Burn for Burn

by Han, Jenny; Vivian, Siobhan

  When I get home, Aunt Bette’s Volvo is in the driveway. I quietly set my bike down on the front lawn and walk backward, toward the street. Forget my dresses, my clothes. Aunt Bette can send me everything later. All I know is that I need to be on the next ferry out of here.

  At the curb I turn and give the house one last look. I try to memorize the exact shade of gray the cedar shingles are, like the sky right before a summer storm. I count the white shutters bolted to each of the windows. Twelve. I trace the curve of the cobblestone walk through the air with my finger. I take it in, because this is the last time I’ll ever see this house again. I’m not ever coming back here. Never.

  Then I take a deep breath and start the downhill walk toward the ferry, fighting back tears the whole way. I was crazy to think that Reeve would ever apologize for the terrible things he did to me. I always hoped, somewhere deep down inside, that I mattered to him. That, despite everything, there was something real between us. That he cared about me. That he was sorry for what he did.

  I know now, I know for sure, that I was wrong. He’s never going to apologize to me, or acknowledge what he did. And so there’s no reason for me to stay.

  My heart is pounding in my chest as I reach the ferry dock. I’m panting too hard to talk, so when I get to the ticket window, I stand a bit off to the side to give myself a chance to catch my breath. I watch from the shore as one boat docks and lets its passengers on. A woman behind me takes my place in line. She tries to buy a ticket, but the four p.m. ride is sold out. The earliest she can get on is the six p.m.

  It gets darker. More people line up to buy tickets, but I don’t make a move. I stand and watch and wait. I want to go back in line and buy my ticket. I want to so badly. Everything inside me is screaming Go, go, go, go. But I can’t. Something’s holding me back. Something’s keeping me here.

  What is happening to me?

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  KAT

  THE SKY IS BLACK. I ’VE GOT THE TOP DOWN ON DAD’S convertible, and the clock on the dashboard reads a quarter to two in the morning.

  I check my cell phone one last time before chucking it into the backseat. No calls, no texts. Nothing. She’s not coming.

  Why am I such an idiot?

  I should have kept this whole revenge idea to myself. Revenge is supposed to be a solitary thing. I think I heard that somewhere. And I don’t know what help I thought Lillia could give me. Her mind can’t go to the dark places mine does. She’s way too pure for that. And even with whatever’s going on between Lillia and Rennie, there’s no way Lillia would ever betray her. Actually, knowing Lillia, she’s probably reading my text out loud and Rennie’s laughing her ass off. I got too excited, and now look. I’m going to be done before I even get started.

  Screw this. I’m just gonna go home and work on my early decision app to Oberlin. That’s the only thing that will get me through this year—the thought of finally getting off this island for good.

  I pull into the ferry parking lot to turn around. The lights are off, the place is cleared out, except for one girl sitting on the curb. She’s got her elbows on her knees, her head in her hands, and her blond hair over one shoulder.

  I think about cruising right past her, but something makes me slow down. As I get close, I see that it’s the girl from the bathroom.

  “Bathroom girl,” I say, pulling to a stop.

  “My name’s Mary,” she says. She’s chewing on a piece of hair.

  “I know,” I lie. “I was being funny.” I shake my head and start over. “What the hell are you doing out so late?”

  Her eyes are wide and frantic. “I have to get off the island.”

  “Well, you know it’s almost two in the morning, right? There’s not going to be another ferry until tomorrow. You missed the last one by, like, three hours.”

  Mary doesn’t say anything. She just stares off toward the piers. You can hardly tell water from the sky. Everything’s black. “I think I’m losing my mind.”

  She says it, and honestly, I believe her. This girl is totally weird. But I should get down to the yacht club. On the minuscule chance that Lillia does show up, I need to be there. “Do you want a ride home or something?” I ask Mary, hoping her answer is no.

  “I’m just going to wait. Maybe I’ll get up the guts to leave by the morning.”

  “You’re going to sit here all night?”

  “It’s only a few more hours. And then I never have to see this place again.”

  “Where’s all your stuff? Didn’t you move here with anything?”

  “I—I’ll get it some other time.”

