An Unsuitable Mother

by Sheelagh Kelly

  In that bittersweet moment, Nell did not know whether to cry at his leaving, or rejoice at this opportunity to spend the night together. She chose the latter, giving breathless reply. ‘Oh, Billy, do you have to ask?’ And her expression poured with willingness as she gazed into that fine-looking face that shone with love for her.

  ‘I hoped you’d say that, so I’ve already booked a place in Scarborough – actually, a pal’s arranged it for me, it belongs to his aunty. I got him to say we’ll be on honeymoon.’ He shared a grin with her. ‘It’s nothing posh, I’m afraid, and it’s full of evacuees, but everywhere else is taken by the army.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter, so long as we can be together!’ Nell performed a little dance of joy. There followed a brief run-through of Billy’s secret plan – where to meet, what to bring – then Nell voiced her one worry. ‘I’ll have to fabricate an excuse for my parents …’

  ‘Oh, well, that’s it then, we’ll have to call it off.’ He was obviously joking.

  She pressed herself against him, seduction in her eyes. ‘Don’t you dare! Seriously, though, it’s going to be very cloak and dagger, they always want to know my every movement.’ She had only managed to meet him by coinciding their assignations with her first-aid classes and pretending she would be staying behind to chat with female friends.

  Billy thought of something else. ‘Would they open any letters I might send?’

  ‘What do you mean might send?’ she scolded. ‘I’ll expect one every single day – that’s how often I’ll be writing to you.’

  Billy grinned, and said that of course he would.

  Nell told him then, ‘No, they don’t go so far as to open my mail, but one never knows what they might do if they’re suspicious, so maybe you could send them via Mrs Precious.’ This was Billy’s landlady in York, with whom she was acquainted. ‘Then I could collect them on my way home from work.’

  But then her eyes misted over, and she clung to him, her joy over the weekend tryst overshadowed by the thought that it would signal his departure. ‘Oh God, how am I ever going to exist without you?’

  Billy was trying to quash her look of despair with a beer-flavoured kiss when a male voice called, ‘Are you out there, Eleanor?’

  Both of them instantly alert, Billy gestured for her to remain silent, then stepped from behind the shed and greeted the intruder. ‘No, just me, I’m afraid, chum, enjoying the last of me fag.’ He drew Ronald to him and kept him occupied, allowing Nell to sneak around the far side of the shed, and along the gap between that and the fence. On tenterhooks as her feet encountered dried and crackling branches, she finally managed to reach the outside closet.

  A few moments later there came the sound of a clanking chain and flushing, and Nell emerged. Ronald turned at the sound and exclaimed, ‘Ah, there you are! Aunty Thelma’s keen to be off, I think.’ Then all three went back into the house.

  ‘We do have indoor facilities,’ chided Aunt Phyllis when it was announced where Ronald had found her, obviously embarrassed at being thought of as the poor relation in front of visitors, and especially her sister-in-law Thelma, who always displayed the best.

  Noticing bits of foliage stuck to her clothes, Nell brushed them away and looked flustered. ‘I just thought as I was out there – right, I’m ready when you are, Mother.’

  Stan moved forward to fulfil his guarantee, but: ‘We’ll all escort you,’ put in Billy, and, grinning encouragement, he crooked each arm and invited the women to link theirs with him. ‘Jerry won’t dare harm you with us in tow.’

  Nell felt a rush of warmth, but looked to her mother before making a move.

  Thelma appeared similarly pleased, though tendered, ‘Is it not out of your way, boys?’

  ‘No! We’ll be heading towards town anyway.’ And so, at Billy’s generous insistence, Thelma and Nell hooked their arms through his.

  ‘How come you always get the girls?’ teased his army pals as they made their exit, yawping goodbyes as they left.

  With everyone slightly tipsy, weaving a rather uneven route through the blackout, the soldiers continued to be good company on the way home. With her mother obviously taken with their repartee, Nell sought to enlist the young men as support, and aired the topic she had been wanting to put forth for a while.

