Winter Storm

by Barbara Winkes

  “Oh. You did?”

  “Sure. You always say it’s important to keep track of what they do on the internet.”

  “True. You want some tea?”

  “I’ll have it. Thanks.” He went to the counter to get his cup, moving confidently like he wasn’t the guest here. After they’d shared almost twenty years of their lives, Rebecca couldn’t find it in herself to blame him.

  “Weird, isn’t it, to have strangers walk around in your home and discuss what they’ll change.”

  “Yes.” Only it isn’t ours anymore—or home.

  “The weather’s been crazy,” David said, probably sensing she didn’t want to deepen the subject. “The last time it was like this, you were pregnant with—”

  “Maggie.”

  It was risky, the doctor said, but both she and David had wanted that baby so badly. There had been a lot of appointments in the early stages, lots of driving in the snow.

  Rebecca cupped her tea mug in both hands, letting the warmth reorient her in the present. It was normal for people who had shared a big part of their life to have a conversation like this. They needed to give that time the credit it deserved.

  There was a small clank as David sat his cup down on the counter, and then he reached out to brush his hand over Rebecca’s hair gently, his fingertips tickling her neck.

  For a split second, she could make herself pretend it was okay. Then she all but jumped to her feet, putting space between them.

  “David!”

  He met her gaze calmly, his own devoid of apology.

  “What do you think? We had sixteen years. Counting from our wedding day, that is.”

  “I am aware of that.”

  “If you can just brush off every feeling we had for each other, congratulations, Rebecca, because I can’t.”

  “But…” What about Susan? What about the fact that we both made up our minds and it wasn’t for each other?

  “You started it. You walked out on me. Don’t tell me what to feel.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t…” There were many ways to finish, but none of them seemed to be the right thing to say. I didn’t know. That would make her look stupid. I didn’t mean to hurt you. She had anyway.

  “I need to go. I’ll call you when I hear about the offer.”

  He didn’t wait for an answer.

  Rebecca put both cups into the sink, resisting the urge to just slam them. She had no right to tell Callie how to deal with a relationship that refused to be over.

  Chapter Five

  When Callie moved to Autumn Leaves, there had been mainly two things on her mind: How to get Nicole off it, and her next novel. Asha and her brother had warned her about the small-town ways, and she had laughed it off. She had been certain she wasn’t interested in socializing, and God forbid, a relationship. What she ended up doing was going to church, joining the choir, and falling in love with her next-door neighbor. Before she knew it, all those little rituals she’d been determined to ignore had become part of her life. Like Rebecca’s Saturday brunch.

  Maggie had spent the night at a friend’s whose mother would bring her back in the early afternoon. Callie and Rebecca had a leisurely morning where the few minutes to sleep in turned into an hour and more. Not all of the time had been spent sleeping. Callie figured that after Nicole’s surprise visit and the current house-selling project, they were entitled. She could imagine Rebecca was a little sad about leaving that part of her life behind. The Waters family had come through with their offer.

  Callie wasn’t sad about leaving Nicole behind, just about the time she’d wasted feeling bad. She wasn’t feeling so bad now, wrapped in Rebecca’s arms, skin to skin.

  “We’re going to be late,” she said, just for the record.

  “Francine and Roz are always late,” Rebecca murmured. “They won’t mind.”

  “They will if we let them wait outside. I need to go buy a few things.”

  Her words were followed by at least another five minutes of comfortable silence and no movement from either of them.

  “Okay. If I don’t go now, we need to call off brunch. Maggie won’t be home before three, so there’s a lot of time.” She decided the sly look Rebecca gave her meant they were thinking of similar ways to spend that time. “I’ll be quick. You set the table and open the champagne…and put the trophy where everyone can see it.”

  Rebecca laughed, picking up the shirt to cover her naked form while Callie picked up her clothes. “I’ll do that…I love you, you know?”

  Callie leaned in for a quick kiss before she forced herself to leave. If her intention had been to distract Rebecca from the house sale and the memories, she’d certainly succeeded.

  The grocery store was in walking distance, but with the number of things she had planned to buy for brunch it was worth taking the time to clean the snow off the car.

  As she browsed the aisles, Callie wondered about Nicole, if she was actually staying in a hotel in Autumn Leaves. There were a few bed-and-breakfasts and some hotel chains further out of town, but she didn’t think Nicole would be very comfortable here. Better that way. She might be back in New York already.

  Callie finished her purchases quickly, paying with her credit card.

  They were running late indeed. When Callie returned home, they barely had time to put the food on the table, and she never got to ask Rebecca why she had set it for five. She was just starting to tell Francine and Roz about New York when the doorbell rang again, and Rebecca came back with their third guest.

  Callie nearly dropped her plate at the sight of Betty LaRue, and the resulting awkward silence told her that not everyone had known she was coming. When Rebecca averted her eyes, it became pretty clear, though, that she had.

  Sure, Callie knew that Betty had made an attempt, and Rebecca still wanted to be friends. They had been friends for a long time. She could understand. She just didn’t like to be blindsided. After all, Betty had once come here to rant about the “dirt” that Callie’s books were, and she had hit her in the face. There hadn’t been any apology so far.

