“Hey, how are you feeling?” Kal asked as I approached the desk.
Guilt lay like lead in my stomach. “Better, thank you.”
“Good, I’m glad to hear it.”
“Busy, isn’t it?” I noticed there were more customers in the club than usual. It was a huge warehouse he’d converted, and it certainly was a popular gym, but it seemed almost full to capacity. Luckily, the guys had sole use of the cage and a few other separate pieces of equipment, but the customers knew that if one of the guys needed to use other machines, they had to move. That was something Kal explained to every new customer during their induction. I wondered if the sudden influx was the result of some recent promoting we’d been doing on social media.
“Yeah, think I may need to expand.” He chuckled before standing to leave the desk.
I put my things away in my locker and made myself a coffee. He was gone from the front when I came out, so I sat down to look through the emails to see what had been happening since I was last in. I hated being out of the loop.
After finishing his training, Cam came up to the desk and set two shake bottles down on to the countertop. “Hey, how are you?”
I was instantly on my guard and suspicious of why he was asking me. I couldn’t return his smile. “Fine, thank you,” I said, avoiding eye contact with him. I couldn’t bring myself to be nice to him, even though it wasn’t his fault his friend was an asshole. I carried on looking through the emails, ignoring the two empty shake bottles he had put on the desktop.
“What was wrong?”
“Migraine,” I lied.
“Hate those.”
I hate your friend more!
“Can you be ever so kind and make me two protein shakes?” I glanced up at him and was met with his pleading green eyes. Holding back a sigh, I nodded and took the two bottles from the desk, and he walked off to the bathroom. I filled them up and set them down on the counter for him to take when he returned. “Thanks, Lauren.” He picked them up, shaking them vigorously as he walked away.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him go and do what I thought he was going to—he handed the other shake to Jamie as he finished his set on the weights. If I’d have thought better, I would have put salt in it. I watched Cam speak to him, and Jamie responded through mouthfuls of his shake. He stood up, and they both made their way over in my direction. I returned my eyes back to the computer screen. I didn’t want to look at him; I couldn’t. As Jamie approached, a tornado of emotions swirled around inside me, consuming me.
Do not cry! I scolded myself.
“Just going for our break. Tell Kal we’ll be back later.”
I swallowed the lump that was in my throat and nodded at Cam, acknowledging he’d spoken to me. Jamie didn’t even glance my way. It was like I wasn’t even here. He walked past me, taking both their shake bottles into the kitchen, and I held my breath. I didn’t want to inhale any of him. He came back out and wasn’t in there long enough to wash them, which meant he had left them for me to do. They both walked out the door, and I was left feeling broken again.
How had things gotten this bad? Why did any of this have to happen and spoil things? We’d just become really good friends, or so I thought, and now we couldn’t even look at each other. We’d completely severed our friendship. I didn’t want to sit and think about it, so I numbly went about wiping down all of the equipment in between the customers using them. I got to the weight bench and knew Jamie was the last person to use it. It usually grossed me out that I was wiping their sweat off things, but not today. Memories of the beads of sweat that had formed on his forehead when we slept together came to the forefront of my mind. The night I’d had the most amazing sex, ever. Before he went and ruined it all. Despite how it ended, I still had feelings for him, and I couldn’t just switch them off. Even though I desperately wanted to.
“You okay, Lauren?”
I startled at Marc’s presence and glanced up to see him looking at me, concerned. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You were staring into space.”
“Just tired.” I forced a smile.
“You sure you’re okay?” He cocked an eyebrow.
“I’m fine, honestly.” I shooed him away with my hand, and he put his up in front of him playfully.
“Okay, just checking.” He gave a small shrug and walked toward the shake bar, wiping his sweaty face with a towel then slung it over his shoulder.
I finished cleaning the bench and walked to the bar behind him. “Let me do your shake,” I offered, taking the empty container from him. I took the red lid off and filled it with a scoop of powder. I had gotten used to what they needed and when. He smiled gratefully at me then looked to Leon, who came over.
