Lovestruck Forever

by Rachel Schurig

  “This is beautiful,” my mother said, looking around the room. “Laura is going to be thrilled!”

  “I hope so,” I said. “She deserves it.” I turned to my mom. “How are you, Mama? How are you feeling?”

  “I’m quite well,” she assured me, patting my face as she moved to the drink table to deposit a sleeve of paper cups. I watched her, marveling at how well she was getting around. A few months ago, it would have been difficult for her to walk while carrying anything in her hands, and now she barely seemed to be moving slowly.

  “Did you bring my punch bowl, Lizzie?” she called over her shoulder, pulling me from my musings on her health and reminding me that there was still work to do. I helped her to ready the old crystal punch bowl that her mother had been given for her own wedding decades ago. We filled it with our family recipe of lemonade, orange juice, Sprite, and raspberry sherbet. It might not be the most sophisticated punch mix, but it would always be my favorite.

  “Can we expect Sofia?” my mother asked softly while we worked.

  “I think so.” When I had left the house that morning, Sofie had assured me she’d been seeing me soon. Of course, there was always the chance she’d change her mind. She’d been going back and forth every time we talked about it since my return from London.

  “I hope so. You did tell her how happy we’d be to have her? That we wouldn’t let anyone make her feel uncomfortable?”

  “I did, Mama.” I felt a rush of affection for my mother and her concern for Sofie’s comfort. I wondered how she would have reacted if I found myself in Sofie’s position—unmarried and pregnant. I knew it wouldn’t have been her first choice for me, but I had a hard time imagining her being anything but supportive.

  “You know,” I went on, “I really think it helped her to get away with us in New York. You and Daddy treating her so normally made her feel loads better.”

  “I’m glad. I would hate for her to think that she wasn’t welcome, for any reason. We love her very much.”

  “I’ll keep reminding her of that.”

  After we finished with the punch, Maria, Carla, and I started pulling food from the fridge. We’d planned a menu of a variety of salads—pasta salads, various veggie salads, and chicken salad to be spread on the fresh croissants Sofie’s mom would be bringing. I’d spent the entire previous day at my parents’ house making all the food with Maria, and our hard work had paid off—everything looked delicious.

  Maria didn’t seem as impressed with our efforts. “Where is he?” she asked the room at large for the tenth time in as many minutes.

  “He’ll be here,” I told her, checking my own watch. Her husband José was cutting it a little close. His job for the day was to head down to Mexicantown to get the cake from Gloria’s and drop it off here at the church. Guests were supposed to start arriving in fifteen minutes, and still he wasn’t here. Then again, he did have both children with him. In my experience, JJ and little Sofia added a good twenty minutes to the best-laid schedules.

  Sure enough, he came through the door in the next minute. “Sorry,” he preemptively called out to his wife as he laid the cake down on the first card table he saw. “Your daughter got gum in her hair and absolutely threw a fit about it.”

  Maria scowled and strode to the table, popping the cake box open to peer down at it. “Well, it looks nice, at least.” She pointed at the table we had designated for desserts. “Please take it over there.”

  Before she could walk off to complete some task, José pulled her into an embrace, kissing the side of her face. “Nice to see you, too, dear wife.”

  She rolled her eyes, but I saw the hint of a smile on her face. They really were perfect for each other—José allowed her to fulfill her natural urges to control everything in life without taking any of it too seriously. His easy-going nature was the perfect complement to her anal-retentive ways.

  “Where are they kids?” she asked.

  “In the car.”

  “You should get back—they’ve probably ripped up all the upholstery by now.”

  “Sure thing, boss.” He smacked her butt lightly as he left, making her curse, and I laughed. They could be cute together when they wanted to be.

  Now that the cake was here, there wasn’t much else to do. I kept my eye on the door, thinking Sofie might come early so as to avoid walking into a room full of curious eyes.