  She began with a positive comment, trying to sound chatty as they ambled along with the others close behind and the whiff of cigarette smoke on the air. ‘Mrs Benson thinks I should easily get my first-aid diploma. Apparently I’m one of her top pupils.’ It was not in Nell’s character to brag, but in her mother’s case it always paid.

  ‘I should hope so.’ Thelma withdrew a handkerchief from her bag and dabbed it over her perspiring brow, adding to the man on her arm, ‘Eleanor had a very good education, Billy. She was always top of the class – and head girl of her school. We’re very proud of her.’

  ‘I can tell that, Mrs Spottiswood.’ Billy smiled through the dark, and secretly squeezed Nell’s arm in the crook of his, as his sweetheart continued:

  ‘She says, that it seems such a waste not to make full use of it, and that I should volunteer for one of the first-aid posts on an evening, but I’ve been thinking, I’d like to do something even more positive for the war effort – certainly do more than sit behind a typewriter.’ Nell worked in an office of the civil service, but was still on the lower rungs of the ladder. ‘You know, to feel that I was really doing something tangible to help – like you and father, and these brave chaps here. So what if I applied to become a nurse?’

  ‘As a full-time occupation?’ quizzed her mother doubtfully. ‘After your father went to all that trouble to get you the job? Throw away your typing and shorthand qualifications?’

  ‘They wouldn’t be wasted!’ Nell hated her working environ ment, but for now sought to cajole her mother with the premise, ‘I can always return to the office after the war.’

  ‘That’s true, Mrs Spottiswood!’ chipped in one of the squaddies from the rear. ‘They’re crying out for nurses. My sister’s gone to be one, and very proud of her we are.’

  Thelma glanced round briefly at the speaker, and then back at her daughter. ‘Yes, but the training would take years, wouldn’t it? The war might be over –’

  ‘Oh, I don’t mean to go on the register,’ said Nell quickly. ‘That would take years, yes. I just mean in an assistant capacity.’

  Her mother tutted. ‘Why not be a proper nurse? That’s just like my daughter!’ She glanced around to roll her eyes at the soldiers. ‘Always goes for half-measure because she can’t be bothered!’

  Nell felt belittled, and was glad of Billy’s support.

  ‘I can’t believe that, Mrs Spottiswood. She strikes me as very capable.’

  ‘Yes, I agree, she is, when she puts her mind to it – and she’d want to be, the money that’s been spent on her,’ laughed the woman on his right, using his arm to steady herself as she tottered off a kerb, in spite of there being a white line to define it.

  Nell jumped in, craning her neck around Billy to exclaim, ‘Well, that’s partly what swayed it, Mother!’ She had to box clever here, for Mother was touchy on the subject of finances, there must be no intimation of poverty, even though any reduction in Nell’s wage would mean hardship. The Spottiswoods had sacrificed much in their pursuit of their daughter’s betterment. ‘I wouldn’t be able to pay my way if I had to fork out for the registration fee, the textbooks, the exams, pencils, et cetera …’

  ‘And if you want her to go back to secretarial work after the war, Mrs Spottiswood –’ began Billy.

  ‘Of course we do, she has a fine career ahead of her!’

  ‘Until she marries, naturally,’ added Billy, receiving a swift dig from Nell’s elbow.

  ‘That will definitely be a long way off,’ laughed Thelma. ‘We’ve invested so much in her, the last thing we want is for her to throw it all away by tying herself to the first young man who comes along, and to become a dull little housewife.’

  ‘B
ut you’re a housewife and you’re not dull,’ flattered Billy.

  Nell’s mother gave a simpering laugh. ‘Oh, you’re so gallant, dear! But no, Eleanor’s father and I have agreed – he’s very progressive that way – the further she climbs in her career, the more assured her future. If she does choose to marry, when she’s much, much older, well, by then she will be able to raise her sights considerably.’

  Billy seemed unfazed, laughing as he asked, ‘What if she has other ideas?’