“You going now?” Marc asked.
“Yeah, I’m pretty beat.” Leon rubbed at his shoulders and neck. I hated it when they looked so tired. Sometimes, it seemed like they pushed themselves too far. But I knew that despite how he felt, Leon would be back at the club again in a few hours for more training. Making Leon’s shake for him too, I held it out and was met with a very tired “thanks” and another grateful smile. I’d come to love these guys. Well, most of them. I watched as they too left for their break.
After taking stock of new deliveries and sorting out gym memberships, I was busy for the better part of two hours. After finally wiping down the shake bar, I sat back down at the desk, where I wanted to put my head down and sleep. I hadn’t slept much again last night.
I was soon fully alert when a sweaty-looking man in his forties approached the desk and hung around a bit longer than necessary. He started to make me feel nervous because no one ever just hovered. His pale eyes seemed to be assessing me. But for what? I ignored him the best I could, but I felt vulnerable being on my own without Kal or the guys around, so I moved back over to the shake bar, away from him. Unfortunately, he followed and requested a protein shake.
“The name’s Max.” He gave me a cheesy grin, displaying a set of yellowing teeth. I nodded politely, putting a scoop of powder in his cup, and set it down on the counter. “Can you fill it and shake it for me?” He licked his bottom lip creepily and held the cup out for me.
I tried my best not to grimace and shudder. “That’s not my job. The water’s over there,” I said sharply, pointing to the water machine. He set his shake down rather heavy-handedly on the countertop, making me flinch. From his aggressive reaction, my body began to tremble. I was willing him to just go away or for another customer to come over and distract him.
“Are you single?” he asked, walking around to the entrance of the bar. I backed up as far as I could. I couldn’t believe what he was asking me while I was trying to work. What the hell was he playing at? What was he going to do? Touch me? Horrible thoughts ran through my mind, and again, I nervously looked around at the other customers, but they were all busy completing their workouts. I desperately wanted one of them to see the predicament I was in and come help me. I folded my arms across my chest, contemplating which self-defense move I was going to have to use. With him standing so close in front of me, I knew a knee to the balls was the best option. Lifting my right leg, I bent my knee ever so slowly so he wouldn’t realize what I was doing or what was coming his way.
Then by the grace of God, Cam and Jamie came walking back into the club, and I had never been more relieved to see them. Cam’s head almost spun off his neck as he clocked the creepy guy standing inside the shake bar, where he shouldn’t be. He halted on the spot and hit Jamie’s chest with the back of his hand, muttering to him. Jamie instantly looked over at me, and then his gaze went to the sweaty man standing intimidatingly in front of me. His features darkened and a murderous glare glided over his face as he began to stalk toward us.
“Can I take you on a date then?” The creepy guy leered.
“No,” I said with confidence, now that I knew I was safe.
Before I knew it, Jamie had grabbed hold of the back of the man’s neck a little too harshly, causing hi
m to startle. He turned him around to face him. “Beat it, Max, before I knock your fucking teeth out,” he growled.
Max put both hands up in front of himself, palms out, and Cam took a step toward him. “Just asking the sweet little thing out on a date. Where’s the harm?” he asked, as he rubbed his balding head while backing out of the shake bar.
Jamie also took a step closer to him. “Get the fuck out of here,” he seethed and began to walk up in Max’s personal space, forcing him to walk backward toward the exit. He flinched as Jamie reached past him for the handle and opened the door. Max turned and walked out, letting it close behind him, not daring to take a look back. I breathed a sigh of relief and thanked Cam before walking into the back room to take a few breaths. That was some scary shit.
“He didn’t touch you, did he?”
I closed my eyes at the sound of Jamie's voice. I didn’t want to hear it. Keeping my back turned, I shook my head and fixed myself a glass of water, hoping he’d go away.
“Are you okay?” he asked quietly.