  But Laura was the first to arrive. We all stopped what we were doing when she walked in, waiting for her reaction. I thought she might cry when she saw the room, her hormones having made her emotional for much of the last six months. So far, I’d seen her cry at events ranging from her husband painting the nursery to our brother Matias bringing her a glass of water at the last family dinner so she didn’t have to get up. From the somewhat smug, expectant look on Maria’s face, she, too, was waiting for Laura to dissolve into a puddle of appreciative emotion.

  Instead, Laura immediately fell into the closest folding chair, ignoring the balloon-festooned chair of honor we’d placed at the head table, barked out a terse hello, and demanded I bring her punch.

  I complied, raising my eyebrows at Maria as I did so.

  “Doesn’t everything look nice, Laura?” my mother urged, probably scared of how Maria might react to this underwhelming display. “Your sisters worked so hard on your party.”

  “Yeah, it looks great,” Laura said quickly, not even looking around as she reached for the punch I brought. “Thanks, Lizzie, I’m sweating my face off. God, I’m starving. Think I can get a plate before anyone gets here?”

  My eyes darted to Maria, afraid she was about to lose her temper over Laura’s continued lack of appreciation. She had her arms crossed over her chest and an eyebrow raised—a sure warning sign.

  “Laura,” I said, slipping into the chair next to her. “What do you think of Maria’s decorations?” I stared at her hard, willing her to realize she was in serious danger of a Maria blow-up. She finally seemed to get the point, her eyes widening slightly at me.

  “Oh, sorry, girls! I’m just so fat and uncomfortable today.” She smiled at Maria apologetically. “And it’s so hot, my ankles have swelled to twice their size.” She pulled her skirt up to show off her visibly swollen ankles. At the sight, Maria seemed to relax a little, as if taking pity on her. “But I want to see everything you did,” Laura went on, holding out a hand for me to pull her up. “Show me the room.”

  “Oh, you’re fine,” Maria said, waving her hands dismissively. “You’re pregnant, you’re allowed to sit around and be waited on at your own shower.”

  I grinned at Laura. “But you should probably wait until the rest of the guests show up before you start pigging out. It’s bad manners.”

  After that, our relatives started to arrive in a steady trickle. Maria assigned me the job of manning the gift table. As far as I could tell, the job consisted mostly of me telling grown woman where to place their gifts, as if the rather large pile of presents already on the table wasn’t a dead giveaway. Having so little to do left me plenty of time to worry about Sofie. She still hadn’t shown up.

  “Hello, Lizzie dear,” my aunt Maria said, stopping by the gift table to give me a kiss before dropping off the croissants she had brought for lunch.

  “Hi, Tia.” I kissed her back. “It’s good to see you.”

  In all honesty, Sofie’s mother looked terrible. She seemed thinner than the last time I’d seen her, deflated somehow. She was even paler, with dark circles around her eyes. I wondered if she was sleeping.

  “How is she, Lizzie?” she asked without preamble, her eyes wide and troubled. “I’m worried sick.”

  “I’m sorry, Tia.” I’d spent so much time being pissed at her for her initial reaction to the pregnancy; but seeing her now, clearly beside herself with worry for her daughter, it was impossible not to feel for her.

  “Is she coming today?”

  “I think she might. But Tia, please don’t make a big deal out of it if she does come—”


  She waved her hands. “I won’t. I’m under firm instructions from your mother to not make a scene. It’s Laura’s day.”

  I nodded, relieved, but Aunt Maria went on. “I just want her to be okay, you know? I hate that she’s not in touch, that I don’t even know if she’s healthy.”

  She looked like she was about to burst into tears, so I took her arm and squeezed gently. “She really is fine, Tia. She’s eating well and sleeping well and keeping all of her doctor’s appointments. She’s healthy as a horse, I promise you.”

  “And you’ll tell me if there’s anything to worry about?” she asked, desperation in her voice. Though I was under strict instructions from my cousin not to share any medical information with her mother, I nodded. “I promise.”

  She released my arm, visibly relaxing. “Thank you, Lizzie. And thank you for being there for her.”

  “It’s fine, Tia. She’s my family.”

  It was, apparently, the wrong thing to say. Her eyes filled with tears, but she quickly turned away and busied herself setting out the croissants.