  “Do you mind?” Betty asked, and Callie suppressed a sigh.

  “Of course not. Have a seat.”

  It took some time to get the conversation going again. Francine and Roz seemed fairly interested in the New York business. Betty stayed silent after she had accepted a plate and a glass of champagne. Rebecca didn’t say much either.

  “…Dina met this nice family again, and they took her to some outings. She also met a cute guy who now has her interested in studying arts and history.”

  “Beware of when they get that age,” Francine said. “Betty, how old is Chip now? Is he going to college this year already?”

  “I hope he still plans to. Not that he’s sharing.”

  Callie bit her lip to hold in her opinion on that particular subject. Betty’s son had been subjected to severe bullying, but he’d still stood up for her and Rebecca. In Callie’s opinion, Betty didn’t do him justice.

  “How’s the sale going?” Roz asked. “I hear somebody came to see the house this week?”

  “Yeah. They made a good offer and now it’s a matter of getting their financing straight, then we can move forward.”

  “Oh Rebecca,” Betty said. She sounded genuinely sad. “This is really happening?”

  “Well, what do you think would happen? We can’t keep the house. We both have a new home now.”

  “I know, but I thought…I don’t know, that you might rent it out at first.”

  “What good would that do?”

  Leave a back door open, Callie thought.

  * * * *

  Callie offered to walk Francine home and Roz excused herself shortly after, so Rebecca and Betty stayed behind. Rebecca thought wistfully that she should have told Callie, but on the day she’d met Betty in town, she’d just forgotten about it. Betty hadn’t called, so Rebecca wasn’t even sure whether or not to expect her.

  “I still don’t understand it,” B
etty said after another prolonged silence. “God knows I want to try, because you’re my friend, but I can’t.”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s so difficult about all this. I am happy.” It sounded defensive. Not a good start, but Rebecca couldn’t help herself.

  “You’re coming to church on Sunday?” Betty asked.

  “Why?” Rebecca couldn’t quite follow.

  Betty turned the champagne flute in her hands, and again. The sound it made on the table was making Rebecca nervous.

  “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said that day in church. Sure, God is love, and we should love a person regardless of their actions. It doesn’t mean the actions are always right. You have a family, Rebecca, children. You are not gay.”

  “How do you know—and what if I am? I can’t have a family? You can’t be my friend anymore?”

  “It’s wrong. Rebecca, what happened to you? Everything I thought we believed in—”

  “Excuse me, I could tell you the same thing. I didn’t know we were supposed to believe in treating people differently.”

  Betty’s expression was serious. “You know what the Bible says.”

  “Okay.” Rebecca wasn’t sure if she should be sad or angry, or if she should make the effort at all. She couldn’t just let this stand though.

  “In the Bible, there are a lot of warnings about quick judgment, about thinking that you have it all figured out, that you’re somehow better than your, well, neighbor. What about that?”

  “What about adultery?” Betty countered.

  Rebecca thought about the way David had touched her. She was caught in an everlasting circle of guilt, but none of this had anything to do with the fact that the person she loved was another woman.

  “I’ll give you that. All right, I should have told David once I knew what I wanted, and I was too much of a coward to do it. That’s not really your point, is it? I love her, Betty. That’s all I can tell you.”

  “Everything happened so quickly.”

  “That much is true,” Rebecca ascertained. “It’s real nonetheless.”

  “I don’t really think you’re going to burn in hell.” Betty laughed nervously.

  “Then what are you afraid of? I’m still the same person, you know.”

  “I don’t know. We can’t both be right, can we?” Betty jumped at the sound of the front door being opened, indicating Callie’s return. “I need to go. I really liked talking to you.”

  She gave Callie a long thoughtful look then turned to leave. Rebecca imagined that neither of them had forgotten about the scene that had taken place here. What the hell was wrong with Betty? she wondered. She never pegged her friend for a hater. There was something between them, though, they seemed unable to bridge.

  “I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I should have told you. This probably wasn’t one of my better ideas.”

  “I would have appreciated a warning,” Callie said calmly. She picked up the bottle and poured both of them another glass. “I don’t blame you for trying. She will be okay with you in the long run. I just don’t think she’ll ever care for me enough to take back what she said. I’m the bad person here.”

  “Why does everybody think I didn’t have a say in this? I made a choice too. I chose to be honest, with myself, with everyone. I chose you.”

  Callie looked much too relieved, making Rebecca wonder about any doubts she might still have here. “Oh come on, not you too.”

  “I just don’t want you to think I’ll take you for granted, or what you did so we could get here. Ever.”

  Rebecca pulled her close, guiltily thinking of other sins of omission. Then again, she was sure David had gotten the message. He wouldn’t try to turn back time.

  * * * *

  On Wednesday, they met with the Waterses at a restaurant to finalize the deal, and sooner than she thought, Rebecca would get new neighbors.

  “I just love life in a smaller community.” Delia beamed. “It’s so peaceful. You have a fifteen-year-old daughter, you said? Maybe she’d be interested in baby-sitting.”

