? We both know it’s inevitable.” Despite his frown, he took her hand in his. “You know how I feel about the club. If you’d been axed, I’d be doing cartwheels. But to voluntarily leave it and all the friends you and Zoe have made, just because that player is making goo-goo eyes at you—” Barry took a deep breath. “Ally, he’s a man with all the things that implies.”

  “You sound as if you know something about Brady that I don’t.”

  Barry shrugged. “We men aren’t always honest with those who love us. Especially when we know it knocks us off some imaginary pedestal.”

  It’s sweet, the way he’s so protective of me, Ally thought. He may not know Brady the way I do, but he’s got a point. Zoe comes first, always.

  So that Barry couldn’t see her tears, she turned her head toward the window. Thank goodness, Christian, Barry’s partner, was pushing Zoe’s carriage up the block.

  “Look, Barry, I hear you. I’ll let Brady know in no uncertain terms that we’re just friends, and no more.” She kissed his cheek and then put a smile on her face. “Christian’s back—just in time to get
Zoe ready. I bought her the cutest little dress for the ceremony.”

  “Um…Ally, about Zoe…There was a bit of an incident—”

  “What? What do you mean, ‘incident?’”

  “Nothing too serious. We had her in the yard with us while Christian and I were weeding the flowerbeds, and…well, while Christian and I weren’t looking—”

  At that moment, the door opened. Christian winced when he saw Ally. With an apologetic nod, he reached down to lift Zoe out of her stroller.

  Ally stared down at her child. Except for her eyes, nose, and mouth, every inch of the little girl was wrapped in a sports bandage. Her nose had been patted down with a thick paste.

  Ally kept a smile on her face as she picked up her squealing daughter and cooed. “Hi, sweetie! Mommy certainly missed you!” Turning back to the men, she hissed. “Oh my God! Can someone explain to me why my daughter looks like a mummy?”

  “I was trying to explain that she fell into some poison sumac,” Barry started.

  “At first, we thought it was some of the New Zealand ivy we’d planted last year, so we didn’t think much of it.” Christian interjected. “She’d pulled it up by the roots and was running over with it. Just like a little pixie sprite! She was so adorable!”

  “Yeah well, ‘adorable’ doesn’t begin to describe her now, does it?” Ally grimaced.

  “It happened overnight. I guess she scratched open a lot of those odious little pimples.” Barry shuddered. “We thought it best that Christian take her to the pediatrician as soon as possible.”

  I guess so that I wouldn’t murder him in front of my child, Ally thought. “What’s that stuff on her nose?”

  “Domeboro. The doctor recommended it,” Christian explained. “And it’s all over her body and her face, too. The bandages keep her from rubbing it off. He says the swelling will be gone in a couple of days.”

  “Yeah, well, that won’t work. She’s got the club’s induction ceremony today! I can’t take her looking like this!”

  Barry grinned mischievously. “So miss it.”