  Again Nell dealt him a nudge that warned, I’m going to kill you if you don’t shut up! But to her mother she said, ‘We’re getting off the subject here! As Reg said before, Mother, they’re crying out for nurses of any variety. Mrs Benson tells me the time I spent helping you look after Grandma should ensure that I can attain my certificate of home nursing.’ For the last couple of years until her grandmother had recently passed away, of her own volition Nell had helped her mother tend the bedridden old lady. It had been her own idea, too, to attend the first-aid course. ‘I do so want to do my bit, and I just thought you’d prefer it if I kept my options open for after the war …’

  With Mother still looking unsure, perhaps a little dig was warranted. ‘Of course, with the wage being only two pounds a week, I realise that would leave you short –’

  ‘It won’t make that much difference.’ Thelma turned airy.

  ‘So you don’t mind then?’ badgered Nell.

  ‘Oh, I suppose it’s a reasonable enough suggestion,’ decided her mother, wanting to leave the subject behind, for the lateness of the hour had just caught up with her. ‘I’ll speak to your father about it.’

  ‘Oh, good!’ Guessing it would have met with blank refusal had the soldiers not been there, Nell grinned at Billy in relief, and experienced a surge of enthusiasm at the prospect of taking a genuine part in the defence of Britain. ‘I’ll apply as soon as I can get my certificates and references then.’ In fact she had already filled in the pink application form of the Civil Nursing Reserve.

  Almost to the avenue where they lived, Thelma showed reluctance to leave the young soldiers. ‘Well, boys, it’s been thoroughly marvellous having your company, but we’ll say goodnight to you here, so as not to delay you. Thank you so much for accompanying us.’

  ‘The pleasure’s all ours, Mrs Spottiswood!’ Billy released her arm, and to murmurs of agreement from his friends, added, ‘We hope to meet you again sometime – oh, I almost took this one by mistake!’ Pretending that he had been about to move off with Nell still attached to his arm, he donned his wide, attractive smile and made great ceremony of handing the daughter over. ‘That’d earn me a right ticking off, and no mistake!’

  And upon Thelma’s laughing agreement, he managed to slip a secret wink to Nell, before he and his friends melted into the night.

  ‘They were nice sociable chaps, weren’t they?’ opined her mother, as she and Nell undertook the last fifty yards through the darkness unescorted. ‘Especially Billy. And so good-looking – distinguished, even. I wonder what he did before the war?’

  Her mind still crammed with thoughts of her loved one, the smell and touch of him, Nell responded without thinking. ‘He’s a carpenter.’

  ‘I never heard that arise in conversation,’ frowned Thelma.

  Realising her mistake, Nell said quickly, ‘I think I overheard Ronny mention it.’

  Her mother issued a sage nod. ‘Yes, I thought with that accent it had to be something, well, practical shall we say – not that it matters,’ she added charitably, ‘he’s the salt of the earth.’

  It would matter if you knew I was planning to marry him, though, came Nell’s grim thought.

  ‘With chaps like him we’re sure to win – oh, thank goodness, your father’s safely home!’ Thelma had noticed that the gate was open. Her husband always did this, no matter how many times she went to close it after him, and in the knowledge that he was unharmed, her next comment was tinged with displeasure. ‘I do hope he hasn’t brought the stench of beer and cigarettes home with him again. Your Aunty Phyllis might not care that her upholstery reeks like a saloon bar, but I do. He seems to have gone completely wild since he joined that Home Guard.’

  Nell clicked the latch behind them. ‘Do you mind if I rush straight to bed? Or I’ll never get up for work in the morning.’

  As she headed upstairs, her mind and body were ticking over at the thought of her coming weekend with Billy.

  2

  It turned out that she was to be late for work anyway, but it didn’t matter for so were plenty of others. The previous night’s raid had been successful – for Jerry that was – sixty-nine houses near the cemetery being damaged, leaving two seriously injured, over one hundred and fifty with minor wounds, and causing all sorts of problems with the flow of traffic around York’s narrow streets, mostly due to sightseers clustering to gawp.

  Apart from twittering over the matter with colleagues when she finally arrived, for once Nell was to suppress her curiosity and focus on more pertinent matters. Hence, over the next few days and evenings, eager for change – eager for anything that might help the time up to meeting Billy go more quickly – she was to acquire her two certificates, plus the necessary references, one from her first-aid instructor, the other from her old headmistress, and then submit her application to be a nursing auxiliary. Applying personally in her lunch hour on Thursday, her keenness, intelligence and smart appearance being viewed most favourably, on the heels of her interview came acceptance.

