“Go, get out of here now,” I begged, hitting his thigh. I was terrified Dad would say the horrible things he called both Jamie and me the last time he came over. I didn’t want him hearing them.
Still glaring at Dad, Jamie turned off his engine, pulled his keys out, and opened the door of the truck. “No!” I shouted, reaching across the seats, clutching for his arm to drag him back into the truck, but it was no use. He was out in no time.
He walked around to my side and opened the door for me. My whole body shook as I reluctantly got out. Closing the door, he stood in front of me and tilted my chin up to look at him. “He hurts you after this, you call me, okay?” His voice was low and dark. I couldn’t move or speak. “Okay?” he repeated louder.
I nodded, and from the corner of my eye, I could see Dad stomping over to us. I was petrified. I wanted to cower behind Jamie, pretend Dad wasn’t here. I didn’t know whether a fight was going to break out between them, and I hope it didn’t. Jamie constantly made threats against him, so what if he followed through with it?
Protectively, Jamie turned his back to me, sheltering me. He came almost face-to-face with Dad. Jamie was much taller and wider than him. But it wouldn’t intimidate Dad. I was worried about what he would think about the cuts and bruises on Jamie’s face because of the fight. He’d presume he was in a bar brawl, instigated by him, of course, giving him more reason to hate him than he already did.
I stared at Jamie’s back and couldn’t bring myself to look at Dad’s expression. Jamie’s whole body was tense. If he was angry, his breathing didn’t show it. I wanted him to take me back to his house, where it was calm and safe and… normal.
“Touch her again, and you’ll be the one in the hospital or being put in the ground,” he said icily.
I squeezed my eyes shut and silently begged him to stop talking and saying those kinds of things to him. Dad didn’t respond. I don’t think he expected Jamie to say anything to him, let alone inform him he knew what he did to me.
“Inside,” Dad snapped. I didn’t argue. I couldn’t; it wasn’t worth it. I walked past Jamie and he brushed his hands over mine.
“Remember what I said, Lauren.” He looked at me and then Dad. I nodded and walked off toward the house. When I looked back, Jamie was standing with his arms folded, watching us. Dad was hot on my tail. Fumbling with the keys, I unlocked the front door and walked inside. I desperately wanted to dart to my room and hide, but I knew I had to face him.
He slammed the door closed, making the pots in the kitchen rattle. He was livid. Coming up close to me, I flinched, anticipating a beating from him. I wondered if he’d hit me, but I knew he wouldn’t dare with Jamie still outside. If he was still outside. I hoped he was. Truthfully, I wanted to run to him. For the first time in my life, I wanted to run to someone who could protect me. “I told you not to bring that no good waste of space to our house,” he spat.
Just like last time, his words killed me. He wasn’t a waste of space whatsoever. “I just work with him, Dad.”
“What right does he have to threaten me? He’s a deadbeat. Look at him. He belongs on the streets.” He scowled and leaned in so he was inches from my face.
I pressed my head back against the cool wall for some space and tried to stop the tears that were forming at the brim of my eyes from Dad’s callous words. It hurt so much when he called him those names. I wanted to defend and stick up for him, but I couldn’t. Anything I said would result in him hitting me, and if Jamie found out, I don’t think I’d be able to stop him from doing anything if I tried.
His words rattled back to me, asking me how long I was going to be scared of him. It wasn’t that I was scared of him; I was terrified of him. But showing Dad I was terrified of him only gave him more strength.I stood up straight, mustering all the confidence and courage I could find, and decided to stand up for myself, a little.
“I could have pressed charges and had you locked away,” I said evenly, keeping a check on my tone. I hoped he would back off with that fact. But he didn’t react. He just continued to scowl at me with no remorse. “If it weren’t for them, I could have died from the blood loss.” Slowly, I walked away from him. “Now they all know what you did to me and what you have done in the past. All they need to do is ring the police and I’ll tell them everything,” I threw over my shoulder, grabbing my purse from the table, and walked toward the stairs. Walking to my room, all I heard was thrashing and things falling as he trashed the house again.
