Where You Are

by Alla Kar

  Lucas jabs his thumb toward Jen. “Nah, bro. Not interested.”

  I smile to myself. It’s nice to hear that my friend has finally grown up. About damn time. He was the player of all players in high school. Jen sets our drinks down a few minutes later, and I order some nachos.

  “So,” Lucas says, chugging his drink. “You found anyone special down under?”

  I down half my beer and wipe my mouth. No, I haven’t. The truth is that I haven’t even looked at another girl since senior year. Sure, I’ve fucked plenty of them. But fucking and actually finding someone special are two completely different things. I shrug. “Just the normal one-nighters, no one special.”

  Lucas frowns, but tries to hide it with his drink. “Well, if you’re feeling froggy tonight, there is a girl to your left that has been checking you out since we walked in the door.”

  Lifting an eyebrow, I glance over my shoulder. A blond—long legs, tight Band-Aid dress—is staring at me from the bar. She blushes, then turns toward her friend. “Well, hot fucking damn,” I say, taking a sip. “I’ll be right back.”

  Lucas chuckles as I get up. I can feel the beer start to tingle through me. It doesn’t take much. That’s how I like it. The blond is leaning against the bar when I get to her. She isn’t as attractive up close, but she’s pretty cute. Her hair isn’t as long as I like and her skirt is way too short.

  “Hi, luv. Having a great night?”

  Her bleached brows pull down in the middle, but she giggles regardless. “You’re foreign.” She giggles again, running her hand against my chest. Her eyes widen. I work out…a lot. It’s the only pleasure I get besides drinking myself to sleep and sometimes we all need a break from Jack Daniels.

  “Australian, doll. What’s your name? And better yet, why are you all alone?”

  Flipping her blond hair, she pokes out her chest. That’s fucking right, she has some nice tits. “Amanda,” she purrs. “What’s yours?”

  I shake my head. I don’t want to tell her. Not that it matters or she’ll remember tomorrow, but I don’t like to tell them. “Does it matter? Let’s go dance.”

  She shrugs, gives her purse to her friend, and follows me out to the dance floor. We maneuver through the bodies until we get to the center of room. She automatically presses her tight ass against my dick. Fuck…it’s been a week since I’ve had sex and it feels like three. I grab her waist, grinding her against me. She isn’t that great of a dancer, but who gives a fuck, right? She slings her head back and forth as she continues to dance on me. My dick protests, wondering why I haven’t pressed her against the bathroom wall and fucked her yet. The beer is starting to creep up on me, making me sway along with the music better.

  She doesn’t complain when I reach my hands up her dress and cup her. She’s warm and wet beneath her knickers. She moans when I touch the fabric. “Why doesn’t your pretty ass follow me? I’m sure I can make you feel better, baby.”

  A loud moan leaves her lips and she is nodding like a bobblehead before I can finish my sentence. I tug on her waist, pressing her body against mine. She feels…almost right. Almost like I remember her feeling like. Then she reaches up and pulls at my jaw, trying to force my mouth down on hers. It’s sloppy, unattractive, and needy. I maneuver my mouth away from her, and she whines.

  Great.

  Lucas isn’t sitting at our table anymore, but I don’t care. I need this release, I need to feel…something. Half-carrying her drunk ass, I open the men’s bathroom door and lock it behind me. She is pulling off her dress as soon as I turn around.

  Her matching black knickers are tight to her, her large breasts spilling over her bra. Biting my lip, I grip her waist and lift her up onto the wall. She lets out a yelp and giggles loudly in my ear.

  I don’t even care that she is wasted, or that she smells like alcohol and too much perfume. I’m going to bury myself inside of her until she screams. With her help, we get her underwear off. She reaches for my jaw, forcing me to kiss her. I pull back and nuzzle my head into her neck. I don’t kiss. Not on the mouth, at least. It leads to emotions that I don’t want or need from a girl. Would it feel nice? Maybe. I don’t care. I haven’t kissed anyone since senior year, when I kissed all over her dainty body. Her soft, pink lips. Her eyes, nose, chin, stomach, anything she would let me.

  No—I won’t think about it. Not now. I position myself while I pull a condom from my back pocket. A few seconds later, I slide inside of her. She throws her head back, slamming it against the wooden bathroom door. “Fuck,” she yells.