  It was with pride that she was able to announce to her mother that evening, ‘I’m going to be working on one of the ambulance trains – I start a week on Monday!’

  For once, Thelma was magnanimous. ‘Very well done, dear!’

  Basking in this praise, Nell chattered away about her new post whilst her mother carried on preparing the evening meal, which smelled delicious as usual.

  ‘But won’t your employer require a month’s notice?’ cautioned Thelma, looking suddenly distracted as beads of moisture sprang to her brow.

  ‘No, they’re willing to accept a week as it’s such a worthy cause,’ said Nell, her mind moving to Billy, with whom she had managed to steal a few hours on Tuesday evening after first aid, but who remained ignorant of her success. She couldn’t wait to give him the news, and the thought of this made her clasp her hands. ‘Isn’t it exciting! But I’ll miss my friends, of course.’ Having struggled to devise a plan of how to gain parental consent to go away without them, she had now seen a way forward. ‘Oh, before I forget, Barbara’s parents have invited me to spend the weekend at their house in Scarborough. Was it all right to accept?’

  Slightly hot and bothered as she went about the kitchen, Thelma paused in her preparation of dinner. ‘Barbara … was that the girl you introduced me to in town the other week?’

  ‘No, that was Enid.’

  Her mother looked only slightly relieved. ‘Good, she wasn’t the kind I’d like you to spend time with. Very flighty.’ She elbowed her daughter out of the way in order to transport a saucepan from the gas stove to the sink. ‘Will you please shift? And hand me that masher – and lay the table, your father will be in any second.’ Once assisted, she drained the potatoes, raising a brief cloud of steam from the sink, then began to mash them as she went on to ask, ‘Well, who is this Barbara then?’

  ‘Oh, just a workmate.’ Collecting a handful of knives, forks and spoons, Nell tried to sound casual, but it obviously emerged as dismissive as she went to the dining room.

  ‘Really, Eleanor! She might be only a workmate to you, but she obviously holds you in much higher regard, or why would her parents have been kind enough to invite you into their home for the weekend? Having said that, I’d rather have met her before you accepted.’

  ‘She’s a perfectly respectable girl,’ replied Nell, ‘you’ve no need to interrogate her.’

  ‘I’d much rather form an opinion on that for myself – and don’t be so insolent!’ Thelma’s cross response was due as much
to the sweat that was streaming down her temples as to her thoughtless daughter.

  ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean it how it sounded.’ Nell tried to be helpful, lifting the warm plates off the rack before tendering, ‘So will you ask Father if it’ll be all right?’

  Her mother gave a snort. ‘I’m sure he’ll say the same as me – it will have to be all right, seeing as it would be rude to rescind your acceptance! Don’t mention it at the table or you’ll give him indigestion. I’ll speak to him later. Oh, the things you land me with!’ Having quickly drained all the vegetables and replaced them near the stove to keep warm, she went to throw open the larder door, tapping her lips thoughtfully as her eyes ran over the contents. ‘Now, what do I send?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well, you can’t arrive at someone’s house empty-handed! Not in these times of shortage.’

  Nell gave a negating smile. ‘Barbara’s parents won’t need it, they’re very well-off.’

  This was rather condescending in her mother’s opinion. But, before Thelma could object again, Nell added, ‘What I meant was, it’s not just me going, there’s a whole group of us, half a dozen – it’s a huge house apparently, so they can’t be short of a bob or two.’

  Her mother looked slightly relieved at not having to plunder her stock cupboard. ‘Well, I’ve no wish to insult – but you must reciprocate. Barbara must come to us sometime.’

  Nell gave a quick nod. ‘Should I take my ration book, do you think?’ Billy had warned her that she would have to hand this over to the proprietor of the hotel. This might be difficult as her mother had charge of it, but she added now, ‘Her parents might need it so they can purchase extra food.’