Pulling my dresser across the door, I grabbed my cell out of my purse to find a text from Jamie, which was comforting. Are you okay?
I loved that he cared. Yes.
You sure?
Yes, I assured him.
What’s with the one-word answers?
That made me laugh. What did he want, an essay? Yes, I’m fine, really.
Okay, call if you need anything.
I will, thanks.
He made my heart swell. It was going to kill me when the time came for me to leave. Having him in my life was so unexpected, and I thanked my lucky stars for being laid off from my old job. To think he would have existed in this world without being a part of my life was not worth thinking about.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
All week, I’d noticed that Jamie had been a little distant with me, and I couldn’t work out why. I was unsure of whether it was because of the run-in he had with Dad, or if it was something else. He’d not spoken to me much, and when he did, it was brief. There were no flirty glances or invites back to his house, and I wasn’t going to go begging him, despite how much I liked him.
He didn’t seem happy within himself while he was training, either. Marc gave him a lot of ribbing and seemed to be really teasing him. Jamie didn’t seem bothered by it and would just playfully punch him in response. I didn’t understand what was bothering him, but I knew something was.
I couldn’t help thinking about the time he went back home for a while. I never did find out why or what had happened, and I wondered whether this was the reason he was unhappy again. I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong to him, or at least I thought I hadn’t. Knowing how Jamie was, I left him alone because I knew he didn’t like talking about his feelings. He was a private person like that. I just kept to myself and avoided him as much as I could. I didn’t want any awkwardness at the club, so I kept busy. I couldn’t wait for my shift to end because I was going out with Taylor to hit the bars. I needed to let off some steam. Jamie steam. When I left work, I didn’t say goodbye to any of the guys. I just grabbed my purse, wishing Kal a good weekend, and he eagerly waved me off, returning the sentiment.
Walking into a busy Revolution that night, the atmosphere in the bar was buzzing. Taylor and I found our friends Brogan and Kelly from school in our arranged spot on the edge of the dance floor. Excitedly, we did the girly thing of squealing and hugging upon seeing each other.
“Shall we get a drink?” I suggested, now that we were all together. Taylor asked for her favorite cocktail, and I headed off to the bar to order us a mojito each, while Brogan and Kelly were still discussing which drinks they were going to have from the very extensive menu.
Pushing my way through the crowd, I was completely stunned to see Jamie, Cam, and Marc on a rare night out. Drinking. I was totally confused. They hadn’t mentioned anything all week about going out tonight, let alone inviting me out. Not that they had to, but an invite would have been nice. I wondered if it was a boys night? Catching Cam’s eye, I waved over to him, and when he waved back, it caught the attention of Marc, who gave me a mischievous grin and nodded. Jamie stayed with his back turned, seemingly not interested in who his friends were waving too. He just drained the rest of his beer bottle, set it down on the table next to them, and picked another one up, taking another long swig.
Taking my place at the bar where I could see them, Jamie appeared to be sucking his drinks back in record time. It looked like he’d already nearly drank the bottle he’d just picked up, which wasn’t l
ike him. What was with him? Marc and Cam didn’t seem in so much of a hurry, and while waiting to be served, I watched as they chatted for a while. Cam said something to Jamie, which resulted in him turning around to glance my way, and as always, my heart rate spiked when our eyes met. I gave him an uneasy smile that soon fell when he blatantly turned back around like he didn’t know who I was.
I frowned at his back. Why was he treating me like that? What the hell had I done? I was tempted to march over and demand he tell me when the bartender placed the drinks in front of me. I handed over my cash and took the drinks, reluctantly walking away from Jamie and his massive problem. As soon as I handed Taylor her drink, I took a large gulp of mine and watched Jamie over the rim of my glass.
A group of people, mostly girls, was talking to them, and an unsettling feeling ran through me. Not wanting him to ruin my night, I turned my attention to Taylor and the girls. Soon enough, we were talking about boys, and Taylor was plotting with Brogan and Kelly on who they could set me up with. I just playfully shook my head at them and their list of ‘suitable’ guys. The one person I did want was standing across the room, being an ass to me.