  As the trickle of guests slowed, I became more convinced Sofie wasn’t going to show after all. I was just starting to get annoyed with her for letting Laura down when she appeared at my side, looking strangely out of breath.

  “Sof—?”

  “Can you come here for a minute?” she asked. There was something in her voice that made my heart sink. Something was wrong.

  Without thinking, I abandoned the table and followed her to the hall, but Sofie didn’t stop there. She took my elbow and pulled me into an abandoned Sunday school room.

  “What’s going on?”

  She turned to me and my heart sank further. She was wide-eyed, her face splotchy, like she’d just gotten terrible news. My first thought was for her pregnancy. “Sof—the baby—are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Lizzie, it’s…Thomas.”

  I felt the room sway around me. “What about Thomas?” I yelped, my voice coming out high-pitched and unfamiliar in my ears.

  “He’s fine,” she said and to my surprise her face twisted up as if in anger.

  “Then what’s wrong?”

  She was quiet for so long, I was sure I was going to start screaming hysterically. Finally she took a huge breath, her face set. “He’s cheating on you. It’s all over the news.”

  I stared at her for a long moment before I finally burst into laughter. “Are you kidding me?”

  “I’m not,” she said, clearly concerned for my sanity. “Callie called me and told me. She wanted to make sure you heard it from me and not from—”

  I cut her off. “Chica, I appreciate your concern, but this is ridiculous. Thomas is not cheating on me.”

  She shook her head, her expression sad. “Lizzie, I know you don’t want to believe he could do something like that. I don’t want to believe it. But—”

  “But what?” I was starting to get annoyed. The fact that she would even entertain the possibility felt like an insult. Her insistence after I refused to believe it was worse. “I trust him, Sofie. He wouldn’t do that to me. I don’t care what the entertainment media says. They make up shit all the time—”

  “There’s an interview, Lizzie.”

  That shut me up. I gaped at her as she went on, her expression making it clear that she’d give anything to not be the one tasked with explaining this to me. “It’s not just some misunderstanding this time,” she went on. “Not just some innocent pictures the media is trying to twist—though there are pictures, too.”

  “What interview?” I asked. My throat felt dry and tight, like I was having an allergic reaction to something.

  “His ex-girlfriend. Franny something. She gave an interview admitting to the affair. It’s going to be printed in tomorrow’s paper in London, but the information just leaked. And they’ve been photographed together all over the city—”

  She was interrupted by the ringing of my phone. I felt a momentary rush of relief. It would be Thomas, explaining everything, making sense of all of this nonsense.

  “Lizzie?” A posh and very angry English voice snapped.

  “Hello, Heidi.”

  “What are these pictures?” she asked.

  “I don’t know, Heidi. I’m just hearing about them now. I’d hoped you could explain to me why Thomas has been photographed with his ex—”

  “I’m not talking about those pictures,” she said impatiently. “I’m talking about the ones of you cozying up with Jackson Coles.”

  I actually held the phone away from my face to look at it. That’s how shocked I was by her words.

  “What pictures of me with Jackson Coles?”

  “Of the two of you in London. You’re holding his hand, smiling at each other. They’ve just been sent to the office. Do you have any idea how this looks? On top of all the garbage with that Franny woman—”

  “Hang on a second, Heidi,” I snapped back, my annoyance spiking. “I’m at my sister’s baby shower, and I’m just hearing about this Franny story for the first time. You think you could have given me a heads up? Instead of making it worse by—what? Are you accusing me of something?”

  She blew out a long breath and when she spoke again her voice was more controlled. “I’m sorry I didn’t inform you of the Franny story. I assumed you’d been in communication with Thomas.”

  Why hasn’t he called? A little voice in my head asked. I did my best to tamp it down. Wasn’t he on location this weekend? I struggled to remember through the increasing wall of panic. “He probably didn’t want to interrupt my sister’s baby shower,” I said, my voice all the more hot for the sliver of doubt that was creeping in. “Considering it’s an important family event he knows I’ve been looking forward to.”