  This is crazy. Girlfriend is full-on freaking out. “Is this about Reeve?”

  Mary lowers her eyes. “It’s always been about Reeve.”

  I’m about to say, Eff him—but before I can, I see Lillia’s silver Audi fly down the road and take the first right into the yacht club parking lot. I can’t believe it. She showed. She actually showed.

  “Get in,” I tell Mary, because I might be a bitch, but I’m not going to leave her here alone in the dark.

  “I—”

  “Hurry up!”

  For a second Mary looks like she’s going to argue with me. If she does, I’m out of here. I don’t have time to baby her ass. Lillia might not even get out of the car if she doesn’t see me there. Mary hesitates, and then she tries to open the door, but it’s stuck. “It’s locked.”

  “Let go of the handle,” I say, and push the unlock button, but when Mary tries the door, it still won’t open. God. “Just hop in, all right!”

  “Who are you chasing?” she asks as I gun it to close the distance between us and Lillia’s taillights.

  I don’t answer her. I just drive.

  When we get into the parking lot, Lillia’s standing by her car. She’s got on a tight hooded sweatshirt, rolled-up pajama shorts with pink and red hearts on them, and flip-flops. Her hair is pulled up into a long ponytail. I think, from the way the moon hits it, that it’s wet. She must have just taken her bath. That’s a weird thing about Lillia. She always took a bath every night like a kid. I guess some things don’t change.

  “You’re late, Kat,” she says. Then she notices Mary with me, and her grip tightens around her car keys.

  I hurry out of the car and walk over. I’m excited and relieved that Lillia’s here but trying to hide it. “She needed a ride,” I whisper. “Don’t worry. It’s cool.”

  “Kat—” Lillia’s giving me the evil eye. “I’m not saying anything in front of her!”

  I guess Mary can hear us, because she calls out, “It’s fine. I can go.” She climbs out of my car.

  I hold up my hand for Lillia to give me a second, and I look back at Mary. I say, “Leave Jar Island tomorrow morning like a scared little baby?”

  “I am scared. I’m scared out of my mind.”

  “Of Reeve Tabatsky?” I’m actually pissed now. This girl needs to get a backbone, stat. “He ain’t shit. I won’t let him touch you.”

  “That’s not what I’m worried about.” Mary covers her face with her hands. “It’s me. I’m the problem. I—I just can’t get over it. I can’t move on.”

  “Well, yeah. You don’t have any closure. The wrong hasn’t been made right. Reeve’s never gotten what’s coming to him.”

  Lillia shakes her head. “Forget this. I’m out.” She clicks her car alarm. The headlights flash on and off like a lighthouse, and the doors unlock.

  I sidle up to her car door and cover the handle with my back so she can’t open it. “Don’t leave now. You wouldn’t have come here if you didn’t want to get Alex as badly as I want to get Rennie.”

  Mary slowly approaches us. “What did Alex do to you?”

  Lillia hesitates before saying, “He didn’t do anything to me. He did something to my sister.”

  Yeah, Nadia and me both. Not that I’m scarred or anything. It was just a stupid hookup. It could have been more, but he screwed that up. I’m over it. Almost.

&
nbsp; Mary says, “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to intrude. I’m going to go. And listen, I promise I won’t tell a soul. You can trust me. I know more than maybe anyone else on the island how this kind of thing can weigh you down. I just . . . I think it’s really cool you both are going to do something about it.” She turns around and starts walking away, back toward the ferry. “Good luck.”

  Lillia and I look at each other. “Wait!” I call out. Mary turns around. “You want in on this, Mary? Help us . . . and we’ll help you take down Reeve.” I’m afraid to look at Lillia, because I know she’s probably pissed at me right now. But she doesn’t say anything. And she doesn’t leave, either.

  “Why would you do that? You don’t even know me.”

  Mary’s staring at me all intense and unblinking, and it throws me off. It takes me a sec to recover. I say, “I don’t have to know you to see that you’re a total mess over whatever happened, like, years ago. And, hey, it wouldn’t be a free ride. You’d have to get your hands dirty too. But we’d be in it together. The three of us.”

