Holdin' On for a Hero

by Ciana Stone

  Konnor drove her home after the class ended and said he would call her later. She showered and curled up on the bed to take a nap and woke to the sound of the phone. Hoping it was Konnor, she grabbed it before the voice mail could pick up.

  Nolan Weston, a colleague from Fermilab was calling. He was traveling to Atlanta for a meeting and had booked an early flight so that he could lay over in Charlotte one night. He wanted to talk to her about something he felt she could help with, and said it was urgent. She tried to get him to tell her what it was, but he would not discuss it over the phone. All he would tell her was that he had quit Fermilab and was working on a secret project. Her curiosity was piqued and she tried to get more out of him. He promised to fill her in when they met. She agreed to meet him at his hotel.

  Now she wondered why Konnor hadn’t called. Maybe he’s sorry it happened, she considered. Doubts rose, multiplied, and strangled her. She felt as though she was being drowned by them. Panic began to take hold

  “Stop it!” she scolded herself aloud. She had to stop thinking about it, to shut off the feelings. That was what scared her the most. She had never felt about anyone the way she did about Konnor and it was as frightening as anything she had ever experienced. Not even the black hole in her memory was as terrifying.

  She jumped when her phone rang, then snatched it up, heart pounding. “Dr. Laserian.” She did her utmost to sound normal.

  “Where’ve you been?” Ryan demanded.

  She didn’t respond and for a time there was silence on the line. “You there?” he finally asked.

  “Yes.”

  “You want to talk?”

  “About what?”

  “About why you ran out on me the other night.” He sounded hurt. “I think you owe me an explanation.”

  “Do I?” She heard the coldness in her voice and didn’t care.

  There was another long silence before he spoke. “Are you free for lunch?”

  “I’ll be out of class at half-past-twelve.”

  “I’ll pick you up.”

  “No, I’ll meet you. Black Oak Grille. A quarter ‘til one.”

  “I’ll be there.”

  Without saying goodbye, she hung up the phone and gathered what she needed for her first class. Just as she reached the door, she stopped and turned around to pick up the phone and make a call.

  “Yes?” Ian Drake answered his private line.

  “Hi, Ian. It’s Senna. I’ve decided to continue. I want to try the regression again. When can I see you?”

  “Hold on…” There was a brief pause. “I’m booked the rest of the day. Unless you want to come this evening.”

  “No, I don’t want to interrupt your free time.”

  “I was planning on staying late, anyway.”

  “I have a dinner appointment at six with an old colleague,” she said. “And it could last a couple of hours.”

  “That’s okay. I’ll wait. Call when you’re in the lot and I’ll let you in.”

  “Thanks, Ian.”

  “Sure, see you later.”

  Relieved to have that decision made, she hurried to class.

  Jackson Township

  Konnor opened the door to find Slater waiting on the porch.

  “Good morning,” Slater said and entered without being invited.

  Konnor closed the door in the faces of the two men who were behind Slater. “Why’re you here?” he asked.

  Slater gave the door an amused look then turned his attention to Konnor. “I see your manners haven’t improved. You could have at least offered them something to drink.”

  Konnor ignored the comment and after a moment Slater shrugged. “Okay, I come bearing news.”

  “There’s an invention called the telephone,” Konnor said. “Ever hear of it?”

  “My, we are rusty, aren’t we?” Slated smirked. “Remember that little thing called acoustical surveillance?”

  “My place is clean,” Konnor barked. “I’ve already checked.”

  “So, you haven’t forgotten everything I taught you.” Slater pulled his cigarettes from his pocket and lit one. “Nevertheless, we can’t take any unnecessary risks.”

  “What’s the information?” Konnor changed the subject, wanting to end the meeting as soon as possible.

  “Have you heard of Nolan Weston?”

  Konnor shook his head. “Should I?”

  “No, I suppose not.” Slater looked around for an ashtray, and when he couldn’t spot one, thumped his ashes in the direction of the fireplace, but missed. “Unless, of course, you’re interested in quantum mechanics.”

  Konnor went into the kitchen and returned with a coffee cup. He handed it to Slater, who stabbed his cigarette out in it, then set it aside. “Several months ago, Dr. Weston took an unexpected trip to France. Right about the time a nuclear test was taking place. Upon leaving France, he flew to Syria then crossed the border into Iraq where we lost track of him for two days. We picked him up again in Kuwait three days later when he boarded a plane back to the States.”

  “And?” Konnor took a seat on the couch.

  “Two weeks ago, Dr. Weston suddenly resigned from his job at Fermilab,” Slater continued. “Two days after his resignation an offshore account in his name was opened with an initial deposit of half a million.”

  “I know there’s a point somewhere,” Konnor groused, even though he knew the information Slater was providing was far from inconsequential.

  “Indeed there is. The good doctor arrives in Charlotte this very afternoon. He is here only until tomorrow morning. When he leaves he will be headed for the Middle East.”

  “And you think this Weston has something we want,” Konnor said.