Looking in his direction, I saw he was gone from where he was previously standing, but I found him at the bar, where he took hold of a shot glass and wasted no time tipping it back. I was irritated at why he was doing this to himself. To me. This was not Jamie. Whenever he did go out, he either drank water or had just a few beers maximum. Tonight, he looked like he was purposely on a mission to get hammered. Taylor grabbed my attention back and we eagerly listened to Brogan, who was the valedictorian, as she gushed about the speech she had prepared for graduation.
But midway through, my eyes strayed back to Jamie, and my stomach hit the floor. He was now back, standing with the others, but his attention wasn’t on his friends; he was talking very closely with a petite blonde girl. The way they leaned into each other was quite intimate, and if I didn’t know better, I would have sworn they were together. My heart started hammering against my chest. Who the hell was she? Was she the reason he’d been so cold? Was she from back home?
I felt sick. I watched as he leaned into her, giving her his gorgeous grin and softly tucking a piece of hair behind her ear like he did when he was with me. I could feel bile rising up in my throat and tears stinging my eyes. He never did anything like that with other girls in front of me, and I couldn’t understand why he was doing it now. With her!
Feeling jealous, I wanted to walk over and shove her far away from him. Why was he doing it, knowing I was in the same room as him? Feeling threatened, I immediately started comparing her to myself. She was blonde like me, although a darker blonde and her hair was big and curled into thick, voluminous beach waves. She was stick-thin, and I had curves. She had quite the ample chest, whereas mine was average. He obviously liked her, because she was thinner and had big boobs.
I wondered what on earth I could have done so wrong for him to be so blatant and obvious with this girl in front of me. For as long as I had been with him, he had only ever been with me, or so I was led to believe. Maybe that was it; he’d led me to believe that, while he had his way with scores of other girls. I was going to hurl. He wasn’t my boyfriend, I knew that, but it felt like we were unofficially dating. He could have his pick of any girl in the bar, yet he would always come talk to me, pull me into corners, and beg me to go home with him.
But not tonight. All that had changed, and I didn’t have the faintest idea why. I stood there in the middle of the dance floor, staring over at him in disbelief, while everyone else was dancing around me, having a good time, and my heart was being shattered into a thousand pieces. I felt like I was going to cry and throw up, but I didn’t know which one was going to happen first.
I couldn’t stop watching them, torturing myself. The blonde placed the palm of her hand onto his chest, and her mouth moved to his ear. He smiled back at whatever she said and replied to her. Picking up his beer bottle, he drank the contents of it hastily. Then his eyes met mine, and the shock I got from it was like somebody had punched me in the gut, hard. I couldn’t believe I was about to witness where his night was going to end up. He was obviously about to go home with her. I’d lost him. To her.
He spoke to the blonde again and she nodded in response. He set his bottle down and began to walk in what looked like my direction, drunkenly bumping into some people as he passed. He stopped just short of the dance floor, away from my friends, and beckoned me over to him with his hand. Part of me didn’t want to go to him; I didn’t want to hear what he had to say, but the other part of me wanted it to be over with. I shouted in Taylor’s ear where I was going and she turned, glancing at Jamie with a look of distaste on her face. If only she knew. Taking a deep breath, I slowly made my way over to him, dreading what he was about to tell me. Why was I suddenly of such importance that he had to actually acknowledge my existence and talk to me?
He narrowed his eyes as I stood before him, and he shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. “Why were you looking at me like that?” He leaned into me, shouting above the music. The blonde’s cheap perfume clouded around him, and I held my breath, trying not to gag.
“I’m not looking at you like anything,” I snapped, stepping away from him so I could put some distance between us. His face was devoid of any emotion—no guilt or shame, just nothing. Why was he being cruel? I didn’t want to cry in front of him, so I tried to look like he wasn’t breaking my heart. Like he was nothing to me. A nobody.