  Mary looks at me and Lillia for a long moment. So long that I start to get antsy. At last she says, “If you help me get Reeve, I’ll do whatever you want.”

  Lillia doesn’t move. Her lips are tight and she’s shaking her head. “I don’t know.”

  “Think about it,” I tell her. I’m so psyched, I’m practically bouncing on my toes. “Mary’s new. No one even knows her, much less suspects her. Plus, with one other person, it’ll be easier on both of us.” She doesn’t look convinced. I throw my hands into the air and say, “You trusted me enough to come here, didn’t you? All you have to do is trust me just a little bit more. I’ve got a good feeling about this.”

  Biting her lip, Lillia says, “So we’re going to get revenge on Rennie, Alex, and now Reeve? You’re basically asking me to take down everyone in my group.”

  Maybe you shouldn’t be friends with such assholes is right there on the tip of my tongue. But I swallow that down and go with diplomacy. “I hear you,” I say, nodding. “You’ve got the most to lose. I get that. So we’ll take care of Alex first.” Pointing, I say, “Let’s go scheme where we’re not out in the open. My boat’s parked down that way.”

  Immediately Lillia says, “No way, Kat.”

  “You still haven’t learned to swim yet, Lil?” I tease.

  She flushes. “I just don’t see the point.”

  “It’ll be safer if we talk on the water,” I say. “No chance of anyone overhearing us.”

  Lillia rolls her eyes and unfolds her arms to gesture around. “Who’s going to hear us?”

  Lillia Cho. Always thinks she knows best. “Lots of rich old men bring their mistresses here,” I say. “And also, security. And cops. I mean, if you’re willing to risk getting arrested, I—”

  “Maybe you should have picked a better place,” Lillia snarks back.

  “Let’s just go to the boat,” Mary says. “I mean, we’re here now.”

  “Fine,” Lillia groans.

  I lead the way along the dock, with the moon at my back. Mary’s next to me, and Lillia a few steps behind.

  As we walk, my mind is racing with possibilities. How we can do this, what will be the best way to get started. I’ve already given it some thought, just in case Lillia did show up tonight. But now that Mary’s in the mix too, I’ve got to make a few quick adjustments. All I know is that I have to seem prepared, for Lillia’s sake, to put her mind at ease. That girl is as skittish as a cat in a thunderstorm. One hiccup and she’ll bolt.

  When Mary asks me if I own one of these boats, pointing at the souped-up yachts, I barely hear her. She has to ask me again. Shaking my head, I say, “Not exactly.”

  Because I work at the club, I get to park my boat for free. But not here with these boats, obviously. Mine’s tied up back behind the gas pumps on an older stretch of dock where my boss keeps his junkers, the broken old boats he’s bought cheap to strip for parts.

  “Be careful,” I tell them. “The planks along this dock are half-rotted, and there’s lots of rusted nail heads poking up through the cracks. I think I still have a splinter stuck in my heel. This jerk pulled his yacht in too fast and made a wake so big that it rocked me right off my boat.”

  “That sucks,” Mary says.

  I nod. “And he barely even said sorry. Rich people never say sorry.”

  Lillia rolls her eyes but keeps her mouth shut.

  I take the tarp off my Catalina daysailer, fold it up, and put it in the hatch. It’s been a while since I’ve had it out on the water. Maybe not even since June, which is crazy. But the thing is, Alex and I would always hang out on his boat, because it had a fridge to keep our drinks cool and leather bucket seats that reclined, and an amazing stereo system. For some weird reason I feel guilty about this. About forgetting who I was before I met him. The things that used to be important to me. Fixing up my boat, hanging out with my real friends. I never thought I’d be one of those girls, those girls that compromise who they are just for a guy. Especially some two-timing wannabe player like Alex Lind.

  “Get in,” I say, hooking my floodlight up to the battery. It sends a bright beam out through the night, lighting up the caps of the waves. Perfect.

  Lillia takes one step on board and freezes as the boat sways. Then she hops off like a scared bunny rabbit. She almost backs right into Mary, who looks nervous too. Crossing her arms, Lillia says, “Let’s just talk out here.”