  Gripping her waist, I slam into her again, not caring that she is being loud. Not caring that she is enjoying this way more than I am. I just need this release. Her martini breath is close and hot on my face. I can sense her wanting me to kiss her, but I bite her neck instead.

  “Ah,” she groans, pushing down on my dick. Grabbing her ass, I continue to pump inside of her, ignoring her unattractive moans in my ear. I’m never as happy as when I come. She is shaking around me, grabbing at my skin like she doesn’t want me to let go. “More,” she slurs. “Me want more.”

  Suddenly aggravated, I drop her until she is standing in front of me. Her face is flushed and her titties hang over her bra. “That was enough,” I snap. I know I’m not mad at her, I’m mad at myself. But this is the only way to get her to leave.

  She pouts, grabs her clothes, and walks out of the bathroom in her knickers. Standing in front of the sink, I lean over, splashing water in my face. Feeling like an ass has become who I am now. I can hardly find the guilt that I’ve pushed so far into the back of my mind.

  I walk into the bar and find Lucas at the counter. He lifts an eyebrow. “Having fun, bro?”

  I shrug, slap a ten down, and gesture for the bartender to keep them coming. “I feel better.” Which we both know is a damned lie. I don’t feel better, I feel better for right now. Only because there is alcohol coursing through my body and I just busted a nut.

  “After this round we need to head to the apartment. We have a wedding rehearsal to go to Sunday. And we know it takes you damn near two days to recover from this.”

  I nod. I seriously need a fag. I would do anything to light up a cigarette and inhale. “Sure.”

  “Was she as good as she looked?”

  Damn, my mate knows me well. “I’ve had better.”

  Chapter Four

  Laney

  “Flaws, we need them to be who we are” - Bastille

  “It worked.”

  I glance over my glasses. Bethany is staring past me, and I’m afraid to turn around and see what she is talking about. I’m pretty sure I know. The chair next to me scoots against the library floor and then squeaks underneath someone’s weight.

  Glancing to my side, I see Aiden staring at me. “Laney, right?” He is smiling, giving me his best I’m a good boy smirk. Yeah, like I’d fall for that. I almost laugh.

  I nod, continuing to stare at my book. Don’t make too much eye contact, it’ll be all over as soon as you look into those big brown eyes. “That’s me.”

  Aiden smirks, turning his chair toward me. His knees touch my thigh. “I met you last night at The Loft. You—you kind of ran off before I could get you your drink. What happened?”

  “Got busy. Had to leave. You know, some stuff came up. Sorry.” I grab my highlighter and start to highlight some of my history material.

  There is a long silence. Bethany is trying to act nonchalant but I can feel her eyes on us.

  “Okay—are you going to let me make it up to you? We could go out.”

  I fake a yawn and scratch my neck. Playing it cool is starting to make him nervous. I swear I see him flinch. “Actually, I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. I have homework and work. I’m kind of booked. Thanks for asking though.”

  More silence. I mean the uncomfortable type. Looking up, I almost laugh. Aiden’s got a deer-in-the-headlight look on his face. He isn’t used to getting turned down, obviously.

  “Well, maybe tomorr
ow then? I have a rehearsal dinner for my cousin’s wedding. Want to be my date?” He tugs on his shirt collar before returning his hands to his lap

  “Umm…” I trail off, biting my lip. “I don’t know…”

  “One date,” he says. “Come out with me tomorrow and if I’m as awful as you’re making me feel right now, then I’ll leave you alone.”

  Good, that’s how you make everyone else feel. Bethany kicks me under the table. I give her a warning glare. I know what I’m doing. “Okay, just this once.”

  Aiden’s eyes widen and he stands up. “You won’t regret this, Laney. I’ll come by your room at five tomorrow. Sound good?”

  “Room 406,” I say and then shoo him away with my hand.

  He frowns but glances over at Bethany. “Brittany, right?”

  Bethany’s eyes fall and she grits her teeth. If I had an egg, I could cook it on her forehead. “Yep, Brittany.” She waits until he is out of sight before gaping at me. “What. An. Ass. But holy shit, did you see the way he was acting? Like a damn puppy dog. I think I’m definitely going to have to take your advice.”