I nodded, even though I wasn’t okay, and now it didn’t have anything to do with Max. It was him. I couldn’t look at him, because if I did, I’d break. Hurt and longing for him consumed me, and I wondered when the pain would stop. “I’m used to feeling like a piece of meat,” I said, putting my glass in the sink and walking past him, leaving him standing in the kitchen.
“Let us know if he bothers you again,” Cam said, as I sat back down at the desk.
“Thank you,” I muttered, not really caring anymore. I then heard Jamie slam his hand or his fist into a locker door, which created an almighty boom. Cam raised his eyebrows and looked toward the back room. I pretended not to notice and pulled out a folder from the shelf to check through some invoices. Seconds later, Jamie stormed out of the kitchen and headed back toward the gym, Cam quickly following behind him. Jamie was saying something to him while they were walking, rubbing the back of his head agitatedly and throwing his hands out to emphasize whatever it was he was saying.
This was your fault, Jamie. Not mine!
Half an hour before my shift was due to end, Cam came to the desk and waited until I ended the call I was taking. “Do you want to train with me?”
My eyebrows shot up in surprise. He’d never offered since Jamie took over from him in the beginning. In a way, I was glad Cam had asked me because there was no way I wanted to train with Jamie. “Okay,” I agreed. The vent would do me good.
“Yo, Marc, can you cover the desk?” he shouted, looking over to where he was standing beside a treadmill.
“Yep,” he yelled back.
I felt awkward that they were stopping what they were doing just so I could do some training. “Look, Cam, you’re all supposed to be training. Kal will be pissed.”
“Kal’s not here. It’s fine, trust me.” I paused, not sure. But I didn’t argue because it never got me anywhere with them. “C’mon.” He nodded to the cage.
I stood from my chair and followed him into the cage. I didn’t get the same buzz standing in it with him, but at least I’d probably focus better. We warmed up, stretching our legs and arms first.
“Right, we’ll start with the gloves.”
“Okay.” I liked the release I got from boxing.
“Jay, bring a set of gloves and pads,” he shouted over to Jamie, who was working on his abs. Stretching my left arm across my collarbone, I watched him direct a death glare at Cam. I switched arms, still watching Jamie’s childish facial expressions, as he reluctantly stood up and plucked a set of gloves and pads from the storage unit, dragging his feet as he walked into the cage where he thrust them out to Cam. I found it so hard looking at him that my stomach churned.
“I’m gonna do my arms then we’ll swap.” Cam darted out of the cage as quick as he could, leaving us both standing there.
I was furious and opened my mouth to protest, but I didn’t want to give Jamie the satisfaction, so I closed my mouth and didn’t bother saying anything. Cam walked over to the weights, sat down, and began attaching the free weights to the bar. He definitely knew about us. I bet Jamie had bragged about it, and this was Cam’s way of making us talk and forget about it so ‘golden boy’ wouldn’t get into trouble. How dare he set us up like this? Clenching my jaw, I looked at Jamie. His eyes were squeezed shut and he was biting his bottom lip, nodding to himself like he was gearing up for a challenge. All I could think was that he deserved to feel this awkward. Opening his eyes, he grabbed the pads from the floor and slowly put them on his hands. I bent down and picked my gloves up from the floor, and my stomach continued to churn. We stood there in silence, looking anywhere but into each other’s eyes. I strapped the gloves on, occasionally glancing up at him, but he could barely look back at me.
When we were ready, I heard him take a deep breath and put his hands up at either side of his head. When his eyes finally met mine, it was torture. I shook the feeling away from me and used his hands as an invite to show him how angry I was. Barely giving him the chance to blink, I pounded my fists as hard as I could. I wanted to hit him in the face and cause him pain so he could suffer like I was, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I tried to keep my focus on his pads and kept delivering blows. I struggled, avoiding eye contact, because I needed to watch where I was punching, and it was painful every time our eyes met. All I could think about was how good his mouth felt on mine. How nice his lips trailed kisses down my neck. I hated how he made me want him, beg him. But I’d obviously been nothing but a conquest. When the burning sensation in my arms got too much, I stopped and placed my hands on my knees breathlessly.