  Laughing, I say, “I’ve been sailing ever since I was old enough to turn the steering wheel on my own, for God’s sakes! I feel safer driving this than a car.”

  “I said I’m not getting on that thing,” Lillia snaps. “Either we talk out here or I leave.”

  Under my breath I mutter “Diva,” unhook my floodlight, and then join them on the dock.

  The three of us sit in a semicircle.

  It hits me right then that I’ve already won. Because Rennie’s best friend is sitting here right now, pledging to help me take her down. And Alex is going to get his, too. I could give two shits about Reeve, but it’ll be nice to see him get what’s coming to him. It’s like a freaking three-for-one deal.

  I stretch my legs out in front of me. “We’ve got to set some ground rules. First off, I think each of us has to participate in all three acts of revenge. That way no one can back out or blame someone else.”

  “Obviously,” Lillia says.

  I shoot her a look but keep going. “Second, we can’t be seen talking to each other in public. Ever.”

  Mary nods. “Yeah. I guess that makes sense.”

  I continue, “In fact, I even think texting each other is too risky. Lillia, what if Rennie picked up your phone and saw my number?”

  Lillia looks down at her lap. “Not that Rennie’s, like, snooping around on my phone, but yeah, I guess you have a point. We’re going to have to be careful.”

  “We have to be more than careful,” I say. “No one can ever know what we’re up to. What we do together lives and dies with us.” Then I clear my throat, because this is the most important part. “And if we’re really going to do this, no one can bail halfway through. If you’re in, you need to be in until the very end. Until we all get what we want. If not, well . . . consider yourself fair game. It’ll be open season, and we’ll have a hell of a lot of ammo to use against you. If you can’t swear to that, we might as well just pretend like tonight never happened.”

  Mary nods first, then Lillia. I smile, because, holy shit, we’re doing this.

  “All right, then,” I say. “I think that’s it. Now we just have to figure out what we’re going to do to Rennie, Alex, and Reeve.”

  “Alex first,” Lillia corrects.

  We look at each other. No one’s saying anything.

  “So what’s the plan?” Lillia asks.

  “Don’t expect me to do the heavy lifting,” I say, defensive. “I just came up with the rules!”

  Lillia purses her lips. “Are you serious? I thou
ght you’d be all over this. I figured you’d already have, like, a notebook with everybody you hate and lists of things you’ll do to get back at them.” She actually sounds disappointed, which gives me a weird sense of pride.

  Off the top of my head, I start riffing. “Okay, well, Alex is obsessed with his SUV. We could spray paint it, mess with the engine—”

  “Not big enough,” Lillia interrupts.

  Mary asks, “Does he have a pet or something? We could kidnap it . . . and kill it!” Lillia and I exchange a horrified look as Mary giggles. “I’m just kidding about that last part. I love animals!”

  I keep going. “We could hack into the school computer and mess with his grades. Make it so the only college that will take him is Jar Island CC. His dad will beat his ass if he doesn’t get into an Ivy.”

  Lillia sighs and says, “I don’t know how to hack into anything, and I doubt you do either, Kat. Do you, Mary?”

  Mary shakes her head.

  “I think I have a better idea,” Lillia says. I start to bristle, but she goes on. “I want to make it so no Jar Island girl will ever hook up with Alex Lind again. So . . . how do we make that happen?” There’s something about the way Lillia says it. Leaning forward in the dark, her eyes are wide open and calm. She means business.

  “Hell yeah!” I clap my hands. I can’t help myself.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  LILLIA

  AFTER CHEER PRACTICE ON FRIDAY, RENNIE LOOPS HER arm through mine as we walk together through the parking lot. “So, what do you want to do tonight?”

  “Oh, you aren’t working?” I’d figured she was. I’d hoped she was.

  Rennie shakes her head. “Terri said she’d switch with me. I want to do something fun!” She says this last part in her baby voice.

  “Hmm,” I say, pretending to think. But I just want to go home, lie on my bed, and dream up more stuff to do to Alex. I kept zoning out in class, imagining how amazing it will feel when we start messing with him. It’s, like, therapeutic. I haven’t been this happy since . . . well . . . for a while.