“Don’t lie to me. It’s written all over your face.” He leaned back, studying me with glazed eyes. The smell of beer mixed with Patron laced his breath.
“Fuck off, Jamie,” I blasted, unable to take the way he was talking to me, making me feel like I had no right having any kind of feelings toward him. I felt used again.
He folded his arms and an arrogant smirk tugged at his lips. “You’re jealous, aren’t you? Jealous that I’m taking her home with me.” He jutted his thumb back in her direction, and I dropped my jaw at how nasty he was being. I turned my head away from him. I couldn’t look at him anymore. I hated him for doing this to me the way he had. I wanted to walk away from him, but I figured in his drunken state he’d come after me, and we’d make a horrible scene, and I wanted to avoid one. “I’m not yours.” He shook his head at me, pushing the knife farther into my heart and twisting it.
Those words hurt. Out of everything he could do or say to me, those three words killed me, because I knew just how true they were. He never wanted to be mine; I was just there as a release for him. I turned and glared at him. “Then why the hell are you standing here questioning me then?” I asked, swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat.
He glared back at me, but he didn’t respond, so we just stood there fuming at each other. Then, horrible thoughts of him and the blonde raced through my mind, and I couldn’t stand it.
“Please don’t sleep with her in your bed,” my small voice pleaded with him. In a moment of weakness, I couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out.
His jaw stiffened and he swallowed deeply. “You have no right telling me what to do. It’s my house, and I’ll fuck whoever I want there,” he growled.
“What have I done so wrong, Jamie?” I couldn’t hide the raw emotion from my voice. I wanted to know what it was that had caused all of this. I needed the truth. He rubbed his hand across his head and his blank expression faltered slightly. It was enough for me to catch, and it was the most emotion I’d seen on him in the last five minutes.
He looked away from me, choosing to look around the room instead. I was convinced this whole thing was because of Dad. Had he finally realized what a train wreck my life was and how upside down I’d turned his life since I started at the club? He knew I’d never be good enough for him. I didn’t deserve him; even Kal knew that. Nothing came out of his mouth. He didn’t give me any reason. He’d found a shiny new toy and wanted to play with it. He didn’t want to be with me anymore then. That
was it.
“We’re done. Don’t ever look at, touch, or speak to me ever again.” I shouldered past him as hard as I could. I hated him. I walked in the direction of the bathroom and looked behind me, expecting him to be following, chasing after me, begging for forgiveness, but he wasn’t. Instead, he was back over with Marc, who tried to high-five him. Jamie didn’t return it, and took off with his arm around the blonde and left the club. Cam never spoke a word to him; he just watched him leave, staring at the door for a while after he left.
And just like that, my whole world fell apart. Pain crushed me. I was so in love with him, and he’d hurt me in a way I never thought he was capable of. I hated how I’d ashamedly begged him not to take her back to his bed, but he didn’t care; he was going to do it anyway. He was single and had every right to do what he wanted, with whoever he wanted. I sat inside the bathroom stall and broke down.
I had just lost him. The one person who had meant everything to me. The one who had stuck up for me and protected me. The person who knew everything. But I’d seen his true colors now. I needed my best friend. I needed her to come and hug me and tell me everything would be all right. But I knew I was on my own with this. I hadn’t told her about us because she didn’t like him. All she would say was ‘I told you so,’ and I didn’t want to hear it.
After I’d been gone for some time, I was scared Taylor would come looking for me, and finding me in this state, she’d want to know why I was so upset, and I was scared I’d tell her the truth. Taking a deep breath, I unlocked the door and went out to the mirror, dabbing my eyes with some tissue. Some of the girls gave me curious glances, but I ignored them and stared at my broken reflection in the mirror. Visions of him sleeping with her filled my mind over and over, and it was overwhelming. I wanted to be rid of any thoughts. I needed to stop the pictures in my head. I wanted to feel numb, and the best thing for that was Patron, so I headed out and straight to the bar.
Reckless Retribution (West Warriors Book 1) Page 23