  “Well the fact remains, Lizzie, these pictures of you and Jackson do not look good. They seem to confirm the rumors of infidelity.”

  “This is ridiculous!” I was shouting now, but I couldn’t help it. It was all too much. “There is no infidelity! From either of us!”

  “Well what is the press supposed to think?” she asked, nearly as angry as I was. “First we get this interview from a known ex of his confirming that he’s cheating. Then there are pictures of you with his co-star. This is going to look like you’re retaliating for his indiscretion by going after the next celebrity you can find. It looks terrible for Thomas.”

  That was the last straw. “You know what, Heidi, you can go to hell.” I knew I’d regret this later, but I didn’t care. I felt like I was about to cry. How dare she call me and accuse me of this garbage, blame me for what it would do to his reputation—when I was smack in the middle of dealing with the bomb shell of Franny’s interview, no less.

  “Lizzie,” she said, her voice tight and controlled. I got the feeling that she knew she had crossed a line, but I didn’t care.

  “How about you go out and do your job,” I snarled. “Control the damage that you’re so sure I’ve caused. I’m not talking about this with you anymore.”

  Before she could say another word, I hung up the phone, breathing heavily. Sofie was watching me, wide-eyed.

  “What was that about?”

  “Apparently someone took pictures of Jackson and me when I ran into him in London.” I closed my eyes, trying to rub some of the tension out of my forehead with my palm. “And they’re going to run the pictures as some kind of confirmation that my relationship with Thomas is ruined.”

  “Lizzie, I’m so sorry—”

  Before she could expand on what, exactly, she was so sorry for, the door to the classroom opened and Sofie’s mother stuck her head in.

  “Sofie?” she asked hopefully. “I thought I saw you come in. Sweetie, can we talk? You don’t need to feel uncomfortable being here, I promise I won’t—”

  “This is not a good time, Mom,” Sofie snapped, her eyes still on me. She seemed to be worried that I was about to lose it.

  “Actually, it’s the perfect time,” I said, reaching down and shutting of
f my phone. “It’s Laura’s day. We’re here for Laura. So let’s all get the hell out of this room and go to the damn baby shower.”

  They both gaped at me. I was sure I had never cursed in front of any of my aunts before, but I didn’t care. I was at the end of my rope, and if we didn’t get out of this room soon, I was absolutely going to lose it.

  “I mean it,” I said, raising my voice. I made a shooing motion with my hands. “Let’s go. Now!”

  Silently, they both turned and followed me from the classroom. As we walked the short distance to the fellowship room, the sounds of the party hit me, pulling me from the whirling thoughts in my mind.

  I wasn’t sure how I should be feeling at that moment. Wasn’t sure if I should be scared or sad or indignant. A kind of numbness was taking over, making it hard to feel much of anything. It was as if my brain and my heart instinctively knew that I couldn’t deal with this right now, couldn’t allow myself to think about it too much. Couldn’t afford to start asking questions, to think about the what if.

  Just concentrate on your sister, I told myself as I entered the room. You’re hosting this shower, and there’s plenty to keep your mind busy.

  “Lizzie!” my mother called, catching sight of me from across the room. She was standing next to a distant relative whose name I couldn’t place, probably wanting me to show off the ring. Something about the easy, familiar smile on her face seemed to pierce the numbness, making me want to cry, to fall into her arms. I stumbled a little, the desire so strong I was tempted to give in. You can’t do that, I told myself firmly. If you start that, you won’t be able to stop.

  So I plastered a smile on my face, straightened my shoulders, and went over to fulfill my duties as hostess.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  I’m not sure how I got through the entire day. The shower seemed to go on for hours. We ate the food, played ridiculous baby games that I prayed would be out of style if I ever had kids, and oohed and aahed while Laura opened her gifts. Somehow, I managed to keep my mind on the here and now. This was an important day for my sister, and for my mother. There was no time to think about other issues. Not even the fact that people all over the world, maybe at this very moment, were reading about how my fiancé had been unfaithful—