  “Oh, it’s much more than that.” Slater smiled. “Weston is here for a very specific purpose. He made a call to Dr. Laserian yesterday, requesting that she meet with him upon his arrival in Charlotte. It seems he needs her help on something and indicated that it was quite urgent. He would not go into details over the phone, which suggests that he at least suspects he may be under surveillance.”

  “He wants to see Senna?” Despite what he knew from the file he had read on her, Konnor was surprised. After yesterday he found it hard to believe that she could have anything to do with this situation. She might be a brilliant physicist, but she didn’t seem the type to be involved in something like this.

  Unless she’s a better actress than I gave her credit for, he considered, then immediately dismissed the idea. He had witnessed firsthand how shaken she had been when she witnessed the scene between her date and his partner. She had not been acting. Nor did he believe she could have faked what happened between them. That was the genuine article. He was certain of it.

  This posed more of a problem for him than anything else. His reactions had been just as genuine. If he had not made love to her perhaps he could have continued to try and fool himself into believing that his involvement with her was nothing more than him doing his job. But he was not accustomed to lying to himself. What he felt for her was strictly personal and he was not at all sure he could turn his back on that.

  Rising, he walked over to the window so that Slater couldn’t see his face. He would take no chances on Slater suspecting that his feelings about Senna were anything other than professional. That would give Slater power that Konnor didn’t want him to have.

  There was a churning, seething mass of conflict eating away inside him. When he left Senna yesterday he had returned home to find Shen waiting for him. He didn’t have to tell Shen where he had been. Neither did he have to tell him that he was having extreme difficulty handling the way he felt. Shen knew after taking one look at him.

  Konnor had tried to deny it, but Shen didn’t tolerate lies. In the end, he had admitted the truth to Shen and accepted it himself. Now he would not try to deny that he was more attracted to her than he had believed was possible, nor would he deny that his feelings were not merely sexual. But he also could not deny that the mere fact that he felt
that way made him angry. Of all the women on this planet, why her? he asked himself, not for the first time. And what am I going to do about it?

  That was the crux of his problem. He could not turn away from the assignment now. There was too much at stake. Yet how could he let his feelings for one woman override the safety of possibly the entire world?

  There were no answers, at least none he’d been able to find. He had been asking himself these questions since he left her yesterday. The inability to resolve it had prevented him from getting in touch with her as he had promised.

  No, that’s a lie, he admitted to himself. The reason he hadn’t called was that he was afraid. Afraid that if he didn’t put some distance between them, get his bearings, that the feelings would win and he would not be able to do what he had to do.

  Abruptly, he turned to Slater. “What’s the plan?”

  Slater smiled and lit another cigarette. “Have a seat. You’re going to like this, Chase. It’s quite an elegant scenario.”

  Black Oak Grille

  Ryan had already gotten a table and was drinking a glass of iced tea when Senna arrived. She took a seat across from him and ordered a cup of coffee and a salad from the waiter before she even acknowledged Ryan.

  “I was worried,” he said when she finally looked at him.

  “About what?” she asked coolly. She was still angry for what she had seen happen between him and Paige. Not because she felt she had a claim on him but because he had done it in such a deceitful way.

  “Come on, Senna! Can’t we just be civil and talk about this like adults?”

  “We can certainly try,” she replied with the same frosty tone.

  “Look…” He leaned forward and propped his arms on the table. “I know Paige was…well, she was out of line, and I’m sorry that she embarrassed you. I swear I didn’t know anything about it. Hell, I didn’t even know you had a shrink! But that’s no reason to bolt the way you did.”

  “That’s not why I left,” she said and held up one hand to stay him when he started to speak. “But since you brought it up, let me say that I don’t blame you for Paige’s behavior. I won’t deny that I was surprised and humiliated by the way she made it sound, but I certainly don’t hold you accountable for that. Obviously, I’ve made the mistake of putting my trust in people who don’t deserve it. That’s no one’s fault but mine.”

  “Then why—” he cut in.

  “But,” she interrupted, “as I said, that’s not why I left.”

  The waiter arrived with their order and they both fell silent. “So why did you leave?” Ryan asked as soon as the waiter left.

  “I saw you and Paige in the den.” She looked straight at him as she answered.

  Ryan’s eyes widened and surprise registered clearly on his face, but he recovered and looked down at his plate. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Don’t deny it,” she said in a low voice. “I saw you.”

  “Just what is it you thought you saw?”

  Senna gave him a hard look. “Ryan, I’m not going to play games with you. I know there’s something going on between you and Paige. No, before you say anything, let me finish. Maybe I overreacted by leaving. I’m not saying that I didn’t. But at the time I was surprised and upset.”

  “I’m not having an affair with her!” His voice rose.

  Senna looked around to see if they were attracting attention. She had no desire to be the lunchtime spectacle. “It doesn’t matter,” she said. “Ryan, you’re perfectly free to see whomever you choose. I certainly don’t have the right to say otherwise. You don’t owe me any explanations or excuses. But I won’t get into some contest with Paige for your attention. I told you in the beginning that I don’t play games. We’ve had a good time and I care for you, but I don’t like being lied to and I won’t be in a relationship with someone I can’t trust. So I think the best thing we can do is just go our separate ways and—”

  “I said I’m not having an affair with her!”