“Take your gloves off.” His voice was small. I did as I was told because I wanted it to be over as quickly as possible. I tossed them to the floor, and he walked to the center and did his usual ‘run at me’ gesture with his hands, but I didn’t want to touch him or be any closer to him than I needed to be, so I firmly said no and meant it. Setting his hands on his hips, he raised his brows and irritation flashed in his eyes. He was annoyed I wouldn’t do what he wanted.
Dropping his hands, he stalked over aggressively, coming to a stop close in front of me. Too close. I could feel tears pricking my eyes. I didn’t want him near me. I was desperately trying not to breathe in his scent because it was clouding my thoughts and bringing back more memories. I fixed my eyes on his white Hollister T-shirt and stared at the red logo on his pec. I could feel his ragged breath blowing strands of my hair as he breathed in and out. I willed myself not to cry.
“Push me away from you,” he snapped, leaning in and forcing his weight against me.
I cringed at the contact; I didn’t want it. I needed him away from me. I drove both my palms into his chest, pushing out at him, making him move backward slightly, but not enough to get his body completely away. He pushed farther, and the smell of him was choking me, reminding me of how close I’d been with him. I pushed him away with every bit of strength I had, but it wasn’t working. “Push me away now,” he growled through gritted teeth. He seemed so angry like he had all this anger toward me, and I didn’t understand why. I was the one who should be angry.
What did he have to be mad about? I looked up at him, and I swear I could feel hate in my eyes. Taking a step back, I used it as leverage to shove him harder than I ever thought was possible and managed to move him back further. He grabbed me and threw me down to the floor, and his body came over mine, planking me.
“Get off me now!” I yelled at him. He was suffocating me, and I didn’t like it at all. I turned my head to the side so I didn’t have to look at him. The last time we lay like this, he was inside me, in his bed, and with every passing second, I was reliving it over and over. I wanted it to stop. I wanted the memories to go.
“Make me, Lauren.” His voice was quiet again but laced with challenge. Barely keeping myself together, I curled both my fists. I would make him get off me. I wouldn’t care if I hurt him. I’d hit him once, and I was about to do it again. I
didn’t understand why he was being like this. I repeatedly punched at both sides of his ribs as hard as I could, trying to get him off me, but he was having none of it. His body was rigid, and I was having no effect on him whatsoever, which further ignited my frustration.
Defeated, I dropped my arms and steeled myself to glance up at him, only to find his angry look had gone. His expression had softened, and he looked like he was at a loss and didn’t know what to do. A slight frown crossed his face, and his once beautiful, deep brown eyes were not clear like they usually were. They looked somewhat clouded, like all of his emotions were experiencing some kind of internal storm that was reflected in them. It stirred feelings for him that I had tried to push far away.
I wanted his poker face back. I could deal with that. Jamie showing his real emotions scared me because it was something he never did. I didn’t know how to deal with it, and I doubted he did either. My irritation crept back up that I was starting to feel sorry for him when I should be feeling sorry for myself. I forced myself to scowl at him. “I hate you. Get off me,” I croaked.
He nodded, agreeing with me. “I know you do.” He closed his eyes then slowly opened them again. “I’m so sorry. Believe me, you don’t know how sorry I am,” he whispered.
Tears filled my eyes at his sudden apology, and I quickly looked away from him. I didn’t want to show him how much hearing him say that had affected me. I’d done so well keeping it together so far, and he could apologize all he wanted; it wouldn’t change anything. I’d never trust him ever again.
Putting my hands underneath his armpits, I tried pushing him off me again, but all that did was shake the tears from my eyes. I felt vulnerable letting him see me cry. Straightening his elbows, he moved farther away, and I hoped he was getting off me. I looked up at him expectantly, but he was still hovering over me with that remorseful look still on his face. His eyes followed the tracks the tears had left down my cheeks, and he swallowed deeply. His bottom lip and chin began to twitch slightly, and I could see that his body was trembling.
Reckless Retribution (West Warriors Book 1) Page 17