  Rolling my eyes, I point toward my homework. “Okay, enough of Douchebag McGhee. Let’s get these history notes down.”

  ***

  After studying and helping out at the writing center, I go back to my dorm. Heather is out with Todd, so I have the room to myself. I turn the radio up and begin to pick out what to wear tomorrow. I don’t go to a lot of wedding rehearsals, and I didn’t even think you brought dates to them. But whatever. My closet shows exactly how much I go out, which is never. So I look in Heather’s. Even though I’m much shorter, I can wear her dresses because she wears them way too small.

  Taking my time, I try on different ones until I stop on a short black dress, low-cut in the front and tight against my butt. I’m twirling around when my heel snags on one of Heather’s shoes and I go sailing forward into the closet.

  “Fuck,” I shout, covering my head as boxes fall from the top. I wait a few seconds before I uncover my head. There are shoe boxes, backpacks, and miscellaneous things scattered around me. “Well, that’s just great.” Groaning, I stand up slowly until I’m leaning on the clothes rack for support.

  I slip out of my shoes before I do any more falling, and bend down to clean up. I’m halfway finished when I see a box. The box. My body begins to shake thinking about him. Why is this box in here? It must have gotten shoved in with Heather’s things. No, no, no. I won’t cry. I won’t.

  Gathering my papers, I stop when my hand lands on a picture of us. Of him. Of us happy, together, smiling. Tears build in my eyes, and a hard lump forms in my throat. I slide my fingertip across the picture as a tear drops on his face. God, he was so beautiful. So perfect. So honest. So everything I wanted in a guy.

  Until I fucked it up. Until I left him begging me to stay. Until I threw away my entire life for a stupid, selfish reason. Anger rises within me; I stand, kick the box, and throw the picture into the back of the closet. Shutting the door, I let myself fall to the floor.

  Tears. Pain. Selfishness. All because of me.

  I cry for hours. Not sure how many exactly, but until my eyes refuse to produce any more tears. I crawl into bed and toss the covers over my head. I fall to sleep with tear-soaked cheeks.

  ***

  “I’m not sure this is a good idea.” I look down at the small black camera on the end of my necklace. You can’t even tell it isn’t a real pendant.

  Bethany straightens my necklace and laughs. “Sure it is. I got it from Nick, the tech guy in the University’s IT department. He says it works one hundred percent. Now we can watch as Aiden’s life unravels in front of us.” She laughs a Plankton evil laugh.

  I snort and pull at my dress. “What if he finds it?” Jeez, I didn’t realize we were going all Spy Kids on this.

  Heather laughs from her desk. “Yeah the fuck right. Do you think Aiden would be able to figure that out? I had him in Geology last year. He isn’t that bright.”

  Sliding into Heather’s heels, I snicker. “Okay, but if he does, I’m ratting both of you out.”

  “He won’t, so don’t worry about it. I can’t believe we’re doing this. What’s your plan? Anything we need to know? What if he tries to kiss you? Will you let him? Oh, God. What if he tries to rape you! We will never get there quick enough. I mean—”

  “Bethany,” I say, placing my hands on her shoulders. “Calm down. He won’t. There will be hundreds of people there. I wish I weren’t one of them. Damn, I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

  Three loud knocks on the door make me jump. Bethany looks at me, eyes wide. She runs and dives underneath my bed. I’m not sure why. He doesn’t remember who she is anyway. Heather opens the door and gestures for Aiden to come in. He is wearing a tux, tightly fitted to his upper body. If I didn’t know how much of an ass he is, I would be impressed.

  The blond in his hair isn’t as bright with his hair brushed back, but it suits him. “You look—wow—great. Are you ready to go?” Aiden asks.

  I try not to smile. I haven’t had anyone say I look that good since high school. I take Heather’s Coach wallet and walk into the hallway with him. I’m suddenly nervous, sweat building underneath my armpits.

  Aiden turns and offers me his elbow. Wow, so the ass does know manners. “Thank you for giving me a chance, Laney. You won’t regret it. Despite what you’ve heard, I do know how to treat a lady.”

  Then why the fuck don’t you? I smirk. “We’ll see,” I say, before following him down the stairs. He keeps a tight grip on my waist; I’m not sure if it’s out of niceness, or if he’s trying to feel my up.