  Rebecca shared a look with David and for a moment, all differences they had over the past few months vanished with the familiar communication. Delia was a bit much. At least, it felt that way in their present situation, with all the emotional baggage that came with this house sale. She’d be okay with Delia and her family living next door—eventually.

  “Dina doesn’t live with us,” she said.

  “Oh…I’m sorry. I forgot.”

  “No problem. I work from home, you know. If you ever need someone to watch the baby…”

  “Thank you so much. I might take you up on that offer.”

  Rebecca wondered if she’d just lost her mind. She hadn’t planned on socializing with the new neighbors any more than a friendly word here and there. If those lines were crossed, it meant she’d go over every now and then. See the changes that the Waterses would make, the life they built in a home that in some way, would always feel like hers. No matter how many curtains or sheets or pieces of furniture she brought into Callie’s house.

  After the happy family and both realtors went on their way, Rebecca and David stayed behind. Both of them were aware that there were things left to talk about.

  “About the other day…” David began.

  “It’s fine,” Rebecca said quickly. “I understand.”

  “It’s still hard sometimes. I miss Maggie. I miss you too.”

  “I’m not denying everything we had and accomplished. I swear. Life has changed, for both of us.”

  “Well…I guess that sums it up,” he said, setting down his coffee cup. “If you need me for anything, you know where to find me. Have fun with the Waterses.”

  “Looks like I will. About Craig—what’s going on there?”

  It wasn’t like Rebecca cared so much about her former brother-in-law. Her question was merely for David’s sake.

  David sighed. “If it wasn’t for Maria, I’d tell him to pull himself together and get the hell over things. I suppose losing his job is much of his own doing. He made some serious mistakes earlier.”

  “He was ready to let two rapists go free with a slap on the wrist. I’d call that a serious mistake.”

  David nodded. “Yet, he’ll always be family. Just like you will always be family. Welcome to my world.”

  He touched her hand briefly before getting up to leave. “I’ll bring Dina on Saturday around ten, if that’s okay.” He didn’t wait for an answer, but left the restaurant instead.

  Rebecca checked her watch, realizing it was after four, earlier than she thought. She could maybe have just one drink before she went home, decadence on a weekday afternoon. She’d take a cab home.

  “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but overhear a little of your conversation.”

  Rebecca looked up at the woman standing at her table. She groaned.

  “I am not drunk, so you must be real. Which is not good, believe me. You and I have absolutely nothing to say to each other. Bye.”

  She was rather proud of herself. Rebecca had been fine for a long time within her familiar surroundings. When all comfort zones seemed to fall apart around her, she’d been timid and hesitant at first, but she was learning her lesson. This woman had no idea what she was in for.

  Nicole smiled and sat down across from her.

  “Oh no. I did not invite you.”

  “You will listen to me for five minutes. If you really care about Callie, that is.”

  “You’re getting some things confused here. I’m not the one who threw dishes at her. Among other things.”

  “I care about her,” Nicole said and waved to the waiter. “Believe it or not, I’d rather want her with someone else than me if that person makes her truly happy. I just don’t think you can. Meeting with your husband in the afternoon? Does she know about that?”

  Rebecca shook her head. This conversation, while feeling unreal, had taken a turn to somewhere in between sad and amusing. She’d humor
the other woman.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, Callie knows that my ex-husband and I are selling the house. We both hope there’ll be enough profit in it to take a nice vacation in the summer. It would be great to go somewhere far from people who keep bothering us.”

  “You’re cute.” Nicole took a deep sip from the whiskey she’d ordered.

  This is ridiculous, Rebecca thought, drinking with this woman. She should just leave, but there was something that stopped her. She needed to know her standing in this competition. No matter how bad things had been in the end, Callie lived with Nicole for a year.

  “God, I’m so very flattered you think so.”

  “Do you have any idea what you’re doing? Play around a little and then play it safe and go back to your straight life? You know some of us don’t have anywhere to go back to.”

  “My sympathies.”

  “Can you really make her happy, in every sense of the word? Why don’t you ask yourself that, just for a moment?”

  “Have you asked yourself why Callie did not drop everything to be with you again? Look, whatever you’re trying to do, it’s not working. If you don’t leave us alone, well, I could always call the sheriff right now.”

  “Callie has a bit of a masochistic streak.” Nicole got up with a smile that would have been rather pleasant if the content of their conversation wasn’t. “See if you can work with that, if you can really satisfy her.”

  “What does that mean?” Rebecca bit her tongue. She didn’t want Nicole to elaborate.

  “It means I’m kind enough to let you know. You’ll figure it out if you’re serious about your ‘born again lesbian’ life. See ya, Rebecca.”

  “Never would be fine. Bitch,” Rebecca muttered under her breath. When the waiter came by to take Nicole’s glass, both of them realized she had left without paying.

  “Oh, whatever. Put it on my bill, and…” She pointed at her own glass. “Bring me another one, okay?”

  She’d gotten a check after all, and money coming soon from the Waterses. Two Mojitos wouldn’t break the bank.

  * * * *

  “Could you please put Rebecca on the phone? It’s absolutely urgent that we talk to her. Sorry.”