  “Maybe not.” Senna studied his face. “But you want to.”

  He blinked as if in surprise then sat back. She pushed her untouched salad aside and stirred sugar into her coffee. “I do have eyes, Ryan. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. And the way you look at her. You can deny it if you like, but it won’t change anything. You want her.”

  “Look, Paige and I are partners. When you work with someone day in and day out you begin to develop—”

  “I know the song,” she cut him off. “And whether or not it’s valid isn’t something I care to get into because it doesn’t change anything. Anyway, I have to go. I have a lot to do before my next class.”

  “Wait!” Ryan stood as she picked up the ticket and walked to the register.

  “I’ve got it,” he said as she reached for her billfold to pay the cashier.

  “Thank you,” she nodded and headed for the door. Ryan caught up with her before she reached her car.

  “Can we please try and work this out?” He caught her hand in his.

  Conflicting emotions swirled inside her as she looked at him. She did care for him and she had enjoyed going out with him. Two days ago, if someone had asked if she was happy with her relationship she probably would have said yes. Now she realized she couldn’t ever be happy in a relationship with Ryan. Not because of what had happened between him and Paige. Because of Konnor Chase.

  Even though he hadn’t called and might not ever, she knew that what she felt for him was not imagined. She had fallen for him, and it was real. Knowing that, she couldn’t pretend to have a relationship with Ryan. It wouldn’t be fair to either one of them.

  “I don’t think so,” she said quietly. “I think it’s time to let go.”

  “Why? Because I made one stupid mistake? Senna, it didn’t mean anything. I mean, it was just…it was a mistake, okay? A mistake that’ll never happen again. I swear!”

  She shook her head. “Ryan, I just don’t think—”

  “Just give it a chance, okay? You’re hurt and upset right now and not thinking straight. Just give it a little time before you call it quits. I swear I’m not involved with Paige and I’m not going to be. I don’t want to lose you.”

  Senna didn’t want to remain standing in the parking lot discussing their relationship with people wandering by. “I have to go, Ryan.” She pulled her hand free from his. “I’m sorry, but I have a class to teach.”

  “Let’s get together tonight.”

  “I can’t,” she said as she unlocked her car door. “An old friend from Chicago is coming in to town for the night and we’re having dinner.”

  “Then tomorrow,” he pressed, holding her door so that she couldn’t close it as she got in the car.

  “Okay,” she agreed to pacify him.

  “I’ll pick you up at seven.”

  She nodded and he closed the door. She backed out of the parking space and pulled off. Things had not gone exactly as she had hoped. And the truth was, if Konnor had not come into her life, she probably would have forgiven Ryan’s indiscretion with Paige and continued their relationship.

  But was Konnor really in her life? She had to be realistic. She might have been nothing more than a one-night stand for him. Was that all it was? She didn’t know the answer and didn’t want to think about it anymore. Her world seemed to have tilted when Walter was murdered and she didn’t know how to right it. Maybe Ian could help. She certainly hoped so because for the first time she could remember she felt as if she was incapable of dealing with things alone.

  University of North Carolina at Charlotte

  “Dr. Laserian?”

  Senna stopped in the process of unlocking her car and turned. Mike Harper ran over to her. “I’m glad I caught you. I left a couple of messages. I guess you didn’t get them.”

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Harper.” She had gotten his messages, but had not seen a point in trying to contact him. He was not interested in physics or his performance in her class, and she had no de
sire to be involved with a student. “I really am in a bit of a hurry.”

  “I just need a second.” He took her arm.

  She looked down at his hand wrapped around her forearm then up at him. “Let go.”

  “Sorry.” He released her. “It’s just that I’ve been trying to get up with you and…well, you seem to be avoiding me. Have I done something wrong?”

  “I have a lot of students, Mr. Harper.” She inched toward the door. “And a heavy class load. As rude as it may sound I simply don’t have time to take every call that comes in.”

  “Why do you always run away?” He moved closer.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about and right now I don’t have time for this conversation, so if you’ll excuse me.”

  He grabbed her again as she turned to open the door. “Senna, wait! I have to— Jesus Christ, you crazy bitch!” he screamed and yowled as she twisted her arm, wrapping it under his, breaking his hold and giving his arm a good twist.

  “Go home, Mr. Harper. We have nothing to discuss.”

  “We have a hell of a lot to discuss.” He full-body pressed her back against the car. “Like the way you keep leading me on then pushing me away.”

  “That’s ridiculous.” She pushed him back a few inches.

  “Like hell it is!” He tried to press closer. “We both know there’s chemistry here. Why won’t you admit it?”

  Senna gave him a good shove, and jerked her car door open as he stumbled back. He reached for her and she blocked his hand away. “That’s enough, Mr. Harper. I suggest you leave before I’m forced to call campus security.”

  “Why are you doing this?”

  There was no way she was going to let the situation go any further. She got in her car and sped away, leaving her student standing the parking lot watching her.

  “Great!” she grumbled. “As if things weren’t bad enough. Now I’ve got a Lothario to contend with.”