  I watch as he leads me toward his BMW; of course he drives one. A nice-ass BMW, at that. He opens the door for me and I slide into the leather. It smells like Heaven. Aiden starts the car and backs out of the dorm parking lot.

  “So, what’s your major?”

  Damn, and everything was going so well. Why did he have to open his mouth at all?

  I shrug. “Undecided.”

  Aiden relaxes a bit and turns down Central. “Oh. Well, I guess you still have time. I’m going into business. My dad owns a car dealership here and I’m going to take over once I graduate. I can’t wait. It was like I was meant to sell cars.”

  Sleazy. Check. Good-looking. Check. Rich. Check. Smooth-talker. Check. He is definitely meant to sell cars. “Sounds…fun.”

  He nods, then sits up in his seat. “Here we are. You nervous? Don’t be. It’s just my cousin Savannah. She is marrying some guy I don’t know. Anyway, I’m one of the groomsmen. Let’s go. Hold on.” He parks, gets out, and opens the door for me.

  I figure that Aiden would be great as an escort. He has that charm about him and I’m sure giving his clients some penis would never be a problem.

  The church is a large Baptist church off of Central. There are many cars here. Tons. I am actually a little nervous. My hands are starting to sweat. Not because I’m on a date with Aiden, but because I’m out in public with Aiden. He isn’t someone I want to hang around. But, I figure if I’m going to teach him a big lesson it may be worth it.

  The wide double doors are open when we walk in. Flower vases sit on each end of the aisle. A man in a tux stands by the entrance. “You two here for the rehearsal? Everyone is in the community room. Right down the hall to the left.”

  Aiden nods and squeezes my arm. I’m almost thankful for him because I’m feeling a bit dizzy. I may have fallen over if he wasn’t holding on to me like a possession.

  The chatter is loud when we round the corner to the community room. Aiden helps me down the few stairs. At least fifty people are standing around, chatting, laughing, and eating.

  Aiden leans down and whispers into my ear, “We’re going to find my cousin. Do you want something to drink?”

  I shake my head quickly. I don’t want him to leave me alone in a room full of people I don’t know. “No,” I say.

  He smiles and leads me toward a group of p
eople against the far wall. Aiden taps on a short brunette’s shoulder. She turns and squeals. “Aiden, I’m so glad you’re here. I wasn’t sure if you’d be late. We all know you…Oh, who is this?” she asks, a smile riding her lips.

  Great. She seems normal; she must be wondering why I’m being fooled by Aiden. “This is Laney, my date. Laney, this is Savannah, my cousin. She is the one getting married.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Laney. Thanks for coming.” She hugs me, and I relax. At least they seem down to earth.

  “You too. You look wonderful.”

  She grins and pokes Aiden in the ribs. “You didn’t tell me your date would be so pretty, Aiden.”

  Aiden glances down at me, his white smile almost flattering. “She sure is. So, where is this groom of yours? I’ve only met him once, a while ago.”

  “Oh,” Savannah says, pressing her fingernail to her lips. “There they are. Baby—over here!” She starts to jump up and down.

  Aiden presses his hand against my back and I turn to look at her groom. He isn’t what catches my eye. It’s the six foot two inch guy trailing behind him. His tux is fitted to his wide shoulders all the way down to his slender waist. Lachlan.

  Oh, God. I always laughed at people when they said time slowed down when they saw someone. But now I’m not laughing. Time has definitely slowed down.

  He runs his fingers through his short black hair. I take a large breath, wondering what in the fuck I’ve got myself into. He is here. In front of me. Walking toward me. His swagger is still flawless, his stride wide and determined. His green eyes are clear, radiating perfection. His jaw moves as he swallows, forcing me to look at his lips. Oh, fuck. His lips. Those lips. The only lips. They were all over me, all the time, kissing, soft against my skin.

  He smiles politely and glances my way. Realization passes over his face. His eyes widen. I feel sick. Vomit is rising in my throat. This. Can. Not. Be. Happening. Breathe, Laney. Breathe.

  Just as Lachlan gets to us, I do what anyone would do. I turn and run toward the bathroom. My heart is hammering in my chest. I can’t do this. I have to go home. I make it to the bathroom, which unfortunately doesn’t lock.